Please Help!! Is it really that bad to sleep in bed with your baby?

Jennifer - posted on 11/16/2009

There is a cosleep pad (rized slightly on the sides so you dont roll on it and keeps littles from rolling much) that you can buy. You put the baby on that in your bed. We used this with our oldest child, our youngest we did not co sleep, we had a bassenet that I put right next to the bed and slept with one hand on her. (helped that the bassenet was the same hight as our bed). I dont recomend cosleeping at least not past 3 months. The longer you do so the longer and harder it is to break the habbit. That is why we only did so with the oldest, our youngest as I said we did a bassinet. After she was 3 months we put her in her crib in her room for the night.

But one of my cosins did suffacate her baby sleeping with her. There is always a risk but its your choise. I found that the bassenet was just as good (better in some ways) as co sleeping. I could touch her at need and hear her breathing but there was no pee in my bed when the diper leaks in the night! LOL it will happen as she starts sleeping longer.

Good and bad but as she sleeps longer the co sleeping actually stops being usful and starts keeping your baby from getting all the sleep she needs. And as she starts moving (rolling and crawling) you will loose sleep.

Amie - posted on 11/16/2009

i have 3 boys my 2 oldest slept with me from birth even in the hosp i would have them on me and i have to say that was one of the best things i ever did nothing ever happened to them and we have a bond better then any of my friends that had their kids in a crib my kids are now 7 3 and 14 months my youngest always wanted to sleep on his own but still to this day my 3 year old sleeps with me and my 7 year old grew out of sleeping with me and went to his own bed on his own, i am a single mom and if i was in a relationship at imes i was then the bf would have to deal with it i didnt move them for anyone else there are ways around things (it helps that i have a spare room) lol and i nursed till my kids were 3 also bes things i ever did.

Amanda - posted on 11/16/2009

a nap can be harmful. you can roll over on her or she could but her face in a pillow or blanket suffacate. Also if you let her sleep with you all the time it will be harder to break her of the habit when she gets older. Personally if my 1 month old son wakes up sometimes he just wants to be held so i put him in bed next to me and if he falls asleep i wont move him i will let him sleep with me but i am taking a risk doing it.

Cassie - posted on 11/16/2009

It is okay once in awhile. If it's often, it can cause independent sleeping problems later on. My son lately wakes up around 3 or 4am and falls back asleep with me. I try to get him in his crib, but when he refuses for over an hour - I let him sleep with me for a little bit. We're trying to get away from that, and it's a struggle.

Courtney - posted on 11/16/2009

Sweetheart.. sometimes its an ok thing as long as you have the proper dividing thing like pillow or something made specifically for co-sleeping. However, as you know.. you wouldn't want to co sleep after drinking, taking any form of medication etc. My grandfather is a mortician and thus I'm prone to having heros like Dr. Michael Baden, Henry Lee, Dr. G (medical examiner).. and of course, my granddad. I'm all to familiar with infant deaths due to roll over accidents. I'd take proper precautions and be safe. It can be a real bonding experience or a tragedy in the waiting.

Tamsyn - posted on 11/16/2009

I loved co-sleeping with my son! He was breastfed so it made feeding in the middle of the night a breeze and we both slept great. People have co-slept for thousands of years. It wasn't until recently people stoped but that was also when people started saying formula was better then breast milk and crying it out was the only way to get your kid to sleep. New studies actually show that the mothers intincts can actually rouse her if the baby stops breathing in its sleep which is what SIDS basically is. The same instints that keep you from rolling off the bed will keep you from rolling onto the baby also. My only wish was that I took my son out of the bed a little sooner because it made it so much harder to get him to sleep by himself when that time came for our family. But the most important thing is to do what feels right for your family.



Tamsyn Bucher

Helping YOU Work From Home

tbucher1204@yahoo.com

www.FreedomToWorkAtHome.info

Amy - posted on 11/16/2009

Just be careful...most parents sleep with their babies at some point however making this an every night ritual is asking for a 12 year old to be in bed with you! I didn't get my son out of my bed until he was 5! He is the one that kicked me. As long as your being careful and don't mind having to deal with the consequences later then I say go for it. It is hard to break them from this. As far as the blankets and pillows in the bed....my daughter has pulled a blanket to her face at a very early age maybe 2 months old....that's how she falls asleep. She likes to rub a soft blanket against her chin. I think that if we as mothers make sure we are protecting our children even when they sleep then there is nothing wrong snuggling up to them at bed/nap time! Good Luck!

