Needing advice on childs teacher is she singling him out or...

Ashleigh - posted on 06/06/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

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hi all...

i am a rather shy person but i try my best for my son
my son is starting to complain about not liking his teacher and she isn't coming to me for anything yet i see her talk to the other mums all the time and even call out to them before or after school to have quick chats about things there child may have done or what not.

so...

basically winter hit and my son came home and said his shoes had gotten wet at school and Mrs X said he should bring spare's.
this is where my problem started... so I pack his regular shoes and put them in his bag for during class. i put gumboots on him to wear to and from school and also during lunch and recess.

now rather then pulling me aside in the morning or after school she singled my child out and told him off for the boots. yet she had told him to bring spare shoes for when its raining...
then we had an issue with pants and again rather then contact me she told my son off in front of other kids.

now the latest issue is show and tell. a girl in my sons class had brought one of those beanie baby Mc Donald's toys for her show and tell and my son got excited and asked if he may take his Mc Donald's ninja turtle toy for show and tell. hearing about the other girl showing the class her toy i didn't think it would be a issue so i allowed it and when he came home he said "Mrs X said i wasn't aloud to show my toy because it was from Mc Donald's.... now i'm starting to feel like Mrs X may just be singling my child out?

so i have messaged Mrs X to arrange a time to talk to her and i received a very hostile call from her saying well i guess i can fit you in for 15 minutes after school... any advice or an outside opinion would be much appreciated.

this will be my 1st one on one with Mrs X and i already feel like she doesn't like me or my son just by the brief call i received from her. may i add she called me off a mobile number, is that normal?

3 Comments

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Tiffany - posted on 06/15/2017

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Thank you for sharing your concerns. I am a teacher, and I frequently call parents from my cell phone. I would approach this meeting very casually, even though you may have some serious concerns. I am an introverted person, and one thing I do when I need to meet with other people is write a small post-it note of bulleted points I want to address. This helps to keep me focused on why I am meeting (and personally not to allow my emotions to take over). I would also ask her preferred method of communication ... maybe she doesn't mind texting with parents. (I do this frequently with parents who work jobs with lots of meetings.)

As for the hostile call, I would just assume she had a rough moment, as we all can be prone to do.

I think this meeting will be helpful to see the difference between a child and an adult's perception of reality. (As posted by Dove below.)

You can do this!

Dove - posted on 06/08/2017

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Also... if you are shy it is entirely possible that the teacher is not interacting much w/ you because there isn't a reason from her perspective to 'complain' about the issues that your son is bringing up (again, child's perception vs adult perception can be completely different) and she is interacting more w/ these other parents because THEY are interacting w/ her and she has developed more of a relationship w/ them.

Dove - posted on 06/08/2017

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Calling from a cell phone is completely normal. I'm not sure about the rest. It is possible that your son's perception of reality is not a totally accurate representation (not calling your son a liar... just speaking from experience on my own child's perception of things vs the total reality of them). It is also possible that she responded to you when she was rushed or stressed and not that she was being hostile.

I would just calmly address your concerns letting her know how your son has perceived things and wanting to get it from her point of view since a child does not always understand where an adult is coming from when they say things.

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