New mum, Unsettled baby. HELP!

Tracey - posted on 06/25/2010 ( 82 moms have responded )

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I'm a new mum and have a very unsettled baby. Jye was born 13th of june and he cries almost constantly. we've tried feeding him (he will down 150mls of pumped breastmilk every 2-3 hours no problem), burping him (he burps easily at half way and at the end of feeds), holding him (seems to put him to sleep as long as u pace with him but as soon as u put him down he wakes), entertaining him (he has the attention span of an ADD child lol i dont know if thats normal for most newborns), laying him on a blanket with us in the lounge room, puting him in his bouncer.. there have even been times where we have let him cry in his cot because we are lost for things to do and both of us are getting upset.. Daddy is busy with work and such in the morning so i have to fend for myself. I cannot pace the house with him because i have back spasms for no apparent reason and can only carry him for a minute at a time b4 i back starts to hurt majorly. i have a physio appointment in july but it upsets me that i cant calm my own son down. does anyone have any suggestions as to why he may be unsettled so often. he sleeps fairly well at night.

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Renae - posted on 06/27/2010

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Hi Tracey,

I think I have read all of your posts. It does sound like your baby has colic.

I want to clear up a few things:
Colic can start any time up to about 6 weeks.
Whoever told you babies settle down at 6 weeks should not have said that, MOST babies improve between 8-12 weeks. Colic usually clears up at 12-14 weeks but can last up to 6 months. Reflux clears up between 6 and 18 months and can start as late as 8 weeks.

You need to see the physio about your back (why are you having to wait so long?) I also have back problems so I completely understand where you are coming from. Also see your doc and ask if there are any muscle relaxants that are safe to take while breast feeding.

Your baby is not trying to see how quick you jump to him - he is not capable of that even if he is the smartest newborn in the world. And yes it is normal for him to have a 3 second attention span.

Have you been told about growth spurts? You mentioned it seems like he wants to feed every hour. Hourly feeding is common at 3, 6 and 12 weeks when they have growth spurts and usually lasts 24-48 hours. The frequent feeding is baby's natural way of increasing your milk supply so that you make more milk for them after their growth spurt and they can go back to 3 hourly.

Can you not swaddle him because you can't bend, is that it? How do you change his nappy? Do you have a high bench so you dont have to bend? Can you lay him on there while you swaddle him?

You absolutely need to see a public / child health nurse at the clinic. You need to be shown a few other ways your baby can be held (you may not be able to do it but you can show hubby and grandma), ask about the colic hold.

Have you been informed about making sure he doesn't stay awake too long? Overtiredness is very common in unsettled babies. At 1-6 weeks they need to sleep after 30-45 minutes of being awake. Google "newborn tired signs" to learn how to tell when to put him to sleep or ask the nurse about it. If you try to put him to bed but he suddenly seems perky and wanting to play - this means he is OVER tired and you waited too long to put him to sleep. By 12 weeks they can usually stay awake for 45-60 minutes at a time. By 4 months they can be awake for 45 min to 1.5 hours. Babies often need their first nap of the day very soon after waking up. A newborn may feed and go straight back to sleep or only stay up for 15-20 min. By 4 months they usually need their first nap after 45 min.

Remember that babies are basically a little ball of instincts. They are not capable of making decisions or doing any deliberately (for the first few months especially) they respond instinctively to the world around them and especially to the things they feel going on inside their body. They dont understand what they are feeling, they just know that it isn't good so their little brain reacts by crying to alert the caregiver.

I think a trip to the nurse will be very helpful. In my experience they are very good at identifying colic and reflux. Try to see one with lots of experience if you can.

Let us know how it all goes.

PS I'm glad he is sleeping fairly well at night!

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Are you feeling anxious or unsettled? (that's a silly question to ask a new mommy, I know) Babies can pick up on our feelings. Think, what makes you calm? Music? A nice candle? A bath? Okay, calm yourself down. Then calmly focus on him. Sing or play classical music for him. I've heard people say that lavender baby lotion can help. (never tried it) Does he get upset when you sit down? Try a rocking chair or massage chair.

Something else to think about. What are you eating that could get into the breastmilk? Sometimes babies are sensitive to milk products, tomatoes, and gassy foods like broccoli.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will get better!

Ashley - posted on 06/30/2010

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He may have acid reflux. Many new borns do. My son did. Proping up the head of his bed will help if he does. Also I got Mylicon gas relief drops. They help with reflux too. Some babies have it so bad they need to go on real medicine, but this is so mild it's over the counter and can be used every night. My son did really well once we did these things:
Never lay him down right after eating - in fact, since he is bottle fed, prop him up like he is sitting to feed him too. Then keep him upright on your shoulder or in your lap (like he's sitting) for 20 minutes, even if he falls asleep.
Prop his crib or bassinet mattress head up. So he is never lying flat. If you put him on the floor, etc. Put a small pillow under him so his head is above his stomach.
Try the mylicon.
Talk to doc.
Good luck.

