No offense......

Christy - posted on 04/16/2010 ( 63 moms have responded )

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This is absolutely not posted to offend anyone. I just wanted to state that some folks need to use spell check. The are a lot of instances where it is difficult to understand the post based on misspelling/typos, making it hard to give advice. Thanks!!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Felecia - posted on 04/17/2010

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I think this is just rude!!!


I know I have a hard time because I have to write fast so I can go chase my two kid's around the house so I make mistake's.. Like every one does. If someone don't understand something I have wrote they could just ask!!
I think this site isn't a grammar/typing test it should be concidered a TRUE blessing to get help from other mothers regardless of skills..

My questions for all of you would be..
Would you NOT take advice from a mother who did misspell, or not use proper punctuation??
Would you NOT want another mother to reply to your post for help because you've happen to make a mistake on your grammar?
My personal opinion is 95% of all replies you can still understand even if three or four words are misspelled, wrong punctuation, or if they have runon paragraphs. You can still get the point of intended advice, support or opinion.

I just think this post is a little discriminatory and is not the point of what Circle of Moms is here for..
Was it to call people out and have them embarrassed than maybe not want to respond on some thing they would have GOOD advice on for a mother in need?
I am not posting this reply to demean your character nor diminish your pet peeve.
I'm simply voicing that everybody should look at the bigger picture here about why this site was made, and maybe keep the negativity to yourself..

My goal here is to keep it more positive so we can get other mothers who are in need or would be able to give advice from their own experience a free place to do so without worry of any judgement..
May all of you have a great week and enjoy your bundles of love..
God bless ox

Fleur - posted on 04/19/2010

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There are some people who can not help it , have you ever heard of DYSLEXIA ,hope you never have a child with it or have to live with it, Trust me it sucks

Jenn - posted on 04/17/2010

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OK, I'm going to be brutally honest. When I see a post that has a lot of spelling and grammatical errors, or sentences that run on and on, or heck, sometimes they just don't make sense - I have a really hard time taking them seriously. I wouldn't want to take advice from them because I assume they are not very intelligent. Is that mean? Is that judgmental? Yep. But I'm being honest, and it's how I feel. Sorry. I'm not trying to offend anyone or hurt their feelings, but I'm not into being all wishy-washy and sugar-coating everything just to be friends with everyone.

Trinity - posted on 04/19/2010

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I'm sure I am guilty of this! But when you have 14 month old twins and hardly any time to yourself, sometimes quick typing is all I have time for. lol :)

Alicia - posted on 04/17/2010

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Felecia: the title of this thread was "No Offense..." Not to speak for the author of this post but she was merely stating her pet peeve & several of us happen to agree with her! She was not rude nor was she making fun of anyone. She was actually being helpful, by suggesting that some people would benefit by using the spell check feature in their posts so they could better get their point across.

My personal preference (and the way I choose to represent myself online) is to use proper grammar, spelling & punctuation. Do I proof-read 100% of what I type before I post? No, but I TRY to because I care about communicating effectively & to the best of my ablility.

This is hardly a negative issue. No one is being attacked. I think you're overreacting a bit.

And in answer to your questions: Yes, I will read posts that have errors in them (& that would not prevent me from taking someone's advice either), but I vastly prefer to read posts that are well-written, use proper spelling, grammar & punctuation and are brief. I still don't see how this is a bad thing????

This conversation has been closed to further comments

63 Comments

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Jamie - posted on 03/05/2013

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I had to come read this just because it started with No offense....this is absolutely not posted to offend anyone. Which, unfortunately means that the next statement is bound to offend someone.

Spell check doesn't catch everything. Grammar checkers are unreliable. And English is a beast of a language to learn. But yeah, judgments get made based on ability to communicate.

Hope - posted on 04/30/2010

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Lisa I had a english teacher that had lived over seas teaching english to people. She was the same way and when she came back here it was hard for her. You are so correct about English language. I recall when I was a child that my parents used to say "aint's not a word so your not going to use it." well now it is. So every thing is forever changing. Good point you made :)

Jessica - posted on 04/30/2010

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One of my favorite Hollywood directors is Japanese; Ray Prado have you heard of him? He is married to Sandra Bullocks sister.

