My husband thinks I do not do anything....

Ginger - posted on 01/21/2009 ( 29 moms have responded )

2

14

0

Hey, I really could use some advice. I do not know what to do. I have been at home now for almost two years now. I was really sick and then I had our youngest son who is now 6 months old. I have always worked and I am miserable now that I am at home all the time. I don't have anything to do during the day because we do not have any extra money. My husband seems to think that my job here at home is nothing. I keep the house cleaned nice everyday. Basically I do everything around the house except keep up with the laundry. I hate doing laundry. I still do it but like i may wash it all one day and put it all away the next day. All he does is complain about everything telling me all the time to get off my butt and go to work. Also my little one was very sick until he was 3 1/2 months old. I have just been looking for a job for the past month. I do not know what to do. No one is hiring and I am tired of his complaining.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Lynda - posted on 01/21/2009

1

0

0

Wow, after reading all the comments I have a lot of strong opinions about anyone who thinks stay at home mom's just sit around.  JUST watching the kids is a full time 24x7 job (there's no commute time to wind down, there's no breaks or lunches or meetings or conference calls or saying, "Sure, I'll get you that report later as soon as I finish this other report - maybe you can assign that to Bob because I'm way too busy this week" - With kids it's just 100% needs and wants that need your full attention all the time with no one else to do it.



Here's a list you can show your husband of all the duties that really get done when people refer to it as "taking care of the kids":  (it's a long list, get ready): changing diapers, wiping their bottoms, making food, feeding them food, cleaning up the food, shopping for the food, changing diapers again, shopping for the diapers, dressing them head to toe, shopping for the clothes, purging the clothes they outgrow, kissing their boo boos, making sure they don't get more boo boos, disciplining to teach right & wrong (similar to doing development plans and employee evaluations at work if you're a manager - except imagine if it were every day), acting as a teacher - which is a full time job with a salary - except not getting a salary & not having any recess time or set hours, reading to them, playing music, cleaning up messes, fixing broken toys, cleaning up the toys they play with (over and over and over), repeating directions because they don't learn the first time, trying to be patient, brushing hair, washing/bathing, praising and rewarding, putting coats on and shoes/socks, taking coats off and shoes and socks, finding another outfit when the first one was spilled on after cleaning up the mess they made, feeding them again, getting them a drink, making sure the lid is on the drink, shopping for more to drink.  Now, we haven't even started the housework (which is another full time job that usually pays $25 or more an hour).  See this site for the $$ cost of house cleaning:  http://www.costhelper.com/cost/home-gard...



Being a spouse or a parent is not a job, but a relationship.  However, being a caretaker all day and night and weekends + a home maker is equivalent to 2 jobs and could/should have reasonable expectations, lots of praise/recognition (even more so if there's no pay involved).  So, I'd say look up the going rate on the # of hours of work you're doing and show him how much you are saving him (this is called a ROI or return on investment).  His investment should be to show appreciation and gratitude for the valuable services you are delivering.



Sincerely, a mom of 3 who used to have a highly-paid managerial job and is now staying at home with the kids and barely able to keep up with the housework (I really wish I had a house keeper for all that work cuz it's extremely difficult to get it all done well). 



TIP:  Leaving the house means the mess is not created in your own home for at least a period of time.  The more time you spend at home, the more there is to do.  The less time you spend at home, the less there is to do at home (at least that's my experience).

Sara - posted on 01/25/2009

9

7

0

My husband does the exact same thing to me. But when we had our 2nd baby, and I had to stay with him in the hospital for 6 weeks, while my husband stayed home with our then 2 year old, he couldn't handle it. And yet, our 2nd child is now 4.5 months old now, and he's doing the same thing again. And my house is acctually alot cleaner than it was when I was pregnant since I can bend over now. I think sometimes men need to make us feel crappy about something in a day to make themselves feel like they are better. Sick, sad, and true in my case. I'll end up going back to work again soon just to make him watch the boys sometimes, and watch him squirm under the pressure of it. He'll beg me to come back home like the last time I worked full time. When will they ever learn...

