no friends sense u had kids

Joanna - posted on 03/21/2010

Well I have friends that have kids and alot of them still poofed into thin air. I was on bedrest for the last month or so of my pregnancy and I couldn't even pay someone to come hang out with me during the day while my husband worked. It was our son who helped me and still helps me after school and he's 11. I've had only a handful of people visit us and my daughter is almost 6 months old. It makes it worse for me because I've been suffering from PPD. The one person that I talk to everyday is my Mom, she lives maybe 12 blocks away but can't go upstairs and we live on the 2nd floor with no elevators. Sometimes you just have to cut ties with peopl if they don't care, I am.

Victoria - posted on 03/21/2010

I know that one! none of my old friends have kids and we have moved away from them all anyway. I am mostly in the house and we stay in the country so there is nobody around. Sure makes you feel like a bit of a leper at times!

Rita - posted on 03/21/2010

I feel that too..

Kathleen - posted on 03/21/2010

I feel the same way... Although most of my friends were pregnant also around the time i was...All our kids are going to be around the same age, and i still feel like i lost everyone...

Lisa - posted on 11/30/2009

well ive tryed the facebook thing and ive got friends there from school but most of the girls i went to school with have kids and its still the same theres two girls that we were really close and no its like im not even there anymore i dont know how to handle it all im just so depressed from not having girlfreinds it sux so thanks for the input

Sabrina - posted on 11/30/2009

Quoting Rebecca:

I'm the same as you, the friends I had before I was a mum have totally disappeared. The best thing I ever did, though, was join a mother's group. It was organised by my child health clinic and the friends I've made are wonderful. We see each other regularly, either all of us or just two or three of us. If your child is too old for you to join one of these groups, how about taking him/her to a playgroup or kid's play gym. You're bound to make friends there, you just have to take a deep breath and start some conversations. Good luck!

Bec :)

I posted something for the woman asking but I get that its  tough trusting people(I have had some crappy people like my best friend since I was 11  and I am 28 and I have an 11monthold and I have now spoken to her 2 times since I got pregnant )and my sister is pretty nuts and said she was going to cal DCF and lie about me because she is pissed that I am married and take care of my son and she is total loser and addict with 2 kids. Its hard to trust but maybe just try slowly I have been trying and it is slow and go. But I know there are messed up people out ther(my own sister...HELLO).Don't lose hope because I am trying not too.

Sabrina - posted on 11/30/2009

Its totally normal for any FRIEND WITHOUT A CHILD TO DISSAPEAR.Its not fair or right but you know what that's there loss.I have realized that anyone I can be friends with are moms too. I have reconnected with 4 friends I went to school with on face book and I hadn't talked to them in forever and they have been wonderful and these were friends I wasn't close to like the ones who just say hi once every 2 weeks.Realize that its gonna happen and your friendships will change and that's good because only another mom can understand how important your child is and be understanding 100% that you can cancel plans without notice and can be late or stressed or WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR CHILD.People without kids don't get it.You will be fine.

Ladean - posted on 11/26/2009

OMG, Yes! It seems like all my friends who don't have kids just fizzle out and dissappear......UNTIL they have kids of their own....then they come back around. It's kind of annoying really, lol.

Courtney - posted on 11/26/2009

often friendswithout kids just don't understand what you're going through and how your life as changed. and friends with kids are just as busy as you are. go online and look for a local MOM's club. they usually have playgroups for each group twice a month and plan a mom's night out (usually dinner). our group also does holiday parties and has lots of committees to join. i'm not a great conversation starter either. my twins were in the nicu for two months with anotherset of twins and i saw their mom every day. i waited unti lthe last day to finally ask about keeping in touch with her. she is now one of my best friends.

Lacey - posted on 11/26/2009

Really its better off not having them and sticking to yourself there are a lot of hurtful people out there to make others feel much pain.. Shit this woman i knew for YEARS had 4 children the best mother out there a lady lost her 2 kids and decided to take her best friends kids away from her because she was jealous ,... it worked and took the woman i new 4 years to even get visitation,,, I have 3 kids and i have no friends.... I have tuns on the net ,, but my problem is i dont trust ANYONE since my best friend at the time tried taking me to court for my daughter because she lost her daughter,,, so really its better off not trusting people... if anything go to the library with the kids or swimming classes things like that to get out of the house with the kids and meet kids there age.. as well as there parents will be there too .. you will meet people that are good and do it also because its the best way to meet people when having kids

Stephanie - posted on 11/26/2009

I felt that a lot when my twins were born; they're my firstborns. I was really housebound with two newborns and being a newly married college couple(read as really dirt poor). During the week, I called my mom a lot. :) I still do... And I got involved at church. I went to a couple of Bible study groups, served in the sunday school, attended events. I made a few good friends and kept busy. It helped a bunch, but there was still plenty of time when it was just me and the babies at home all day.
Hang in there. It doesn't feel like it, but it is a temporary condition. I like Rebecca's suggestion about a mom's group. There are a bunch of different kinds for whatever interest you and your kidlets. :) playgroups, church groups, exercise groups, etc. Finding just one friend helps a ton.

Lisa - posted on 11/25/2009

Quoting Rebecca:

I'm the same as you, the friends I had before I was a mum have totally disappeared. The best thing I ever did, though, was join a mother's group. It was organised by my child health clinic and the friends I've made are wonderful. We see each other regularly, either all of us or just two or three of us. If your child is too old for you to join one of these groups, how about taking him/her to a playgroup or kid's play gym. You're bound to make friends there, you just have to take a deep breath and start some conversations. Good luck!

Bec :)

well im not the best conversation starter im kinda bad at that and my kids are 9 7 and 7 months and where i live at the town is filled with upidy upidy ppl and if u dont have money they dont give u a look ive noticed that alot at the kids school they look at u like ur a piece of whit trash so i dont know what to do thanks for the advise anyway

Rebecca - posted on 11/25/2009

I'm the same as you, the friends I had before I was a mum have totally disappeared. The best thing I ever did, though, was join a mother's group. It was organised by my child health clinic and the friends I've made are wonderful. We see each other regularly, either all of us or just two or three of us. If your child is too old for you to join one of these groups, how about taking him/her to a playgroup or kid's play gym. You're bound to make friends there, you just have to take a deep breath and start some conversations. Good luck!



Bec :)