Vicki - posted on 06/25/2010

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Oh and in my opinion babies may seem to be pushing your buttons on purpose but they are just telling you there is something they need. Even if its just being held and comforted. :)

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Maxine - posted on 07/02/2010

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Hi, have you had the doctor do a thorough check up on him? constant crying could signify some type of pain.... it could be some sort of infection like bladder infection or something.... you never know...better get him checked just to be on the safe side...
good luck

Jessica - posted on 07/02/2010

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Try wearing him in a wrap, i liked mama kanagroo b/c it holds them very tight & very close to your body, When i put my 25 pound baby in it i'm fine, it doens't hurt my back whereas my eddie bauer carrier does. but that might not be possible b/c of your back. also, rule out that he doesn't have acid reflux. My little guy had it & screamed non-stop & only wanted me.
Try a baby swing, it might take some time for him to learn to like, but after that he'll be in heaven in it.

Sarah is right, you do need to be calm, i know it is hard, my first son would scream all day with me & the minute my husband would walk thru the door I'd hand him off to him & he'd stop immediately. Rocking & singing also work wonders.
good luck, take a deep breath, it does get easier.

Lee-Ann - posted on 07/02/2010

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I just want to add that your story sounds identical to my son (2nd child) so i completely understand how you feel. not saying your son has the same problems as mine, who knows, maybe, but just letting you know that i understand. I was certain i could find that 'miracle' cure for him be it through changing formulas ( i too had to give up feeding by 3 wks due to milk supply drying up, we supplemented night feeds by day four as mistook his soothing for hunger etc), using infacol, gripewater, gaviscon for infants, goats milk, you name it i tried it, in the end i ask to be referred to a pediatrician who then trialled us on Neocate ( as i have a dairy intolerance and so did my daughter) to see if his reflux was allergy based or physical (delayed muscle development) the formula's made no difference so now we are on ranitidine (since 7 wks) which allowed him to actually fall asleep, but then he only cat napped for 30mins at a time. I chopped and changed formulas so much that i upset his tummy so, in a long winded way what i'm trying to offer is to not change his formula too soon, give it a good week, it is common for wee bubs to get constipated on formula at first as it is a new food to their immature digestive systems, breastmilk is predigested so is easier on them. Unfortunately the easier to digest formulas (such as those with partially hydrolised whey etc) are generally thinner, so if bub does have reflux, the down side is it comes back up their pipe easier. oh look at me i've written far too much. I say, if you're finding it a real battle, go see a pediatrician, it's worth the money and saves a lot of guess work. It's a long haul but it does get better. just take one day at a time.
Also for yourself, as you are no longer breastfeeding, get some 5-HTP tablets and spirulina capsules, they are a great combination for renewing your mental balance and nutrient loss that sleep deprivation, stress, and anxiety can cause. It will help you feel calmer and more confidant in yourself which will help bub feel more settled in you arms.
you are doing a great job and obviously care very much about your son, he's lucky to have you and though you may not feel it some days, you are THE most important thing in his world.
All the best. :)

Luschka - posted on 07/02/2010

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One thing to remember is your baby can't manipulate you - under two years of age a needy, clingy baby is one that needs his or her mommy (mine has been up since 3 am - it's just one of those things!)

I would definitely consider colic or reflux.

If you're feeding from a bottle, perhaps try a different bottle? I know the Dr Brown ones are mean to be good for stoping colic.

With my daughter I started putting her on her tummy when she was awake. It led to loads of super funny farting, but got all the gas out and after the first week the colic stopped straight away. She has always slept more comfortably on her belly than on her back and I know that's agaist 'regulations' but there are also studies that say that is wrong and SIDS has nothing to do with lying on the tummy. I can't comment to that as I'm not a doctor, but it is worth considering. My daughter (and many others I know) has always slept on her belly and has no colic (although she did in the first week!)

Also, if it's reflux, consider the angle you're feeding at, and again, try changing the bottles.

good luck!

Lisa - posted on 07/01/2010

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Both of my kids have reflux...sounds like that might be your problem. Ask the doctor about it, it can cause sleep disturbances and frequent crying. I have found that mylanta helps, it doesn't stop it but it makes it not burn. It also helps with gas, ask your doctor. Keep the baby inclined for at least 30 minutes after feeding and you might try a wedge for the baby to sleep on to lessen it. Good luck and hang in there no matter what is causing it it gets better.

Ebby - posted on 07/01/2010

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You've already started your christmas shopping?! AHahahah. Wow. :D I'm concerned you might have anxiety and nerves he is picking up on, babies are very intuitive people, like when I had some friends who had never held a baby hold mine, they would cry as soon as they held them, he might just be a very intuitive high needs baby and your relationship will grow as he grows with that bond forming over time and you becoming more comfortable with yourself. Also when you say "Sometimes I wonder if I'm good enough to be a mum" says you may be postpartum (I had it, I found talking with people helped more than the meds, now I take natural remedies for my anxiety rather than prescription and I'm much better now) and might want to have some talks with the public health nurse, someone who can help you get your confidence up. Not all women birth babies and just fall into that maternal bliss, its damn hard work, giving up your body, your independence, your sleep, your sense of self, your boobs to feed, everything, becoming a mother is a trip... but its a beautiful trip if you just relax, don't over analyze it so much. All of us have different ways of doing things, some people sleep train and let babies cry it out when they are trying, some people think its abuse to let babies cry at all, some people constantly hold their babies, some people refuse to hold their babies all the time so that they wont be dependant on that closeness/movement all the time. You find what works for you, what makes you happy first, because if mommy isn't happy, NOBODY is really happy. Cheers, all in due time... and I just want to say one thing, if you think he's challenging now as a newborn, you haven't seen anything yet. ;) Trust me. :D Find someone who you can vent on that doesn't have a biased opinion with lots of experience (ie nurse) everyone has their own opinions, but a health professionals opinion is the most balanced and safe method.

