Pacifiers. When and How?

Jahna - posted on 05/20/2011

I have just taken my 3 year old dummy off her and she was fantastic about it. For the first 3 mornings we left a little present on her bedside table, dont think this would work with your little one though! I just had my daughter to the dentist for a checkup and he said she had beautiful teeth...so dont stress about what the doctor say, they are full of crap! I was terrified about taking if off her but she just seeemd to know it was time. I also have a 18 month old daughter and she only has them for sleeptime...I dont intend taking them off her anytime soon. Your daughter is still a little baby...if she needs it to soothe her to sleep then so be it!!! It is hard enough being a mum without doctors imput.

Alicia - posted on 04/05/2011

I took my middle child's paci at 11 months as well as the bottle all in one day, she cried for the first couple of days and then she was done. My eldest I took it away much earlier but the second child seemed to be more attached to it. Your DR is only trying to get you to break her habit now, I have seen paci teeth and they are gross, and they never did go back to normal, but thumb sucking can be just as damaging to the teeth an cause major damage to the point of needing braces to correct the adult teeth because they would suck the thumb in their sleep. I would say give her a little more time and try and get her to leave it in the bed or have a special spot for her to keep it. MY eldest would sleep with a empty bottle once I broke her of it and she slept with an empty bottle for almost 6 months before she got sick of it. I hope you find what works for you, when your dr asks tell him you are working on it and are trying to slowly take her off of it because she gets so upset.

Jessica - posted on 04/04/2011

wow, I didn't realize giving a chil a pacifier until 3 years old was such a common parctice. thats crazy. My daughter is 17 months and I took hers away a little over a week ago. I put them all in a basket and hid them in case it didnt work for some reason. She is doing fine. As long as she doesnt see them. Of course it takes me a little longer toget her down, and of course shes cried... but it was all over about 3 to 4 days after I did it.. and at night, when she goes to put the paci back in her mouth and it is not there she just goes to sleep. I didn't do it because of hr teeth, i did it because I cannot stand seeing 2,3,4 year olds with pacis.. no offense to the other moms out there who do it.. It's just my personal preference. Hope it helped!

Angela - posted on 04/03/2011

I took my daughters 2 months before age 2 and she didnt have pacifier teeth. Her ped. said there is a 3 days rule with most kids. Day 1 is the worst days 2 not so bad and day 3 they are usually just about over it. This was true in our case. Day 1 the trash men took her paci. it was bad no one got sleep. Day 2 she cried herself to sleep at nap and betime but she did sleep. day 3 she asked for it but didnt cry and for about a month she asked for it and she really hated the trash men for a long time. LOL For my son when he was 11months he got a bad cold and refused it so I saw an opportunity and never gave it back to him and he never asked for it back.

Sarah-Anne - posted on 04/03/2011

My daughter turned 2 a couple weeks ago and is addicted to her paci. we talked to both our doctor and dentist and they both said that we should worry too much about it until she's 3. a paci is better than a thumb, since you can't cut her thumb off to get her to stop. a paci is also better than putting everything else in her mouth and choking or getting sick. we are slowly limiting when she gets to have her paci. we've also gone thru the non-stop screaming, her record is about ten minutes shy of 4 hours. Another doctor in our medical group said to maybe let her cry it out for a night or two and that she shouldn't cry much more than 30 minutes. Apparently my daughter is the most stubborn child this other doctor has ever met. i've heard when a child is between 2 1/2 and 3 it will be easier because they learn the art of bartering. i'm hoping i can get her to exchange her paci for something else she wants more.

Anna - posted on 04/03/2011

Both my kids were binkie babies. My son used a binkie until he was about 3 and there was no movement from his teeth. My daughter used them until she was 2 and her teeth moved, but they moved right back into the right position as soon as we took the binkies away. It was really hard on me to take the binkies away. My kids did better than I thought they would. I told my daughter that the binkie fairy needed them back for the babies. I took them all one night and threw them away, the binkie fairy left my daughter a present and she was ok after a couple of days. I thought it would be harder than it was, once my children knew that the binkies were gone they were ok. I also think that 12 months is still really young and even if the teeth move they will move right back. As long as there gone by 2years your fine.