Rachael - posted on 11/16/2009

I have heard bad horror stories, BUT I have three kids and actually had all three of them in bed with me. My oldest is 8 and he was the one that was in bed with dad and i basically from day one. The hardest was when he had to go to his crib on his own. I don't think it was as difficult for him as it was for me!! My second is 4 and was not much of a sleeper by me but more so daddy, to this day if she could sleep with us she would. Our youngest is now 1 1/2 and he would fall asleep with us but he is the type that if he didn't have his own space it was not a easy sleep. Hope this helps.......

Kerry - posted on 11/16/2009

i wouldnt worry too much unless you have been drinking as your aware your child is next to ya... ive got a 6 months old baby and she comes in to our bed when she wakes in the night and is fine... to be honest its nice to see your smiling baby when you wake up and they are all excited to see ya...

Tisha - posted on 11/16/2009

My fiance and I shared a bed with our daughter until she was six months old. It was the only way she would sleep at night. Just make sure you don't have a lot of fluffy blankets and pillows on the bed and that the mattress your sleeping on is firm and not too soft. If you move around a lot in your sleep than it's not a good idea to co-sleep.

Tilly - posted on 11/16/2009

When our son was 7 months old he got a bad cold and it was winter so we let him sleep in our bed with us we all got sleep. when he got better he refused to sleep in his own bed and was especially petrified of his cot, he is now nearly 2 and is in a big boy bed, he loves his big boy bed and asks to go there when it's time for bed, he does come into us in the morning though. He was in with us till our second bub was born and then for a couple of months, we never had any issues with him in with us other than it was difficult for us to have us time. It was just easier for us.
If you or your partner are restless sleepers or heavy sleepers I wouldn't recommend it also don't have bubs in bed beside a sibling they are very unaware!

Do what you think is best!

You can purchase a bed thing to put in your bed which protects bubs from being rolled on, it's like a mini bed you put in your own bed, I've seen them at Big W, you can also get cots which attach to the side of your bed, basically it extends the side of your bed

ALl the best with it!

Hannah - posted on 11/16/2009

I always napped with my daughter when she was young, we both got awesome sleep, plus it also helps you to get enough rest. Remember the docter recommends that when your baby sleeps you do too, and it is EXTREMELY hard (at least it was for me), not to go do all the dirty laundry, the dishes or clean the house. Then when it comes time for bed you are exhausted and your daughter probably isn't ready yet to sleep through the night. Also it is a great way to bond, you will remember those times for the rest of your life, especially when puberty hits! And no she cannot die from this as long as there isn't any huge fluffy blankets impeding her movement and breathing.

Brittney - posted on 11/16/2009

my daughter is 10 months old and my hubby and i have slept in the same bed with her since the day we brought her home. it is an incredible bonding experience. but you have to be careful, because babies can get an over developed sense of co dependancy. my daughter CANNOT sleep independently without crying herself to sleep and that is stressfull for both of us :( but we are working on it.

Mandi - posted on 11/15/2009

I LOVE taking naps with my babies. But I think that it is very important to do it on occassion because you don't want to develope a habit. I am sure it is possible to roll on your baby but I don't think it happens very often. I REALLY don't know the statistics so don't quote me. But you can love on your baby... Of course! Take a nap! Soon..... You will enjoy that nap time to yourself & let her lay alone. Hope this helps!

Myisha - posted on 11/15/2009

LOL My son is 2 and a half months and since he was in the hospital with me he slept in my bed...he is perfectly fine I dont see anything wrong but I dont do it as much as in the beginning cuz I'm goin back to work soon and I want him to get use to sleepin without me so for bed time he sleeps by himself but naps are with mommy :)

Chelsea - posted on 11/15/2009

when my daughter was just a few days old i fell asleep with her on my chest after breastfeeding, ever since then i wake up panicing when i cant find her in bed with me, thinking if smothered her in my blankets. i cant go back to sleep till i have seen she is sleeping safely in her bed. Saying that they have made "co-sleepers" which attach either to the side of your bed or sit in the middle of your bed which can take some of the risk away from sleeping with your baby. my daughter did want that closeness when she wanted to sleep so i found myself reaching my habd inside of her bassinet and laying my fingers on her cheek i dont know if it will work for you but it did the trick for me, the only downside is she had to have me touching her till she was 4 months old in order to fall asleep, but hey you do what you can to get a little sleep.