Emily - posted on 01/21/2009

62

9

22

I hate laundry too....It is piled up right now! And my husband sometimes complains too and asks me, "what do you do all day?'' Then he had to stay home with our son and try to keep up with a baby and maintain the house, he realized it wasn't so easy! I understand your issue a bit, beacause I don't work, but I have tried. The economy just stinks right now, so at least we are blessed enough to have a home to be in and that our hubbys have jobs. Maybe if you just ask him flat out what you can do that will make him not complain and tell him to understand that you also have kids to tend to throughout the day. I get a bit miserable during the day sometimes, because we have no adult interaction...at least the husbands have that!!!! I don't have any real good advice to give , so sorry about that, but I do understand. I just know when I have an issue with my husband I approach him in a serious way, not naggy but serious and tell him we need to talk, it works for us....I talk with no interruptions and then its his turn.

Leonie - posted on 01/26/2009

4

10

0

know what i did???  got a job two days a week on a weekend so my hubby HAD to do everything i did.... he soon learnt that what we do is not nothing......   it all seems never ending doesnt it that washing, i hate it tooo.   if nobody is hiring maybe you could volunteer somewhere, it looks good on your resume and it will get you out of the house...   i would never go back to work full time we are lucky we can support ourselves but my work is the release and break that i need, it gives me a chance to talk to adults!!!!

Lady Mary E.A. McNamara - posted on 01/25/2009

13

30

1

I have to say, especially if you have little ones, how in the world can you be bored?  I was so busy keeping up with my kids, cleaning the house, making dinner, doing errands - who has time to be bored.  If you have spare time, find the closest library.  They have programs for the kids - story time, activities, etc.   They have book clubs for moms.  Check out a whole bunch of kid books to read to your kids at home.  Get out books on fun thing to do for free in your area or projects that are inexpensive to do with your kids.  I have homeschooled for 14 years and the library has been our best resource for everything.  When my kids got to about age 3, they started "helping" me with chores.  I'd let them put the silverware away or help put dishes in the washer or even helped me hand wash - that was always more fun.  You need to understand that children are forever.  When you invest time in them, you will reap great rewards eventually.  In this life, you will do many things that have little to no value and that includes a job outside the home.  Jobs come and go but children are forever. They are the only thing in this life that has eternal value.  It is very hard for a mom to stay at home and feel productive b/c everyone else is telling you that what you're doing doesn't mean anything or isn't as important as a "real" job.  These people are very shortsighted.  My children are now 17, 14, and 9 and are absolutely wonderful.  We've had our share of extremely hard times, but with God's help, we've made it through and I can honestly say I love being with my kids because they are great people.  Keep your eyes on the bigger picture.  Don't let the circumstances of the moment make you give up the blessings of sticking with it.  If you ever need someone to "vent" to, feel free to contact me.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

29 Comments

View replies by

Rachel - posted on 01/25/2009

38

48

10

Diddo on the hating laundry...it's never ending!!  I know what you feel like.  Sometimes my husband comes home and starts freaking out ( he is a neat freak) because something isn't done and actually talks to me like one of the kids.  It is very frustrating.  I just tell him I am not perfect ( I'm not his mom, I am his wife) and proceed to tell him every single detail about what I did do.   What I cleaned over and over again, breaking up fights, homework, etc.. Then I tell him he should be thankful I at least got that done and that he should look at what has been accomplished not what hasn't.  I also have him write me a 'honey-do list" and tell him I'll get to it in my own time, not his.  I don't know if that helps, but I totally understand where you are coming from.  I also volunteer at the YMCA every Friday.  I have to take all the kids, but I put them in Child Watch and do my thing.  We even get  a free family membership.  So, try volunteering, doing playdates, and the library.  Good luck, let us know how things go.

