New sleeping situation

Kat - posted on 11/19/2011 ( 45 moms have responded )

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So monday night i had it. I offically decided to put the railing on the crib and get to work. My LO is 13 months and has been co-sleeping since day one. I have recently night weaned him for the most part, nursing maybe once being approx 7-9 hours after last feed. He does not eat solids well. Anywho, i told myself that i would NEVER try to sleep train again. It was to hard at the other attempts. This was attempt 4. So far, still going. Started monday. It was a loooooong first night, changing plan up a bit as the day goes. Ive come to realize that the more we check on him the worse he gets. I REALLY did NOT want to, i think its called extinction, right?! but as we have only gone in less and less he has cried less and less every night. I feel SOOOOO mean though for letting him do this. If he is hysterical we check on him, lay him down, and tell him night night. If not we are riding it out. The only thing i dont get is why is he continuing to wake up again and again everynight crying. Everything i read says when they eventually go to sleep that is it, they are sleeping through the night. I dont even respond to him in the night, so its not like he thinks hes gonna see me. Is he just REALLY trying hard to get me to go back to the way things use to be, and hopefully this will end soon???? I just dont want this to go on for a month or two. I cant even imagine dealing with this for another week. PLEASE if anyone has a similar story to share, or ressurance for me. I feel like a TERRIBLE mommy and dont feel like i have anyone to talk to. I sure wish my mommy was here.

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[deleted account]

It seems mean, but I found that the more I tried to comfort my daughter around that age when it came to sleeping the more upset in the end she got. So I just stopped going in. I would listen and check through the door, but not go in. I figure that I'm not really helping if it ends up upsetting her so much that I didn't take her with me.

Charlotte - posted on 11/19/2011

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I feel you. I have a 2 year old and 4 year old who refuse to sleep in there own bed. They wont even go to sleep in my bed without me being right there. They also wake up at night crying for me if I do get back up after they have fallen asleep. The thing is they both slept with me until the age of 1 then My husband and I decided to get them in there own beds.. which worked great until we moved and my husband got deployed. I also have 2 twin girls who are 1 going on two.. from the moment they were born we kept them on a really strick schedule and I learned to never go into there room after Lights out unless its a really bad type of cry and as there mom I know there cries.. as you would yours. They sleep all night from 7pm and I dont get them up until 7am... its seems like a long time but its been that way since they born other then nightly feeding up to 4 months. Anyhow I guess my point to you is... Stop going and checking on him once lights are out. He knows mommy comes back and ends up getting what he wants which puts him in control. The last thing you want is to be like me and have him in your bed until 4 or older. I am exhausted with my 2 older ones.. I have tried everything to get them to sleep in there own beds. I was really close a few months back but of course I live on post and someone called the mps due to my son who has autism screaming while I was in the doorway trying to let him scream it out. Well.. the mps gave me some advice on how to try and get them to sleep in there rooms too.. but nothing works. O' and the person that called it in was told about my sons autism and asked to mind there own business. Your son will learn when he wakes up to sooth himself back to sleep no matter how hard it is for you to hear him crying. Just dont go in there no matter how loud he gets. It takes time and yes you will loose a lot of sleep.. you can also try reading him stories about bedtime.. talk and remind him throughout that day that tonight.. your going to sleep in your bed. and make it sound exciting to him~ O' and your not a terrible mommy. This is a normal thing to go threw.

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Kat - posted on 12/08/2011

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It will def work if you want to move his bedtime up. Let me know how it goes. SO nice to chat with you Ange. ps- My LO slept 9 1/2 hrs straight last night although he was up screaming for a nursing at 3:30. It was hard to believe he had been asleep for 8 1/2 hours straight, but i guess i need to figure in the early bedtime.

Kat - posted on 12/07/2011

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but I put him later to make sure he is tired enough to go down and plus if are out at the parents through the evenings then he is not so used to going to bed at an earlier

do you mean when your out or if your parents? Im sorry i got mixed up. I am sure if you wanted him to go to sleep earlier you can work on that over time, working in incremints of 15 minutes for a while. Does that make sense?