Myia - posted on 04/02/2011

I have been doing the gradual disapearing pacifier. First it was during the day, then in the car. Now she is just taking one when she sleeps. I got rid of it during the day by putting her in her crib whenever she wanted it, then after a while she realized hey if I want my pacifier I will be put in bed. It worked great! PS my Dr has never said anything about it, I think it is a matter of opinion, do not stress about it. Like other moms have said most kids give it up around 2 or 3 anyway.

Dee - posted on 04/01/2011

This is how I got my son off of the binkie.....as soon as he was into deep sleep I would sneak it out of his mouth. If he woke in the night, and could not console himself, I would let him suck until he feel into deep sleep, then remove it again from his mouth. It worked, give it a try, it might work for you. :)

Panfila - posted on 04/01/2011

awww...she's only 12 months. I say wait a while. She might let go off it on her own. Mine is 18 months and uses it for bed time.

Kristina - posted on 04/01/2011

Dont listen when they say they will do it by themselves. Thats not the case most times. I suggest just do it as your doing gradually limit passy time. It can cause a lot of problems for them when they are older the longer they stay on it. Its like the bottle it messes up the roof of their mouths and jacks their teeth up. My little cousin is a prime example he is 18 months and has the worst teeth ever!! Get the baby off asap! I didnt give my son a passy ever for just this reason.

Tarra - posted on 04/01/2011

All my children are pacifier babies and none of them have any damage to their teeth, what a load of crap from your doctor. My eldest got rid of his when is was 3, my little girl is almost 3 and only has it of a night now but you couldn't get it off her at all until 18mths and she now knows it she will have to say bye bye to it very soon, and my 18mth son is just starting to give it to me or let me take it for periods of time during the day. Tehy have so much to do with toilet training and learning new things and putting up with new things all the time a little bit of comfort and your sanity is really good. Would you prefer your bub to suck its fhumb instead and then have bucked teeth, i know a few of those. A dummy or pacifier is just that a comfort to them and i have not had one dentist comment negatively about their teeth, and they all have regular check ups because they all had 16 teeth by 12mths!

Allie - posted on 04/01/2011

There is no reason for you to not comfort her. That is what you are for. You are her mother and are there to comfort, protect, teach, and nurture. My daughter was around 12 months when I started having her go down for naps without her pacifier. We then had her go to sleep on her own. When I was pregnant, I worked in daycare and a girl there had a pacifier with a stuffed animal attached. If you get one of those, your child may become more comfortable with the idea of having an animal rather than a pacifier. That can help with weaning her off.



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Donna - posted on 04/01/2011

Do not worry about the teeth. Use an orthodontic one and it shouldn't cause an issue with the shape of the mouth and future teeth.
My 3 boys are all pacifieer babies, witht he older 2 giving them up at 3 1/2 - Ben volunteered a visit from the dummy fairy and with Mattie I used a trik I heard from a friend's orthodontist.
Puncture the dummy or snip a tiny bit from the end so that the suction is gone. Let them have it all they want and every few days make it a bigger hole. Eventually they will give up. Mattie took 4 days, and my latest Euan took 3 days.
Good luck, and don't worry. Mattie and Ben have big gaps and Euan doesn't - it is the shape of his mouth and not the dummy.

Bhanumati (Beryl) - posted on 03/31/2011

First of all! The idea hat your 12 month old is "manipulating" you is ridiculous! Your baby needs you and crying is the only way for her to let you know that she is having a hard time coping. Not tending her cries for 2 hours is called neglect. You ARE TRAUMATIZING your child! 10 minutes of crying every now and again is one thing but two hours!? I am not saying this to be mean but my friend you need to take a serious look at the reasons you believe that not giving you child comfort is a good idea. As far as the pacifier goes... A mom I knew cut a little bit off of the pacifier every day until there was nothing left and because it was gradual the child was fine when after a few days it was simply gone.

