My disrespectful child drops bomb shells

Rebecca - posted on 11/08/2016 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My child is 19 and was engaged two a very handsome boy whom she loved so very much and he broke her heart by cheating. Than she dated another really good looking like who posted wanting threesome with Alli on line without her permission so again her heart was broken. So she received a soccer scholarship in allendale South Carolina. So because she was so hurt she took it, I wasn't sure about this move because she was my youngest and my first to go so far away, and with her heart being broken I was worried about her. Allison and I was so close. But as soon as she left we started having problems which I will own this because I guess I called her to much. I was worried because she had been injured twice. I wasn't allowed to see her games due to the travel. But a month ago I received a text one of Allison holding hands with a girl that she had brought home and to my family in town and Georgia and stayed with. And then a 2nd text saying I'm sorry but I'm Gay... but before I could think enough to understand what I was just told , I was send a third text saying and the girl I am talking to that makes me happy is black. I was hit with so much at one time and then I called and told Alli that Amber is never allowed in my home again. I said your dad would be so upset, and she said well I guess it's best that he's dead. She hung up with me and my family who is old school and from Georgia. I had to tell my 80 year old mother which broke her heart. Finally a few days later she called and amber was very rude to me. And than a couple days ago my 13 year old granddaughter was given a picture of Alli and Amber kissing. So I gave her a choice she gives up Amber, and learn do respect fast or I stop paying her bills and she returns my car, and drops out of college and get a job. I may have over reacted but it was dropped in my lap I don't know how to handle eith what I know I don't believe she's gay what do I do I need help?

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Margret - posted on 11/14/2016

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What society deems acceptable in relationships, doesn't mean it's right for everyone. It seems, to me, the relationships your daughter had has left her feeling uncertain of who she is. It doesn't mean she has to seek validation elsewhere. I believe your daughter needs the unconditional love of her mother. Let her know your love will never change; let her know you're not judging her lifestyle choice -- it doesn't define who she is. Being available for your daughter as she needs you will help strengthen your relationship. I pray she'll find her way back to being who she was created to be, and free from needing the validation of others. Hoping the best for you and your daughter.

Michelle - posted on 11/11/2016

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Well said Annette.
How can a child be disrespectful just because she is gay and is with someone of a different race?
And the last line: "I don't believe she's gay" My heart goes out to this young lady.

Annette - posted on 11/11/2016

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So 'old school' means racist, sexist and homophobic, does it? Get over yourself. She's your daughter. It's your job to love her unconditionally. Do you even know what that means? Grow a spine, be a proper mother and show your daughter the love she deserves, irrespective of what anyone else thinks. She has shown you the ultimate respect by saying "Sorry, I'm gay". Did you not read this twice and realise that she KNOWS you will be upset (sorry), but told you anyway, in the vain hope you would just love her. But your intolerant, spiteful and narcissistic responses were quite simply examples of outright rejection. How devastated do you think that left her? Oh, you don't care how she feels about it, because the only opinion that matters is yours? Of course, how silly of me :-/

PS: You are related to DJT aren't you? Bigot!!

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2016

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I agree with Jodi, just because you were raised a racist doesn't mean you have to stay one.
Yes, she is an adult and you don't have to pay for her living expenses but be prepared that she will cut you out of her life for good until you can accept who she is!

Krysta Lynn - posted on 11/09/2016

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you sholdent do any of that i am a mother of three kids 2 girls and one boy my oldest daughter is pan-sexual so she likes girls guys and anything in between and she single right now but when i first found out she was dating a girl she came to me and told me and i though hat is was a phase but it wasent she is now 16 and living with me and i dont judge her cause that makes her feel better she gets picked on in school for it so if you think treating your daughter that way is going to help WRONG!! she needs you what if she is getting bullied and she falls into drugs or something and goes to jail that will all be on you cause you werent their to help her your not a mother your a racist bitch honestly oh and my daughter has date plenty of black girls and guys i still welcome them in cause you dont know the other persons situation they could have a worse life also what if she kills herself cause of the way you treated her thinking that their is no one

Jodi - posted on 11/09/2016

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So...you were okay with her dating "good looking" men, but now she has said she is dating a woman....who is black...... you are upset and want to cut her off.

Way to go with your parenting, because it sucks.

Or you are a troll. One of the two.

But just in case you are actually for real - she is an adult and you are within your rights to stop paying bills, have cars returned, etc, as you please. But do you REALLY want to destroy your relationship with your daughter because you are a bigot and racist?

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