Tracey - posted on 07/01/2010

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Sometimes he only cries in the morning. other times he doesnt. this morning because daddy did an extended time with him feeding him and such, he was calm all morning and is still settled by midday. I tried to go out last night with a friend and we did some xmas shopping and such but as soon as i got home he started acting up again and i started getting stressed again. He is on formula now because i've started drying up and its hard to keep up with his feeds and i heard u can make bubs unsettled by chopping and changing foods back and forth each day. (for the last 2 days we were doing breastmilk during the day and formula at night) tho i think the formula might be starting to constipate him so i might have to check out another formula until i find what he digests best. The nurse told me that because i am lactose intollerant there is a small chance he could be too (i swore it wasnt genetic and still do now) so we will get that checked at the doctors appointment next week. i will take into account the checking tummy hardness idea. I've tried rubbing his tummy and he doesnt like it at all. I still think he is a very gasy baby so i've started on infacol but that wont help constipation. i wish i could keep going with breastmilk but my body cant keep up with him. I would rather try different formulas than using a treatment for his bowel movements. Would Marina Infant Mixture help for the constipation? we have it at home but the first time we used it for his wind he got a bad case of the runs and i dont want the poor dear to get dehydrated.
Yes sometimes i wonder if i'm good enough to be a mum. But then i reassure myself that everything is fine as long as daddy is there and it will all pass in time.

Sara - posted on 07/01/2010

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I'd guess colic (is the crying the same time each day?), reflux (does he spit up a lot?), or an allergy (lots of gas?). Make an appt with the pediatrician mama, it'll soothe your worry!

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Man those first few weeks are rough hey? Apparently most babies go through a really fussy period from about 4-8 weeks. I know my son did. He would cry endlessly and nothing I did seemed to help. Sometimes gripe water would calm him down. Other times giving him a bath and then singing to him in a rocking chair worked. You've just got to get through this rough couple of weeks and I promise it will get better. Tons better. Hang in there friend!

Sharon - posted on 07/01/2010

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Well, most people would tell you your baby has colic and you just have to live with it. Not true. Your baby likely has a lactose allergy. If you are still breastfeeding, try removing milk products from your diet. In about 2 weeks you should start to see a difference. If you don't, try removing soy products from your diet. If your baby has switched to formula, buy "Lactose Free" formula. I can't remember which company makes it, but one of them does. I used to buy it at Target. It will say "Lactose Free" in big letters on the front of the label.

Renae - posted on 07/01/2010

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Hi Tracey,

I have just come back to this conversation and read your last couple of posts.

You are right when you say that colicy babies cry because of pain and they do usually cry no matter who holds them. I didn't realise when I posted before that your baby calms down for your husband and other people.

You should definately discuss this with the nurse (you may have already seen her by the time you read this). Babies can absolutely sense what you are feeling and the more stressed you are about not being able to calm him, the more stress he is sensing from you.

Are you able to leave the baby with your husband or a trusted relative and go and spend an afternoon catching up with a good friend to talk about how you are feeling (especially a friend who is also a mum)? I do think there is something to be said for the fact that he settles with his dad. Is dad able to take some time off and be at home with you and the baby for a few days and share the responsibility of caring for baby so you can relax and enjoy your husband and new baby?

I hope the nurse has some good advice for you. Let us know what happens. All the best.

Tamara - posted on 07/01/2010

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Sara Hopkins.. your reply is perfect! it is very true that babies pick up on emotions of their caregivers and become stressed. and also about your diet when you are breastfeeding really is important..well done:)

Tamara - posted on 07/01/2010

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oh dear that awful colic strikes again! If you cant carry him try rocking him in a chair. Does his stomach tighten up and does he seem in pain..if so he may have gas. My son did and I used to give him infant gas drops and held him belly side down and rubbed his stomach in a circular motion to get things moving along. also try recruiting a family member or close friend to help you either with the baby or around the house. Right now you need to ask people to help, being a new mom itself with out a colicky baby can be stressful and overwhelming. hope it gets better for you soon.

