Julie - posted on 08/19/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )
My husband and I have only been married for 3 months, and he has been out of town working for most of it. I am a sahm taking care of my 6 year old, his 6 year old, his 4 y/o and his 3 y/o. Their mother comes and mostly goes as she pleases, so I tend to have his kids 6 days of the week. Before we married, we had a long distance relationship, and I pined for the time when I could move closer and be with him...It hasn't turned out as I imagined.
I knew my husband worked out of town a lot, but I guess I wasn't completely prepared for the feelings I would feel while taking care of the kids and (not) coping with his absence. When he leaves for work I start to panic and create problems between us, and when he gets home from business trips I ruin the time he is home because I am dreading his next departure. He tends to work 3 days out of town, and then 3 long 12-18 hour days in town so it's like he is still gone. When he calls me from work, it almost adds insult to injury. He doesn't understand, he says things like, "I would much rather be home with the kids all day than working", or "If I get another job, you will have to work and won't see me". I'm sure both of those statements are true, but they make me feel awful, and don't rouse me from my pity party. How do other moms cope? I am starting my marriage and already feel miserable. What do I do?