Ange - posted on 12/07/2011

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we put him down at 9 - 9:30pm and his nap times are usually around 12ish and now it doesn't take him long to go down when we started the cry it out thing at bed and naps time he took awhile to go down then but now he gives a cry for well not even 5 minutes he gets radio and he will turn on his mobile that is in the crib and he plays for alittle bit then off to sleep but I put him later to make sure he is tired enough to go down and plus if are out at the parents through the evenings then he is not so used to going to bed at an earlier time ya I wish sometimes he would go earlier cause I need that break but in another point I am alright with him not and I get half an hour with out him at night and I also get time to myself when he is napping

Kat - posted on 12/07/2011

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I use to put him to bed at 8pm, but started putting him to bed earlier to make up for OT time. He seems to go to sleep well at this time. What time does your LO go to sleep? Does it take him awhile to go down? Maybe he would have an easier time going to sleep earlier too.

Ange - posted on 12/07/2011

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that is excellent glad that he slept all night I wish my guy would go down at 645 but he doesn't but I am glad he is sleeping in his own crib at night and nap times.... I will work on the bed time time at a later date I just want him sleeping there and he is which I am thankful for

Kat - posted on 12/07/2011

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Ange- thanks. Last night he went right to sleep at 6:45, until 5:00. I was SHOCKED! I think i need to remember that there will be good nights and bad nights, especially with teething, and talking, and cold season. ugh to that!

Ange - posted on 12/06/2011

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no problems my LO is going to be 17 months on the 9th.... and tonight is his first night sleeping in his crib with out his nummy as he has it for naps and bed but today when I was at my dentist app my mom was watching him and I forgot to tell her not to give him his nummy cause he chews right through them and I am all out until friday but we will see how the next couple days goes and with any luck the nummies will be a thing of the past... but not counting on it but still it is better then the thumb at least I can throw out the nummy lol..

I feel for you I thought I would be in the same boat when I started out but with everyday passing my LO got better.... I really hope that your LO settles soon

Kat - posted on 12/06/2011

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Ashely- How do you know when he needs milk? Yeah i have offically decided to do one nap at around 12-12:30 seems to be the best. If i do it later he has a real hard time getting to nap. Do you do lunch before or after nap?

Ange- Thanks for asking. He is still waking up sometimes for a couple of minutes. Thinking bad dreams too, or teeth? How old did you say your LO is? That is great he is not waking up at all!!!

Liz- He eats chobani yogart, bananas, pomogranate seeds, grapes, cheerios, chicken, lentils, beans, chedder cheese, turkey.just tried those fruit pouches, he loves those. Do you think its bad to give him sausage bc its processed? He seems to like it, but it doesnt seem good for him. Overall i give him what we are having but he eats little bits. Maybe i am overestimating and he IS eating in proportion. I think its my Breastmilk too! :) So do you think its ok to nurse him after 9-10hrs though?

Amy- That is a funny story about your husband and the bed! So what do you do when she wakes because of her teeth? Hug her, or just lay her down till shes asleep and then leave?

I feel silly asking this, but i dont know how to distingush between his cries. Last night and the night before when i got to him in the morning he was soaked and had a poop. I feel SO terrible! Now i feel like i should go in everytime he wakes up but overall that seemed to stress him out more, but i obviously dont want him to be soaked or be in a dirty diaper all night. any advice?

