My daughter is 15 she wants to be home schooled
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Tracey - posted on 01/17/2013
Also, there is a widespread misconception I've seen mostly here on Circle of Moms that homeschooling is just staying home from school. It's not. College prefer homeschoolers to private and public-schooled kids, because they know how to be self-starters, and most can be team players as well.
You don't have to pull all the information out of your head. There are co-cops, free online classes, paid online classes and tutors, and hundreds of curricula written just for homeschoolers (individual learners rather than a whole classful where you have to teach to the slowest kid and give the smarter ones busywork to fill their time).
My son takes U.S. History, Government and Econ with a homeschooling academy one day a week with a lawyer with 25 years' of experience in Constitutional Law, who has a doctorate. Last year he took Chemistry there with a biochemist who has been working for Eli Lilly Co. for over 20 years. He also took Debate there this year with a person with a masters in communication and many years' experience in public speaking. He's also auditing an Art History and Technique class there from an artist with over 25 years experience.
He takes college Physics online with a live teacher from University of Virginia. It's a free course. He's taking Honors Geometry himself through a book, but has an on-call tutor--again free--who is a retired U of California math professor. He's taking World Literature from someone with a masters in Medieval and Renaissance Lit, and college Intro to Computing through a free course offered through Stanford. Driver's Ed is an online course (at least for the book level) and his football team's 4x weekly conditioning is his Phys Ed. He's doing German on his own through a variety of sources. And he's taking piano from me.
My daughter, 13, has an online math tutor from the University of Boston. He's not free. She's also taking Physical Science at the same homeschooling academy as my son, from a science teacher who used to work for Dow Agrosciences. Her history is done via a book that someone made a list of great, free videos on Netflix/Hulu/Amazon etc. for each section (my 8-year-old does this with her). Language arts are through Sonlight, a great homeschooling program, and she does Geography this way as well. She's a cheerleader, so that's her Phys Ed, and she's also auditing the art history course. And just yesterday I signed her up for a great multi-discipline online science curriculum to augment her class. She will be starting a logic course and piano course as well, and French.
My youngest, 8, is doing math, handwriting, reading, and children's chemistry through various books. She is also doing an online science for elementary school course. She goes to the Academy once a week, where she gets Geography, Indiana History, Art, Science Experiments, Reading, and Math Games. She *is* Phys Ed--the kid runs everywhere and jumps up and down instead of standing still. :-) She does play a lot at friends' houses and while waiting for her sibs at their sports practices, and sometimes we all go to a neighborhood volleyball game on Tuesdays.
Homeschooling is NOT ending education. For most of us, it's far more extensive than they'd get in a government school.
Tracey - posted on 01/17/2013
I've homeschooled my 3 for around 13 years now, and I've helped many people get started, so I have seen *many* kids become homeschooled who were having depression because of their experience in their brick and mortar school.
Government school today can be extraordinarily stressful: schools *say* they're anti-bullying, but it still goes on. There is pressure from teachers who are being judged by standardized test scores, and then the stress of preparing for a 21st century world with an 18th century education (in terms of how kids are taught, not necessarily what they're taught).
Real life is *not* like public school. As an adult, the only other area where you are told you cannot leave for any reason, must wait to eat--wait to get a drink--must wait to pee--and have to sit right next to your bully no matter what--is prison. Smart kids recognize this, and it can be very depressing, indeed.
In fact, the pendulum in public education is swinging back towards individualized education, and homeschooling is far more individualized than anything produced by a committee could be!
I have seen many, many kids who were as you describe your daughter (no confidence, depressed etc.) who have turned that completely around through homeschooling. There are plenty of social opportunities, and they are *not* forced in the same way as being in a classroom all day is. Usually the kids attending want to be there, so it's a very pleasant experience. My son, for example, went to *two* proms as a freshman, one at a public school and one a very large homeschooling prom with attendees from all over the state, held at a posh local private club (we're in Indianapolis, so posh is pretty posh). He's playing football on a championship team for the third year in a row; he's president of a 4-H club and has played baseball and done gymnastics and ballet as well and been a Boy Scout. Yes, he wanted to do all these things--even pre-professional ballet. He's getting his driver's license shortly and is making plans to stay with friends in Italy for awhile, and drive to California from here (not Italy!) this summer. He's technically a sophomore by his age, but he is taking a couple of college courses. And his PSAT scores were high enough that he is getting all kinds of notice from prestigious colleges.
