My 8yr old daughter likes to dress like a boy.

Wendy - posted on 07/06/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have 8 children.They have overall gone through phases and like and what not.But my 8 yr old daughter wants nothing to do with girl stuff.She wont play with girl stuff ,but she is into all types of boy things.Football,baukuagan,wrestling,cars,etc...My question is my mother and I just had a horrible arguement she feels I am confusing my daughter letting her dress how she wants.She choses to wear long shorts boy shirts.I buy girl stuff she doesnt wear it.I buy boyish stuff she loves it.I recently bought my daughter a swim suit she wanted.I bough her a boy suit.It has a top and shorts almost surfer type if that helps describe it.My mother feels that my daughter is confused.But I have asked my daughter if she knows these are boys things she said yes!! I also asked "You do know you are a girl right?" She said I know I am comfortable in boy clothes.I said okay.So she is more than aware she is a girl.Am I doing wrong letting her dress like a boy how she feels comfotable? I also spoke to her and asked if kids have ever othered her she has said yes but it never has bothered her becasue she is comfotable and thats all. :) I know kids are cruel so I just want to make sure she understands but honestly how much does an 8 yr old understand about this?I have asked two counsleers if what I am doing is correct they stated let her express herself eventlually put a limit and boundaries but overall she is 8yrs old.She wanted her hair cut short we compremised and did a cute little bob ..still girlish but short how she wanted....Need some insight and need to know if otthers are have gone or are going through what I am going through......

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Virginia - posted on 07/09/2012

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When I was 11 , I was not girly at all !! I used to wear only over sized T-shirts, jeans and snickers. I was in that age of loving rock bands, wanted to look like my fav. singer: Axl Rose / or Bret Michaels... :) But when that stage finished I was around 17 and I started to have interest on boys; so I started to dress more like a girl , changed my hair, my entire closet, and loved loved being like that !!
Since that time, I still love all the beauty of looking and dressing like a girl !!!
If your daughter is so confident and happy, let her do what makes her feel good. Remember we all change when we become teenagers and adults :)

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Your daughter sounds confidant and wonderful. I never dressed in girls clothes when i was small. I didn't wear a dress until i was in my 20s. When i was younger my mother would sometimes manage to shove me into a dress for mass but it was off before we even got home. I also grew up on a farm surrounded by boys so i never played with girls toys. My little one is three and very girly and i have no idea where she gets it from. I really don't see any big problem letting your daughter dress the way she wants to, just don't let anyone else made her feel that she doing something wrong because she's great.

Danielle - posted on 07/06/2010

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I was sorta like that when I was a child. I was a huge tom-boy...after church I'd get in so much trouble b/c I'd come out and go straight up a tree...in a dress lol. Now as an adult I won't wear a dress unless I absolutely have to. My daughter (4) is alot like me. She'd rather play cars with the boys instead of playing with her barbies. I'm all for expressing yourself. i don't see a problem with what your daughter is doing. She's not hurting anyone and most of all she's happy. As soon as she discovers boys it will prlly change...for now just enjoy the fact that she doesn't fit in that cookie cutter mold.

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Trina - posted on 07/08/2012

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i have this problem with my 13 yr old daughter. she does sometimes dress on the girly side(skinny jeans pull over shirt and she will dress it up with neckacles earrings braclets ets,) but if she has to choose its basketball gear and high top tennis. now her hair is always done but i am a cosmetologist so this has been in her routine since a little girl yet when at home she wraps it in a men's du rag. i took her shooping today for some shorts and she didnt see anything in the girls dept. but she wanted the same shorts i was looking at for my 17 yr. old son and i lost it!!!!!!! im sorry i dont know how to deal with it i mean i was a tomboy at that age and now im girly but its just scary the way the young ladies are these days , i just feel so cheated that my only daughter never allowed us to have that mother and daughter time in a girly way

[deleted account]

Your daughter sounds confidant and wonderful. I never dressed in girls clothes when i was small. I didn't wear a dress until i was in my 20s. When i was younger my mother would sometimes manage to shove me into a dress for mass but it was off before we even got home. I also grew up on a farm surrounded by boys so i never played with girls toys. My little one is three and very girly and i have no idea where she gets it from. I really don't see any big problem letting your daughter dress the way she wants to, just don't let anyone else made her feel that she doing something wrong because she's great.

Chanea - posted on 07/07/2010

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she will grow out of it my third daughter was a tom boy from toddler years up until two years ago and she just turned 13

Jennifer - posted on 07/06/2010

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She sounds like she's pretty self-assured! Congratulations! You seem to have a child who will not bend to peer pressure without a crowbar. It sounds like you are on target. Not every little girl LIKES dresses. Allowing her to express herself in this way may prevent more bold expressions and rebellion in the future. You are tuned into what she likes and what makes her comfortable. She may develop more "girly" interests in the future or she may not. But that's not going to change your love and support. If you are both open to compromise, I think that's great!
The world Mom grew up in is a lot different than the one we live in now. She is, in her own way, trying to help. Maybe you can gently find a way to explain where you are and what the professional counselors have told you. Let her know you will listen to her advice but you are the parent. Not an easy task, but setting boundaries is very healthy in adult parent-child relationships. Hope this helps. Best of luck!

Medic - posted on 07/06/2010

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I was like that at that age only my parents let me buzz my hair off....it was a phase that repeated itself up until my early 20's. Still to this day I would rather wear basketball shorts or sweatpants pulled up to my knees and a big baggy tee shirt. My swim suits to this day are boys surf shorts and a bikini top. I see absolutely nothing wrong with how your daughter is but I do see something VERY wrong with the messages your mother may be sending her. I have always been into boys...they have always been my best friends..and my husband loves me whether I am in my baggy bball shorts or a skirt. What we look like on the outside does not define who we are on the inside. Why should your daughter live inside someone elses box? Tell your mom to back off and let your daughter be herself.

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