Ange - posted on 11/30/2011

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Kat hows your little guy doing? mine is doing great he doesn't cry as much any more and he is sleeping through the night well except for last night but I think he had a bad dream or something he just needed a hug and a kiss and then he was good again but other then that he is doing great and we are getting some sleep too

Amy - posted on 11/28/2011

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My DD nursed and co-slept til 25 months. I really had it at that point. I couldn't take it any more with her waking up to nurse. I wasn't producing more than a drop and it was all over. I refused to nurse her any longer and she got the hint after 3 nights. Once she would sleep without the "bub", I arranged her room so I could lie in a twin bed until she fell asleep in her crib which she never slept in before that 1st night!!! In the beginning of that stage she would wake up once or twice to where I had to lie in the twin bed for a few minutes til she went back to sleep. Now she pretty much sleeps through the night with no problem. I think I had to go in there once in the last week but only because she was getting teeth and they bothered her. Better to get her back to sleep there than her come to my bed! Next step coming soon is to remove the twin bed. We have a love seat in there and I will lounge on it for a few nights til she sleeps and try to plan how to get her to just get in her bed and go to sleep. So nice to be in my bed and spread out and my husband is no longer hanging over the edge of the bed so he doesn't smoosh the kid.1st night with no baby he scooted next to me and I said jokingly "Who the heck are you? You better get out of here before my husband gets home!" Been 2 years since I seen him lying next to me. I was used to seeing baby there!

[deleted account]

I think if your son is 24 lbs, he's getting enough to eat...



My son is almost 15 months old and weighs less, and it sounds like he eats more than your son too.



If your son eats so little during the day, and he's nightweaned -- what does he eat?? Your breastmilk must be awesome. :)

Ange - posted on 11/26/2011

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My LO likes the noise when while we were cuddling him to sleep our tv would be on and we would watch it until he was asleep then we would put him in his crib.... and when my hubby made any noises with his throat it never bothered him.... but when we did the cuddling thing he would wake up in the middle of the all the time to come back to bed with us and that was every night now that he is crying him self to sleep he is sleeping all night it is great to finally get some sleep at night.... but in exchange his naps have changed as well he will nap for 40 minutes to an hour and he goes down when he is tired I want to make sure he is tired before he goes for a nap then it is less time crying....

Ashley - posted on 11/25/2011

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I have found my youngest sleeps much better in his own room for the reasons you mentioned. It does get better, and if he is putting himself back to sleep after crying at night then he is on the right track to soothing. My guy is 17m and will sometimes wake up to eat (milk not BF) but rarely and sometimes just wakes up cries a minute than is back asleep. I wish you good luck with your little one, it is a hard road once you start but the rewards of sleep are great. Also for your naps when you switch to 1 nap when do you put him down? My little guy naps from 12:30 which is kind of in the middle of both his old naps. hope that helps any.

Kat - posted on 11/25/2011

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Now that he is crying less. Last night only 10 minutes, and maybe 5 minutes at 11, and then woke up at 5:20, nursed with him in bed. Tonight it was a bit longer but whimpering. I would LOVE to sleep with him in our room,but i have offically figured out that my husband may be a HUGE cause to him waking up. The other night, before we decided to move into his room, everytime my husband would cough and do some weird, annoying grunt thing with his throat, LO would wake up screaming, and i figured this is no good for him. For his sake of getting a well rested, un- interupted sleep, this is probably whats best for him. I cant be selfish and keep him next to me if thats not going to be good for him. Thats awesome if your husband isnt a loud mouth like mine.

Ange - posted on 11/24/2011

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ya I can understand that I wouldn't put my boy in his room either if I was about to paint... so it does make it hard to listen to him right there but it is what is best for him and us...
Thanksgiving is over for us in Canada but Happy Thanksgiving to you :)

Kat - posted on 11/24/2011

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We have been sleeping in his room. I have decided as much as i like him close, it is def not as ruff if he is in another room. I just dont want to move him into his room yet, because i am about to paint it, and well i dont want him in there because of that yet. I think its good that we are doing this now. Think if we waited and all the words they could scream and cry instead. I remember i saw super nanny and a 2 year old was just starting out in his crib in his own room, and he was hystercially yelling at the mom, im dying mom, im dying, save me, help me, im dying, i cant sleep in here! That made me think, crying is ruff but words would be ALOT harder.
ps- happy turkey day