And my husband's been looking for a permanent job for four years, so it's not like we are wealthy *at all*.
Homeschooling can open up a whole new world for a child who is struggling. It can really turn her life around in a positive way, so I encourage you to look into it.
Bobbi Jean - posted on 02/03/2013
First of all, you are a wonderful mother and your daughter is a lucky young lady. I truly wish her and you the best.
A couple of resources--http://fivejs.com/our-4-year-high-school... this is a homeschooling mother's plan for high school. She has offered to correspond on her website. A good math resourse is www.coolmath.com--teaches basics of all levels of math to calculus. If there are reading or language arts issues, I can help-since this is what I teach--I am now part time. My e-mail is email@example.com--I'll help if I can. Another really good resource is DonPotter.net. One of the best language arts websites is http://www.englishmaven.org.
I hope this helps.
SarahShakour - posted on 01/20/2013
My husband went through the exact same thing. When he was in school, he was painfully shy and insecure. During his seventh grade year, he begged his mother to homeschool him. She pulled him from the conventional school....and he blossomed.
He joined a homeschool co-op and made lots of friends.
He started his own store while in high school. Initially, this store was a homeschool project. It grew. Later, he worked in a job that earned six figures for him.
Oh. I almost forgot to mention...he works in SALES!
He is now able to speak confidently to other people.
I firmly believe that homeschooling saved him.
On the other hand, I didn't homeschool. I had to suffer from bullies throughout my elementary and middle school education. And yes, I survived. I had no other option. Plus, I found refuge in God. [Side note: I really think that therapy and drugs only mask depression. Sometimes problems and situations need to change in a person's life. In my case, I moved in my high school years. I left my nerdy status and gained a new identity]
Now, I have three children. I homeschool them. At first, I thought homeschooling was overwhelming. Now, I LOVE it! I plugged my family into the same co-op that my husband attended. 500 children attend that co-op. I honestly feel my kids receive MORE opportunities than they would at a failing conventional institution.
My kids enjoy many social activities outside the co-op: dance, musical theatre, soccer, swimming, church, piano, field trips....
In a public/private school, they are not allowed to socialize outside the limited lunch period. And most of that socialization is bullying, peer pressure, and competitiveness.
I really think it is awesome that your daughter wants to homeschool. This shows that she loves you and believes that you will help her. She trusts you to take care of her. And you CAN!
She must really respect you to go to you with this suggestion. I think many other teenagers find solace in dangerous avenues because they know that their parents will not support them. But in your situation, you and your daughter have a great bond. This shows that you are an awesome mom. :) Be encouraged. Whatever you choose will be right. Moms always seem to know what is best for his/her own child.
Sally - posted on 01/18/2013
When done properly, homeschooling takes a LOT less time and effort to get much more actual education than "normal" school because when you remove the administration and crowd control and tailor the lesson to the child a week of standard education can be covered in 2-3 hours. That leaves tons of time to visit a museum or read a book or surf the web to learn even more about the stuff you will actually use in the real world. Being 15, she's plenty old enough to take responsibility for herself which makes it even easier for you.
As more people learn about how it actually works, colleges and employers have begun to actively court homeschoolers because they less likely to waste time and resources.
Michiela - posted on 07/15/2013
If you can, try it! Dh and I were both homeschooled and plan to do so with our daughter. It's not for everyone, but even starting in public school kindergarten I had terrible anxiety due to an abusive father having sole custody of me at that point. Even after my mom got me I didn't "grow out of it" like people suggested I would, I was actually ahead of the class and none of the other kids talked to me because I was the "teacher's favorite". In 6th grade I literally made myself sick and would go straight to the nurses office at the beginning of every school day then leave with a fever. We had enough of that and I began homeschooling that year. It allowed me to finish at my own pace instead of feeling held back, I got into other activities I was actually interested in, got a job at 14 and met DH in church. I can deal with people and cope better since leaving public school. And in most areas there are co ops where kids and teens can get together and do school work and other activities in a less harsh environment.
Grace - posted on 07/14/2013
Go ahead and home school her. I was home-schooled when I was a child- teen and I am now a successful tennis player with 7 brilliant children and a supportive hubby. So don't worry about her education or academic future, home school her. My eldest 3 go to a private school, it's very free, and sporty. While my youngest 4 stay home with means my husband.. Go for it!