Laura - posted on 11/15/2009

the longer you let her sleep with you the harder and i mean harder it is for you to stop it. (harder for you and her). Let it be special time on a weekend or vacation. They don't stay cute and snuggle for ever and as they grow that good sleep and snuggles turns in to rid kicking cover stilling not fun.

Jamie - posted on 11/15/2009

and dont forget the cons....
-never getting them out your bed as they get older i know 8 year olds that cant sleep alone caused from co sleeping
-death-----thats a big one!!!!!

Jamie - posted on 11/15/2009

I choose to sleep with my sons father and thats it, I think sleeping with your baby is so bad and deadly! but a nap is different...i think as long as someone else is around to keep an eye on you and your baby napping together then that can be fine but it scares to hearing all these stories about babies dying from co-sleeping, yet again my cousin sleeps with her 2 boys now one is 3 years and the other is 4 months and those boys are fine! but then again it might not always turn out that way as seen on the news and read in the papers! I would rather be safe then sorry and sleep alone!!

Rachel - posted on 11/15/2009

My daughter has been "co-sleeping with me " since she was born. Yes childern can die from it. You can suffocate them, they can fall of the bed ect. But... My daughter is 13 mo old and she is alive and kicking. It is really your choice. I say yes if you are careful.

Suset - posted on 11/15/2009

I co-slept with my daughter when she was between 2-8 weeks old, because it was convinient for breastfeeding, and we both seemed to get more sleep. But, I stopped because I started becoming extremely paranoid about her suffocating in my bed, or me rolling on top of her, even though I'm an extremely light sleeper. She has now been sleeping in her bassinet for the past 4 weeks and I get even better sleep without her in bed with me. I honestly believe the safest place for a baby is in a flat, firm surface, without pillows or blankets either her own bed or one that attaches to your bed.

Sylvia - posted on 11/15/2009

My oldest is 51/2 and she sleept w/us up until Sept of this yr. My son is two yrs old and he sleept w/us until then as well. I personnally didnt see any harm, they are small for such a small period of time and I wanted to enjoy them sleeping w/us. Not once did we roll over on them. Although I was loosing a lot of sleep recently and went into a depression so dr. recommended they sleep in their own bed. My daughter is tall & was litterally to big to be w/us. for 2 yrs all 4 of us sleept together! Go w/your gut.

Sheila - posted on 11/15/2009

I co-slept with my preemie in a water bed! I did take a risk while doing it, I wont deny that, but like you said, it was the best sleep ever! You know they're there, so I never moved. Yes, there have been cases where the DAD rolled over on the child and smothered them. The mom just instinctively knows where her baby is, even while dead asleep. Not like there were cribs way back in the day... The baby slept with their momma's and my son slept with his. The tricky part is when they are ready, moving them to their own bed. That can be a tough one if they're used to sleeping with mom.

Good luck~

Melanie - posted on 11/15/2009

I suggest checking out these websites

http://sids-network.org/experts/bedshare...



http://www.webchild.com.au/index.php/Art...

Leah - posted on 11/15/2009

There has been links between SIDS and sleeping with your bub. Hard as it is a lovely experience - but is it worth the risk?

Amanda - posted on 11/14/2009

well i only slept with my son for the first couple of days he always sleeps in his own bed he falls asleep on his own to.I wouldnt do it if I were you just because they need to learn to be indapendent or you will have problems in the future.

Melanie - posted on 11/14/2009

My brother died of SIDS so when I fell pregnant I did countles amounts of research and never came across such statistics. Alot of mums are using the name Dr Sears this is one doctor with a personal preferance to co-sleeping and the website (just like all the other websites I have seen on co-sleeping) state that close proximity to your baby can help prevent SIDS. 'Close poximity does not mean "co-cleep". As I said the SIDS foundation's sole purpose is researching and finding ways to reduce SIDS. They have no hidden agenda and no personal opinion they symply go off the studies they do. I would rather take the advice of a whole fgroup of doctors with no personal opinion, then the personal opinion of one Dr who themself uses the words close proximity.