Ange - posted on 11/24/2011

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awe.... my LO started the one nap thing back when he was about 6 months I think and that is when he started sleeping for 3 hours out of the day but he wasn't really getting enough sleep through the night.... and this week since we started letting him cry himself to sleep at night he has been sleeping through the night that his naps have been weird they are not 3 hours long they are now 40 minutes or so..... It is hard to listen to them cry but in the same point they have to learn to sleep in their own bed at least with us he is not in the same bedroom he has his own so we can shut the doors a bit

Kat - posted on 11/23/2011

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My LO is SO OT, and i keep thinking he is ready for one nap, but is SO grumpy, so when i try two naps, he just wont take the later one, resulting in a REALLY long wakeful period. So i put him to bed early and he screamed and cried for 40 mintues, and only has woken twice for a few second i hear him cry, so maybe he is not even awake. I dont know. We just got to get through this together.

When did you LO switch to one nap?

Ange - posted on 11/22/2011

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Last night he didn't wake up in the middle of the night which was the first in a while so it was our luck my husband woke up in the middle of night last night just to check on him to make sure he was ok... My LO is 16 months old and we should have stuck to this back when he was 6 months old and then we wouldn't have this problem now.... today he napped for an hour and cried for 5 minutes but his nap wasn't that long like it usually is...and later in the day he was still tried so I put him back down and he wouldn't go back to sleep in his crib after a half hour of letting him cry I thought maybe he wasn't so tired for a nap yet so I brought him out of his room and he sat in my lap and fell asleep there for like 10 minutes and when I moved him to his crib he started crying again so I am not sure what tonight is going to bring so we will see

Kat - posted on 11/22/2011

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Ange-
Thanks for the good luck wishes. It seems like it will take FOREVER but i am sure in the long run this is better for them. 30-40 minutes!? thats not bad for first time. Did he wake up in the middle of the night? How old did you say your LO is?
Char-
Where did you get your calming menthol liquid? I think i should try that because Tylenol does NOT seem to be helping him.
Jaime-
What was your sleeping situation with your first child? Yeah i know he should eat more solids. I do LOTS of finger foods. he either screams and hands them back to me or they go on the floor. I was NEVER able to get a spoon near him when he was younger, but he lets me sometimes now, so he lets me feed him some yogart mixed with fruit. Today he had some pieces of cereal, but most was on the floor. For lunch he had yogart and fruit, and dinner some steak and pomp.seeds. I was impressed. Maybe i over react and he is getting enough? He is 24.11 lbs. so he is gaining weight, but i just worry this is why he keep waking up because he is hungry.

Liz- Wow! Thats ALOT of food for one day! At first i thought that was for the week. I REALLY wanted to continue co-sleeping but my husband was getting mad and he was waking alot anyway and i think i was getting to my last straw and needed a break. I am a stay at home mom, and i dont know if you read earlier that i couldnt even get up to go to the bathroom without him waking up. He seemed OT even co-sleeping so it seemed like what was the difference. I still nap with him though.

Ange - posted on 11/22/2011

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Charlotte - we did the crying thing last night and he cried for 20 to 30 minutes then he was asleep so it works its just going to take some time thats all and which we have.... I have been trying to get him sit long enough to read a one word book and look at the pictures he doesn't want to and he won't sit still long enough so we don't right now he will be reading for it later on just not right now.... and we are starting a routine now which is either bath, rubbung some cream on him then bed and the nights he doesn't need a bath then its rub down pj's then bed and that is to start right now later when he gets older we can switch things up

[deleted account]

If he doesn't eat much during the day, then he could be hungry at night. But I think most people tend to overestimate toddler portions. Their daily requirements are (but you have to look at the overall week, since the amount toddlers eat tend to vary day to day):



4 servings veggies/fruit

4 servings grains

2 servings protein (can be eggs, tofu, nut butters too)

16oz-24oz dairy (can be yogurt, cheese, etc.)



1 serving = 1 tbsp X years



Keep in mind, breastmilk is just species-specific "dairy." My 14mo son does not drink cow's milk; he is still breastfed on demand, though his demand is less now.



That said, he eats a good, balanced 3 meals a day, and he still wakes in the night.