Melissa - posted on 03/02/2013
I think that there could be more going on then she is telling you.
When I was 15 and in high school, I had a group of drug dealers that went to my school telling me they were going to kill me because I told a teacher someone was smoking pot in the bathroom. I thought i was doing the right thing but once I told and these people were kicking me in the hallway, spreading lies about me online, and finally started to stand outside my house waiting for me to come out to beat me up, not one person from the school would help me or believe me. My parent's didnt believe me. so I dropped out, got my GED at 16. I was depressed, but i never got help for it, i never had a mother to lean on then, I would pray every night for God to come and just take me away. I suggest that you keep talking to her about what is causing her to feel this way. She needs someone to talk to. Do little girl days with her to bring up her confidence. She needs to know that no one is going to care who you are after high school. That the people who are making her life hell, peak in high school and will become nothing after. She is better than this, she is fearfully and wonderfully made. I also think you should try home schooling, there is obviously someone she is trying to get away from, she needs to be out of the situation before it gets worse.
I will pray for her, hope that the pain is lifted, no young girl should EVER feel this way and hope that God takes pitty when punishing those who make her feel depressed.
She needs to know she's not alone.
Marie - posted on 03/01/2013
I homeschooled my oldest thru jr high and freshman year he wanted to go to public school...he lasted 3 weeks and asked to go back to homeschool! Kuda are BRUTAL these days and if your daughter is having focus or self esteem iasues like many teen girls, it cant hurt to take her out of that environment if you are able to! We found home program that has classes, activities, science faires, dances etc but the kids all had common issues with bullying or focus etc. contact your public school superintendents office to get a list of local programs and take your daughter to meet people at the various schools. They might even offer a "sit in" on classes so she can see what its like..
Good Luck to you and to her....it stinks being a teen in thia generation..i really feel for kids today..
Amy - posted on 02/22/2013
Lisa, your daughters education is very important, as I'm sure you know and agree. She seems to be going through a lot right now and being in a bricks and mortar school might be making it more difficult for her. You didn't mention what you think or feel about the homeschooling idea so I'm not sure what would be good advice. I can tell you that I have a 14 year old who has always had difficulties being around too many people so a public bricks and mortar school doesn't suit him well. What does your daughter mean by homeschooled? Have you asked her? Does she want you to actually teach her the lessons or does she just want to stay home and complete school online? For my son we started online public school when he was in 4th grade and continued it through 5th grade. We used Nevada Connections Academy for that, but they do have it available in many states. He decided to try traditional public school for 6th but for 7th he went to one of the local charter schools that has online classes. He is in 8th right now and back in traditional public school (he decided to try it here because we moved to a new area), however, he will be going back to the charter school for 9th and will probably continue to do so for all of high school.
You might try finding out about the different charter schools and online schools in your area, as well as the online public schools that are nationwide. One thing you may want to think about when deciding whether to allow you daughter to home-school or do public school is whether or not she is a self starter/ motivator. It is important for her to understand that even though she is at home working a lot of the responsibility to start and finish the work is on her.
I would like to mention, hopefully for your comfort, that my son's grades improved greatly when he started the online schools. He was able to concentrate more on his work and work at his own pace, which made things easier on him. I am not sure how well the school system where you are performs, but out here it isn't so hot. That was very frustrating for my son because they tend to keep the classes curriculum at the level of the lowest student. With my son being AP qualified it doesn't work well for him to be sitting in classes bored all day because he can't work at his level and pace.
Anyway, back to your daughter. She is struggling right now and needs all the support she can get. If she is requesting home-school or online public school I would allow it at this point, if possible. Also, I would like to mention that both, the charter school my son attended, as well as the national online public school, still have field trips for the students to attend. And the charter school has a PE day each week where the students interact. You might want to check into that if you look into schools. These can be good for when you daughter does choose to interact socially, and only doing it occasionally may help her start to get back to a good, healthy routine.
I hope I was helpful, even if just a little bit. Let me know if you could use anymore information.
Dawna C - posted on 02/17/2013
I have a 13 year old who had the same problems. I enrolled her in K 12 it's a free home school. She has bloomed so much. Her grades are all A's now, it use to be D's. & F's. it's the best move we made. All material is provided. They provide all material even the computer and printer. I would look into it.
