Pasdling Teenagers

Lauram - posted on 09/23/2017 ( 26 moms have responded )

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I have twin 14 year old daughters who receive the paddle from there stepdad or I about once a month. I know my best friend still paddles her 14 year old son. Are we in the majority of minority.

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Rachel Louise - posted on 11/17/2017

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I don't know but I was still spanked at that age. Indeed my father only introduced the cane when I was 13 and he used it thorugh my teenage years

Janice A - posted on 12/13/2017

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Rachel,

How effective is paddle or cane for teenage girls, compared to the loss of privileges? And how can spanking be combined with loss of privileges to get the best overall correction or improvement in behavior?

We are discussing this subject on my new board also, which is what led me to this page. Maybe you can discuss it in greater detail here:

MOMS-WHO-SPANK-BARE-BUTTS

Janice A - posted on 01/07/2018

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Michelle,

Yes, ma'am. You say that spanking "works to correct young children?"

I don't understand your meaning here.

You mean that spanking is "assault" above a certain age, but not below that age?

A young child is arguably even more fragile and vulnerable than an older one. How could you condone striking a very young child?

Do children below a certain age not have feelings? Are they not fully human beings?

If you oppose spanking, then you should oppose it most of all when it hurts those who are so young and vulnerable.

Assault is usually something like punching with a fist. We are not punching our children with our fists.

Assault can be anything unwelcome coming from a stranger. If a strange man puts his hand on my shoulder in a gesture of "friendship," I can report him for making me feel unsafe and threatened.

Assault against an adult in the family could lead to legal issues, but the adult "victim" has to want to press charges.

If a 20-something daughter gets a very severe butt-whipping from her mother, and she does NOT call it "assault," then why should you call it that?

We might be talking about sorority paddles also. They don't use the paddle as much as in the past, but either way it's a voluntary thing.

You join the club, you follow their rules.

I was not in a sorority, because I didn't really have the chance to do that.

Suppose I got the paddle used on ME, and I said, "Thank you, ma'am! May I please have another?"

Why would I say that, if I didn't mean it? If I want to be in their club, then that is the way they do things.

College girls don't go filing assault charges against sorority sisters for paddling them. (At least, ALMOST never).

So, I kind of understand, ma'am, where you are coming from on this. And yet, I think the issue is more complex than you want to make it.

"Fifty Shades of Grey" is a popular book. But you want to make the issue only two shades of "black and white."

Jelena - posted on 01/06/2018

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Michelle Waldwillig spanking are not assault. Spanking are done for a reason (you keep saying no reason). Assault are done in anger. Spanking should never be done in anger. They know the rules and often warning are often given and repeated.

I am not hypocritical, my husband used spanking with me and they hurt like h__l but they helped our relationship so much- extra closeness, stronger love. As see and hear other husbands and wives interactions, I often think, to myself she could benefit from a bad spanking from him. Michelle are you one of those women, who need a bare bottom spanking?? I suggest you might read Dr Dorothy Spencer spanking plan. I wonder deep down if your husband, doesn't feel you could benefit from a spanking

Please don't be mad at me. Please
After you both read this, I can delete it, no problem.

God Bless You, be sweet be humble
Jelena

Carol - posted on 01/06/2018

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Personally I’m a live and let live person I dont try to change others ways I believe we all know what we think is best for our own lives and adapt things to fit our lives that we are comfortable with.
As to hitting adults well I am in fact very pro a return to use of corporal punishment for some things.
For example
My eldest received a speeding ticket the fine was minimal and didn’t really upset her too much however the cane I gave her has had a big effect and she will tell you clearly that she’s careful driver now as her backside thinks of the cane every speed camera it sees and not the small fine she received.

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Michelle - posted on 01/07/2018

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Janice, with a young child a hand to the clothed butt is all it takes to correct behaviour. It doesn't inflict pain, it's more just the shock of it.
These women are condoning using implements to assault their teenage children. There is a big difference.

Carol - posted on 01/07/2018

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Spanking is spanking and Assault is assault 2 very different things

Also if your meaning the law definition well assault is actually the pre part to a physical contact not the actual contact.

In criminal and civil law, assault is an attempt to initiate harmful or offensive contact with a person, or a threat to do so.[1] It is distinct from battery, which refers to the actual achievement of such contact.

Michelle - posted on 01/06/2018

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The definition of assault:
" v. the threat or attempt to strike another, whether successful or not, provided the target is aware of the danger."

Carol - posted on 01/06/2018

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Lastly I can’t really comment in assult as it all depend on your and my and anyone else’s judgement of what is assault.
As far as I’m concerned discipline is discipline assult is assult 2 very different things.

Carol - posted on 01/06/2018

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And yes they will all care about any speeding ticket or any other offending as I will still be there it’s that simple.
I didn’t bring them up to get to a set age and forget them I bring them up because I love and care for them and that dosent stop just because 20 22 25 or 30 or any other age.
Family is as important to me no matter what age.

Your argument about young it works and older children it dosent is a total barmy statement to me. If you dont spank you have no idea and if you stopped at young age again you have no idea of how effective in older children all I can say is it works ever so well.

Carol - posted on 01/06/2018

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I don’t get how you say it dosent work ?
How can you say it dosent work ? It works very well in my opinion.
I can truly say that when they have been disciplined it’s incredibly rare they do so again.
I have high expectations and yes many rules and ways in my household they know them and if they break them they know what will happen also.
But I will say it’s rare that they repeat the same thing again.

I don’t brag about what I do or don’t do I may share what has happened or suggest things with other like minded adults who can choose for themselves if it’s a good or bad thing for them to do.
But I deffinately don’t brag as far as I’m concerned what I am happy to do works well for me and many others and I don’t judge others that use other ways.

