need help and input over custody

User - posted on 07/25/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I was married to my daughters father for 7 years (was a very horrible marriage)
we split up and a year later the divorce was final... so that was 2 years ago.. We have joint custody of our daughter who is now 4 1/2. I have primary care of her and he get visits. he lives out of state.. I live in KY he lives in DE. (900 miles away) he has tried to obtain custody of her since the divorce and has tried everything in his power to get her, yet she still lives with me because I am not unfit.

In the mean time I of course have moved on with my life. I have had a boyfriend for 10 months, he is a great guy and he has a 10 yr old daughter and my daughter gets along with both of them very well.
My boyfriend and I have been talking about moving in together, we both decided that we do not want to get married yet. If ever.
I was told that because we are not married and if my daughters father finds out and pitches a fit about it like he probably will, that I will probably loose my daughter.. is this true?

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4 Comments

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Angela - posted on 03/29/2011

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No this is not true. Not in any state. At most he can do is get more visitation.

Maura - posted on 07/26/2010

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I guess I would consult your divorce agreement and a lawyer first. Every state has different laws. For instance, if your custody agreement says you will raise the children Catholic, then he would have grounds if you "lived in sin." I doubt that you would lose your daughter, but I do think you should get sound legal advice. (And never tell your child to lie about it or hide it...that could be grounds). Good luck. It would be nice for you to really move on.

Christina - posted on 07/26/2010

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Ditto to what the first poster said! This is absolutely WRONG! It doesn't matter if you have a bf or not, if you're married or not, the only thing that matters is that your daughter is safe and living in a fit househould. That is what a Judge will look at in deciding custody.

Rachel - posted on 07/25/2010

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NO!!! this is not true! the only way he could take your child away from you was if he could prove that you, or the boyfriend are unfit in anyway. you dont have to legally marry someone to keep your child, whoever told you that doesnt have a clue of what their talking about, with all do respect. I hope happiness for you and your family, and dont let a jerk keep you from being happy =)

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