Brandy - posted on 11/14/2009

Actually, babies are less likely to die of SIDS while sleeping with their mothers if you check the statistics. My daughter slept with me for the first 6 months of her life and is 18 months now and still does on occasion.

Melanie - posted on 11/14/2009

Quoting Sharon:

The back to sleep campaign is in place for a reason. Having lost a child to SIDS it is just not worth the risk (the Drs do not know what causes death) Placing a cradle or crib within arms reach of your bed also works. Maybe it is not as cozy but why take the smallest of chances?
My son did die in his crib.

Sharon, 100% agree with this. Its just not worth it.

It makes me so mad to read on these things people saying if you co sleep it stops SIDS. Honestly ppl if stoping SIDS was really that easy don't you think the SIDS foundation who's sole purpose is researching SIDS and finding ways to reduce the risk would be telling us all to co-sleep. It doesn't matter where you put your baby to bed, crib or co-sleep SIDS can happen.  So many ppl say that more babies die in a crib then co-sleeping so co-sleep must be better. Think about it ppl. more babies sleep in cribs then co-sleep so of corse the number of deaths is going to be higher.

If you want the safest sleeping environment for your baby then follow the advise from the SIDS Foundation.
Sleep baby in a crib on their own with no toys or loose blankets don't let baby get to hot or cold and always sleep baby on their back. 

Kimberly - posted on 11/14/2009

Your baby lived in your womb and listened to your heartbeat. Being near you gives them a sense of security. If you have it set up safely there's nothing wrong with co sleeping. It can make it more difficult for them to sleep in their own room later but I say do what works for you and your child. I've slept with my baby laying on me before. It was the only way either of us could get any sleep.

Laura - posted on 11/14/2009

well it says everywhere that u not supposed to do it..and i wouldnt say its the best way to do it either but i did it too many times cuz i was breastfeeding and while she ate se fell asslep rigth away and me too and sometimes i just wanted to have her by me...i felt sure doing that cuz i have a light sleep anyway!i took care that no pillows or comforter around that could fall on her face! i would say if u feel comfortbale with doing that and think its safe enought for u and the baby...then u can do it!! it not bad for the baby! i mean it close to mommie and feels safe and loved!! what else could be better:) i mean if the baby to young i would not do it! but to month yeah u should be good if u comfortable with it! and like u said it was the best sleep ever since! that should say everything! just make sure she cant roll of or choke! i mean u a mom so u have the moher instinct in you!!;)

Lisa - posted on 11/14/2009

I kept a bassinet next to the bed until my babies slept through the night, but would often fall asleep during middle of the night nursing and find them safe and sound in the morning. Pull the extra pillows and blankets away so that there's no chance of them smothering. Unless you are a heavy sleeper, you should be fine.

Mandy - posted on 11/14/2009

There is a huge array of benefits of co-sleeping, which include:

- Night feeding and nurturing,

- Greater bonding with both parents,

- Positive emotional and physiological responses from the infant,

- Less sleep disruption,

- Shorter night waking periods,

- Less nighttime crying,

- Enhanced breastfeeding,

- Ease of response to baby distress,

- Emotional security for the child,

- Reduction of night terrors

- Greater likelihood of natural child spacing.



Studies in New Zealand and the USA have reported that while infant death does occur in some co-sleeping situations, most of these involve an unsafe sleeping situation (such as a smoking mother or nearby pillows). A 1999 study by the Consumer Product Safety Commission (USA) found that while 515 infants died whilst in their parents' bed, on a couch or a beanbag, there were 2,700 babies who died whilst in their cots. Of the 515 infant deaths, at least 394 of these were in situations where parents were not following the stringent safety guidelines for co-sleeping. Does this not suggest that co-sleeping, whether adhering to the strict safety requirements or not, is actually safer for baby than cot sleeping? It could be argued that the cot sleep and co-sleep ratio is uneven, however your own article states that "....in Queensland, 45% of the state's parents at some stage share beds with their babies."



In a laboratory study headed by Dr James McKenna on co-sleeping arrangements, it found that the mother is highly responsive to the infants' movements and spends less time in deep sleep. The infant arouses into light sleep more frequently."The inability for an infant to arouse frequently into light sleep is thought to be one of the underlying causes of SIDS, as arousal deficiencies are suspected in some SIDS deaths" (McKenna 1997). It is interesting to note that he defines co-sleeping as 'sleeping in close proximity to one's infant', where breastfeeding and/or attentiveness can easily be given. This could include arrangements such as a cot used as a 'sidecar' to the parents' bed, or an infant mattress or futon placed next to the parents' bed.