Michelle - posted on 01/06/2018

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You didn't really answer my point about the hypocrisy in it being illegal to hit an adult but not your children. You wrote about corporal punishment but adults are assaulted for no reason sometimes, why shouldn't the offender be charged with a criminal offence? You think a speeding fine warrants a spanking? Bet you she won't care about it when she's out of your clutches, her bank account will and also if she loses her licence.
TBH, I don't care what you do behind closed doors but when people post and brag about beating their children, I am upset for the children.
Assault is assault and the fact that you brag that you assault your children is sick. Using an implement is not necessary and hitting your teenage children doesn't work. It works to correct young children but teens need guidance to help them make the correct decisions in the future. What does giving them a belting teach them? A few minutes of pain and they will do it again.

Carol - posted on 01/06/2018

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Personally I think you should have more respect for other people’s choices instead of thinking your own are the only good ones.

If some countries are stupid enough to ban it then they will soon enough realise the mistakes they make.may take a few years but like all history it repeats itself when get new generations that come along with common sense again.

Unfortunately most things change for the worse because of tiny minority’s that go too far most laws exist in any country firstly to protect the rich and are made of course by the rich.
But secondly when society shouts enough that something really is no longer practical and is no longer effective then we get usually a return to older ways that have in the past worked well but only got changed because of a minority that went too far.

There is never really anything new in law and ways it’s just a revamp of old ways that become political at any given time.
So whatever wins votes is whatever is in fashion you could say.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2018

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Well considering a lot of countries have banned it and the parents can be charged with abuse, I think those that spank as their only means of discipline need to learn new methods.
Why is it okay for a parent to hit a child (with or without an implement) when it they hit an adult they will be charged with assault? Why should we encourage abuse of our children when we don't stand for it as an adult?
I find those that spank are hypocrites as they wouldn't stand for someone spanking them.

Carol - posted on 01/04/2018

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I dint think it’s helpful to say one way is better than another.
Those that spank and discipline find there ways work fully well.
As you well say your ways work.
Telling anyone there wrong or that another way is the only way to be because you use it is never a way that will change someone’s opinion.
As a child if you say don’t do something for sure they do.

Well as adults we respect others opinions and accept lots of ways work not just one,if life wasn’t this way it would be very dull and boring as we’d be only like Machines.

As you say your children are nice and get comments from teachers and friends ,does that mean you think we don't get thé same comments about ours ? As I can assure we too get the same comments so as I say 2 different ways that both work.

I find odd that those that don’t spank have to tell us we’re so wrong yet i have no interest in life to try enforce my ways upon those that don’t.

Michelle - posted on 01/04/2018

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I don't spank my children and I have 2 very respectful and well behaved teenage boys.
Don't say that spanking is the only way to raise respectful children.
My boys know what I expect in my house and I haven't have to enforce any consequences to them for a long time. Their teachers and my friends always comment on how well mannered my children are.
It takes more work to raise children without spanking and I guess it's the easy way of discipline instead of working with the child to change their behaviour and teach them to make the right choices in life.
My children respect me and don't fear me.

Hervee - posted on 01/04/2018

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in many countries it is not "politically correct" ... but now in the domestic area , it is tolerated
Governments prefer well behaving kids( due to strict education ) than delinquant ones ( due to laxism ) ....

Jelena - posted on 01/04/2018

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Carol, I don't know of any laws here against spanking. I fact, in the state of Alabama the paddle can be used in schools- it's a local choice. The paddle is not used as much as it use to be, as when I was in school.

I am in Alabama USA, others? Laws or not?

Carol - posted on 01/03/2018

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I know personally now 6 young mums all very pro spanking and they all have come out of a non spanking era that see Exactky as i see ignorant children that get there own ways,that have no respect and have expectations beyond any common sense.and thanks to these young mums there will at least be 8 decent children growing up.

Carol - posted on 01/03/2018

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I think that many countries went overboard on going from one extreme to another simply because of a few nutters.laws sadly end up catering for the worst In society instead of common sense.
However when it finally flips and people have enough of the stupid laws the backlash swings yet again hugely.
That time is coming up I’m very sure in many countries.

Jelena - posted on 01/03/2018

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I have hope in future - we who are in the minority, someday we could be in the majority.
I predict, the so called experts who said spanking were bad for children- will be found out- that they were WRONG. Other factors were more important causing negative behaviors. Real research will show, children who are not spanked have MORE NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS.

Carol, I agree with your post so much

When other mothers say to me that they tried spanking and it didn't work.
My mind wonders if they really spanked hard enough or effective enough.
I learned to obey my Mother at all cost, she whipped with a green switch, it worked.

Carol - posted on 01/03/2018

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When discipline is needed then your doing the right thing,
Most important is to be consistent as if you paddle today for something if it’s repeated then you paddle again harder.
Biggest mistake is when you let a few times slip through.
I think you’ll find there’s plenty of us out here that discipline as regular as it’s needed.

Melissa - posted on 12/28/2017

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Sadly - i think you are in the minority, judging how many bratty and disrespectful teens are out there.. I discipline my 16 year old daughter and 14 year old son. hand, hairbrush, leather strap. The key is consistency and not letting bad behavior slide. Do you punish them together?

Michelle_williams - posted on 11/26/2017

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I am sure your fat her's discipline was helpful to your development Rachel

Michelle - posted on 09/24/2017

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I agree with Dove, those parents that choose to abuse their children are in the minority. Thankfully.
I suggest you actually learn how to parent effectively and stop abusing your poor children. Maybe they will realize what you are doing and have you charged, that would be great for them.

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