I think when they're making the transition from 2 naps to 1 nap, their night sleep suffers due to overtiredness. My son seems overtired when he only has 1 nap, but 2 naps seem like too much day sleep which cuts into his night sleep.



Oh well. We co-sleep and it works for our family. I know it doesn't work for everyone over the long term.

Jaime - posted on 11/21/2011

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I do understand and good luck with it all - unfortunately mine was a total failure LOL my 7 year old STILL sleeps with me. My 1 year old is not like his, he sleeps in his crib and likes it. I am currently pregnant now and hoping that my eldest will move to his bed after she is born.



As for your 13 month old, he should definitely be eating more solids - try giving him finger foods he can pick up himself (even if he makes a mess) he is over a year old and needs the calories.

Charlotte - posted on 11/21/2011

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Ange... ITs what worked my girls but we started them at 4 months of not going into the room when they cried. We had a vid monitor and could see they were okay. If you really cant stand to hear yours cry like that.. try sitting in there in a chair.. no contact.. and sing to him until he falls asleep and then a few night later.. sit in the doorway sing like only half the time it takes him to fall asleep.. a few nights later.. sit in the hallway with the door open and no singing,, do this until he is going to sleep without seeing or hearing your presence. You can also try rocking him to sleep and then putting him in his bed after he falls asleep. If he wakes up several times a night and you just feel like nothing is working then all I can say is let him sleep with you. Him getting his sleep is more important then trying to get him in his own bed!! My son and daughter sleep with me because I am tired of fighting bedtime. I need my sleep too. Also you can try and get some calming methol liquid at a Natural health store and rub that on his feet right before you lay him down for bed.. it really works. When my twins were teething I did that for them and they went right to sleep. Google some information on that becasue I cant think of the right name for it but its all natural. Read to him also... My nightly routine for my 4 kids is Dinner, 30 min bath for the twins and then when I am tending to them getting them dressed for bed I have my older two in the bath.. I read to the twins tuck them in bed.. blow kisses to them in the doorway.. which they Love and blow back. Then I turn out the light and shut the door. The older two get out of the bath and I get them dressed teeth brushed and hair... I play with them quietly such as puzzles or blocks or coloring, Then I read them a book Have them get under the covers in my bed and turn on a cartoon so that I can get a shower in myself and then I lay between them in my bed and they ususally fall right asleep. I sometimes will get up after they fall asleep and go clean up the bathroom and Kitchen and whatever else needs to be done then I get on the computer and I know I on a good night will have about 2 hours before my son wakes up and finds that I am not in the bed,, so I make sure and get back in bed before that happens. Like I said before every child is different.. you just got to keep trying to figure out what works best for your son and you.

Ange - posted on 11/21/2011

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So far at nap time he was alright so we are gonna try it again tonight and just keep going until he does it with any luck it won't be that long I hope your LO gets better at this it is rough to go through and I have only tried once before and gave up but since everyone says it works for them then I have to try and keep persistant on it thats all good luck Kat

Kat - posted on 11/21/2011

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Brittnay-

that is funny your LO wants blankets even in the summer! How do you get the boogies out?

Ange-

I have tried this whole crib thing 4 times now. This being the longest tried. It definetly is taking less and less time to have him initally go to sleep, but in the beginning it was hours. The only thing that is REALLY getting to me is that he keeps waking up every sleep cycle crying and crying, but eventually goes back to sleep after 15-20 minutes or so, Although i am worried he is getting even more OT. Grrrrrr This is day 8, so i feel like i need to keep going though. Good luck to you as well. Sounds like your LO isnt as persistant, which is def a good thing. ALso if you can have your babies dad going in instead. Thats what we are currently doing.

Leah-

That stinks about your little one with insomnia. Did the ped diagnose her? Any reasons why they thought all of a sudden this happened to her?