*Lisa* - posted on 04/30/2010

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Nah the incorrect spelling and grammar doesn't really annoy me as much as people griping over insignificant matters ;) But OMG the english language is HORRIBLE to learn! I had to teach English in Japan for a while to kids and adults and sometimes they would ask me questions that I just had NO answer for. Grammatical questions were the worst! It's so hard to explain how English works! So I totally understand why even we native speakers spell things wrong and make grammatical errors.

Hope - posted on 04/30/2010

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Christy, I do not think you were trying to upset anyone. However if some one picked up on something that you have issues with then how would that make you feel? I am no good at spelling and yet I am on the honor roll in college. Now if your going to do something that good spelling is required, then I would hope you could spell. :) When doing reports I use spell check and re check grammar at least twice, and then have friends check it for me. But when it has nothing to do with school, I do not care nore do I have the time to put that type of effort into it. I have other things in life that draw my attention and that I am very good at. If spelling and grammar is something that you are good at I can understand how it would bug you. I am the same way when it comes to things that I excel at. However a big difference is that I would never point it out to someone. Why would I want to hurt some one like that?

Nikkole- Don't let your lack of spelling or grammar stop you from going to school. Trust me when I say, collage is not like high school. I am now 33 years old and sadly waited until I was 32 before I started to go too collage and I let my fear of others stop me from doing something for myself. It is sad that I let that hold me back. So don't let it hold you back. There are good people out there and good schools. I do have friends check my spelling and grammar and I have found that they never make me feel dumb. They come to me for information that they know I am good at and I would never make them feel bad about it. So its a two way street and there is such a huge world out there.. people will love you and take you as your are. Those are the people you need to find and keep by your side. The others? Well! Who cares?

Christy - posted on 04/29/2010

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Neither do I, that I know of.

I didn't mean to make anyone mad! Spell check is a nice thing, though. I totally get some folks may not have English as a first language, or have a learning disability. This post wasn't aimed at you! This was meant to be a quick note and somehow I messed it up with my poor grammar, so it's all good. :)

Leatonya - posted on 04/22/2010

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I have question.Where is grammar check? i have spell check,but no grammar check!

Clara - posted on 04/22/2010

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Also going back to use the edit application can help..But I guess if some Mums are only on here for a brief look, then they post quickly and dash off..They may think its understandable enough then they leave the comment as is..I can spell farely well but when commenting, I suppose I just briefly proof and think that will do..lol..But yeah, if your grammar and spelling is soooo bad then yes what you are saying could be a problem lol..

Nikkole - posted on 04/21/2010

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jessica is so right!!!!!!!! know one know what we go thought every day, and what we want thought at school. i hated asking people how to spell a smiple. Or when we have to check some one esle paper for spelling errors bc the kids would say stuff to me. what becky said made me cry a little bc she made me feel stupid. it was people like her that made me hate school sometimes, and its people like her that make me afraid go to go college bc i dont want to be put in a class room with them.

Beck - posted on 04/21/2010

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i especially hate it when people use shortened words, instead. eg lyk, instead of like, those posts are a pet hate!!!

Cathy - posted on 04/21/2010

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No kidding! I think that everyone has their own minor typos but what are some people going to do when their kids get into school and need help with spelling and meanings of their/they're/there, where/were/wear/ware seems to be a big one too lately! I know that we have spell check but just because it's spelled correctly doesn't mean it is the correct definition :)

Kim - posted on 04/21/2010

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I for one know that I can’t spell and have improper English! I try to use spell and grammar check! I am not offended by this post in any way I actually agree with most of what has been said here! I don’t like to read posts that go on and on without punctuation. And it gets on my nerves to see so many spelling and grammar errors! I also don't like to read "text type" it dirves me insane!

Becky - posted on 04/21/2010

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I'm going to speak my mind on this and it may rile up a few people but this is honestly how I see it. If you do not like brutal honesty then don't read this if so then procede with caution.

