Not my monkey not my circus..step parents should get paid to care for kids

Stephanie - posted on 07/07/2017 ( 5 moms have responded )

2

0

1

If your significant other is paying child care cost for children along with child support. You care for those kids while both parents work. Yes! You should be paid. I didn't have these kids..legal I have no obligation to them and my significant other doesn't take care of my 13 year old. Start bawking now folks. We my soon to be husband and I agreed to these terms way before he presented the ring. I would be glad to "help" but I will not be obligated to take care of "kids" when he and the ex are working. It says I quote if there is 3rd party care of the children its in the in trust of the father to be allowed to choose daycare. I'm at home and I care for the kids amazingly. Step parents have the right to be paid for services. I did my job as a divorced single mom of a 23 year old 19 year old and a very independent 13 year old. I adore the kids but it's NNOT MY MONKEY NOT MY CIRCUS. I will marry a father of children but not my children and I want step parents to know its ok not to be a live in babysitter nor free daycare for the ex even if the ex doesn't agree or have her new guy get paid. It's a personal choice and a decision you make with your significant other.

5 Comments

View replies by

Michelle - posted on 07/08/2017

4,610

8

3247

So you were a single Mother of 2 GROWN UP children and a teenager "I did my job as a divorced single mom of a 23 year old 19 year old and a very independent 13 year old."
That's not hard.
I agree that if your step children find out you are being paid to look after them they will rebel against you and you will lose all respect. They will then treat you like the hired help instead of the Mother figure you are.
If that's what you want, don't come complaining to us when it all goes wrong.

Priscilla - posted on 07/08/2017

9

0

1

I agree with ev Witt. It's one thing if you are a girlfriend or fling, but marriage includes responsibilities not just to each other but also to both your (plural) children.

Once you marry, you inherit rights and responsibilities not just of possessions and properties but as a family. You become a family unit. If you marry the father or mother, you become a step parent.. that's a responsibility you accept when you say "I do".

Ev - posted on 07/08/2017

8,183

7

919

{{{If your significant other is paying child care cost for children along with child support. You care for those kids while both parents work. Yes! You should be paid.}}}
How does this figure into the equation of being married to the man and a step mom to the kids? When you accept the man and his children and become their step mom via marriage and so forth, you take on all of it as if they had been your own to begin with. I have never heard of such a thing as being paid to care for the step children. That is like a slap in the face. If those kids find out step mom is paid to watch them, care for them and do other things for them, that is going to make them feel rotten. You are not a babysitter or caregiver that is paid to take care of these kids. You are a “mother figure” in their lives and that is a different thing. I think you had better look up the definitions of caregiver, babysitter, and step mom and “mother figure”.
{{ I didn't have these kids..legal I have no obligation to them and my significant other doesn't take care of my 13 year old. Start bawking now folks. We my soon to be husband and I agreed to these terms way before he presented the ring. I would be glad to "help" but I will not be obligated to take care of "kids" when he and the ex are working. It says I quote if there is 3rd party care of the children its in the in trust of the father to be allowed to choose daycare.}}
It is your business how you guys handle things but again, being paid to be a parental figure to kids is nuts.

{{ I'm at home and I care for the kids amazingly.}}
So if you are at home with the kids, you are also taking care of the house chores, grocery shopping, meal prep, and other things---are you going to be expected to paid for that too?

{{ Step parents have the right to be paid for services. I did my job as a divorced single mom of a 23 year old 19 year old and a very independent 13 year old. I adore the kids but it's NNOT MY MONKEY NOT MY CIRCUS. I will marry a father of children but not my children and I want step parents to know its ok not to be a live in babysitter nor free daycare for the ex even if the ex doesn't agree or have her new guy get paid. It's a personal choice and a decision you make with your significant other.}}
You are sounding like so many others that want to be with the man but do not want the responibility of the children. Once you make that commitment to be his wife—you also accept the aspect of being a step mother. AND THAT INCLUDES care of the kids.

Michelle - posted on 07/08/2017

4,610

8

3247

I agree with Dove.
I would never pay my husband to help my out with my children and he wouldn't accept any payment. By marrying me he agreed to help me raise the children.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms