Need Advice! I am running out of patience.

Maria - posted on 08/22/2010 ( 89 moms have responded )

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Ok. So I have really dug a hole for myself. Ever since my son was born (11 months ago) he has been sleeping with me. And for the longest time I liked it and didnt want him in his crib. I liked cuddling and his little baby arms holding me, but lately he has becoming more and more dependant on it. I am pregnant and could go into labor anytime now and I don't have time to lie down with him for hours during the day for naps and I dont have the patience to lie down with him for an hr at night for bed. So my question is how do I go about making him sleep in his crib? I don't know how long I should let him cry for. He would literally cry for hours if I let him but I dont want him getting stressed out of feeling abandoned. He will cry until he completely looses his voice. I dont know what to do.
I am 8 months pregnant and he has gotten so bad to the point that if I need to get up to pee during the night (or get up for anything) he will wake up and bawl his eyes out until i come back. This needs to change. I feel so bad listening to his pathetic little wimpers from his bedroom.

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Melanie Anne - posted on 08/22/2010

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Im sorry but i think you need to be tough on him and dont let him get his own way, leave him in his bedroom obviously make sure hes safe and comfortable and then leave him in his room to cry. he should soon tire himself out if he comes out of his room you should just put him back and dont talk to him. After a while his behave should improve. I hope this helps? x

Jenn - posted on 08/24/2010

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I never let my sons sleep in the same bed. I believe they should be in their own beds from day 1 to encourage the fact that they will be sleeping on their own when they get older. The only time they get to sleep with me is if they're extremely sick and need me during the night. I believe that you should use the "Tough Love" technique. Put your baby in his bed, rub his back and then say goodnight and leave his bed. Chances are, he'll get up and cry for you. Let it go for 15 min. If he's still crying after that, go in and lie him down, but do not pick him up or talk to him. Rub his back again and then leave. Keep the time to 15 min but no longer than that. You'll probably have to do this a few times during the night but you'll be on the right track to getting him to sleep in his own bed.

Brandi - posted on 08/22/2010

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I did the same thing with two of my kids. I see nothing wrong with it, you just need to make them feel secure when you move them to their own room or crib.. My son slept in my bed until he was 3yrs or 4yrs. When I wanted him to sleep in his room I would lay with him reading him bedtime stories. He would fall asleep and then I would leave and go about my night. My daughter still sleeps with her dad and I, she falls asleep in our room then we move her to her bed, of course sometimes she comes back..lol. What it comes down to is security, he needs security.. Make his crib his security blanket..favorite toys, blanket, read to him..put a rocking chair by the crib.. etc.. every child is different, you have to find out what works for you.. Good Luck..

Maria - posted on 08/22/2010

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Yea my second one will never sleep with me. I am learning my lesson with baby #1.

Jamie - posted on 08/24/2010

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Well, my daughter slept with us until her first birthday. Then we moved her to her own crib. We had an incredibly easy transition. What we did was moved her crib next to our bed (where they were touching) and put the side of the crib down (where there was no "barrier" between us). She slept in her crib next to me. She never cried. After a week, we put the side of the crib up where the was now a barrier, but she was still next to the bed. Again no crying. Then after a week we moved the crib about a foot from the bed. We allowed it to stay like that for a month. Then about 2 weeks ago we moved the crib against the wall furthest away from our bed. It has been SO, SO, SO easy! We have not had a single whimper or cry from her. In 2 weeks we will move her crib out of the bedroom and into her own room. I am not saying this will work for your baby. It is just what worked for my husband and I. Good luck!

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Gabrielle - posted on 09/19/2010

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Maria i did the same even though i knew i shouldnt let her sleep with me. I agree that you have to let him cry, that is how i got my little girl out of it. I too felt that she would cry for days but she didnt. If you want to do it, it needs to be done now. Bath him, feed him, read him a story what ever you usually do for bedtime do. Then put him in the cot, give him a kiss, story etc then leave the room. He will cry and believe me its heartbreaking, but remember its the best for him as you dont want him to always be dependant on you. After 10mins if he is still crying (which my little one was) go back into the room, make sure hes ok and has dummy (if he uses one). Leave the room again and keep repeating every 10mins. He will probably cry himself to sleep the first night. The second night he will cry and maybe the third. Once he knows that you are not going to give in he will stop and carry on going to sleep himself x

[deleted account]

I agree with you Toni, but I also know that there is no single solution for every problem. Good advice.