There is nowhere you can put your baby to sleep that is completely risk free, and of course we need to follow the safety guidelines for whichever situation your baby sleeps in, so that our childrens'¢ safety is maximised. However I believe that co-sleeping ensures that we are there for our son and can better respond to his needs should he require assistance during the night.



"In those infants at risk for SIDS, natural mothering (unrestricted breastfeeding and sharing sleep with baby) will lower the risk of SIDS." (Dr Sears, 1999)

Heather - posted on 11/13/2009

I DO AND I LOVE IT NOTHING WRONG WITH IT

Jessie - posted on 11/13/2009

hey I have a 2 month old sond who lays with me in bed in the mornings. My Hubby gets up with him for his second feeding, he normaly wont go back to sleep for him so he givs him to me and I lay him down on the blankets next to me and we sleep in the bed till about9 so for about 2-3 hours. I've had ppl tell me that I will have problems breacking him from it later on, but to be honest its your child and do what you feel is safe for it. I like sleeping with my son being close with him and then we both wake up together. No waking up to him starting to cry he just opens his eyes and then rolls into me a bit and starts doing little snorts and rubbing his face. I've only started having him in bed with me about 2 weeks ago when it was time change and he wanted to be up and start the day at 5 in the morning. But then again its just me and him my hubby is getting ready for work around that time and he move around alot and I stay in the same position all nite pritty much and with the baby I wake up if I'm uncomfertable. Just do what you feel works for you. Thats what I've been doing .

Vera - posted on 11/13/2009

Hi Savannah,

My children are teenagers now but when they were little ones I slept in the bed with all of them. I slept in the bed with my oldest son when we were still in the hospital. There is some risk of rolling over on your baby but I think for most mothers because we are such paranoid parents by nature that you will usually feel the baby up against you. Just make sure that you keep the baby close to the wall instead of the edge of the bed so that she doesn't fall and if your bed isn't up against a wall roll up a blanket or towel to place behind her so that she doesn't roll out of the be. Good luck.

Amanda - posted on 11/13/2009

I have a 4 month old, and she sleeps mostly in her PnP next to our bed at night. However, I loveeee sleeping with her on occasion. We take naps together during the day, and it really creates a bond between us. I just put her in her PnP at night because our bed isn't big enough for my boyfriend, me and the baby! Lol. I also want her to learn to sleep on her own, but I have no problem sleeping with her once and a while.

Ashley - posted on 11/13/2009

Ok So i still sleep with my son sometimes and hes 14 months old. We love taking naps together. And for the longest he was in the bed with us all night. That did get old. I guess its just really up to you and how you feel. You have to remember that your the mother and to just follow your instincts. Cause you know whats best for the baby. I think that they are only this age once and you just do what ever makes you comfortable. My advice is to keep her in her own bed at night. But i think its ok to take naps with her. Its soooo sweet to. hope i helped any

Michelle - posted on 11/13/2009

I've slept with my Daughter Hailey since she was born. She is now 4 and sleeps in her own bed. Sometimes at night she still comes in and sleeps with me. We love taking naps together. She is the best to snuggle with.

There are people who are against it, but for me, I think it is whatever YOU and baby wants. It has been such a wonderful experience for Hailey and I.

Also I want to add that there were zero problems when we did make the transfer in to her own big girl bed. We made a big deal out of it, we bought her new bedding that she picked out and she was so excited to sleep in her bed and be a big girl. She knew if she got scared or felt alone our bed was open to her.

Carole - posted on 11/13/2009

I had both my children in bed with us but we invested in 2 wedges (something you put in their cots so that they don't roll over) and that kept us from rolling onto the kids.