Rebekah-

so from the beginning, first night i stay in room, but that did not work, the next couple of nights we checked in every 15 minutes or so, but then it seemed like he was freaking out even more when we would leave, so now we are only going in if he is hysterical. He is def cutting molars. I gave him some tylenol before bed. I thought this would help him sleep. He has already woken 3 times. Grrrrr I understand what you mean by consistancy but i am worried i am messing up. His naps are a little messed up. He was taking 2, but now for the most part is only taking 1. Yesterday morning he woke up for the day at 4:30. ick! He took 2 naps good. today only 1, thinking it would be 2, but he wouldnt take the second one, so he was up since 11:30. I ended up putting him to bed early. He feel asleep after one suck on the boob, but ofcourse i laid him down and he woke up. Now i am wondering if he is starving? He is not good at eating solids. He is 13.5 months, and i feel like he should be eating more, and i feel awful to think his belly is rumbling right now. He just woke up screaming, dad just cheked on him, and hes quit for NOW. It seems with all this waking, and crying and screaming for so long, he is just getting more and more and more and more OT. When will the OT stop?!



Ladies thanks for all your support.

Rebekah - posted on 11/21/2011

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The keep to any sleep solution is consistency. Anytime you wavier from your "plan" and give-in or try something different you have to start all over again. So just keep that in mind... he needs to be able to predict with 100% accuracy what will happen.

If he's teething why not give him some ibuprofen or something else for pain prior to bedtime? Then you could eliminate your fears that maybe he's in pain during the night.

What's his day-time schedule? Is he taking regular naps during the day? I notice that my kids wake up more in the night when they are overly tired. So, you might work more on the day-time sleep (if that's an issue) and then the night will fall into place.

LEAH - posted on 11/21/2011

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I remember when I had my first child 15 years ago (daughter) everyone told me to let her cry it out after she was around six months or so. I tried it for one week. She only cried for around 30 minutes the first night and after that it got less and less. A few months after that she developed awful insomnia and it went down hill from there. I started letting her sleep in my bed and I could NOT get her out until she was five :(

FF nine years later I started doing foster care and got an infant baby girl. From the day she came home I "trained" her to her crib. I would hold her and when *I* thought it was bed time (not when she was sleepy or drowsy) I hugged her, kissed her, swaddled and fed her and then laid her down. This worked wonderfully. When she did get to the age where she started waking up crying I checked on her once to make sure her needs were met and that she was not in any pain. I would kiss her goodnight and tell her that I would see her in the morning.

The cry it out method seems mean to some, but it has worked wonders for me.

I have twin one year olds right now so I definitely use this method.

With five children and a very busy schedule I can not even imagine having to keep putting kids back to bed, or sitting in their rooms until they fall asleep etc.

I hope you can find a solution that works wellf or you and yoru baby! Good Luck!

Ange - posted on 11/21/2011

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Ok so nap times run the same as night time where I have to lay down and cuddle him to sleep today I thought I would try letting him cry him self to sleep and it worked he cried for 15 minutes or so and then he was out like a light so tonight it should work too just have to put him into bed before we go to bed so we can sit down stairs and then that why it is not so hard to listen to him.... so with any luck this will work thank you Charlotte for the pointers

Ange - posted on 11/21/2011

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Charlotte - So let him cry it out but how long does the first times cries last I have tried this before but because he would cry and cry and cry for an hour well that is as long as I left him for anyways that is why I stopped cause I didn't want to leave him for that long crying... I didn't think it was good for him and I have heard from other people that it is bad and they do not learn how to self sooth and all that.... what your thoughts I hate to sit there and listen to him cry I left him in there last night at 3am for half an hour he cried so hard that he was coughing pretty harshly is that normal for them to do

[deleted account]

I would go in when she was sick and I could hear that she needed her nose taken care of, so that she can breath easier.

I transitioned her to a twin mattress on the floor about a month ago. Our bed time routine changed a lot because of it. She now gets 2 books and some cuddles (it only ends up being about 2 minutes, since I'm due with my son in 4 weeks). Before I would lay her in her crib, give her two stuffed toys (a duck and a soft doll), and cover her with two blankets (she demanded them even in the heat of the summer). It's weird but she objects a lot less now in a regular bed. I'm not entirely sure why (although the cuddle time could have something to do with it). The only time she really cries is when she's overly tired.