Lyndie - posted on 07/01/2010

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My daughter was like that when she was first born, she wouldnt go to anyone, she wouldnt sleep in the afternoon and at night was a nightmare she would sleep for 30min then back up. My daughter was breast fed so it was a case of feeding and she would fall asleep but the min i put her down she might have 10-15mins and that was her back up, same at night i would feed till she fell asleep and the min i put her in her bed she was awake again, i was exasted. A midwife told me though that she was probably stressed and scared and to put a t-shirt i wore for a couple of hours in her bed so she still had the smell of me....and since that she was so much better at sleeping, the only problem i found was during the day for the first month she wouldnt settle but i pulled her buggy out and sat her in that and would put the baby channel on on the telly and the music would settle her all i had to do was wheel her to where i was busy and she would be fine she would be fine sitting with the music on and watching me do dishes and house work...It helped so much, but i would def suggest trying the t-shirt trick and see how he goes

Melissa - posted on 06/30/2010

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I heard that skin on skin contact ( naked baby resting on skin of mom or dad) will help settle a baby. Let dad try it too. I'm due to give birth in a few days with my second and I plan on giving this a try.

Kayleen - posted on 06/30/2010

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oh, sweetie. it will get better. my oldest was coliky for 6mo. at about 5mo old, we found out that we both had thrush. it took amonth to treat us both. but after that, we were all good.try swaddling him? it worked for 2 outa 3 of my babies. goodluck sweetie.

Jessica - posted on 06/30/2010

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first i have to ask, how comfortable are you with being a new mom? if u are unsure of yourself and nervous the baby will sense that and it will upset him. try to make yourself as relaxed as possible (and trust me i know it is hard i went through a very similar situation with my 1st born - except it was a 24/7 thing). try warm - cool baths and use lavander to help calm him. try different temperatures for the bottles when you feed him, try different music to help calm him, my daughter calmed down to heavy rock and my son calmed down to punk music. if u listened to music while in labor try that!! that will most likely end up being the music that calms him down the easiest. also just because he is burping well down not mean he does not have gas in his stomach. after he eats feel his belly, if it feels hard there is gas in there and that could be causing him pain. hope this helps :)

Krystle - posted on 06/30/2010

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I've posted a reply already, but when I read your last one it sounds a lot like my son the first month - he hated baths, and diaper changes and when he's cry he'd arch his back like his tummy was hurting. What helped us (besides snuggling him in my housecoat - but I'd be standing or sitting, so there wasn't pressure on his tummy) was: 1) Daddy holding him over his shoulder and patting him on his back pretty firmly and rhythmically. 2) I'd sit on the bed, and sit him inside my legs with his back on my tummy and gently massage his tummy in little circles going the way the intestines go (so right, up,down on left). And nurse, nurse, nurse! Breastmilk helps babies sensitive intestines plus it comforts them! :)

Snezhana - posted on 06/30/2010

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Hi I have a new born too and he's our third boy. What really helps our babe calm down if his tummy is upset is a really light tea made with dill leaves. U can get dried dill weed or fresh leaves and take a pinch of it, brew with half a cup of hot water and let cool. Then with a dropper give him maybe half a dropper and burp him. He will relax. All Russians do this old time remedy. God Bless!!

Tracey - posted on 06/30/2010

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i have tried 90% of the advice given here. for me he still cries. unfort i cant use any snugi's or carriers cause of my back. i've tried getting him to lay on my chest and he goes off cause he doesnt like being on his stomach. he hates being even half naked, cries when getting a nappy change most of the time and absolutely hates bath time (its not the water temperature we always double check that). he does arch his back when crying and tense right up bringing his legs up and squeezing his fists and hands into his body. Hopefully the nurse today can help us out since i cant get into see his gp until next week :( i'll see how infacol works, a few people have suggested it not only on here but someof my close friends too. just cant wait until the 4-6 week mark when hopefully he starts to routine. we'll see how it goes. Because i've had to revert to formula at night (not expressing enough milk now cause its starting to dry up somewhat i'm guessing due to stress) i somehow think it might not quite be my diet. i dont know we'll see how we go today and i'll let eeryone know. Thank you so much guys for all your posts. As much as most of the stuff will not work, its good to know what i can and cant try at least :)

Lea - posted on 06/30/2010

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If that doesn't help and you have to keep using a bottle, start using DROP-INS (plastic bags you put the milk in and then put the nipple cover over so that as hes feeding, the bag deflates the way a breast would and very little air is involved with the feeding. Please look into it.

Lea - posted on 06/30/2010

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NIPPLE SHIELDS. thats they only way I got my son to latch on for the first 2 months. a nurse or lactation consultant can show you how to use them.

Jenny - posted on 06/30/2010

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babies do sense what you are feeling for sure. so try to relax. that will help. dont be afraid to ask for help. call anybody and see if they can come spend some time with you and the baby. Try a swaddle blanket. My babies doctor gave me one to use and it was an absolute miracle. There are so many diferent ones and I cant think of the name of the one that she loaned me. Dont be afraid to call the doctor too, your pediatrician should be able to help. Sometimes when breatfeeding what you eat can effect the baby, make them gassy.......ask a breastfeeding consultant about the specifics. As far as the babies attention span, babies dont focus for long. Just a few seconds/minutes...as the baby gets older it will get longer that he can focus. Right now they cant see real well, only certain colors and mostly real close.....if you are worried that there may be a deeper issue with him, always call ur doc. They are there to help you. My kids' doctor heard from me so much when they were ity bity....my sister has twins and i helped her with them and i have 2 of my own, they all are so diferent and none are really truely easy. Just remember that you are a good mommy, try to have patience, breath and relax. It will be ok. If you are just beyond having any patience, it IS ok to put the baby in a safe place (remember that they dont take real long to roll over) and take a moment to yourself. Step outside, make a phone call or something a try again with new patience and love in your heart. Ask your dactor about the swaddle blanket and which they would recommend. (or reply to me later and ask me what its called i will call and ask my doctor) My daughter used hers for a bit and it really did help. I hope things get better for you. I understand all too well that overwhelmed feeling. I have been there. Lots of moms have, and it will be ok. Time. Best of luck.

Krystle - posted on 06/30/2010

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I know it's very frustrating, but he's trying to tell you he doesn't feel good. So it's just trial-and-error on your part to figure out what he needs and likes.

There are a lot of great suggestions already posted! I found what worked for us was to take off my clothes, put on my house coat and sit on the couch with baby wrapped upright on my chest in the housecoat. Nice warm and snuggly and close to mommy and milk. :)

Deeanna - posted on 06/30/2010

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with my second baby......after he was born...he was very unsettled....i knew babies are usually more sleepy after their born.....my son was very disturbed....kicking....fisting his hands.......screaming.....crying all the time.....not really sleeping...me and his dad would only get like 4-5 hours sleep....he was like that for a whole month......colicky baby.......whutever your eating or drinking could be upsetting his stomach.....when you breastfeed....i was breastfeeding my baby at the time......drinking tea....coffee...and such things......you'lll get through this....takecare

Lindsey - posted on 06/30/2010

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are u sure he hasnt got colic when callum was little he was the same and he used to drink milk just for the sake of drinking it try infacol in the bottles

Heather - posted on 06/30/2010

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I just saw that your baby calms for others...this is part of being a breast feeding mom. They smell you and think food and cry to get it...This might be what you are experiencing too

Heather - posted on 06/30/2010

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it is okay! I have 5 children my first was a horrible upset baby. Most of mine have been criers to some extent and none of mine were sleepers. ALL are well adjusted smart well behaved children. 4 of them have chronic ear infections and have tubes. Most drs will not do tubes until a baby is 6 months...until then use heat pads hot towels and lots of swings and repetitive motion for comfort.

it is harder with your first because you feel your ability to mother is directly linked to a happy baby...it isn't. You did the right thing to let him cry when you could find what else to do. You were in control of your emotions and knew it was time to give him a cry break. Some people will argue but babies do need to cry it out some times. It is how they release and calm and communicate.

Good luck to you...You alread seem to be a very good mom!

Amy - posted on 06/30/2010

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how well does he poop? Does he have a poop diaper atleast once a day? Could be colic or he could feel bloated(which will make his tummy hurt) an all this he doesn't understand so he cries. You could try to put a warm(not hot and not wet) wash cloth on his belly. And yes the ADD attention span is normal, well it was with our son he was also like this till he was about 4months old. We tried everything we could and some things worked and some didn't. You just have to try a number of things to see what works for your little guy. Mylcon helps with bloating but does kind of make them constpated if you give them too much. We also used Gripe Water to help with the colic and it seemed to work a little. You can try to swaddle him if you haven't already, my son didn't like to be swaddled BUT he did like the warm washcloth on his belly and a blanket wrapped around his belly. But what helped the most was laying back either in bed or on the sofa and had him lay on my chest, he got warmth from me and could feel my heart and me breath. Good luck...and try not to stress too much, babies feed off of your energy...I know its hard NOT to stress but try

Lee-Ann - posted on 06/30/2010

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Reflux.(IMO). sounds identical to my son. he nursed constantly at the boob in the beginning and we mistook it for hunger, but turns out he was soothing the reflux (like heartburn, we drink milk to soothe it). Woke as soon as was laid down, liked to be upright and moving. Does he arch his back at times of upset? Do his eyes water and get redish? reflux doesn't have to be visible, the acids may just slosh up and down the esophagus. My son's is silent. When i did manage to get him asleep he would only sleep for 20mins during the day, thankfully reflux babies generally are quick to sleep good stretches through the night so sanity is possible for mum's! lol He's 3 months now, we still have bad days amongst the good. He's on ranitidine. Still cat naps a lot, but is happier when up. It's hard work but they grow out of it. Ask your Dr about reflux. In the meantime, try elevating his bed, burping him often during a feed, and if you're not against them give him a pacifier in bed (very soothing for reflux babies).

Brittany - posted on 06/29/2010

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Just hold on mom it well get better!! Have you tried to sing to him and pat his butt, that still calms my little girl!!