Here is my impression on this..."A person will get more respect if you can spell properly, if not take a hike and go play primate games with all the other less intellectual people in the world. I can't be bothered with such people who can not spell....why don't you go back to elementary school and learn how to spell! I can spell and that makes me a far more superior person than you! People out there are too lazy to even use a spell checker. The NERVE!"

I have come across too many people who kvetch about spelling! You know what!? Most people can't spell. Is it my right to run their nose in it and go Tsk Tsk Tsk? NOPE! There are greater problems in this world than to whine about spelling, punctuation and grammar of the other person.

The more I am in the world the more petty meaningless drivel gets spewed out of people's mouths about nothing. It is like watching two children fight back and forth. We are all good at one thing or another but it doesn't give us the right to hold ourselves superior over others nor is it right to expect the world to be perfect like you in what you do good. Folks wonder why there is so much hate and rejection in the world. We live in an EGO based society where people think they are right and the other person needs therapy or some kind of help.

I'm off my high horse and now I'm leaving this group.

[deleted account]

Haha! I think you have balls......I agree with you though; it's one of my pet peeves! I personally think that grammatical errors are worse than spelling errors though.....incorrect grammar can make it really difficult to understand someone's message!

Jessica - posted on 04/20/2010

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Hi another dyslexic mom here. I'm not taking offense to your post. I'm more addressing other comments made after and to maybe bring some insight from the other side.

One can't even begin to understand the difficulties of being dyslexic if you have never struggled with it. In school for me grammar wasn't really taught to me as most of my education was missed because back then, and even still now, some seem to think that having a learning disability equals stupidity. There are varies of dyslexia just as there are varies of Autism. Some can work work work and mostly cover up that they have it. Then others work just as hard and never are able to over come any of it and it's very obvious of their struggles.

Sometimes I can't think of how to even begin spelling the most simple words and spell check doesn't pick up on a lot of my mistakes. It's taken me 10 years online to get this good. As writing is really the only way to be understood online. It was a lot of work. I'm still far from perfect. I've always been very self-conscious of it as I come from a family with very book smart people. I have a lot of cousins around the same age as me and I was teased by them as much but hurt more as others in my life.

Spelling doesn't make you smart and not being able to spelling doesn't make you stupid.

And to all the dyslexic moms here keep on posting and working on it we can't get any worst :)

[deleted account]

I have seen so many comments like those but i have never found any that i didnt get the main gist of what the mom was asking.:-)

Jessica - posted on 04/19/2010

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Some people may speak another language, like Spanish. I think that any attempt is a good one.

Sharon - posted on 04/19/2010

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After I have typed something I always read it through again before I post it. I also do that with all of my emails and letters as it is easy to miss words. Spell check doesnt work because it doesnt pick up some words like you have done above in writing "the" instead of "there". Always best to read it back yourself :)

Len - posted on 04/19/2010

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A little advice try ieSpell, I SUCK at spelling but I also don't want to look retarded on the internet so I downloaded it and I LOVE it!!!! I've had mine for 4 years. Google it and download it goes to the Internet explorer tool bar and say when you type a response you go up there and click on it it will spell check just like any other program.

Chelle - posted on 04/19/2010

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I like your post and i admire it Christy. I also like the way you have worded it and i think it definitely is not offensive. I have to agree with a lot of you too. I am a bit of a grammar, spelling natzi, to an extent. I understand that not everyone can express themselves as well as the other and by no means want to discourage them from writitng. But please where possible don't use this lazy text slang. It just makes people sound a lot less intelligent than they are.

Pamela - posted on 04/19/2010

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Oh Jodi, my apologies. I should have read your post first as I seem to have just reiterated your previously made point. Good work :D

Pamela - posted on 04/19/2010

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I agree it can be annoying but keep in mind, not everyone has a knack for language, spelling and grammar, not everyone has had the same schooling opportunities and English is not everyone's first language. For those who think it is just 'cool' to speak in text message slang or that annoying new culture language kids use these days....just please don't :)

Nikkole - posted on 04/19/2010

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i cant help it have dyslexic bad!!!!!!!. and my spell check doesnt work when im on the internet. its also hard when you have a 6 mouth old on you lap too!