I am here if you have questions.
Chris - posted on 02/14/2013
Along with checking to see if there is a specific person/class/group creating an issue, you may want to look into other alternative schooling options. I'm not sure where you live or what is available, but there are a variety of schools that offer 'school within school' programs (different names in each area, in ours they are called city schools). For many, it might just take a different type of program, class structure or focus on practical vs pure academics.
If this is something new, then there is something new that has happened. Support your daughter the best you can but try to get to the cause and not just the symptom. Best of luck.
Sara - posted on 02/10/2013
I chose to be homeschooled at 15 for those exact reasons and though I finished my schooling that year with good grades I was even more withdrawn. I gained more weight, became more self conscious, withdrew from people and was insanely shy. If you choose to go this route then I suggest you place her in group activities that she enjoys (sports, crafts Etc) or to get a part time job. Don't allow her to withdraw completely from society she is going to have to learn to cope one day. She can really benefit from home schooling if done correctly.
Jessica - posted on 02/06/2013
Maybe someone is bullying her or bothering her at school and she won't admit that to you. She might be embarrassed. Whatever she needs to learn best thats what you should do. You dont want her dropping out at high school because she didn't get the homeschool she might have needed. If you can. I mean if you able to stay hone with her. Or take her to get some relief. Maybe she would want to see a counseled. Don't just turn to medicine. This is just my opinion. Maybe it would be good for her to take a break from all the social dramma from regular school and maybe she might realize after a while she wants to go back to regular school.
Karen - posted on 02/01/2013
My daughter went through allot of stress at school and we are trying virtual school and some help from the teachers in a different enviorment like the libray a few hours a week.
If it is to much for her then i recomend home school on line and teachers can help to
best wishes i hope it helps my daughter and yours
Feah - posted on 01/30/2013
Well if you think you can handle it go ahead. I was home schooled 6th-8th grade. And though it did help me get ahead of my peers. It strained my relationship with my mother as we were never apart. If you can afford it you should look into private school or even online home school programs if you are not confident about your ability to school her. Another option is a charter school most districts have a charter school (free) that help students graduate at their own pace free of peers or keep peers at a minimum, my sister is finishing her senior year out this way. They use the same curriculum and the students still get to walk at graduation,go to prom, etc as they still are a part of the school they just do school work at their pace and have a class of maybe 20.
My ten year old daughter would love for me to homeschool too, but my husband won't agree to it. However, I've always said as she gets older and at that age where kids are bullying, etc, and appears to be in trouble I will pull her out and homeschool immediately. It's just too scary when you hear about these poor kids who get so depressed and upset they kill themselves over it, plus that kind of unhappiness can follow them for years. I think homeschooling would be a cool thing for her and there are ways you could work on her confidence once you take her away from the school atmosphere which can be intimidating, especially at that age. Definitely check into therapy too. I think not all kids are are cut out for the public school thing, I think I myself would have done much better had I been homeschooled but back in the "day" they didn't do that much. Good luck to you and your daughter!!
Amy - posted on 01/29/2013
Why can't she be homeschooled? You don't need to be "good" at anything to homeschool her. There are a lot of curriculums out there that don't require you to know the answers to the questions, just to be there for her. Most states even have free schooling on the computer that she can do from home. You don't want this to be a time in her life where she's in complete misery, it could scar her for life. Maybe you could try it for the remainder of the school year and see how she does. If she had to go back in school next year it wouldn't be that much of a gap. Most of what kids learn in school these days is to be politically correct, to not think for themselves and to cave to peer pressure, I personally don't see where the loss would be. You can Google homeschool support and can find a multitude of help out there. Good luck to you and your sweet daughter!
Meg - posted on 01/29/2013
My son had terrible anxiety problems at high school, mostly from bullying. His doctor advised home schooling, which we did. He did very well at it, and was quite content. We joined a home schooling group which met once a week and sometimes an outing. I home schooled him till year 11 after which he integrated back into high school, graduated high school as Dux of his class (I believe Americans call this valedictorian), won a full scholarship to university to do Advanced Science with Honours, which he is currently doing and thoroughly enjoying.
Home schooling did not make him *weird*, *odd*, *different* or more likely to do anything bad at all. He's 21 now, does not drink, does not smoke, does not take drugs, is a good driver, a polite and respectful young man with a wide group of friends.