Tracey - posted on 06/29/2010

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i dont know if its colic or not truth be told. i will ask the nurse 2mora when i go see her. the reason i say this is cause when he is with anyone else he is calm as and quiets easy. i can be in the best mood in the world and he'll still cry when i just try to talk to him or let him know i'm there or try to out him to bed when he's tired. as far as i have read colic babies cry no matter who holds them if they have tummy pains they dont stop till u can sooth the pain. sure maybe cause he knows i cant sooth the pain and daddy can that might be the reason y he cries with me and not with daddy. I guess i'm just thankful that daddy is there to help and that he does calm with daddy or at least somebody. if i was alone in this i wouldnt handle it.

[deleted account]

I wouldcheck your diet first then play whith him for a bitof time thenput him in another room with a bouncy even if he cries. wait 15 min, then send him to the crib even if he cries. Wait 15 min or so and if he calms even a little check on him then leave him in for another 15. Sometime the baby doesnt know what to do , he needs a routine. With the one i just had she was like that but i kept the routine, feed, talk to her, put her in bassinet then she cried but i let her. Now at 9 weeks she eats we play and ten goes toswing or bouncy then she fusses because she want s to leep so off to the crib and right now she is asleep. thatis all in a 3 hour window. Dont worry you will get through it. And if the soft music doesnt help baby it might help you.

Tiffany - posted on 06/29/2010

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You said u talk to him when you hold him right?
maybe try laying down on the floor with him and talking to him?
I have a 3 yr old who was a fussy baby and I also have one a lil over a yr he was always been a mommy boy and was very very much of a cry baby ( still is ) but with two I could not hold him so this is what I did ( he hates being the lil one so we try to always come to make him feel bigger!

Juli - posted on 06/29/2010

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Buy the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It really helped us with our daughter. She had colic. We read the first chapter, and it was a complete 180. It sounds like he may have colic. There are 2 different types of colic. One is from stomach pains, and the other is simply that your baby misses the comforts of the womb and wants back in for the comfort and security. The book teaches you 5 steps that you do all at once, and it's very easy. Swaddle, lay baby on it's side against you, give him a binkie to suck on, sway him, and make shhhhh noises to make womb sounds. It may take 5 minutes, but he will (should) calm down. let me know if it helps!



I read in one of your earlier posts that you can't swaddle because of your back. You can do these steps while sitting on the couch, although if you have a rocking chair, that would help your back even more so the chair can do the rocking instead of you and your back. I HIGHLY reccomend you either buy the book (about $15) or check it out from the library. Our pediatrician recommended it to us, and we stupidly waited a few weeks to get it. SO much stress gone after reading just the first chapter!

Sonya - posted on 06/29/2010

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It sounds like colic or maybe just the baby trying to process his new world. If you cannot pace or walk him for long, I suggest getting a rocking chair or reclining chair that rocks. Turn on the radio or TV to a white noise channel. Volume must be up enough for baby to hear it over his crying. Try going outside for a bit. In all my experience with fussy little ones the outside seems to calm them alot. Try not to let him cry to long on his own with out tending to him. Swaddle him well after nursing. Remember the three S's when it comes to a new baby. Swaddle, Sway, Shush! If his umbilical cord has fallen off try a soothing bath with Lavender Calming Bath. I know it's hard when you have a fussy baby but try to stick to a schedule/routine as much as possible. It will help him, along with yourself. You know if your baby has colic when he cries for 3 hours (or more) for 3 days (or more) for 3 weeks (or more). Usually starting around the same time each day. He's still very new to the world so don't go judging him yet. Just keep him close to you as much as possible. Stay in the bed with him or the couch when you can. If you're at home with hubby and baby, go shirtless with just a bra and keep the baby without clothes. Skin to skin contact and your scent will help keep him calm as well. To help your back, try some stretches, slow and easy, and build up a walking endurance. I hope it all works out for you and your family. Congratulations on your new baby and keep us posted!

Lisa - posted on 06/29/2010

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colic.. My jordan had it not realy bad just when it came to sleeping of a night. some times she would go down fin but wake up later. We found just laying in a reclina and letting her sleep was fine and she grew out of it. You can get stuff from the cemest for colic and it dos help but most babys will grow out of it after a few months....
My partner worked mornings to so i would do the baby every day but saturday witch was my day i could sleep in read a book or just veg for the whole day chosing wether i did stuff or not. also just to get a brack my partner would bath our little girl so i could have a brake in the avo.
You also need to have a realy good night time routin. Ig dinner same time, bath same time folowed by a bottol then straight to bed. Well that was mine and now jordan is 20 months and gos straight to sleep at 7pm with no complants.

good luck and stick in there.

Elysia - posted on 06/28/2010

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perhaps he has colic. I havent personally dealt with this but a friend has just gone through a very similiar thing and it turned out her little boy was suffering from colic. This was her 3rd baby and the other 2 were fine so she was also at a loss.
He may also be picking up on your own anxietys. Once he gets upset and then you get upset its just a circle, you have done the right thing by placing him down and allowing your self to mellow out. I would visit your child nurse or doctor and see what they say and if they have any tips for you. Good luck and hope he settles for you.
Also try swaddling him or if you already do try letting him be unwrapped.

Lisa - posted on 06/28/2010

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You also might have to give up the smoking. Hard, I know, because I have smoked for over 20 years.