Jessica - posted on 04/19/2010

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Yal our crakin me up. LOL... jk. Yeah, it totally drives me nuts too! I'm a grammar/spelling queen. It is a HUGE pet peeve for me. I guess I just have to get over it though! =)

Jodi - posted on 04/19/2010

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I myself do not find this post offensive, but I can see how it could turn off other people from freely posting question or offering up sound advice if they are not confident in their spelling or grammar. Not everyone on COM has finished highschool or gone to college. A lot of people are from different countries and are translating to a second language for our sake. For some people, English is a second language. My kudos to them and I sincerely hope that comments like this don't scare them away from participating in a GREAT support network!

Not to say you can't be annoyed, but perhaps this post wasn't neccesary to put other mother's on the spot when they simply can't help it...

Sabrina - posted on 04/19/2010

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HaHa! I agree! I'm dyslexic - and when people can't spell it makes things even harder!

Laurel - posted on 04/19/2010

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LOL!!! I will do my best, but I don't have time to spell check!! My typo's are usually caused by someone grabbing my arm in the middle of a keystroke!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

[deleted account]

Spelling errors and typos do not bother me--most of us are sitting here typing with one hand holding a little one in the other! It would take FOREVER to type well under those conditions, and most of us only have a minute or two at a time to read some posts and reply. I can usually figure out the post if there are a few misspellings scattered through an otherwise well written post, heck, sometimes I don't even notice them.

Now the text style posts with no vowels and numbers inserted for parts of words, that's another story, they used to really annoy me and I'd just skip them b/c they look lazy and are hard to understand. BUT, I was talking to my cousin the other day, and the only way she can access COM is on her phone or at school b/c they do not have a home computer, so now I feel bad and I'm going to stop ignoring those....I imagine it's pretty hard to type an entire post on a phone, and I bet they don't have spell check...

Amber - posted on 04/19/2010

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My friends always laugh at me and call me the grammar police....haha. They can always tell, without looking at the name, when I text them. I refuse to use "text talk" and use full sentences with correct punctuation.
Honestly though, as long as I can decipher what you are writing, I'll keep reading it.

Lisa - posted on 04/19/2010

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I find it easiest to have word open when writing the replies. After I am done, a simple click, copy and paste.

Marietta - posted on 04/19/2010

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Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on!!

Man my fire fox speller was going off with this paragraph. Good on you Sevine! Has anyone actually considered that the moms with the errors & txt language are busy moms? Yes i can spell and use grammar, i also have 2 little ones running around while i am browsing circle of moms, only time i can as by the time they sleep i want to sleep too and sleep always wins. I like this site so i browse when i can. My point being is that when you have little ones running around you just want to have your say and get on with the next task, and the text language doesn't bother me, if i don't understand it i build a bridge and don't rack my brain thinking what could that be? because if i did i would have gone off this site a long time ago.

Sevine - posted on 04/19/2010

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Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on!!

Thought to give you all a laugh. Cheer up ladies!

Hope - posted on 04/19/2010

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hey now...... (lol)
Not offended, but I know I am one who does not spell good, or use correct grammar and I understand the perplxity(hehe) in trying to understand my imperfections, but do ask that you try and look at the bigger picture of life. Its not going to matter about spelling or grammar. We are all on here to try and understand and I feel that by pointing it out you may be pushing someone away that may need help and understanding in life. Not an english lesson!
Sorry I hope I did not offend you..

Dawn - posted on 04/19/2010

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i think that most people are smart enough to put 2 and 2 together and make 4. what that means is most people are smart enough to figure out what someone is trying to say even if there are a few spelling errors. if it makes you that annoyed... well then don't read it any further. thats what i do . besides, it's not that people cannot spell, it's that some type so fast that they make typing mistakes. if circle of moms made a spot on here where one can quickly correct spelling errors it would make it so much easier to prevent them and to prevent some from misunderstanding what is being expressed

[deleted account]

Lols I can't stand spelling mistakes or incorrect grammar. Like people who say "There going to the shops" - it's "they're" for God's sake! Learn proper English!

Deniz - posted on 04/18/2010

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I was always the Spelling Bee Queen and married a brilliant man, who can't spell to save his life---huge pet peeve of mine! However, I agree with some of you, who are a little self-conscious and don't want to have to be concerned when seeking &/or giving advice to other moms about their posts---"Circle of Moms" could also be considered, in my view, a "Circle of Trust!" So disliking spelling/grammar errors myself (even received a BA in English, lol!), I truly realize that many people can't help it, nor does it concern them, and that's totally fine for me in this forum! And spell check rarely helps those folks, like my hubby, who truly doesn't even know the appropriate way to approach some words. That's ok, folks! Those who don't want to deal with those posts have every right to not read them...Let's all just try to be understanding of others' limitations & truly embrace the circle concept!! I tend to be long-winded, perhaps my weakness, lol! Forgive me!! :) Having said that, the lady venting was polite and respectful, and she has every right to feel the way she does! :)

Andrea - posted on 04/18/2010

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I really don't mind to much if the post has spelling errors... I am a horrible at spelling and as long as I can understand what is trying to be said I think it is okay. Now the text style post I really do NOT understand at all! I have never be text savey and truly do not understand what is being said at all! After about 3 or 4 times trying to read it I do the a sigh and move on LOL but mostly do the eye roll and skip it!!!

Cindy - posted on 04/18/2010

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Lol! This thread is pretty funny actually. She is just venting and probably is just a little annoyed by it. People shouldn't be so offended that she is annoyed, because it's really not a big deal.

Kelly - posted on 04/18/2010

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I agree; I can certainly look over a typo or two, as everyone slips on the keyboard now and again, but the "text type" is what makes posts hard to understand in my opinion. And no, if I have to work too hard to decipher what the other mom is trying to say, then I probably will not take that advice. I don't find this thread to be petty or mean, just in my opinion, I think it is intended to be helpful.

Shelley - posted on 04/18/2010

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Well you had better stay away from my posts then. I don't sweat the small stuff.

Bethany - posted on 04/18/2010

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hahaha, this thread is funny. I don't like long replies, and replies that are all one long paragraph. I'm usually tired, and can be a bit impatient sometimes, so I like short, suscinct replies, but that's just me. (did I spell that correctly?)

Rachel - posted on 04/17/2010

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Can we just leave it be? PLEASE!!!!? We are not back in high school. I came on this site to learn about child-related info, NOT to hear a petty cat fight. Please let my entry be the last one. Let everyone enjoy this site. Thanks. ;-)

Medic - posted on 04/17/2010

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@ Alicia- Haha I did and I can't believe that,just shows that I should keep my mouth shut. Oh well someone always looks like an ass somedays and today is seeming to be my day.

Alicia - posted on 04/17/2010

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I agree Jennifer - the people who post like they are texting are the worst! I feel like I'm reading the posts of my 14-year old niece sometimes! Spell check & grammar check are there for a reason - and if you know you aren't the world's best speller then by all means take the 5 seconds to use it!! I also take a pass on the ridiculously long posts with no paragraphs or little punctuation - they give me a headache.

Oh, and just to be a picky witch - both Jennifer & Breanne: you spelled "intelligent" wrong!! LOL!! ;o) Just had to add that, seemed so appropriate on this thread!!! No offense meant, ladies!!

[deleted account]

Jennifer- just because a person has trouble spelling doesn't mean they are not intellegent. Many very successful and bright people have learning disabilities.
I do agree that a lot of people need to proof-read their posts, though.

Medic - posted on 04/17/2010

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Tanya- Hince the spell check, if you can't spell I'm sure you would know that and do everything possible to appear to be an intellegent person. To add to the spelling errors I can't stand when it is written like they are texting their best friend.

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