Shanna - posted on 11/13/2009

i sleep wit my son all the time on the couch i cant say if its good or safe but i do itbeause i have a 2 story house and im disabled so its hard for me to go up and down the staris to make a bottle at night so i jus sleep on the couch wit him by feet so he cant roll off and i get great sleep if he is in his crib im lucky if he iwll sleep for 4 hours if he sleeps on the couch wit me he will sleep for 5 to 8 hours so yea i cant say if its good or bad but if u feel comfortable doing it then do it if not then dont

Dawn - posted on 11/13/2009

I did with my son. It was great way to get some sleep and breast feeding was much easier with doing it in bed. Now the bad part. I kicked him out of our bed when he was about 1yrs old. It took about 3 weeks of crying on his part before he finally accepted his crib. I still have him trying to sneak in bed at 5yrs old. My two daughters I didn't co-sleep a lot with. I didn't want to go thru the same issues of getting them in their own bed. But I did have a bassinet that I keeped right by my bedside and sleeped with my hand on them. They had no problem going to their own crib with they out grew the bassinet.

Tracy - posted on 11/13/2009

I have 8 children and slept with all of them and not one of them died from sleeping in bed with me. I am afraid that there is a lot of fearmongering in this area. I have never personally or through the news media heard of anyone rolling over their baby. Mothers have a natural instinct that protects their young for such things. My children all made the transition from mom's bed to own bed at one year. Yeah, it was a struggle with some of them, but you have to teach yourself to ignore the "I want out" cry and let them learn where their boundaries are. Good luck to you in your decision.

Sommer - posted on 11/13/2009

My son is 3 years old and I sleep with him. I didn't start sleeping with him until he was almost 2 years old. He had the stomach virus and was in the hospital and I was sleeping in his bed with him. Came home and slept with him for a few weeks, I couldn't sleep when I went back to a seperate bed and neither could he. My sister has 2 kids (ages 7 and 11) and they have always, ALWAYS slept in her bed with her. I don't think there is anything wrong with this. I slept in the bed with my parents until I was 12, and I think I am as normal as anyone else. I think it's a matter of, are you willing to lose any and all of your privacy. If you sleep better that way, then go for it.

Leslie - posted on 11/13/2009

Yes a baby can really die from this. They have been crushed and smothered. Not to mention the problems your going to have making them sleep in their own bed.I bought a bed extension for my kids. they were right beside me, but there was a safety divider between us. I also bought a mommy bear. It has the sound of a heart beat and they slept fine.

Kristi - posted on 11/12/2009

my boys (11 & 7) both slept with us, even tho they had their own rooms. the oldest one naturally, gradually, made it back into his bed by about age 4--when the youngest was born. the youngest is still in our bed, every night, & my husband & i wouldnt have it any other way. dont listen to all the things u hear about what u SHOULD be doing, and what u SHOULDNT be doing--i'm a 39 yr od mother of 2 fine boys, & i do what my HEART & MIND tells me is right. trust ur instincts, then take a good long look at the children of the people that are telling you that you're doing it wrong.......Mine also play video games all the time, and took a bottle til they were 4 and 5; the oldest one has been in the Gifted Program since 8 and they both have beautiful teeth. dont believe everything u hear just because its the only thing u've ever heard, and enjoy this precious gift that so few of us get to experience--being with our children every day and never missing the good stuff! :)

Minerva - posted on 11/12/2009

My husband and I had been sleeping with our daughter since she was born until now that she's 3 1/2 years old. I don't see anything wrong with sleeping with your child. Besides it's one way of bonding with her or staying close to her and attending to her immediate needs. Maybe what you are worrying about is that bec. she's so fragile that when you sleep with her she might get crushed or suffocated. Just sleep in a spacious bed where you, your husband and your daughter can move freely enough. Have a good day!

Ashlie - posted on 11/12/2009

my son is 4 months and his dad deployed after blake was a wk old .. and i have slept with him every night.. its comforting he may be ok with it but im very attached to it, i make sure hes not covered in blankets pillows etc

Sharon - posted on 11/12/2009

The back to sleep campaign is in place for a reason. Having lost a child to SIDS it is just not worth the risk (the Drs do not know what causes death) Placing a cradle or crib within arms reach of your bed also works. Maybe it is not as cozy but why take the smallest of chances?
My son did die in his crib.

Tracy - posted on 11/12/2009

your baby can die from this. However, I have 2 and neither one did. U just have to b extremely careful, and know what u are doing. I will say it is easier or at least it was for me, if it was just me and the baby and not daddy in the bed. Beware of blankets and pillows, all that good stuff. U have to decide what is best for u, and if it will work or not.