please help me

Maria Virgina - posted on 08/16/2017 ( 6 moms have responded )

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my daughter is 1 year and 4 months old and my problem is, she always cry for little things, example: she can't open the can, instead of asking for help she just cry so loud, i dont know how to make her stop this doings, when you said no dont do that, dont touch that dont put that one there, she still does and when im going to stop her shell surely going to cry. help me pla. what im going to do?

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Dove - posted on 08/16/2017

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Aw... you aren't a bad mom for yelling at your kid. Yelling at her is certainly not a GOOD thing... but most of us lose our cool from time to time. Raising other humans is challenging and exhausting. It's OK to give yourself a 'mommy time out' for a few minutes when she is pushing all your buttons. Make sure she is in a safe area and walk away to another room for some deep breathing or something. You HAVE to take care of yourself in order to take care of her.

You wouldn't be on here asking for help if you weren't 'good enough'... the ones that really aren't 'good enough'... don't care how they are towards their kids. ♥

Dove - posted on 08/16/2017

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Totally normal. Be patient. Be consistent on what you do and do not allow her to touch or do and let her throw her fit over it. Stay calm and do not react to the fit or give in just to get her to stop crying. She's still young enough that distraction is a very valuable technique. Try to focus a bit less on saying no to stuff all the time, but saying yes to stuff (like if she wants to play w/ the power cords instead of saying 'don't touch' try saying 'come over here and let's play w/ THIS... whatever toy of hers that is nearby that she likes... and then take her hand and lead her to it). Life is rough when you are little and you want to do all this stuff and the big people aren't letting you... She'll learn.

When she is having trouble doing something for herself you can offer help instead of expecting her to ask for it. That's another thing that takes a bit of time to learn... and she WANTS to do things for herself, but it's frustrating and overwhelming when she just can't do it yet.

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Maria Virgina - posted on 08/16/2017

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maybe because he is a boy, far different from the first two. ;) he is more playful and energetic to handle lol.

Maria Virgina - posted on 08/16/2017

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yes, sometimes i controlled my temper, sometimes when i got mad, i always try to be calm, i always tell to myself (thats your own child, give more effort to handle her, no one will take care of her but you) then i get calm, but sometimes i really dont control it, and sometimes she cuddle me, then kiss me, i kiss her back and always tell her that i love her ao much, even though i know that she cant clearly understand what im talking about. and i always tell her that im sorry becaise i yelled at her. i know she cant understand but i always make an effort to do that because i love her so much. more than anything, more than i love her dad.lol.

Dove - posted on 08/16/2017

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Oh... and on a side note. I'm not a new mom (kids are 15, 15, and 9 now), but I am MUCH better at giving parenting advice than taking it. I 'know' generally a lot of what to do, but actually putting it into practice...?? Well, I have a 9 year old son that is a parenting challenge not just to me, but to his big sisters as well. I thought I knew what I was doing w/ my first two, but he's a whole different ball game. lol

Maria Virgina - posted on 08/16/2017

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thanks for the advice. now i think im a bad mommy, because sometimes when i cant handle her, i got mad and yelled at her. but i think she dont understand what im saying or what my mood is, because sometime when i yelled she just smiled or laugh. and when she do that i always feel guilty for what ive done. im a first time mom. and i think maybe im still young and still need to learn more things im only 24 years old. aometime i cried when i feel im not good enough huhu.

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