Toni - posted on 09/17/2010

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has he ever slept at anytime in his cot??start with day sleeps and use a controlled method for him if he hasn't.firstly you place him in his bed and do all the usual of putting him down without making too much fuss,then you leave the room.he will start to cry either as you leave or very soon after.you stand outside his door where he can't see you and wait 1 minute then go in.lay him back down again,and again make no fuss and walk out of the room.again wait 1 minute before going back in and do the same.this is going to take some patience for this to work but it does.you continue to do this maybe 2 times more then increase the time to 2 minutes,then 3 and so on till you are up to 10 or 15 minutes.what this does is allow him to understand that you are still there but won't come straight away but you are still there.this method is prescribed by some professionals to break the cycle.this will be tiring on both yourself and him in the early stages and require a lot of strength on your behalf not to go in before the time is up no matter how hard he is crying.it may seem cruel to some and maybe even to yourself but it does work if you are consistent.it is mostly caused by separation anxiety that he is crying.hang in there mate.

Crystal - posted on 08/29/2010

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i have a 7 week old son and from day one i never let him sleep with me as i know he will want to sleep with me all the time i knew this as my aunty has 8 children and the last two who are 2 and 3 have to sleep with her, its a battle you need to win, be persistant and let him cry till he learns that its your way or no way, slowly teach him that his bed is for him, maybe start be staying by his side while he goes to sleep but dont talk to him so he knows its bed time then as the week goes on start moving away from his bed till your completly out of the room hopefully then he will sleep on his own, this could be helpful or it might not but in your case anything is worth a try....

Christina - posted on 08/28/2010

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hi, I am Christina Kyranis from Athens, Greece. I was just reading your post. I am 36 and have two kids one girl 5 and a boy 5 months old. Now i know what you
re talking about sleeping with your kids is nice, but not very wise because later what happens is that when its time to go to their beds they don't want to. that can be very tiring for the parent, believe me i know. I did the same with my daughter, and it came to the point where she was sleeping with us every night. I was loosing sleep. So what i did was tell her that she could sleep with me when it was day time outside, but when it is night time she has to sleep in her bed. You have to be persistent in what you say, you cant say something then do another. and you have to do it every night. when he wakes up you say, "everything is okay now go back to sleep, and you take him back to his bed , you do this over and over, till he gets it. It took me about a month with my daughter. but she still asks to sleep with me and I say no, if you let them sleep with you just once then they'll ask for it again. so its very important to keep what you say. good luck.

Lisa - posted on 08/28/2010

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I actually had the same problem with baby #1. I slept with him in bed with me only because i had watched my daughter die in my arms, so I was deafly frightened of him dying too. I wanted to make sure I was there every minute of every day if something went wrong, but after awhile as he was almost one, I decided I was ready to put him in his own room, not realizing that babies are on some sort of soothing schedule that best fits them. This was my first one I brought home and I had no idea what I was doing and no one to help. But the thing that I did worked amazingly. I put his crib in my room, next to my bed and I was given one of those rotating disco balls with all the colors on it from Spencer's Gifts, plugged it in, wrapped him up and gave him his bottle and he stared at that thing til he fell asleep. of course i had to talk to him from my bed a once and a while, so he knew I was there, but I never removed him from his crib even if he was crying. The first few weeks were rough, but once he realized that I was still in the room and got comfortable with the lights and all, he eventually got used to sleeping in his own crib.....that was the first step. Next step was to get him into his own room. we had a pack n play and put that in his room and swtiched nite after nite between our room aand his room, or sometimes during the day, I would lay him down in his room to get him used to seeing his own room (they say babies get comfortable if their know their surroundings) anything I could do to get him to sleep in his own room or even sit up there and play wit his toys for like an hour or 2 a day, i did it. And sure enough a few days right before his first birthday, he not only slept all night long, but had no problems sleeping in his own room. I think the whole shebang took me like 5 weeks give or take. But its different for every child, so you may have better luck. With my second one, I actually got him to sleep through the night by putting him in his own room pitch dark, even darkening his window curtains and he's been sleeping through the night and in his own room since 3 months, and he's 11 months old now. Hope this helps ya out!