Personally, I think it was the best thing ever.
Lori - posted on 01/28/2013
Have you noticed any pattern in her behavior and emotional state? I ask only because I felt similarly as a teen and was misdiagnosed most of my life with depression, when what I actually have is PMDD. There are great diagnostic questionnaires online to help give you and idea if this might be the issue. If after taking one of those it seems to fit, you'll need to help her track her emotions/moods daily for 3 months to see if there is a correlation to her menstrual cycle.PMDD is not PMS, it can actually be dangerous if not treated. The actual diagnosis has to come from a psychiatrist. I wish I would have known about his disorder early in my life so I could have learned to cope with it instead of just withdrawing from life and feeling crazy. This might not fit your daughter at all, but best to make sure. If she really just wants to be home schooled and your able to provide that I think it's an amazing opportunity and can provide a wonderful opportunity to teach to your child potential. Just be sure to include social opportunities that can bring joy to her as well. Swimming, Art or Dance classes can be enriching as well.
Pure - posted on 01/23/2013
This might be exactly what she needs. Firstly lets address the anxiety first, if you download the Youtube video (it runs for 15 minutes)
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) & STRESS -
EFT often works where nothing else will. It is usually rapid, long lasting and gentle. EFT doesn't use drugs. It is easily learned by young and old alike. EFT is self empowering—you can do it for yourself. EFT has been known to work in many areas that are difficult for more traditional therapies and mainstream medical techniques. Some of those areas include:
Pain Fears/phobias, Headache, Claustrophobia, Judging, Agoraphobia, Panic/Anxiety, Fear of flying, Asthma, Trauma, PTSD, Eating disorders, Abuse, Weight loss, Performance Anxiety, Creating Healthy Boundaries, Attracting Abundance, Blood Pressure, Anger, ADD-ADHD, Allergies,Children Diabetes, Dyslexia, Success/Failure Syndromes, Neuropathy...
I have used this painless, non-toxic method myself over the years with wonderful, positive results usually within hours of repeating the method over and over, and over.
If she needs a little more confidence get her to wear plain cotton RED undies - red is used for power, confidence, it's the colour of survival. Fed her well on organic fruits, vegetables and meats and try and source pure water - for the whole family not just for your daughter - for life.
Does she hide behind long hair - cut it. Does she wear more synthetic clothing over natural materials - synthetics cause the body to over heat and in turn cause us to become lethargic, lazy and despondent - so does being surround by loads of electrical equipment - turn everything off at the wall that you do no NEED. Does she watch a lot of rubbish televisions shows, and listen to that god awful crap they call music these days?
Take all her bedding, mattress, blankets, pillows everything and lay them all out in the full sun for at least 3 hours. And allow her to sleep with the windows open - we need to be sleeping with fresh air flow.
I think that will do for now, good luck with her I know teenagers can be a handful.
Tracey - posted on 01/23/2013
One example, Cindy. That's just one. How many do you actually know? I know several hundred, between all my kids' activities. They are not "often" weird, anymore than public school kids are "often" weird. In fact they are often "weird" in a good way--if you count not being into drama and not willing to do anything to get in on the latest fads and not being mean to people who are different than them "weird". My own oldest two kids both got asked to work for both Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch--it you know about those two stores, you can't just go in an apply--they have to ask you first, and they most definitely do not ask "weird" people.
The whole idea of "weird" is such a public school concept in the first place. Tolerant? NOT. It means that you think someone else's normal state of being is unacceptable to you because they're different. It means you think, deep down, that people need to all act the same. The novel 1984 called it "groupthink".
And that shooter was only homeschooled a short time, too, *because* he graduated early but his parents didn't want him full-time in college right away because of his problems.
Homeschooling had *nothing* to do with that shooting.
Christine - posted on 01/22/2013
This is a very tough age for girls in general. From 15 to 17 is pretty tough. You say she has depression and anxiety. Has she been diagnosed with this? Is she seeing a counselor and/or taking medication for it? Maybe the counselor can help her through this stage. If not, home schooling may be a good option for her for now.