Sonya - posted on 01/25/2009

15

4

0

I know what you are going through. I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years now. I had a choice between my job and the kids and I decided the kids were the most important. I was at my job for almost 6 years, when I was released(nicer sounding than fired). I went back to school and that was even more demanding than just staying at home. I just graduated with my Associates Degree and I am having a hard time finding a job. When I sat down and thought about it, I would end up paying more in childcare. I have 5 boys and only 2 of them are at home at this point, but childcare is costly. I miss the adult interaction so much. I talk to friends I used to work with, reconnected with people I graduated with 20 years ago, but sometimes, just not the same. I have thought about just going back to school, so I can be around other adults and work towards another degree program I have been considering. It sounds good that you will be starting work in a week. I hope everything works out for you. My kids dad thinks I just sit around all the time, but hates it when I have him watch the kids for meetings I have to attend at the school. I really do not think there is a magical pill to make a man realize how much is in a days work of running a household and taking care of kids. Oh, by the way, I tried not doing the laundry for him and only for the kids. once he got down to his last pair of undies and socks, it was not pretty. watching him take 2 days to do all of his laundry and run up and down the stairs keeping up a fast heart rate and a dirty look. In the long run, he asked that I not do that again and all I could do is reply, "will you admit staying at home is more difficult than you thought?". I have not heard much since then.

Marie - posted on 01/25/2009

135

22

20

I would say to your husband that he is being very ignorant in this area. Hope that doesn't offend you but that just makes me plain MAD to hear. My husband would never ask me to go get a job, in fact he prefers me to stay home since he see's the value in it for our kids sake.
Plan a day out for just you, then tell your husband that " you think you can do it better, so prove it to me, here's your chance" then have a list of basic chores you do while multitasking the children all day, plus a few extra items, and leave him to is devices. Include dinner for him to make..... I bet you that more then half the chore list will not be completed and he will have a few excuses as to why he couldn't complete it, and now you have your amo and can have your position as a stay at home mother proven as a very busy and full day, not a lazy uneventful one!!!!! Try it, please!!!! He needs to eat his words, they are hurtful and not at all ok!

Liana - posted on 01/25/2009

208

14

21

Ask him to stay home for a weekend by himself with the kids, go stay with a relative or a friend.  See how well he does and how clean the house is then.  Men do not realise what a tough job it is untill they do it.



Alternatively if he refuses do a list of housework jobs and a list of everything you do with the kids on a daily basis and tick it off as you do it, do a seperate one for the weekly jobs and the little jobs that only get done say once a month, then he has a visual repesntation of what you do.

Rowines - posted on 01/24/2009

19

40

1

Ginger you are not alone on this as you can see l.o.l. I am 20 years old and we have two kids a 3 y.o and a 11mo old. before our young one came into the picture my husband asked me to get another job and I did. I worked days while he worked nights he was supposed to be watching our daughter ( at the time she was 2) during the day while worked but he only lasted a week and a half and he asked me to quit my job so that I could stay at home to watch her and so I did. since I quit my job I had decided to go back to school well start college but then we got the suprise that I was pregnant. Now we have to kids and his usual thing is " I bust my A** all week to get home to the house with toys all over messes everywhere and kids screaming!" I feel guilty because I know he works hard to get home to this the messes the toys the screaming. Just last week I told him ok Saturday I'm cleaning and your helping and boy was he quick to start an arguement but I shut him up lol and told him you are only helping me by keeping the kids and the puppy out of my hair so that I can clean without any interruptions since you swear I can clean the house and take care of the kids and the puppy all day with no problems and he said ok. Today is Saturday and I already started to clean I asked him to feed his son while I clean and he said no you feed him I told him no you are helping me but he said that he would be staying up all day today... my husband is sleeping right now and I'm stuck with the kids the dog and cleaning. I'm seriously getting ready to just have him clean the house and take care of the kids and I go bye bye for the day see if he says that I sit on my A** all day in front of the computer!!!! All I can advice you is to have patience and have him walk just one day in your shoes!!!! Good luck to you!!!!! I sure need it!!!!