RACHEL - posted on 08/27/2010

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i went through the same with my second i ended up letting her cry it out the first night i went in every 10 mins or so and rubbed her back just 2 kinda let her know i was near then i would space it out a little more each night it took about 5 days but she would only need me once then would pass out and a couple days after the once i would just lay her down and say night night and she would muble baby talk and just sleep

Julie - posted on 08/27/2010

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Do what you need to to comfort him but don't take him out of the crib once you've put him in there for the night. If he cries for 2 hours and then you pick him up and give in then the next night when you put him in there he's gonna keep it up thinking if i just do this as long as yesterday she'll let me come to bed. It may take a couple weeks before he gives in without hours of screaming and then occasionally after that he will test it to see if the same rules apply. It's hard for him since he is so young because he can't rationalize what is going on. My heart hurts for both of you that he is so sad and I know your heart must break all night while he is upset...You are doing the right thing for him and your new baby. Be strong!...and try to resist the same urges with the new baby once he/she is a few months old.

Grace - posted on 08/27/2010

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I have a two year old that gives me hard time when it's bed time, and I stand by the crib and rub his back and sing twinkle star to him and he falls asleep within 5 to 10 minutes. Sometimes it dosen't work, but I keep it up until he falls sleep in the crib. I'll take time inbetween to sit down and keep coming back. He will feel reassured that your there and eventually fall asleep. Need to do it every night. Hope this helps! :) Your doing a good job no matter what! :)

Megan - posted on 08/27/2010

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i am in the same boat honey, except i am only 5 months pregnant,and mt19 month old has to sleep with me or i dont get any sleep at night,i am trying to get him to sleep in his toddler bed n his room with his 5 year old brother who also gets up in the middle of the night ands ends up in bed with me and their dad,i am so sick and tired of trying to get htem to sleep in their ownbeds in their own rooms. i know its my fault for starting them sleeping inthe bed with me when their dad was at work.but now he is on unemployment from getting laid off, and oh what a mess have i created!they wake up right when we try to move them in to their beds.we have no kind of sex life or intimacy,we cant evencuddle!so i am sorry i have no advice for u, but i just wanted u to kn ow your not alone honey!

Megan - posted on 08/27/2010

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what i do to my son when hes like that is check on him every 10 minutes and give him is pacifier if he didnt sleep with in an hour i let him out and play till he is worn out and crabby and put him back in the crib when hes crabby also i invested into baby gates so he cant get in trouble. All you can do is kiss him tell you love him but he needs to take a nap i try your best to let him cry it out he needs it or you will have two babies in bed with you, you already sound like you got your hands full and it doesnt sound like its going to get easier a little bit of tough love is what is in call .

Kali - posted on 08/27/2010

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ok you need to put him in his crib in his room the first week will suck the first day will be the worst, after the first week of letting them cry themselves to sleep they wont cry as long if at all, you just need to stick with it and give in to him esp with the new baby coming you should do this before you have the new one

Jen - posted on 08/27/2010

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You need to just leave him to cry, if he's in apin you'll know, but he's doing it for attention. You have to be cruel to be kind.. My Daughter has only been in my bed when she's ill or had a bad dream and she's 18 months old now.. I don't want to sound as though I'm having a go but he should of been in his own cot ages ago because now he is wondering why you don't want him in yours and he will feel abandoned if you don't nip it in the bud now. He won't hate you for it, he's still young to fully understand and it's not as if he'll resent you for it the future because he's not going to remember it.. My advice is, do your normal bedtime routine with him bath, milk etc.. and then put him in his cot.. If he cries you know yourself he isn't in pain as he was fine before you layed him down.. Don't say anything else other than goodnight and walk away.. It might take a few nights to get him into his new routine but he'll do it.. Good luck and sorry for sounding harsh.. x

Brandy - posted on 08/26/2010

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Hey I know there are a lot of posts here on this so sorry if someone has already suggested this. Here's what I did. #1 start a bedtime routine. Mine was bath, story and a song. #2 have him nap in his bed during the day, since he is going to cry this may mean putting him down 1 hour before his nap time. 3# At night, after you have done the nighttime routine. Get a chair sit beside his bed, every other night move the chair further from his bed. Until you are eventually outside of his door. It may take 2-3 weeks, but if you are adament and be strong and firm, not mean, it will work. Good luck Momma!!!!

