JANINE - posted on 05/08/2012 ( 19 moms have responded )
I'll start this long story at the end.....Last Saturday my husband told me he wanted to go to a fight party his friend was having and I told him I had Book club which I have every 1st Saturday of the month. We agreed that I would come home in time for him to leave. Unfortunately because it was Cinco de Mayo and My Girls decided to go to a Mexican restuarant (very bad idea) I got home late. I know I was wrong, I should have left in time but I didn't and I apologized via text after my husband hung up on me. I arrived home in time for him to still go and see the main fight but he felt that I had "manipulated the situation" so that he could not go. After bringing up everything he thinks I have done wrong in the last 10 years that we have been married including cheating(not true), lying (maybe a little), being selfish(huh?) and most importantly "constantly disrespecting him"(his perception), he preceded to go around the house and break up stuff including throwing away the full untouched meal I bought home from the restaurant and the refrigerator drawer it was in, breaking 2 computer screens and a DVD player and throwing papers and food all over the floor. He did this in front of my 4-year son who was sleeping on the floor and loudly enough to wake up our other 3 kids who are 8,6 and 4(yes we have twins). I was shocked at this behavior. Usually when he gets angry he says very mean things(which I know is unacceptable) but I have never seen him or anyone else for that matter become so angry and violent. The next morning when I told him that his reaction was wrong he called me his "stupid wife". I'm writing in the SAHM forum because my husband's apparent "hatred" for me stems from the fact that after my 1st daughter was born 8 years ago I told him I did not want to go back to work because I felt I was the best person for her to stay with all day. Teaching Middle School was an awesome yet exhausting job as was having a newborn. I really felt that I could not do both effectiviely. He strongly disagreed with my decision to stay home mainly because he thought it was foolish to give up my paycheck. We are not rich by any means but I felt with proper management we would be fine. 3 more kids later we are fine except that he still resents my staying home(its been 8 years now). Now I work partime but he feels like the job I am doing is beneath me. There are many more details to this story that I won't go into but I just want to figure out where to go from here. While I do strongly feel that divorce is not an option, his behavior was repulsive to me and I am deeply hurt by his actions. He refuses to apologize or get marriage counseling....now what?