Ginger - posted on 01/24/2009

2

14

0

thank you to all that have replied. i appreciate everyone's input. i have been trying to find a job and well i just got offered a great position and i plan to start working in a week. hell then see what it is like to do the chores and the baby and our 9 year old. thank you again but i am excited to get back to work and we will see how things go from there. to be honest i think my husband was on his period last week. really.

[deleted account]

I'm so sorry for you.  I'm really blessed with my husband.  He would never tell me to get off my butt and go to work (without some serious consequences).  That is really disrespectful.  I have two children now but when our first was born I worked for the first 9 months.  I was lucky in the fact that I got to work 3 days from home and 2 in the office (and got to take her with me).  However, because it took longer for me to get my "job" work done because I was constantly interrupted with baby things, he was forced to help out with her and around the house.  He never complained but I know he was a lot happier when I quit to stay home with her.  He still helps out with baths, changing diapers and stuff but I do the majority.  I really am grateful for him and he's appreciative of me.  I think the fact that I leave him in charge enough that he understands a lot and even tells me he doesn't know how I get anything done around the house with a 1-year-old and 3-year-old.  So, maybe if you leave him in charge he'll get the idea that you are "off your butt and working."  

Megan - posted on 01/24/2009

48

9

11

I worked full time when my 1st turned 9 mon. When I got pregs w/ my second I went down to part-time then stopped because we moved and it was too hard w/ a toddler and being the size of a house. After my 3rd was born I went back to working 50-60 hours a week teaching out of my house. Had a nanny for awhile to try and help out. A year and a half ago I had to close up my studio because I got really sick. It took over a year to figure out what was wrong and now we contend with good days and bad days. While I don't suggest getting sick (I had 15 MRIs, 6 CAT scans, a spinal tap and a brain angiogram) as a way to get your husband to appreciate all that you do, try to let him do what you do for a weekend. Go to your mom's or sister's (Or SIL) house and tell him he gets to try to do your job. If he thinks that it is that easy you get a job and let him stay home. I've never known a husband to think that way after a weekend alone with kids but maybe he'll be the first. I know that there are stay at home dads out there.

Cathy - posted on 01/23/2009

8

3

1

I had back surgery 6 weeks ago.... My husband had to do everything!!!!! He told me he has a new found respect for me. He will never utter another word about what I do during the day. Oh ya, while I was in the hospital, My 4 yr old got an ear infection and screamed for 4 straight hours. My husband called me at the hospital and asked what to do. I told him to take our son to the doctor. He than asked ....."where is his doctor." I was on morphine, but I laughed so hard. I do not recommend surgery to get your point across, but there are ways!!! Seriously, he will not know how hard your job is until he has to be in your shoes for at least a couple of days. I tell people who have opinions of my job that it is truly the hardest job I have ever had. You are responsible for who your children end up being. You potty train and teach them their ABCs and 123s. You teach them manners. You help with homework, and you kiss their tears away. Then you still have the housework to do, and dinner to cook. God made us weaker in physical strength, but mightier in other ways. We are awesome!!! I speak for working moms to, by the way. I have been there too.

Nicole - posted on 01/23/2009

58

10

20

I am in the same situation as you, Ive been at home for over 2 years now and HATE it! It totally is about the adult interaction!! A few years ago my boyfriend and I had the same problem, he would complain that I didnt have to do anything all day, etc...I just explained to him that the reason our daughter is so good is because I spend ALL my time with her trying to teach her, and mold her. The rest of my time is spent cleaning the house, and sometimes things do pile up! Ive noticed that when I am depressed about the situation is when the least gets done! The best thing to try is to talk to him about it! If that doesnt get the point across then I would write down a list of all the things you have done during the day and show it to him, include all those dirty diapers, spilled cups that have to be cleaned up, anything that you do to keep the house running!! And if that doesnt work then I would stop doing anything (except for caring for your kids obviously!!) Show him what the kitchen floor looks like when it hasnt been mopped in a few days! I think sometimes its hard for them to imagine what we are doing when we are home, or its easy to imagine us relaxing all day because thats what they would rather be doing then working! You just have to get the point across that what you do IS work! And even if he never appreciates you for it, your kids certainly will!! Good Luck!!