Christina - posted on 08/26/2010

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I'm with the other moms that suggested putting him in his own bed in your room. Just put it right next to your bed. If he cries, you can lay there and pat his back to calm him down. When the baby comes, you can move his bed over a bit and put the bassinette by your bed. It will be a few months before the new baby is sleeping for long enough periods to go to a different bedroom. Then you can make a big production out of it and put the two of them in a room together (which is less scary than being alone). It might work...

Maria - posted on 08/26/2010

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LOL that is literally EXACTLY how my son is. its brutal. but the advice ive been getting from the moms on here is working... heartbreaking, but working good luck

Michelle - posted on 08/26/2010

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I told myself prechidren that they would never sleep in my bed, that changed. My 4 yr old now will go to sleep in her bed with me close by but we are getting there. On the other hand, my 3 yr old is still attached by the cord. She will not go to sleep unless both of her arms are around me like a hug and when I think shes asleep, I try and get up and she wakes up everytime. I think she like to have her hands on me so she knows when I am moving. She is way too smart! My girls sleep in the same room well kind of. So I cant leave her in there crying. I have no idea what to do with this.

Deborah - posted on 08/26/2010

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Eventually all will settle down, but you must try hard as the mums have said an perservere, because when baby no 2 arrives you will be in a very difficult situation, i have 4 children, the last two i am quite stern with when it comes to coming in my bed, the time i actually allow them is if they need a quick cuddle or if they are feeling unwell otherwise they know its their bed they are in, but you are going to need all the rest you can get an that is hard with a little one already use to sleeping with you, it will get better with time, keep it going, good luck with that an when the new little one comes...... x

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2010

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put him in his crib with a night light and let him cry. tough love:) believe me, no child had ever cried themselves to death.

Hailey - posted on 08/26/2010

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u nw i understand u want him to be on his own but y go with the cryin method i got my lil girl in her own room and didnt let her cry y nt sit there and hold his hand let him feel secure nt just leave him to get a sore througt !!!!

[deleted account]

It really won't hurt him psychologically for him to cry when you put him in his bed. It hurts us parents more to hear it. Check on him occasionally, pick him up and reassure him, but put him back in his bed. As for the second child to be, don't get into the habit of taking him to bed with you, except for nursing, unless you want another struggle. Personally though, I still let my children, ages 7 and 9, sleep in my bed whenever they want (along with my gf and sometimes her son, but that's another story for another community. LOL)

Rosanna - posted on 08/26/2010

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Hi ,maybe try leaving his bed room light on and tell him that its ok that mumy here .

Cristi - posted on 08/25/2010

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I know where you are coming from. When I had my son I loved letting him sleep wth me, then when he was 4 months old I got pregnant with my daughter so I figured it was time to put him in his own bed, we tried everything from letting him cry to sitting in the room til he fell asleep, finaly after months of trying my husband bought a toddler bed and put it in our room beside our bed,after a couple of long nights my son finaly stayed in his bed without crying, and after a few weeks we moved the bed into his room and he has slept in it since. Hang in there, whatever you decide to do will work it just may take time.

[deleted account]

with a new born they say to go back in after 3mins if they are still crying. but with him, i'd give it 10-15 mins to begin with, and then strech it out, you could also try giving him a comfort item, my son has a teddy that we gave to him when we took the dummy away. if you put him in his bed, tell him that it's bed time, give him a kiss, and leave right away, it's worse for both of you if you drag it out. then after some time go back in, don't pick him up, but settle him, i used to stroke my sons face or belly through the cot bars, when he is a little calmer say goodnight and leave, this shows him that you are not gone, but he needs to sleep in his bed. you could also make a big deal about it, like what a big boy he is now. one of the things to remember is that you can't be upset infront of him, because it makes them feel less secure. if you need a moment to get it together before you go in to him do it, or trade off with your man after a few goes to give yourself a break.

Cathy - posted on 08/25/2010

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wow, if he cries that long and that hard you will most likely need to transition him. Maybe start with one nap at the same time every day and always in the crib, then move onto the next when that works. There are a few books out there. The no cry sleep solution may be the best for you since he has no experience sleeping without you. Good luck.

