my fiance works alot of hours and makes good money, but doesnt save any money..how can i approach him about his spending?

Shell - posted on 09/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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ok, my fiance and i have been engaged for almost a yr now... we also have a 5 month old son, he works a good job and is working 7 days a week so hes making alot of money with over time, well the most i see of it a week for our son is 30-50, because thats all i spend money on, if i dont need anything for him, i save it.... which end up having to still give it to my fiance when he runs out before his next check... he also gets paid weekly... he spends all his money on this race remote car thingy one of those hobby cars, i swear he's spent enough on that, which we could of bought a real car, since neither of us even have that... plus we are living with my mom.. he pays my mom 400 a month but that is about the only thing he is responsible about... he really wants to move, we both do, but we dont have anything save, and whenever i try to talk to him he says in a irritated voice that he knows and he will... but its the same every week, plus where the hell is all that money going even if he spend 50-100 on his hobby he should still have quite a bit left over, i just dont know what to do... this is not the person that asked me to marry him, btw he comes home and goes straight to that car, barely spends any time with us at all... i know our son is young plus he has colic so hes been crying and hurting and i know my fiance feels like he wouldnt be no help but stilll... our son really changed my thinking and priorities around, i just wish the same for him :( any one have any advice

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Stacy - posted on 09/24/2012

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dont worry, it will get better. It does seem everything changes after baby comes along, and it feels like the men are the ones always having a good time to themselves and not helping as they should! Truthfully I dont think they see it even close to the way women see it, its like they havent a clue on how it effects us. You need to communicate. When my son was first born me and my hubby had relationship issues and thankfully we are better but still working on our issues. Are you the main person taking care of the finances? If so you need to sit down with him and go over money and what you will need when you o move out, it is alot different and hes going to have to realize that if he wants somehting he is going to have to work towards it. ONe thing Ive learned with mine, dont try to tell him what he is doing wrong or what he needs ot do better, they might not seem to have emotions like woment do but really they do. Id jjust advise for yall to have a sit down and just tell him how this situation is making you feel, the longer you hold it the more unecessary emotions rise. Dont worry though things will get better, I think it just hasnt hit him yet and when it does, its life changing :)

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