My daughter is out of control.

Kathy - posted 3 days ago ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a very strict Christian woman that lived at home until I got married. I have an 18 year old daughter that is staying out past curfew and drinking. She know that as long as she lives under our roof, she is expected to obey our rules. I really don't want to kick her out. I am currently spanking her with a switch or strap, but the spankings no longer seem effective. They adjust her attitude, just not enough. Does anyone have any ideas on how to better control her? We only use corporal punishment. That's how I was raised and I believe it is the most effective method.

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Ching Ching - posted 10 hours ago

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Spanking a child past the age of 10-11 is no longer effective. When your child get to be pre-teens, you have to start: 1. allowing natural consequence to be a teacher (eg. if they drive too fast , they get a speeding ticket, if they have an accident, they pay for damage). 2. Take privilege away. Does she drive, if so, ground the use of the vehicle. Does she have a phone that you pay for? If so, take her phone. The fact that she is 18, she is an adult. If you do not want her to move out and think that can actually help her, you may do it for a year or two more to help her with some issues, but you need to set rules for her to be living in your house (sounds like you already are doing that). If she does not respect the rules and have no intention to do so, then she needs to move out, find a job to support herself, and live a real adult life that she desires.

Spanking an 18 year old is not only ineffective, it really is viewed as an abuse because no adult should be hitting another adult. It is demeaning and hurtful. I am not against corporal punishment, I did that to all 3 of my kids before age 12, but once you past that age, it is no longer effective. In fact, it may create opposite effect. She may feel hurt, unloved, and will end up rebelling against everything you try to teach her.

On the side note, I am a Christian too and I love my kids will all my h part, and I believe in spanking when children are young. Hope that helps! PM me if I can be of any other help!

Rachel Louise - posted 1 day ago

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I was raised the same way. It was when my father gave me more severe canings and restrictions that I learnt to behave

Michelle - posted 2 days ago

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Assaulting an adult isn't the best way to get them to live by your rules, it's illegal and she could have you charged.
If she isn't wanting to live by your rules then she needs to move out.
Are you maybe being a bit too harsh with your rules? You can't treat her the same as a 15 year old, she's now an adult and as a parent we need to relax the rules as they grow so they can make the right choices in life.

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