Melissa - posted on 08/25/2010

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I know how you feel my son is 10months, A few months ago we was in a bad car crash and when he use to wake in the night i'd put him in with me, Now i'm trying to get him back in his cot and my god its hard he's like your son he doesn't just cry for a 10mins he crys for about 3-4hours non stop. In the end he will end up head butting the cot and hurting himself so I get him out and cuddle him till he falls asleep. We are moving him in to his own bedroom and hoping that will help. Keep up the good work I know its very hard and very upsetting on our behalf but i'm sure we will both get there in the end..x

Elizabeth - posted on 08/25/2010

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Maria, I am so glad to hear that ur making progress with ur daughter. Having gone through this I will tell you that when the new baby arrives it will be a change for everyone. Your daughter may stay right on track, which would be wonderful or may she may not......don't get discouraged ok.My daughter was doing great but took a few steps back when my son was born. I am still working with her on this but I know the time will come for both of them to sleep in their own cribs and I will have to be strong. And I agree with you, it is for their own good. You just have to do what works for you.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/25/2010

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Tracie I agree to an extent......I don't like the cry it out method but I don't think we should just give up. As first time parents it is normal to make these mistakes with the first child but we have to learn from them. Our second child sleeps in his playpen in our bedroom as he wakes up for a bottle at night. I even lay him down when I see he is tired and ready to sleep, at first he would fuss a little but eventually he would fall asleep. I have been doing this from day one and he has never ever been on our bed. Our daughter was the total opposite and I know we created the bad habits so we have top take responsibility. However, we will continue to have patience and find different ways to show her that it is ok to sleep in her own bed. In the end we want our children to know that we love them and we will be there always but we have to let go and allow them to become independent for the good of their own futures. If your continue to allow your children to depend on you so much, I am sorry to say but you are doing them a disservice.....just my opinion.

Kimberly - posted on 08/25/2010

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read ur status from yesterday :) good job!!!!!! he has to kmow mommy is in control

Kimberly - posted on 08/25/2010

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it is ok for him to cry, u might feel like ur neglecting him, but he'll be alright. lie him down in his crib with his favorite toy or something.....

Carla - posted on 08/25/2010

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Right the way i did it with my son was lay him down at bedtime pick a time and stick to it... put a music box or something on and leave for 10mins go back in and lay him down after the 10mins give bottle again and put the music back on... do this for an hour then start to get longer with the times,...
my son now go's to sleep within the 10mins and have only been doing it a couple of weeks... good luck,
Or maybe you could let him fall asleep on you or in the bed and take him to the cot once he is asleep, i done this also when getting him use to the cot as i feel if you put them straight into a cot from your bed in thier own room they will freak out be scared of going to bed, you need to introduce your baby and his room/cot, let him play in it each day/night for a bit so he gets used to it, then started putting him to bed in it...
Hope this helps

Bobbie Jo - posted on 08/25/2010

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well my daughter use to sleep with us in the bed too! I asked the peditrition and he said before u put her to bed u give her a bath and then lay her right down! Then if she cries u goin on the first day pat her on the head and say mommy and daddy are here and go out of the room and do that everey 5 min til she goes to sleep! The second day do the same thing but go in every 10 mins til she is a sleep! The third day the same thing but every 15 mins! And that is all it took! She sleeps in her own bed alnight long! every once in a blue she cries but hardly ever and she is 11 months old!! Good luck to u!

Heather - posted on 08/25/2010

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I dont know if it would help but you could try putting him in his crib with an article of your clothing that you have worn so he will have your scent next to him and also try some sort of soothing sounds device. I have a bear that plays the sound of the ocean that my son likes.

Casey - posted on 08/24/2010

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Possible try puttin a bed in his room next to his and sleeping with him in his room then slowing moving him into his opwn bed... our daughter used to cry for a bit when we put her in her own bed to fall asleep on her own we'd let her cry a bit then go in resettle her n put her back and so forth it took us weeks of not alotta sleep but eventually it worked... persistance and hang in there

Zatonda - posted on 08/24/2010

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I had that same problem, I allow all my children to sleep with me if they wanted, everybody turned end when the next baby came, I think they automatically understand, however my youngest will not be getting another brother or sister, so I still have that problems sometimes and he is nine, I let him stay til he goes to sleep which is pretty fast and I place him in his bed. they seem to grow out of it, he only ask every so often if he is scared or no one is upstairs. good luck I think he'll be more understanding when your baby is here, try a blanket on a floor, til you wean him.