Melissa - posted on 03/31/2011

Babies can hold out for a VERY long time. My hubby is the same way, he always has to stop me from rushing to our son to comfort him. She CAN handle it, she just doesn't want to. Luckily our son just gave up on his pacifier at around 7 months, but at 15 months we're having a rough time having him go to bed without his cuppy. Tonight was the first night we put him to bed without one, and he cried for a while, but you just can not let it get to you. Put on headphones, go outside, do anything possible to NOT give in to her. I completely understand how heartbreaking it is to hear your baby crying out for you, especially for such a drawn out period of time, but trust me, she will be fine. I'm sure you would prefer a few nights of less sleep than a few grand worth of braces!!

Jennifer - posted on 03/31/2011

The key to this is to NOT listen to all the noise around you telling you it's wrong or you're bad for letting your kid use a pacifier! You know your child and what her needs are, not them.



MY son was the ULTIMATE pacifier baby! I think around 12mo or so we started limiting it to sleep times which slowly turned into only bedtime. At the height of our usage, he had one for his mouth, one for each hand, and one extra in case he lost track of the first one during the night! Yes, that's FOUR pacys!!!! :) I think he was just shy of 2 when we narrowed it down to 2, one for the mouth, one for the hands. He would chew on them as much as suck on them and at about 2yo he started making holes in them, which then turned to significant tears so, of course, we IMMEDIATELY got worried about him choking. So for several weeks we would replace them. Then we started showing him the holes and having him throw away the old ones to get a new one. We got him down to 1 pacy and built up for about a week that that was gonna be the last pacy; when it was time to throw it away he'd be a big boy and all done with pacys. We were SICK with worry about how he would get through the night, much less even fall asleep, without one and the night came that we had to throw the last one away. He took it to the garbage, gave a slight hesitation, and threw it away. We cheered and praised and all that good stuff and told him what a big boy he was. We put him to bed and I think he asked once for a new one and we reminded him he was all done. Kissed him, said goodnight, went downstairs, and STARED at the video monitor. The went to sleep like a big boy, never a peep!! I'm pretty sure he was about 2-1/2 when all was said and done.



The point of all that? Some kids are needier than others. Some need that comfort. I would SO rather they use a pacifier that they can grow away from than a thumb that will always be there!! :) My son still hasn't been to a dentist but his teeth never looked odd in any way (maybe because we used the pacifiers that are supposed to be good for babies that need to suckle more? You know, the ones where the nipple is actually shaped more like a nipple and the plastic part curves away from the face instead of contouring to it?). Anyway, you'll know when she's getting ready to out grow it. I say a slow and steady transition is the best way to handle it. In case you can't tell, I am so not a proponent of CIO in any any way. Why? Now that my son is almost 4, I can look back and see where some people may have thought he was trying to 'manipulate' (another phrase that makes my skin crawl) at 18mo, 2yo, even 3yo was just him attempting to communicate the only way he could figure out how. Our kids are so not trying to manipulate us when they're so little. They don't know any other way to get their points across. So, why have a 3-1/2yo and under CIO? Why put either of you through it? Maybe the alternative takes a little more time but at least the two of you won't be as frazzled at the end of it!



If I took them away when *I* was ready or I followed *advice* to take them away, he would cry and cry and cry and to me, that meant he wasn't ready. When I watched him and 'listened' to what his actions were telling me, perfect transition! Follow YOUR gut, not anyone else's!!! And remember, nothing, no phase, bad or good, lasts forever. Everything passes in time. You just have to remind yourself of that when you're in the middle of it cuz it SUCKS when you're in the middle of it :>

Kristi - posted on 03/30/2011

My daughter was a pacifer baby since the day she was born. She constantly had one in her mouth. It was her comfort when she was upset. she always slept with one. We kept a few in her crib in case the one in her mouth fell out and she couldnt find it. I was slowly trying to get her off them but that seemed to make her want it more. One day in januaary after she woke up she kind of put it down and didnt use it all day. i tried to give her one at bedtime that same day and she refused. Its now almost 3 month later and the binky is no more. My daughter took herself off the pacifer. she was 19 months when she did it.