Kelsey - posted on 01/23/2009

1

9

0

I am sorry you are having so many troubles.  I would first look into mommy and me classes through your community ed.  The community ed in my town has a sliding fee that is paid based on your income.    Also, try the library or a local church to see if there are any groups there. 



For your husband.  Don't do anything for a week and see if he realizes how much you do around the house.  You are going to have to put up with more criticism but you are already hearing it so what difference does it make.  At least you know the complaints may be true. 



Do you have family or friends close by?  Try to start a play group with other moms.  That would be free and you would get a chance to talk with other moms. 



I am so sorry this is happening.  Being a stay at home mom is one of the most misunderstood jobs.  I would love to be out in the workplace and having an impact on more people than a 2 and 4 year old but that is just not in the cards right now. 



I hope everything works out for you.

Stacey - posted on 01/23/2009

1

20

0

How about joining your local moms club-I belong to one and it is a great way to meet other moms that sare going through the same thin that you are. Go to Momsclub.org to find out more. I totally understand -I always feel like I do not contribut but honestly our husbands could not afford us if they had to pay someone for everything that we do. I totally love staying home but sometimes it is harder then going to work every day. My husband is a great help and I appreciatehim so much but tings would not get done if I just sat on facebook all day now would they! Good luck

Shannon - posted on 01/22/2009

2

21

0

Ginger,

OH girl you are NOT alone! We have 3 children. 1 7yr old boy 1 5yr old and 1 just turned 2 yr old girl......Now me - Prior Active Duty, United States Air Force....i have lived around the world, been to war 3 times, married with 3 kids, and now a stay at home mom! All of this before i turned 30 by the way. My husband and I met in the military you would think he met me bare foot and prego at 17 waiting to play servant to the first nice man....okay you know what i mean. First time ever i did not work was a little over a yr. ago. We had lost baby number 3 and we finally decided to try one more time....Surprise- i wanted another boy and we got a girl...with that being said my husband tells me for the first time ever - he wants me to be at home since the other 2 had to deal with "military life" and now we were back in civilian world... he wanted me to stay at home raise our children and adventually i could go back to work when ready. I HAVE BEEN GOING CRAZY! So, last yr. our daughter was a little over one she was done nursing so since i keep complaining to my husband about how difficult it is to do house work and raise 3 kids etc. etc. etc........ he told me one day - why don't you just go make some money! Guess what huney - I DID! Now it was at our local "wall-world"....but guess what it is 24 hrs. i could work part time at night from 9pm until 2 am...granted hrs sucked - but lets be real everyone knows mommy time is not until AFTER all is in bed asleep. I made a couple extra hundred bucks a month and still got to be home as a full time mommy....now i no longer work there BUT during this time my husband on occasion had to actually come home at a decent time so that i could get ready to leave.....which ment some nights he was stuck with bed times, dinner clean up, forgotten homework, things like this.....8 months later he got a pay raise at his job and begged me to stay home.



It was the second hardest thing in my life i had to do. the hours were killing me during the day so it was not very smart on my part....but....i loved going to work because it was MY time...yeah it was at a crazy place some night.....but the extra money i earned...i NEVER had to ask my husband for money for ANYTHING.



You will find your groove...stay strong for those babies and you will see....it will pay off soon enough. Good luck with everything and remember.... thousands of moms go threw this same struggle every single day don't be discouraged....just add it to your belt of super multi-tasking mommy! LOL good luck!