Rachel - posted on 08/24/2010

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We have a two year old and a newborn. I am a very pro attachment parenting mama though, and they both still sleep in my room. We are just now getting the two year old to his own bed, but it is right beside ours. He gets his usual nightly snuggles though, and when he is ready for sleep, we have him move to his own big boy bed. Sometimes he cries for a few minutes, but usually not too long, knowing that we are still right there with him. We also let him pick out his new bed clothes (Elmo) and he feels very special sleeping in his big boy elmo bed. This may or may not work for you. I also feel like removing a child abruptly from that kind of security can be traumatizing to a child. So maybe it will take a lot of hard work with your extremely pregnant self (I've been there too!!) But I think that having a secure toddler in the long run is better than doing the quick fix. GOOD LUCK MAMA!!

Natalie - posted on 08/24/2010

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my friends son did exactly the same thing for 2 years so we went out shopping and he chose his own special toy that only he could sleep with and that worked a treat because now he sleeps by himself with no hassle

Maggie - posted on 08/24/2010

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cut it cold turkey. i know it sounds harsh but i had to do the a silimar thing with my daughter. i didn't have her in bed with me for that long but either way, it ended out the same way as it has for you. i was watching supernanny one night and the nanny just said to put them in the crib at 8 (or 9 whatever is bedtime in your house), and just let them cry. i have heard some people tweak this technique and sit beside the bed until the little one falls alseep and every night you get further and further from the crib until you are out the door.
it's going to take about a week (maybe less maybe more) and it is going to break your heart to hear him cry but it is better to do it now and get it over with before your little one gets here. you'll be so happy when you get to your goal.
good luck! i hope it all works out for you!

Rebecca - posted on 08/24/2010

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Oh dear sounds like your in a bit of a pickle there he has got to get used to sleeping on his own especially if you are close to pop lol why don't you try a bed side cot? i have just brought one from mother care, the cot has a few holes which the base slots in to so u can measuse his matress to the same height of yours, u can put the cot side down and under the cot easiluy so u can still have him close and cuddle him, whilst u are on your bed and he is on his then remove your arm when he falls asleep and put the bar back up that way he is getting used to the cot surroundings whilst feeling safe with u still next to him, it may take a few times of putting the rail up and down in the middle of the night but he will soon get used to it and it is meant to last till littlens 2 years old so that gives u plenty of time to get him used to sleeping on his own but still with u this cost me 180 ound and worth every peny! do your self a favour and put you new arrival straight in to a crib or moses cot as this is a cycle that is tough on both of u to change later and it can be really dangrous for a new born to sleep with u due to heavy covers, pillows and of corse yourself (although a mother always knows best so you do what you feel is best) i hope this helps x

Tiana - posted on 08/24/2010

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i feel yur pain!..i recently decided that it was time for my son to sleep in his crib all niqht...he cried so much...wat i winded up doinq is playinq with him in my bed nd den as soon as he rubbed his eyes i moved him to the rockinq chair nd i proceeded to rock him to sleep. this worked! i was so surprised nd since then he has not been sleepinq in my bed...i hope it work for yu as well

Kayleigh - posted on 08/24/2010

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I haven't read most of the replies to this but I have seen the first from Melanie and I have to say I totally agree with her. My son is only 7 months old but until a couple of months ago I kept him in bed with me every night too. It wasn't really a big problem but when he started sleeping through the night I needed to do things once he was asleep and the only way I could get him to sleep on his own was to make sure he was completely comfortable and safe and had a little light in the room and his dummy and leave him to it. He would cry for about 10 minutes and then I would go back in, settle him and put him back down and next time I would leave him for 15 minutes and go settle him. I never left him longer than 15 minutes and only that long if he was just whimpering (if he was all out screaming it'd only be 5 haha). And when he went to sleep he had worn himself out from crying and slept on his own all night. And it honestly took about 3 nights of it and then he was fine and now sleeps on his own every night. It's so awful and heartbreaking but you really do have to be tough and as long as they know that you're still there but that you aren't going to give in to their crying they (hopefully) should improve. I'm sorry I haven't got a better, easier answer but I really do think that this is the only way to break the habit.
Congratulations on your new baby =). I hope things go well for you =).

