My 6yr. old son is into some girl things like Hello Kitty .....what do I say if he gets picked on for this

Jennifer - posted on 03/28/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 6yr. old son likes some girl items and some boy items and I have always taken the attitude of he can play with any toy if he likes it and it makes him happy I sincerely have no type of judgement regarding this issue however he wants to buy a purse and go out in public like the mall and such and I know kids more than likely will pick on him for this so how do I deal with this? what should I say to him if he is picked on for liking "girly" things. Should I try and somehow prevent him from taking "girly" items out in public? And if so what would I say to him because he has always felt comfortable expressing his desire to play with things that are typically geared towards girls because I consistently tell him if a toy makes him happy then he should play with it so he truly knows that I pass no judgement on things geared towards either gender so I feel like I would be a hypocrite if I told him to not bring girlish items out with him because its "girly".

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Michelle - posted on 03/28/2012

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It is a very hard decision kids are cruel you need to prepare him for the fact that some people will think the items are for girls and may tease him. As for the purse thing why not get him a wallet and tell him it is a boys purse or a man purse. That gets rid of the obvious out in public stares and such he might get.

Medic - posted on 03/29/2012

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Thank you. I was raised in a house where we were allowed to be what we wanted and look like we wanted. We all had different color hair and dressed like very strange little people a lot of the time. I want the same for my kids. My son regularly has green or blue hair and that in itself gets comments. Why put a stigma on our children that they are not good enough? Your son will be ok, show him that people talk and if you put on a proud non-judgemental face and attitude he will see that and immulate it.

Medic - posted on 03/29/2012

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Jennifer- It really does not matter what the rest of the world thinks. I have a 5 year old whom we had to pull out of school and homeschool for NUMEROUS reasons but he was getting picked on. He is in Power Tumbling, Boys Team Gymnastics, tap, ballet, and jazz. He also takes Karate. He has an amazing love of music and he is sensitive. He is also all boy, he rough houses with his sister, loves his cars, trucks, train set, is a computer genius, and excells at school. No one on the outside looking in would know all of these other things that make up my son, they only get to see the boy in the all girl dance class, or the boy who is in gymnastics. We do not tell him things are girl toys or boy toys, he has a sister and their toy collections look pretty much the same. We talk to him about what people say and we do stand up for him when people make comments. We tend to ask which one of societies little boxes would they like my son to fit into, because last time I checked he was a VERY well rounded little boy. Most people shut up, or I will point out that they failed to ask why my daughter is dressed like a boy or walking around with a car.

Katie - posted on 03/29/2012

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I have this problem sometimes too. My son is a bit younger than yours, only 3yrs, but he loves wearing fairy dresses! He even asked for a green (his fav colour) fairy dress for his 3rd birthday! My husband and I happily brought him one and he wears it several times a week. When he wears it he calls himself "Tinkerbell" - very cute! My hubby and I are completely fine with this, if he's happy, we're happy. But he was invited to a friend's (girl) 3rd birthday party, a dress-up one. Of course he wore his green fairy dress and I got SO many comments from other parents about why would I let me son wear a fairy dress?! It's crazy how judgmental people can be.

Good on you for supporting your son! Let him carry his purse!

Katherine - posted on 03/28/2012

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You know what get's me is that it's ok for a girl to have "boys" stuff, but it's not acceptable for a boy to have "girls" stuff. Wonder why that is....

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Jennifer - posted on 03/29/2012

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Medic Mommy thank you for your advice and insight. You sound like an amazing parent we need more moms like you women. And thank you for your suggestions.

Jennifer - posted on 03/28/2012

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Thank you so much Michelle and Katherine for your insight and suggestions I can't tell you how much I appreciate your responses to my question. Michelle your advice of suggesting a wallet to my son as a boy's purse is a great idea. Katherine I know when I was a kid I was a tomboy and played with alot of boy things and nobody thought twice about it so I know personally that girls have a total free pass by society to play with boy toys but boys are scrutinized and judged if they like girl items so annoying.

Jennifer - posted on 03/28/2012

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Christina that's the route I think I am going to take but its so hard to balance the idea of him getting picked on big time and feeling hurt and sad or me going against everything I believe and telling him that these things are girly and he should only bring boy toys out with us when we are out in public ugh I can't stand this decision

Christina - posted on 03/28/2012

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I don't understand why it's ok for girls to like boyish things but not ok for boys to like girly thing. Maybe just explain that some people are mean and might say things but if he wants to have "girly" things it's ok with you. And just support him and be honest. I know I'm not much hellp but I hope it doesn't happen.

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