Mandi - posted on 03/30/2011

I had a pacifier (or dummy as we call it here in the U.K.) until I was about 7 and my teeth are fine!! My daughter had one until 4 and again her teeth are fine! Both of us only used them at night however! Apparently I would not sleep if I didn't have mine, I didn't cry or scream I just didn't sleep. In the end my mum made a toy snake with my pacifier at one end (the bit you sucked was on the inside and the handle stuck out) and a face on the other end...I was quite happy. I've heard people give them to the Pacifier Fairy or exchange them for toys at a toy shop (with the co operation of a friendly cashier!)
Hope you find something that works for you!
Mandi

Misty - posted on 03/30/2011

my middle son took a pacy til age two and my oldest dd is 8 and just stopped sucking her first two fingers and they have NO teeth problems related to this. We told JW that the pacy fairies came and took you pacy on the night of your 2nd bday party to take to new baby boys who needed them. He understood and NEVER asked for one again.

Misty - posted on 03/30/2011

my middle son took a pacy til age two and my oldest dd is 8 and just stopped sucking her first two fingers and they have NO teeth problems related to this. We told JW that the pacy fairies came and took you pacy on the night of your 2nd bday party to take to new baby boys who needed them. He understood and NEVER asked for one again.

Jennifer - posted on 03/30/2011

I agree...do what works. Crying it out feels unnatural to all of us I think. An easy transition is key. Try reading the No-Cry Sleep Solution. It will help with the transition. Letting her scream it out is too much for the both of you. Talk to her about letting it go even if you don't think she understands you. I like the suggestion about dipping it in something to make it taste sour. I know they have sour dips for helping kids to stop bitting their nails. Maybe something like that will help. Do what works for you and remember...she will loose her baby teeth. Do anything cold turkey can almost always lead to failure. One day at a time..baby steps baby steps. You'll get there. I promise. Keep up the good work and remember we're all behind you.

Melissa - posted on 03/30/2011

My son was the same, he had to have a pacifier to fall asleep. At 2 years and 4 months old, I took him to the dentist for the first time and they said his teeth were sticking out some. We took his pacifier away and got him a fire truck for a gift. (He still has a special blankie to sleep with that he has always had). It was hard for about a week, but now he is fine. His teeth went back within a month. Now our 4 month old is turning into a pacifier baby too!

Amanda - posted on 03/29/2011

I went through this with my son. Experts say get rid of it by 18 mo, after that a deep attachment develops. I say it develops before 18 mo, but I'm no expert. We were in the middle of a cross country move when my son was 18 mo. After all the flying and settling in, I limited it to in the crib only and we got rid of all but two. I happened to have a toy up in his closet that someone gave us when he was way to young for it and he asked about it frequently shortly after he turned two. I always told him when he was a big boy he could have it. At maybe 3 mo past two it dawned on me that I could tell him if he gives up his paci he would be a big boy and if he went one week with out it he would get the robot up in the closet. What do you know he did it and never asked for it again. I think he was just ready. I wouldn't be too worried at one year. They are just too young to understand why you are taking it away from them and all they know is the thing they love is gone. If you only use it during crib times (I even allowed mine to sooth with it in the crib is he was having a tantrum) I believe its ok to use it until 2ish. After that they should be able to sleep without it, IMHO. Good luck!

Keli - posted on 03/29/2011

The pacifiers these days are pretty Orthodontic.they make them better to help prevent tooth troubles i wouldnt worry to much. just do your best with weening it away. its just a habbit that needs to be broken. :)

Tracy - posted on 03/29/2011

I had my son officially off the pacifier at 19 months. At 11 months I took it away when he was awake and just gave it to him for nap/bedtime. Then, I tried taking it away for nap, but that didn't work, he screamed the whole time. So I decided to start by taking it away at bedtime, he was more tired at bedtime than for nap. He would wake up in the middle of the night asking for it, so he got it back when he woke. Eventually he didn't wake up looking for it, so then I started taking it away at nap time. Once it was gone at nap time, he started waking up around 3-4am looking for it, so he would get it back then. He started waking up later and later, until one morning he didn't wake up til 6am looking for it. It was still early, but I figured it was late enough that we could start our day.
I think we could have gotten rid of it sooner, but when he was ready it was around Christmas time and we were doing a lot of traveling. So, I held off until we planned to be home for a while. I didn't want to take away his comfort when he was away from home. And I made sure that he had a lovey to take the place of his paci. That way he still had a comfort item if he needed it. Good luck :)

Lori - posted on 03/29/2011

My daughter had her pacifier until she was 3. She is now almost 6, and the dentist told me that her teeth are perfect. If she is ok without it during the day, then I don't see the harm of letting her use it at night.