Maria - posted on 08/24/2010

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Also, i should add I am now on day 2 of independant sleeping, and it is easier than i thought. I have tried in the past, but kept going in to check on him every 5 - 10 minutes. for the past 2 days ive put him in and NOT gone back. Day one: Naptime he cried for 30 minutes. and Bedtime cried for only 6 minutes!!! Day 2: Naptime cried for 5 minutes!!! i cant believe it never occured to me to try this, dont look back approach. its still so sad to initailly walk out of the room with him crying, but it is going awesome, so thank all you Moms so much. mostly everyone (except 2) LOL gave me awesome advice!!! i love this website =)

Maria - posted on 08/24/2010

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Tracie, i obviously realize that now. that is my whole point. And no im not going to let him keep sleeping with me and i'm definitely not going let #2 sleep with me. Im not kicking him out because its convenient for me. it is also best for him. his sleep cycle in my bed is forever disrupted. like i said i wake up all night long to pee or get a drink etc. and he wakes up everytime i get up. Also when the newborn is here, she will be waking him up every 2 hours when she needs to eat. it would be selfish of me to let him continue sleeping in my bed, just because i dont have the balls to listen to him cry for a week. you make mistakes as a parent, and that doesnt mean that you just ignore them and continue on that way forever if its unhealthy for your child. You have to correct it. thats what parenthood is all about. But thanks for your input anyways.

Jules - posted on 08/24/2010

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I let both of mine sleep with me until they were about six months then started putting them in their rooms. My eldest has the strength of an ox when it come to crying and she will cry until she loses her voice over anything! we control cryed her for night time. put her to bed say goodnight then leave. go back after five minutes of screaming then lie back down say its night time. then extend time between visits (will be long process) but will get better! we called it hell week!

Mackenzie - posted on 08/24/2010

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I have some advice . . . it might sound tough but you need to put him in his crib, if you had a certian blanket that you two cuddled with, put that also in the crib with him. This is going to be very hard for you. He will cry and scream for you for the first bit. The crying is what got to me when my daughter didn't want to sleep in her bed. But the crying cut down from an hour to 30 min and then 10min and now she sleeps with little to no fight for me.

It will upset you, but remember that you were always with him. . .I also put a little radio in my daughters room with a bob marley cd. I wish you the best of luck and hope this helps a bit.

[deleted account]

I had a hard time with my son also. One thing that help him was i stayed in his room till he fell asleep and gradually moved away from his bed. I know this will be harder for you since your pregnant. But the only thing else to do is let him cry and I know that stinks too. But it will be so much harder when the new baby comes. Be strong and tell yourself it will be better for all of you in the end. Hang in there. :)

Darby - posted on 08/24/2010

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Okay, crying it out does not hurt them. Yes, it's painful to listen to, but it doesn't last forever and they certainly won't remember it. She is asking for help, not condemnation for wanting to change. Co-sleeping works for some families, not all. I did not allow any of my 4 children to sleep with me past 6 weeks. They were in a bassinet or moses basket for the first 2 months and in their crib from then on. Between 18 months and 2 years they transition to a toddler bed. There are going to be TONS of lessons our children are going to need to be taught...not all of them will be pleasant. Learning to sleep in their own bed/own room is one of them. It is up to us, as their parents, to find the best and most effective solution to make the transition as easy and less traumatic as possible. I think Jenn Black's response was also a good solution. That is also something I've had to use from time to time with 2 or 3 of my children when they've had their 'I don't want to sleep' issues.

Tracie - posted on 08/24/2010

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AMEN to HAileys comment...first one of reason. all these be tough make him cry it out...bunch of crap. you TAUGHT him it was ok to sleep with u for your OWN personal satisfaction, now that its not convenient for you you want him to have to suffer. are you going to let the new baby sleep with u and just let ur other little one suffer? both my kids still sleep with us, yes it is hard, but they are only little once. you chose to let him learn to count on u to be there, if thats not what u wanted then u should have taught him to sleep on his own from day 1

E - posted on 08/24/2010

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Maria:

what needs to get done will hurt you more than him, but you need to do it now....just put him down for naps/bedtime, and close the door... I know, it's horrible, but you need to do it....

he is used to your smell - that's why he likes your bed, so you can always try what I do when my girl needs to sleep outside of our home, like hotels ect,... I spray the pillow or the blankets with my perfume.... it does the trick!!!... you can also give him your pillow (which smells like you) or the gown you used the night before.... that will help him feel safe .....

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