Sherryl - posted on 01/22/2009

4

10

0

he is out of order,it is a hard job staying at home and keeping it nice for your family and looking after children.Leave him for the week and see how he copes,he wouldnt do as well as you i'm sure

Rachael - posted on 01/22/2009

2

8

0

My husband is fantastic I have to say.....he is so understanding about what there is to do in a day and how easy it is to get interrupted by little people. I get up intending to do lots but it never happens! all I get done is load the dish washer and maybe hoover, the rest of the time is taken up looking after 4 children, 2 of them being at school and 1 at nursery and 1 at home, I find that most of my time is taken up with the school drop off's which are through out the day it seems. if I'm not picking up from school and nursery I am entertaining my youngest at home....who like interactions, she will go off and play on her own but i still have to keep an eye on her otherwise she is upto no good! and when this does happen its time for me to have a cuppa and a bite to eat, then when I've finished I think I'll get some jobs done but low and behold my daughter needs my attention for something again, round and round we go again!

My husband would make a great house hubby he is so up for helping anyway he can, he gets home from work and starts tidying up the clothes that are all over the floor and any toys he finds, I'm always telling him to stop and sit down and have a cuppa...he cycle's too & from work, 75 miles a week! But he is still wanting to help me :) After meals he will clear up and load the dish washer and put the kids to bed, he is such a blessing and I love him dearly. I think he is a rarity :)

I think you need to sit down with your OH and ask him why he thinks the way he does and ask him to stay at home 24/7 for a week while you go away for some you time with a friend. Your husband needs to realise how difficult it is to juggle the work load when at home with children, but be warned that the children will love having daddy to themselves and may do exactly what he says and he may well get the house spotless....for a few days until the kids decide enough is enough :)

[deleted account]

I am so sorry for your situation.  When my daughter was first born my husband went through a major health scare (we didn't know what it was at the time) but his personality was totally changed by it and his attitude was much the same as your husband's.  But you do work.  Taking care of your family is hard work.  It does sound like you wish you could work outside of the home.  First, you need to make your husband stop talking to you in that way.  It isn't right and if he does it in front of the kids it will affect them in a bad way.  Honestly, your husband needs to stop and see you as a worthy and equal person.  If he thinks you do nothing then stop doing anything for him.  Take care of yourself and the kids and just let him be.  Don't wash his clothes, don't cook for him, etc.  I'm tired of these relationships where one of the spouses treats the other one badly because one stays home with the kids.  We should reward the caregivers, not belittle them.

Michelle - posted on 01/21/2009

11

5

1

Oh sweetie I SOOO... SYMPATHY FOR YOU!  My husband is exactly the same way.  We have one child.  I was put on bed rest with my son when I was almost 7 mths pregnant.  I had miscarried before him and had gestational diabetes with my son and I was working a physically demanding job. 



I stayed home with my son until he was 2 mths away from turning 2 and decided to put him daycare and go to school.  That helped me get a littel adult interaction, but studying was brutal.  I am 4 classes away from my associates and had to stop because my finacial aide got messed up and I have to pay the school some money before I can go back and my husband always makes comments about me not doing nothing.  My SIL gave me an idea to not do anything for a week.  No laundry except neccessary, no cooking except for my son no cleaning, no taking out the trash etc.  My husband got PO'ed.  I looked him dead in the face and told him 'This is what happens when I really do sit on my butt all the time' and walked away and the next day I cleaned my house and told him 'This is what I do when YOU think I sit on my butt all day'  Let's just say the comments dwindle down a lot.  The only other thing I can tell you is pray.  Pray God give you the strength to do what you need to do everyday and the strength to keep your family happy and healthy.  Also I got involved in church.  It gives me something for me to do and I feel so awsome when I'm there and it's great for the kid's.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/21/2009

5

19

1

Staying home is not easy. I find it very rewarding but I really had to find myself a NEW network. I had a network of friends who were colleagues and when I had Andrew and stayed home I had to do the same thing. 



 



I belong to a fabulous mommy group (www.frederickmommies.com) and they have been my saving grace. I get up and get out of the house, they are there when I need to vent or someone to cheer me on. I cannot recommend it enough. Google search and don't stop until you find your niche.



 



As for your husband. I still find that my DH (who is very supportive) still thinks I have all the time in the world. The other night he told me it looked like I had been surfing the internet all day because I had updated my FB status three times. I WAS TICKED! I just have to realize there is no way for him to understand until he does it.



 



So what do I do? I ask him to respect me, and trust that I am working hard, even if he doesn't understand. If he is not willing at the time. I set boundries of what he can and cannot say with out consequences. His working FT and my SAH FT is apples to oranges. I worked FT. I know what life is like on both sides. I would not trade what I do but what I wouldn't give to have a bathroom break alone!



 



Hugs Mama, I hope you find the right balance for you. If that is returning to the workplace, or staying home. Being a mother is a 24 hour job no matter what!

Amy - posted on 01/21/2009

5

18

0

Hi, I know how you feel!!! That's exacly what my husband thought about me, and I only have one baby 10 months... One day I ask him to stay with the baby for 6 hrs, and gave him a list of things to do, like feed the baby, laundry clean the bathrooms get baby a bath and ready for bed, etc, things that we do, you know! and since he is super understanding if i do not get to do something!!! I try to do things through out the week and on saturday the bigger things like laundry and floor so he can see you working hard while he takes care of the baby! hahah It works, now he helps a lot!!! Hope this helps!

Allison - posted on 01/21/2009

4

14

0

Maybe u could suggest he stays at home witht he kids and you work full time-if u can find a job...see how long he lasts! though i noticed when my husband had time of work,i think he relised just how much there is to do-cause he was getting frustrated!!

Missy - posted on 01/21/2009

12

13

2

Have you looked into activities at your local library (Mommy and Me reading circles, etc.) or at a local Parks and Recreation location?  Also, many book stores offer reading circles too.  All for free.  Sometimes just getting up, getting dressed and getting out even if it is to go listen to some really bad teenager read Green Eggs and Ham for the thousandth time can lift your spirits.  And you may just find another Mommy out there who feels just the same way you do!

[deleted account]

You poor thing. I guess I should show more appreciation for my husband because he tells everybody that I have the hardest job staying home with our boys. Even on those days when I spend most of the time doing stuff on the computer and don't get anything done around the house, he never complains.



I don't really have any ideas for you. maybe one thing I would try is to REALLY do nothing for a few days and let him see what the house looks like then. Maybe that will be an eye opener.



In my experience, I decided to stay at home because by the time we paid for childcare for two kids, most of my paycheck would have been gone. I'm planning on going back to work once my youngest son is in first grade next year.



I know this response doesn't help, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I hope things work itself out for you.

Amy - posted on 01/21/2009

81

27

4

OMG, I can relate with you SO much Ginger. Your story sounds so much like mine. My name is Amy. Back in Feb of 2007 I was 8 months pregnant. I quit my job to well deliver and stay home with our then 8 year old and the new baby that was on the way. Since then we have had ANOTHER boy so we now have three boys. Anyway, I have been a stay at home mom now for almost two years now. I had always worked also. However I thought staying home would be the best thing ever and I do feel like that sometimes but other times I am so stressed because we have no money. Alot of times I debate whether to go back to work or not but I know I would miss the time with the kids so much. I

[deleted account]

My husband never made me feel guilty for not working, but I always made myself feel guilty about it.

Why don't you look into gpt sites? They're a way to bring in extra spending cash, my husband is thankful for me finding them.

I feel really bad for your situation, so if you decide to give it a shot, I'll show you all the ways to make the most money from it.

http://heyzelda.com

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms