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overbearing mother-in-law!!!

Robin - posted on 09/03/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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i need ideas about what to do/say to my husbands mother. she acts like our son is actually her son. it started out with little things like saying that "we need to get a new family picture because we have a baby now" and keeps getting worse as the months go by. now she tells the kids at the daycare she runs when they ask who is this, that "this is my baby" and texts my husband to remind us to get a babysitter and who we should use as a babysitter!!! i am so frustrated! i think she does it because she doesn't want to be old and thinks she's too young to be a grandma (52) and it doesn't help that she does still have a 13yr old daughter. but that doesn't change the fact that my husband and i are perfectly capable of raising OUR son without anyone's help. i don't want to be rude or keep him from seeing her. we are a very close family and live close too but this has to stop. help!

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5 Comments

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Michelle - posted on 09/05/2011

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If you can't tell her how you feel then when she offers advice/tells you who to get to babysit, just say Ok or Thanks and do what you want to do.

I would suggest telling her though. The next time she tells you what to do say you had other ideas. She probably thinks she's helping you and if you don't tell her otherwise how is she going to know? You don't have to be nasty to her, just explain why you have made your choice. It might help to show her that your way "works" just as well as hers.

Robin - posted on 09/04/2011

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i have talked to my husband and he does feel the same way.
i posted this because neither of us could think of what to say to her.
apparently this is very common (since i've recently seen a ton of posts about this) i can only hope you are right and she'll grow out of this phase. but in the mean time it's really irritating. i don't want to have to wait 3 yrs for her to back off.

Lisa - posted on 09/03/2011

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I used to stew over that kind of stuff, now I just say, "Thanks" or "Yeah, I know" and change the subject. I usually do thing with the dulled, blandest look on my face that I can muster.

Montana - posted on 09/03/2011

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It will settle as the years go by. I had a BIG problem with my MIL up until my 1st child was 3 (she almost 5 now). I think it makes them feel old and probably makes them question how they really feel about their age n all that. I havent had issues with her in almost 2 years. I think the time has made her look at me and really start to respect the fact that things arent done the same as they used to be. HER kids never babysat or anything like that so she was scheduling jobs for me n all that. I had to tell her "I have been babysitting since I was 12. Im not clueless." Its hard but my advice is to be really patient and time will make things easier. In my case, my MIL wanted to be their "mother". NOW she realizes being GRANDMA is so much better. She can spoil them then send them home :)

LEAH - posted on 09/03/2011

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Whenever I watch the show Everybody Loves Raymond I ask myself what would I do if I were in that position? I honestly think the first thing you shoudl do is speak to yoru husband about her behavior. Tell him what you do not like that she is doing and tell him how it makes you feel. I wonder if he feels the same way? He just may. I would tell him to talk to her first, if he chose not to I would let him know that you are going to have a talk with her.

Do not be afraid to rock the boat when it comes to your child! I hope everthing works out for you guys because I can only imagine how you must feel!

Good luck Robin!

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