Lisa - posted on 06/28/2010

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In my experience with 5 children, 4 of whom were breastfed, you feed them on demand. Make sure the diaper isn't too loose or tight, wrap him snug in a blanket even though it's warm. Babies are sensitive to heat and cold. And you could try after wrapping him laying him on your bed. That might help. He can also sense your discomfort. You might try having a friend come over to help so you can get a few minutes without the fussing. And, even though it hurts, you sometimes just have to let them cry it out. I know it's painful to even think about, but it doesn't hurt them.

Tracey - posted on 06/28/2010

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i dont breastfeed because i cant latch him on. i tried and tried and it got to the point where i wouldnt want to touch him during feeds or i'd cry the whole feed cause it hurt too much on the breast. I express my milk and i enjoy feeding him now cause i dont have to stress about the pain. i get plenty of sleep (i used to work 2 8 hour jobs daya nd night so i'm used to not sleeping lol) plus dad takes night shift and feeds and tends to him at night and sleeps till midday b4 we share the responsibilities. he has a pretty long attention span for a 2 week old. he will focus on me for almost 3-5 minutes at a time even when i'm not talking gently to him. even when people come in the room or come past talking to him he'll look at them for a few second before reverting back to whatever it was he was looking at.
He can be an absolute angel at night but in the morning when its just mum and Grandma taking care of him he is wide awake and will not go to sleep or settle (if we put him down anywhere) untill daddy wakes up. afternoons/evenings and nights are bliss with him its just the mornings he will not settle between feeds for more than half an hour cause he's wide awake. He is a very gassy baby tho. every time we pick him up when he starts to cry we burp him with little problems and then he's quiet until we put him down again. He hates being on his tummy even when someone is holding him so the colic holds and tummy times are out of the question until we can figure out y he doesnt like them.
If we feed him any less than 150mls of breastmilk every 2-3 hours he goes off wanting more feed. he'll empty every last drop out of the bottle and whinge for more. Tho he doesnt always drink the whole 150mls, sometimes he does.
the reason i havent seen a physio yet is because first of all i cant afford to see any other physio and the one i am seeing in mid july, it is her earliers appointment for me. I am going to the child care clinic 2mora (wed 30th june) so they are gonna check him over and find out whats making him tick.
He does frequent poos. we find poos in at least every second nappy (which we change every feed at this stage) they are at the moment a clustered dark mustard poo. My mother thinks that he just sees me at the moment as a food dispenser lol simply cause whenever i hold him he is either chewing on my shoulder or starts crying and sucking his dummy or hands like there is no 2mora. How do u comfort a baby when whenever you pick him up he thinks its feed time? its hard on the brain to try and comfort him when he wakes up thinking its feed time every time u got to comfort him for whetever reason he may be crying for in the first place (comfort, gas, overtiredness etc)
i know it will get easier. and i am counting down the weeks till he gets to 4-6 week period and i can entertain him a bit more when he's awake.. i try every day not to let it get me down in any way because i love him and he's my little miracle no matter what i think and i'll never ever hurt him. I just wish he knew that.

Lea - posted on 06/28/2010

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Oh, I would stop drinking tea right away also. Any amount of caffeine passing to your baby is too much. It builds up in their system and they can't get rid of it like our bodies can.

Nataleigh - posted on 06/28/2010

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well hun it more sounds ur lil one has colic because i also have a lil one that has gord gastro-oesophigal reflux disorder an it it really normall for some babys to spew a lil here an there but on the other hand i have overfed my lil one on one occasion which could be another factor to it. but yeah talk to a doctor because noone can ever be 100% sure if u get what i mean lol. i know it is hard but when u do feel upset call a neighbour or friend to help out becase for the first 10weeks of my sons life i was a single parent and had to deed on a neighbour which was a big releif i can swear to god on that hun just dont ever be afraid to ask.

Lea - posted on 06/28/2010

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Sounds like a normal bout of colic. It can be very tiring. Do some research and what you should find is that gas doesn't always cause it - its also caused by an inability of the baby's nervous system to deal with stimulation and calm themselves. What helps is the 3 Ss, and holding the baby. If you cannot carry him, then just sit down with him. I sat breastfeeding my son for hours because I also have back problems. The skin to skin contact that comes with breastfeeding can be very soothing for babies. They feel your warmth and recognize your smell and feel and hear your heartbeat and its very reassuring because it is just like in the womb. Turn down the lights and noise and that should help. A baby swing that played music helped my son also.

Carly - posted on 06/28/2010

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See the DR asap. Babies should be settled by food or sleep or comforting. If not maybe he is having a bit of tummy upset or colic. Best to seek out medical advice straight away.

Lindsey - posted on 06/28/2010

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Sounds like colic to me. Had one with colic. He liked his bouncer with the little vibrating thing on it. Something about the vibration was very settling for him. In the evenings was worse and we had to get a little sling so that i could carry him in that instead of holding him in my arms all evening. When he does finally calm down rest as much as possible and have friends and family help with cleaning and cooking and let your hubby take baby an hour or two a day so you can sleep. It lasts til about 3 months and it will be exhausting and frustrating but ask for help so you dont get too overwhelmed. Good Luck.

CarrieAnn - posted on 06/28/2010

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I just thought of something else! I know I'm a dork..but did you smoke when you were pregnant? I did. I know it wasn't good in anyway, but my OB knew and felt it'd be more of a detrement for my nerves to be shot than the 1/2 pack a day I had. So no nasty emails moms..please! Anyways, he had "withdraws" of the nicotine afterwards as we would. They told me to do the "Kangaroo Pouch" hold on him. Make sure my bra was off and put him under my shirt up towards my neck and let him lay naked against my naked skin. It helped tremendously. I know you have a hard time holding him, but lay somewhere that it wont hurt and try this. It worked for us! Big Hugs again!

Sherry - posted on 06/28/2010

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something my girlfriend and I were thinking..

SWADDLING-- definitely try this... and put him in his bassinet or close by (even just on the couch) take a baby blanket about 2feet by 2 feet and place it in a diamond shape. corner up corner down.. place baby in the middle of that diamond ... fold feet point flap to baby's belly snuggly, then the "starfish" wings tuck around 2 around arm and one around whole baby as snuggly as possible (snug but not tight) the security and Snugg feeling of the blanket is like that feeling in the womb.. you would have seen them do it in the hospital you then don't HAVE to hold the baby but have him close by so that he can see you and hear you. just let him lay in his crib/bassinet/playpen/or on couch (once he's older swaddling won't do much but you've got a couple months to go for that!) and put your hand on his belly while he's awake just so he can "feel" mom... I think this is probably the key to your problem.. but try it out and see. Remember Snug is the key with swaddling.

the babe is NOT going to be manipulating you guys with his crying... you've got a long way before that happens... my 7 month old sometimes seems to but even at that age I doubt it.

iron supplements.. in your breastmilk maybe?? causing pain and constipation in your babe? try one of these if he's not pooping about 5x a day for a breastfed baby:
1) brown sugar water (1T brown sugar to about 3 oz 180 mils roughly) the mollassus in the brown sugar have laxitive properties for a baby
2 ) VERY WATERED DOWN Prune Nector (NOT PRUNE JUICE!) Must be Prune NECTOR (about 1pt to3 or 4pts water preboiled of course)

at 2 weeks baby's poop should still be pretty dark and runny.. in a little time it should change to a yellowy greeny grainy looking goop... he's still flushing the amnio fluid from his body so this is normal for a babe that young.

Have you tried a nursing pillow? Basicly it's a U shapped pillow that goes under your arm and around baby to hold him up in breastfeeding/snuggle position that way you don't have to use muscle to hold him up (works wonders and are about $35 in canada. Have you tried a heat pad for your back? Magic bag (you can throw in the microwave for a time and one in the freezer and switch hot and cold can take the swelling down in your back)... there is a possiblity that because your not done post bleeding that that's setting off your backspazms would Midol help-- like menstral cramps but in the back because of the strain of labour you may be feeling it in your back instead of womb.)

Hope something in these suggestions helps sweety. It's rough being a new mom.. took me about 6 weeks and alot of tears to realize that by the time I figured it out... we'd be long past that stage... take a deep breath and realize YOUR DOING GREAT MOM! Keep your chin up and try not to let those baby cries upset you (if you don't feel like you've had a HUGE yawn.. your still too tense.. take another deep breath it does get a little easier!)

Sherry - posted on 06/28/2010

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Hi Tracey,

I'm sure you've heard alot of good and bad advice by now. I don't want to overburden you... your babe is only a couple weeks old. Sounds like the little tyke is eating enough for his age right now... So I wouldn't worry about that.

As for him/her crying constantly.. mine did that for a while too.. best thing to do for us was throw in a movie, sit down comfortably and cuddle.. don't pace, just sit.... watch the movie coo to the babe talk to him or even read a book... baby needs as much contact as they can get a this point... Might be a bit of separation anxiety if he wakes/starts crying when put down... at least in my experience.. you can not spoil your child right now.. the babe is way too young...

I'm also a physically disabled mom but my issues are with my legs not my back. it's rough.. I know... Don't forget that chores can wait.. it's not going to bother anyone if the dishes aren't done tonight.

A babe shouldn't be put in a bouncer (jolly jumper type/excersaucer type) way to young for that they need neck control! but if your talking a bouncy chair.. those can be a godsent! you might want to try a swing and/or a rocker with a vibrator on the front.. Those are to kill for (I'm so not joking) strap him in and bounce or rock with foot.. wow.. I was sorry I didn't think of it sooner! it took almost 2 months before we got one....

Attention span-- is the attention span more then 1 second??? he's FINE... my son barely made eye contact until he was 4 months. at 2 weeks everything is blurry... will be a about a month I think (don't quote me) before they can see as well as you and me... and there's ALWAYS something to look at over there... no wait.. over there... or... no over there... LOL don't worry.. honestly I'm not joking (just making light) it's funny sometimes try to find that humor it will make the day go a little faster

Best of luck.

s

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