Tracey - posted on 01/19/2013
I was bullied myself without a break until I graduated from high school. It took me *decades* of counseling to get even partially past what happened to me, and yes, I wanted to die many times and still struggle with it. I majored in psychology in college and learned a ton, and all the time I am aware that there are things that happen normally with most people that didn't for me. My bully isolated me, and since she was a "good" girl, and her dad was popular in town, no one would believe the extent of what she was doing. And this was in the days before cyberbullying was possible! In high school she became a Christian and publicly apologized to me during a youth group trip. And the sad thing was that at that point, I had forgotten what it was like not to be bullied and had believed what the adults in my life were telling me and that I'd made it up--I had to block it out and not see it in order to survive. I told myself that what she was doing and how she was making me feel was normal somehow and that it was my fault if I felt bad about it. So when she apologized I didn't even know what she was talking about, and then it all came flooding back. So I *know* it's possible to have coping strategies you don't even realize you're using. And as I finally worked through everything, I did come to see that others who have been bullied don't necessarily realize how far they are from normal in the early stages--and many never get beyond the early stages without help.
My own experience was one of the factors in my decision to homeschool my kids, although academics was the main one.
Stacy - posted on 01/19/2013
Yes I absolutely believe 100% that bullying can follow you anywhere. Recently in the county next to us, a girl about age 18-19 yrs old had this happen to her at her job! She recently graduated works at a store in the mall, and also does modeling on the side. She was at work and apparently a group of girls called her work and asked when she would be working, came to the mall, followed her while she was on her break, took out a knife and cut her face several times (she is okay they were minor, she got away) but this was because they wanted to ruin her modeling career (btw they werent even models themselves, for whatever reason they didnt like her). It is awful and I dont mean to change the subject at all but things like this shouldnt be happening, schools need to help more with bullying and the children need to be taught everyday to include others they wouldnt normally, and to simply treat others how they want to be treated, no matter who they are or what they look like. I think if everyone tried hard enough as a community, kids would be happy to go to school and feel comfortable with who they are. They only problem is, is that its hard to truly get everyone involved. So many people "stay away from any situation" because they dont want to be involved, worried about what would happen to themselves, but if you got at least one other person to stand up with you, its a start and it really does give you confidence and sense of security to be able to do it alone.
Amanda - posted on 01/19/2013
Thanks for saying I am not normal. If you have never been bullied to the point where you want to die then you don't know what it is like. I got it at school, graduated in 2003 so don't know what a swirly feels like, in the change room after swimming and during swimming. I hated everything about me and my life and wished I had never been born. My parents kept telling to stand up say something to them or to my coach. I was to the point where I would help clean up pool deck so I was the last one to go into the change room. When I stood up to those group of girls I never felt so empowered. Once I stood up to them I had four girls other girls yelling at them with me. They never bothered us again. The started to pick on the ones who did not say a word but we stood up for them too. Bulling can fallow you into the work place, and college, but if you just put your foot down they stop. After you try to stand up to them if they don't back down, then yes parents step in. Bullies are bullies for a reason, chances are they are bullied at home. Also 75-80% of all bullies are girls, so what is that telling us. That kids now a days have no respect for anyone. I see it all the time when I coach swimming. I had to put my foot down to a bully there and she hasn't been back to practice.
From the sounds of it her daughter is keeping it all inside and not talking about what happened. Until she opens up and tells you what is going on you don't know where to start. There are groups, well in canada at least, where teens who have been bullied can go and talk about it with other kids.
I encourage all kids to watch a movie called Cyber-bully, it is an eye opener. Her mom steps in and nothing happens. The girl is the one who changes it all.
Tracey - posted on 01/18/2013
Bullying today is not the bullying of the 50s or the 80s--swirlies in the toilet and stealing baseballs and lunch money. It often has a cyper component it never used to have, and can be strangers from other countries who are decades older. It should never just be handed to a child to handle without investigation! The old advice of "just let her handle it, she''ll be better for it" has been disproven multiple times and in fact has been proven to produce psychological cripples who may never realize how far off the norm they are and what they're missing.
Kids can still be exposed to bullying while homeschooling. All my kids have had that experience, mostly through external non-homeschool activities like sports. And all of them have at least handled a lot of it on their own, but I knew what was going on. Most overt attempts at bullying don't even get off the ground in settings where an adult, or a bunch of adults, are all paying attention, unlike the atmosphere in many mass education settings. If this is the case from the time they are small, that they know they are safe, they end up developing enough self-confidence that they are pretty immune from bullying by the time they're older. This has been our experience and the experience of many homeschoolers I know.
Amanda - posted on 01/18/2013
I would find out if anything happened to cause this. She is a teenager. She is probably bullied. I was all throughout junior high and high school, but my parents would not let me be home schooled. They told me to stand up for myself. You have to find out what the root of the problem is. Did she maybe do something with said ex and he spread it around the whole school? She probably wont tell anyone what happened on her own so you need to dig to find out. If in the end she just doesn't like being around people then so be it, but she will have to eventually. Getting a job, going to university. Helping her now by finding out what happened will be better in the end. I had a friend that was home schooled and he couldn't go out and get a job because he didn't know how to interact with people.
Has she always been like this or did it start after they broke up?
As for bullying yes it will always happen, even when she becomes an adult. If she plans on going to university then she needs to learn to face it head on now when you can hold her hand. Find a local group that offers peer mentoring. Maybe she can find someone who was just like her and see what they did with their life. But by taking her out of the situation she is running away from the problem. My son is five and there is a bully at his school. He asked me if he could change classes. I told him to ignore her, if it continues fight back, if the school has a problem then they call me.
Find a group that does things she is into weather it be crafts, poetry, reading, or camping. Finding kids with the same interest will give her a confidence boost. Plus if she is going to go down this road every time she breaks up with a boy, then there are many more days like these as she may get her heart broken many times.
Find the root of the problem is going to be the best, sit down with her and just talk about it. Make sure you tell her she wont get in trouble over anything she tells you as it seems she already is suffering for what happened. But as someone who went through what she is going through, the best thing my parents did for me was to make me face things head on! She is a women and should be proud of who is she is!
Stacy - posted on 01/17/2013
At that age I wanted to be homeschooled even before that age actually. I had no confidence, there were soo many girls that were socially competitive and I am more of a quiet type that just didnt fully fit in. I was bullied sometimes not alot, but enough to bother me. There is alot of pressure in highschool to join certain clique's and had to maintain your "status". Hormones are raging and friends or class mates having boyfriends, it just puts on more pressure. Its hard to even sit in a class when you dont feel comfortable in your own skin, and you just want to be invisible sometimes.
This (and more) is just things I felt going to school (Im 23 now) and I did have a hard time with it. She probably doesnt feel exactly the way I do but either way, its an uneasy feeling. I asked my parents repeatedly to be home schooled but thy wouldnt do it. Things did eventually work out for me but it took yrs to really figure out myself and become my own.
I think homeschooling is a great option. Even a different school. But the only negative thing I see with homeschooling is that you dont have near as much social time as you would if you were going to school. So you would have to get her in local activities where she can develop her social skills and it will help her get over this hurdle.
With public school, which I went to, I am not a fan, there is just too much pressure on the kids. I see teens dressing super sexy, and drinking, drugs, sex... Its alot of things that even I was introduced to, and if I were homeschooled I know that I probably wouldnt have made the mistakes I have made in the past, and just with the pressure to try things your classmates are doing, looking better than the other girls, having better thing that other people, etc. its just all un-needed pressure that have filled schools today and if youve realized it doesnt even come close to what school is about, learning the books, preparing for the future. And what comes along with these pressure are feeling down on yourself and not being about to cope with the socialites around you, its hard. I feel for her and i do hope she gets through these feeling faster than I did.
Id just give it sometime and some good thinking over, make sure its the best decision for your family.I suggest doing the simple thing of writing the pros and cons, and going over it with her. This is a tough age, she will get through it, its good that you are there supporting her, she needs alot of it.
Lisa - posted on 01/16/2013
Been doctors he said she needs to take her medication and to concentrate on her education, counselling being sorted. She has also split from a relationship which had problems as they both relied on each other for support but its took its toll on her as now she has no trust and doesn't go out we r all here for her but she pushes us away then she wants me to help I'm doin my best ...but a lot now is being alone at school...I just don't know what to do for the best ..I just know that she needs to finish her education so she can get through for her exams.id be no good at home schooling I never did well but I've always tried to be surpportive and be there...we've filled a form for college
Jennifer - posted on 01/16/2013
I would definitely talk to her doctor and see about getting her into therapy. It's tough being a teenage girl, and it sounds like it is being extra rough on her. As far as home school, I would say if you are able to do it, go for it! It's hard to learn when you are so uncomfortable in the learning enviroment.
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