Bridget - posted on 03/29/2011

I watch the Doctors TV some kids have them til they are 5 and they are fine. My cousin still has his and he will be 5 this year. dont go cold turkey just cut it out during the day and just let her have it at night.

Tami - posted on 03/28/2011

we talked a lot about giving it to kids that dont have one but in the end the sue sue fairy came onr night and took it and left a toy like the tooth fairy but she still cuyed for it but u have to stay firm good luck

Chairettie - posted on 03/28/2011

I have never heard of cutting off the tip - I guess it really would be broken LOL... I have to try that when the time comes. My twin girls aren't even 9 months yet but I only give them their binky at nap time and bed time and when they are having a melt down which is rare thank heavens. I like the idea of "hiding" it ..... Great advice :o)

Samantha - posted on 03/28/2011

my daughter was pretty bad with them tto so onec she was 9-10 months old and as she lost them one by one i just stoped buyin them!! and as time went on she lost them and i stoped fighting with her!

Lindz - posted on 03/28/2011

my daughter def. was a binky baby. we started taking her off by a yr. and then i was tired of seeing her find them around the house and walking around with them. one day they just complety disappeared! *poof* it was a hard 2 weeks at night when she would cry for it. but during the day she didn't even ask for it. it's hard to hear them cry but i just gave her a back rub and tried to comfert her other than her binky doing it for her. they just have to learn and you have to be strong and patient

User - posted on 03/28/2011

Oh wow, that is just heart breaking. I tried giving a pacifier to one of my mine when she had colic. But she wouldn't take it. I also tried to give a pacifier to one of my twins that sucks his thumb. But he wouldn't take it either. Now I have to figure out how to get my four year old to stop sucking his thumb. Good luck to you!
www.rebeccabany.com

Shauna - posted on 03/27/2011

Ive heard so many opposing view points i think its best just to trust your gut instinct. i've seen reasearch say no harm as long as they are off by age 3. but then have heard dentist say "you can always tell a pacifier baby by their teeth" but also on that note there are dentists that say no biggy. My son is 14 mo old and is a binky addict. Hes teething and we freeze his binkys with water it it and it really really helps him all day! he moves the frozen part to the spot he needs it on his teeth. and has to have one to sleep. I dont plan on weening him anytime soon.

Ashley - posted on 03/27/2011

Thanks for the great suggestions and encouragement! We may try cutting the tip off one of them and see how it goes.

Jenny - posted on 03/27/2011

Also, some people limit the use the other way around. Not give it to them for naps and night time, only during the day. I think this habit will actually be easier to brake, avoiding the night time crying.

Jenny - posted on 03/27/2011

I'm another big fan of cutting off the tip. I did this with my son when he was 18 months old and told him it was broken. He did not want it in his mouth.

I left it on the floor near the cot so that when he was napping and wanted it, he could see it and could see that it was broken, and did not want it.

Again no drama, no tears :)

My 10month old is still on her dummy for now, but thats ok. I might try to cut off the tip on her first b-day, but if it causes too much crying, i'll giver her a new one and try again at 18months. Definatley not leaving it until after 2 as then they are more aware of things and will protest lots as they have gotten very sentimentally attached by that age.

Nancy - posted on 03/27/2011

Stephanie's advice is dead on. My daughter is 2 and there was no way she was giving up her pacifier. I cut the tip off and every week cut another sliver off until she lost interest. No drama, no tears and she has great teeth.

Stephanie - posted on 03/27/2011

try cutting the tip in half and she wont be able to suck on it and possibly get aggrivated and give up

Gena - posted on 03/27/2011

I would def try and limit it to night/naptime, but if you can do that, I would not worry about her teeth this early. My son had his, only at night, until about 2yrs. Then, we gathered them up and sent them to his cousin who was a "baby" and needed them:) There were only a few rough days of naps, but after that, he was fine! I think you have a while to worry about it, but I would start trying to get her to only have it and night/nap and that will make the ultimate transition much easier:)

Kari - posted on 03/27/2011

With both of my boys I took it and hid them. I told them they lost it and they had to find it if they wanted it. They both had a hard time without it the first night but then were fine after that.

