Need help/advice with 6yr old son is testing his limits don't know what else to do!?!?

Joenn - posted on 03/17/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My 6yr old pushes until he sees has pushed someones button and when we punish him it goes just for that night and we are back to sqaure one. He just started smiling at us and not taking our talks serious as well. For example yesterday he hit his sister and we went to have a firm talk and punish him he smiled at us as if it was a joke! I just wanted to scream. Any advice? We have already taking his games and favorite toys away...

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Mandy - posted on 03/18/2010

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I have a 6yo too. He is always picking on his sisters which I have realized is because he is a boy. I guess I just realize that it's going to happen even if I have a talk with him or not. I just have to make sure he is busy at all times and then he has less of a chance to cause some sort of trouble. His sister screams which just drives me nuts so I just end up separating both of them and try to figure out something constructive that they can do and not do it together. I still make my 6yo have a rest time everyday after school and this really helps him. If there are behavior issues, especially being disrespectful, consequences will be extra chores, and increased rest time and possibly even going to be earlier. This all seems to be helping us.

Erica - posted on 03/17/2010

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Time outs are the key, i swear! it really works. If he is really bad then he will test your patience with him. the kew is to last one minute longer than him. Make a designated spot in your house that is the naughty spot and when he acts up, he gets three warnings and then put in the naughty spot. It will be alot of work in the beginning but once he sees that you dont give in, he will listen better. Let me know if that helps any!

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Janine - posted on 03/19/2010

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Hey Joenn, I can definately sympathise with you. My son was diagnosed with ADHD & Aspergers Syndrome..... Although I've done a lot of research I really don't think he has the Aspergers, just some slight symptoms. Little boys can drive you insane. You could try a water sprayer in his face when he is back talking.... that has helped. Whatever you do, please do your reseach b4 giving any meds like ritilin, prozac if your doc prescribes them. My son is now working well on Fish Oil and Calcium tbts and some others. If your sons pupils are enlarged then he may be really lacking in calcium, thats what a naturapath pointed out and its worked:).... email me for more info.. nene_sisca@yahoo.com

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Oh wow hun, My 5 year old pushes me sometimes too, she was doing it almost all the time for a little while. To get her to take me serious, I had raise my voice a bit, be firm & most times I had to smack her butt. She listens a bit more now. Normally taking things away from them works...You could try doing what we have done with our 3 & 5 year olds. We bought a chart & bought gold stars. We are doing it for different things for both of them, but what you could do is say, For every day that you listen/be good/stay out of trouble we will put a gold star on your chart & at the end of the week, if you have all your stars we'll take you here or take you there, just find something you can reward him with. That may work. It's been working fairly well for our kids. They like the thought of being rewarded for doing something good and with it starting to get nice out, it's perfect :) Like for instance, the kids have done good this week & we are taking them for ice cream & to see deer & to play on the playground tomorrow :) I hope it works out for you hun, I know how frustrating it can be.

Nichelle - posted on 03/18/2010

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wow this is different for me. i have a 6yr. and i guess b/c we've popped her here and there, when she has those moments when as i say to her "lost her mind" if i mention time out..shes screaming no nonono..and straightens up right then and there. the question i have to ask you guys do they act like this when daddy is around? or if he's even in their lives? b/c ive noticed that my kids will listen to me until a certain point, my husband takes over and its like they shape up. its like the firmness of the males voice makes them listen..idk its weird..but after a while time outs dont work as they start getting older. yes having mulitples is hard..i have five under 6...but talking to them when theyre in their mode will calm them down. BUT THEN AGAIN SOME KIDS JUST NEED TOUGH LOVE.. make him do things you know hes going to hate. like if he has a tv in his room, dont send him to his room, make him sit in the dinning room and read a book. or mom you just might have to sacrifice your time a lil extra and play a game with him or something. my husband has given our older kids "tough love" i dont care how other people feel but you have to everynow and then spank your kids to me it shows them that youre not gonna get over on me you do this this is what you get. b/c in the end when they get older youre gonna be wondering why they doing some of things theyre doing. my siblings do it my parents now and shes calling me asking me what to do. i told her well somethings you shouldve nipped in the butt before it started, and since you didnt this is what you got so i cant help you. if you keep going lightly, youre gonna go insane..and i know this b/c of experience on both sides, being the child and being the parent of a child who tries..

Andrea - posted on 03/18/2010

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One thing I have found to help with upset kids is to spend 15-30 minutes alone with them. Once you have multiple kids it's hard, but they need to know that they're important and individuals, not just part of the group. Try taking him for a walk or doing something he enjoys on a Saturday, just the two of you, and maybe he'll be more responsive to you during the week. Hope you find something that works ~ it's a tough age!

Nicole - posted on 03/17/2010

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I know how you feel!! My 7 yr old daughter is doing the same thing. I feel like time out, taking away special things and "talks" are getting us nowhere. She is talking back and being so rude lately. I did come up with one good punishment that seemed to work the few times I have done it. I make her write out what she did wrong 10-25 times (depending how long the sentence is) For example if she talked back or said something mean she would have to write ....I will not talk back and say mean things. It has seemed to work maybe because she is writing it so much it is in her head. I also like to use bible verses to write so she memories them. Hope this helps! I know it is so frustrating and sometimes I think they know that we are frustrated and it makes they not obey us more! Oh also as hard as it is try not to get upset and yell. Just do one, two, three....okay this is your punishment. Don't argue with them or yell....just give the punishment.

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