Kat - posted on 11/20/2011

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Grrrrrr thats why i was so frustrated about having to take this route, but i got sick of having to go to bed when he did when we were co-sleeping. He would wake up when i would go pee, which seems like ALL the time! So he was waking up alot even sleeping next to me, so i felt like things needed to change, because he is obviously getting OT, but when does the OT stop?! Hmmmm i wonder if she is even awake, if its only a minute? Yeah he's had alot of looong crying, but it prob. is only 15 mins max like your daughter. I feel SO bad though. When she was getting molars, or were there EVER times you did respond to her? I am always worried now about if there are times that i should quickly go reassure him. He doesnt seem to freak out as much in the middle of the night. For example, last night i ended up going over to him at 1am maybe. i cant remember which time. haha and said, shhhh its night night time. i love you, close your eyes, go to sleep, and he was sleeping in a minute or so. Maybe he wasent even awake. This mommy stuff sure is tricky! Does your LO still sleeping in crib too?

[deleted account]

My daughter is almost 2 and still wakes up at night. The biggest difference is that now she either plays in bed for a bit, or will fuss for maybe 1 minute (the quiet whinny fussing) and then fall back asleep.

At 13 months, I think she woke up at least twice a night. Most of the time she would only fuss for 5 minutes or so. When she was getting her molars however, that was some long crying. It never went longer than 15 minutes as I recall.

Kat - posted on 11/20/2011

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Brittany, you made me feel SO much better. YOU are right. I keep telling myself that if he gets more and more upset when i go in, and then leave, its NO help. The first night it was on and off for 7 hours because i stayed in the room. The next night 5 hours because i would go in everytime, but then the next few nights where we popped in the beginning it went to 2 1/2 then 1 hour, then 40 minutes. Tonight NO going in and only 30 minutes, but i feel bad that he keeps waking up again and again and again. did this happen to you too?

Kat - posted on 11/20/2011

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MY son has been doing ALOT of screaming, but it IS def getting less and less. 30 mintues tonight, although he is still waking up alot, but i am not going to him. I am now REALLY worried that another transtion to his room may disrupt everything or it will be like doing it again.



Charlotte-

So your twins did not want toddler beds? is this why they are having a hard time, or is it just because now they have the freedom to roam? Did you happen to see my post above, about wondering about doing crib in our room, and later around 18 months crib in his room, once he can sleep through the night and winter is over. I think it is similar to the Eliz pantely method. What a HUGE step it was putting him in the crib. Little at a time seems good to me, although i dont like the idea of starting all over again though.

Charlotte - posted on 11/20/2011

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Ange.. There is nothing wrong with letting them cry or even scream it out. Once you decide that its time for your little one to sleep in his/her own bed they have to go threw a lot of changes that a scarry for them. But if you keep going in the room to sooth them it sends them a message that something might just not be good about sleeping in there own bed because mommy feels the need to come comfort me every time I cry for her.. but if you dont go into the room after lights is out and you know they are only crying because they want you then it will take little time for them to get used to sleeping alone in there own bed w/o mommy. I am no expert and every child is different.. all my kids are,, what works for one does not the other. But for my twins they know mommy does not open that door until morning. I have sat with my back against there door before and cried while they screamed and knocked on there doors and this was when I changed there cribs into toddler beds.. it was new to them. I did this about 4 days ago and now I only hear them knocking at the door for a few minutes and then when I hear nothing I crack the door to check to see if they fell asleep in the beds and so far they have. As for my almost 3 year old son and my 4 year old daughter... well they are going to be sleeping in my bed until there daddy gets back from deployment.. I cant handle the tantrums from them and they both have different rooms which makes it impossible to keep them in there rooms and I dont believe in locking there doors or putting up a gate to where they cant get out.. that will freak a child out. Just know that you should really get them used to there room and there own bed before the age of 1.. things will be alot smoother.