Katherine - posted on 03/27/2011

Ok this is what The Mayo Clinic says:
The pros

For some babies, pacifiers are the key to contentment between feedings. Consider the advantages:

* A pacifier may soothe a fussy baby. Some babies are happiest when they're sucking on something.
* A pacifier offers temporary distraction. When your baby's hungry, a pacifier may buy you a few minutes to find a comfortable spot to nurse or to prepare a bottle. A pacifier may also come in handy during shots, blood tests or other procedures.
* A pacifier may help your baby fall asleep. If your baby has trouble settling down, a pacifier might do the trick.
* Pacifiers may help reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Researchers have found an association between pacifier use during sleep and a reduced risk of SIDS.
* Pacifiers are disposable. When it's time to stop using pacifiers, you can throw them away. If your child prefers to suck on his or her thumb or fingers, it may be more difficult to break the habit.

The cons

Of course, pacifiers have pitfalls as well. Consider the drawbacks:

* Early pacifier use may interfere with breast-feeding. Sucking on a breast is different from sucking on a pacifier or bottle. Some babies have trouble learning how to nurse properly if they're given a pacifier too soon.
* Your baby may become dependent on the pacifier. If your baby uses a pacifier to sleep, you may face frequent middle-of-the-night crying spells when the pacifier falls out of your baby's mouth.
* Pacifier use may increase the risk of middle ear infections. However, rates of middle ear infections are generally lowest from birth to age 6 months — when the risk of SIDS is the highest and your baby may be most interested in a pacifier.
* Prolonged pacifier use may lead to dental problems. Normal pacifier use during the first few years of life doesn't cause long-term dental problems. However, prolonged pacifier use may cause a child's top front teeth to slant outward or not come in properly.
So according to them I'm wrong.

Katherine - posted on 03/27/2011

The "pacifier teeth" thing is a myth. My daughter still has one at night and she's 5. Yes 5. I cannot, no matter what I do get her off of it. I have tried everything. When I try cold turkey it's like she has this look on her face like she is going to lose it. I think she has some abandonment issues and that's why she won't stop. Her dad and I separate on and off and a few months ago it was for good.
So I can't take it away, but I also can't continue to let her have it.

My point is that your daughter is only 12 months old, so I don't think it's a big deal for her to have it at night or nap time.

Laura - posted on 03/26/2011

my daughter is now 2 yrs old. she can not sleep without her pacifier. she is not one to walk all around house/park/ anywhere with it though. when she wakes up she knows it stays in the crib. its always been like that. do i really care what people think? oh hell no...u do what works for u

Belinda - posted on 03/26/2011

My dentist told me that he allowed his children to have a pacifier until 4 or so. They had 'pacifier teeth", within 6 months of giving up the paci their teeth had returned to normal.

Good Day! - posted on 03/26/2011

Most kids will let go of the pacifier by the age of 2 or 3 with no damage to the teeth so long as they don't have it all day, everyday. (This is according to my own research and talking with my pediatrician.) My suggestion would be to go ahead and let her have it at night, then when she is fast asleep...take it. That way she is only sucking on it for a few minutes each day. I think that taking the very low chance that her teeth might be damaged (which is not likely anyway) is better than her screaming for so long.

Maysa - posted on 03/26/2011

My heart ached at ur story- i hate it when they cry so hard and u try not to go in and comfort them.
I personally dont have this problem with my boy (he simply spit it out at 6 mnths!), but iv heard from my grandmother that you can put something on the pacifier that will make her hate it.
You can dip it in salt for a couple of times- the first time wont do, so u could repeat it for consecutive trials.
This is another weird suggestion, but u can dip it in chocolate and tell her that its poo and no good to put it in her mouth..
Plz dont laugh at this :) its an old wife's tale and supposedly works
Hope this is helpful!