My 7 year old son is driving me crazy and I feel so guilty for saying that! Please help!

Jessica - posted on 01/15/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 7 year old son will be 8 this June. He does have ADHD but it is very mild and controllable. My problem recently with him is that we have to repeat ourselves with every single thing we tell him. He has a routine when he wakes up for school, but we still have to remind him what to do. He knows the rules of the house, and he's a very well-behaved boy. He does what he's told, he behaves well in school, but it's like he's a huge airhead! We have to constantly tell him every step of everything to do around the house, whether its picking up his toys, taking a shower, getting dressed.....everything. I keep thinking that a soon-to-be 8 year old should be able to think for himself and especially know what to do after constantly being reminded. It's like he will not do a single thing, unless we tell him and it's getting so frustrating. I have no idea what to do. He is my first child and my second one is due in a few weeks. I didn't have the greatest parents growing up, so I can't exactly go by their ways, so I'm on my own. Any advice would be great. Thank you.

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Sal - posted on 09/24/2012

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My almost 6 daughter is the same.... It is driving me insane, it takes ages just to do basic stuff like get dressed as she gets side tracked, she is just too interested In everything else.

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I know how you feel! My youngets daughter will be 7 on February 6th. She is a precious girl...but she just doesn't want to do what she is told. She will do it after 4 or 5 times of being told. My older daughter is 11, will be 12 in March. Sometimes I wonder if the youngest is trying to be like her big sister. Kind of compete maybe. I'm not really sure, but it really does drive me crazy sometimes! I have wondered if she has ADHD. I have thought about taking her to the doctor about it.



She is wonderful at school, and with other adults, but just not with mom. That really hurts sometimes. Try not to let it wear you down, which I know is easier said than done. Maybe he can use some of his energy helping with some of the baby when he/she arrives.



All I can say is try to stay calm. I know from everyday experience that that is not easy...at all! Good luck to you.

Amanda - posted on 01/15/2009

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Don't feel bad.  I have a 7 year old that will be 8 in August.  He has ADHD as well, controlled without medication.  I have to tell him to sometimes brush his teeth or how to shower 3 to 4 times and then all over again.  I feel that it is the age, but I did also noticed this started before our 3rd child was due.  It seems a bit of jealousy but just keep on it, I feel that someday I will have a wonderful boy for some nice young lady.  Good luck!

Phaedra - posted on 01/15/2009

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I could have written that! My son will be 8 in September. I have never had any complaints on his behaviour at school and I'm always told how polite he is when he goes over to his friends. Home is a completely different story. He is forgetful, needs constant reminding, fights with his 3 1/2 year old sister and talks back.



While some of your sons behaviours may be associated with ADHD, or some jealousy aout the arrival of a sibling, I think it's just mostly normal for his age. I hear the same things from my girlfriends about their 6/7/8 year olds, boy or girl. The girls tend to be a bit b****ier though! Keep going with the routines and maybe offer some natural consequences when he does not follow routine, rules or instruction.



For example, when my son forgets to bring his breakfast bowl up from the basement (we let him watch TV while eating in the morning) he has to have breakfast at the table for the next 2 mornings.  When he talks back, is rude or mean to his sister, he gets a demerit point. 4 in one day and he loses a privilege like computer or TV time.  I ask him to pick up, ask him again 10 minutes later and if he hasn't started within the following 10 mins, I pick up the toy and put it away for a while. The length of time depends on the toy and situation. If it's his DS and we're going on a long car trip the next day, he'll get it back in the morning for my sanity!



Try to be patient (extremely hard sometimes!) and remember to show him lots of love when he is behaving. Good luck!



 

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