Kat - posted on 11/20/2011

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Liz- your right about so many factors. When you said about reading when they go to sleep, tht is it they are sleeping through the night. This is night 7,although its getting shorter every night before he puts himself to sleep, he is still waking up again and again. 6 times last night! Grrr buthe def has 2 molars getting ready to slice through. Poor babe. These are the times that i dont know if i should go and pick him up or not. What do you guys think? From what Charolette

says, i think i should wait, right?! I get so confused with little sleep. Im sure you ALL know what i mean.



Hey Mercedes, love the name by the way. I tried putting a shirt in but he is so mad he throws it out. Im So nervous to get near him, in the fear that he is in a light sleep and will wake him up, otherwise i might consider putting it in before i go to bed. I wonder if he can smell me across the room? I am doing it little by little. At first the crib was next to the bed but now its hidden across the room behind a tapastry.Grrrrrr 35 mintues asleep,awake from sleep cycle and crying a little. :( I CANT WAIT for him to even wake up just 1 or 2 times briefly. 6 was alot last night. I guess i have to think of it as, the more he wakes between sleep cycles, fusses, it just gives him more practice. THANK YOU so much other mamas for all of your support. :) ♥

Mercedes - posted on 11/20/2011

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hey i completely understand and no u are not a terrible mom...my almost 1 yr old has also been waking up crying in the middle of the night ...i read his either teething if his touching his mouth alot , or he senses that im not right next to him , bc i got to this habit of falling asleep with him but been trying and trying so hard to let him sleep by himself, so wat my older sister told me that my husband and I should were a t-shirt for a whole day tell our scent is on it (not sweat) so he'll smell both of us and sleep through the night...for the past 3 weeks he has not wakin up till 8am on the dot...i think its just the sense of knowing that we are there right next to him makes him feel safe through the night...try it, hopefully it works for you...

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Everything i read says when they eventually go to sleep that is it, they are sleeping through the night.



I don't think nightweaning/getting them in their own room at this age is a guarantee of STTN. There are just too many other factors besides sleep associations/breastfeeding -- like molars, walking, talking, mental development, intensified separation anxiety.



It's just hard. :( My son is 14mo and still wakes up several times a night.

Kat - posted on 11/20/2011

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Yes Liz, i actually used that method while still co-sleeping to get him off the boob for night weaning. Thanks Ange and Charlotte for saying im not a bad mom. I do feel even more horrible when i put my hand on his tummy to quickly pat him and walk out and he heart is racing! It worries me so much that he thinks i am abandoning him, and isnt he indefinelty having the stress hormone flying through his body when he is screaming bloody murder? So when your kids were teething Charlotte, still stay away? He seems to have 2 molars that are trying to get through the skin. He has an awful lot of wake ups last night. I went to him once when he was screaming hysterically and when i initally walked away he was pissed, but calmed down quickly. Did i mention he is in our room still? I put up a tapastrie wall. Our room is pretty big. I really want to keep him in our room till spring, because his room is freezing for some reason, and we have pets and i dont want to keep the door opened. Will this be a WHOLE OTHER screaming time when i move him into his room? Like starting over? I was hoping that when he gets good at sleeping through the night, that it will be easier for him. Hoping for 18 months to get him in there. What do you think Charlotte? I thought he was ready for one nap too, but realize with all this OT from not getting to sleep on time, he should prob. get 2 naps again huh? Should i put him down an hour or so before is bedtime? He has been crying for about an hour the past 2 nights, which he has been going to sleep, obviously over his bedtime.Wht do you think

Ange - posted on 11/20/2011

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I hear that is a bad thing to let them do the cry it out thing so I am unsure if I would want to let my son do this but Charlotte you say it is ok to do this and that it works tell me more about this please see I am new at this my son is now 16 months old and I have to cuddle him to sleep then I can move him into his crib..... and he is starting to get older and heavier and it would be nice for him to fall to sleep in his own bed instead of ours.... and Kat you are not even close to being a terrible mom I know people that are terrible mom's and you don't compare.... so do not be so hard on your self...

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