Preschool or no Preschool?

Angella - posted on 01/18/2010 ( 78 moms have responded )

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My daughter just turned 4 and now everyone is asking me if I am putting her in preschool or not. I am not planning on it because she already knows all of her letters, colors, shapes, how to write her name and she is beginning to know how to read...as well as much more. Some people are telling me that I should still put her in a preschool? I myself did not go to preschool. Is it really that important?

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Teresa - posted on 01/18/2010

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I have a 10yr old daughter and was fortunate enough to stay home to raise her and I as well taught her her alphabet, colors, shapes, etc. She did not go to preschool and she is an honor roll student now in 5th grade. I am really not a firm believer of preschool if you can teach them what we taught our children at home so no, I really don't believe it's important to send them to preschool. Another thing to look at is to be able to associate with other children; but if your child is around other children and socializes well with them; I wouldn't worry about it.

Bridgett - posted on 01/19/2010

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i totally agree with you i did not put my now five year old in preschool, for lots of reasons one because i was home so why send her off that made no sense to me and two because i was teaching her the same things that she was gonna learn in there and third i dont think that a child should be in school when they are four they are still babies let them be babies and enjoy time with their mommy because when they turn five they will have to go to school and will have to go til they are 18 then two to four more years of college why make them go when they dont absolutely have too....enjoy your time with your baby, dont worry what people say eveyone has their own feelings about things just take advise in.....its up to you if you wanna use it or not...just know that it dosent make it any harder for them to learn or communicate with other children if they wait an extra year. Just enjoy your time together while you can!!

Lisa - posted on 01/24/2010

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Preschool is not necessary, especially if there is an expense and it's an expense that you can't afford. There are a lot of positives such as social interactions and preparing for kindergarten.
My daughter is 3 and goes to preschool through our public school system 4 mornings a week because she couldn't hear and her speech was delayed. But she absolutely loves it. It's her thing and she loves being with the other kids and going to school.

Rachael - posted on 01/22/2010

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no, it's not that important. people started pressuring me about it when my son was 3, so i asked a kindergarten teacher. she said that some of the brightest, most well-adjusted, friendliest, most confident kids she has had in class never went to preschool. if yo'ure doing other stuff to socialize her, then i wouldn't worry about it. good job on all of the great stuff yo'uve already taught her!! :)

Mirdza - posted on 01/22/2010

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I don't think it's that important, personally. My kids never went to preschool. I've actually homeschooled my daughter through kindergarten and now in first grade. There is so much we can do at home with them. Plus, there are many activities we can enroll them in so that they can have socialization with other kids their age.

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Gina - posted on 07/21/2012

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When I was 4 I was very advanced, just like your daughter I knew all the usual curriculum without having ever attended a school-like setting. My parents sent me and I talked them into taking me out, (I had very advanced verbal skills) I nagged and complained so much that they gave in and took me out. I grew up outside the U.S.A in a country where children are not required to attend neither Preschool nor Kindergarten. So I started school at 6yrs (1st grade).



As an adult I kinda wish my parents had been more firm and hadn't given in to my whims so easily. I say this because at the time, I found it difficult to relate and interact with other kids my age, socialization wasn't "my thing" so maybe if I had stayed I may have learned to enjoy the experience and would have made an effort to make friends. To this day I find it difficult to socialize and don't like to go out much. I don't know if attending Preschool and Kinder would have made any difference, but I always wonder. So now I have a 2.5 year old boy who seems to be the opposite, he is "Mr. Friendly" so I want to seize the moment and embrace this willingness he has to be friendly and social by enrolling him in Preschool. I think that Preschool helps kids gain independence and acceptance of structured play and learning, it exposes them to the world outside the home, so they don't feel like they are lost and helpless without 24/7 parental contact. This has to be a good survival skill or at least prepares them for what's to come in Elementary school.

Tara - posted on 01/25/2010

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School is much more about social development and teaching a child HOW to learn then it is about what they learn. I would recommend it, it will teach your child how to interact in a school setting with out children and teachers. Otherwise she may be behind when she needs to start school and would have trouble making friends etc. Ultimtely its your choice though. Good Luck

Pamela - posted on 01/25/2010

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Yes, I believe it teaches your child many social skills that will be needed when they have to enter school. I am a stay at home mom and sent all 3 of my children to preschool and they all were fast and easy learners at home too. It gave them wings when it was time to be with other people. They need more interaction then just mom & dad all day. Children their own ages teach them so much about interaction too. I say go for it, it will be worth it. Let me tell you the downside though,they do tend to pick up more illnesses then normal.

Stephanie - posted on 01/25/2010

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I do not think it is important. I think it depends on your child. I have an eight year old too, who did not go to preschool, and she is a straight A student, and is being tested for gifted. As long as you provide the building blocks at home, preschool is not necessary.

Karyn - posted on 01/24/2010

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i told everyone when my son was younger i wasn't going to send him to pre school either but he's now nearly 4 and i have since changed my mind i think all children need that interaction with others before going to kindy but i don't think you should let people pressure you into making up your mind

Rachelle - posted on 01/24/2010

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it is important for the social aspects...so if she has contact with other kids her age without going to preschool, and you really feel she knows all the other stuff...then it is not a big deal...in my opinion!

Brittany - posted on 01/24/2010

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I suggest at lwast 1 yr of preschool even if its half day. As a preschool teacher before my son was born, letter numbers and colors are important but the social aspect is even more! I worked with 3yrold and children who came in that had never had to be on any sch but their own, or never had to share with others, or who never had authority figures other than mom and dad, etc had a hard time adjusting. its good for them to learn these things before it counts and can affect them in school

Adriana - posted on 01/24/2010

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My son loves going to preschool. It's good for him to socialize with other kids in a structured enviorment. I enjoy having a couple of hours to myself a week to run errands and do my food shopping but do remember that not every preschool is the same and you should definately do you homework when choosing one for you child.

Sabrina - posted on 01/24/2010

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I spent 8 years managing one center of a very well known (and expensive) preschool. They have an incredible preschool program for children and the children always enjoyed it. It was rare that a child didn't enjoy their time there. That being said...NO...Preschool is not THAT important. I understand the whole schedule thing, but it's important to have a schedule with your children anyway when you are intending on sending them to school. If she already knows all these things then the only thing she'll be getting it social interaction and she can get that by going to playgroups and parks, church,etc.

Also, I understand the whole thing about playing in groups with others and all...but that is a developmental thing that occurs with children as they get older, she won't be lagging behind socially simply because she didn't go to preschool. Enjoy your time with her before you know it she'll be off and running into kindergarten w/ a great big smile

Angella - posted on 01/24/2010

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Thank you everyone for your comments, suggestions, and personal stories. They DO help. I still have a little bit of time to decide and discuss all of our choices with my husband. But it comforts me to know that so many other moms are and have been in my place. Thanks!

Celina - posted on 01/24/2010

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My son is a social butterfly, when i took him to kindy it had such a bad effect on him, turned my social butterfly into a shy clingy child with no confidence. Took me months to get my boy back to his normal self, kindy for us was a nightmare. Go to the park or something for social interaction, hang out with friends with kids, they will still get socialization if they don't go. Besides, we are stay at home mums for a reason. Enjoy your kids while they are still kids. (sorry if this offends anyone, not my intention)

Sarah - posted on 01/24/2010

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I think that it is all great that she alrady knows so much but she is missing the socialization of other children. It is impotant for children to learn to be in a group setting and be able to solve there own conflicts that they learn in school, using words, I would like a turn with that when you are done, and learn to wait instead of having it right away. It also gives her a sense of resonsibility of ones self to have that sense she can go ad explore with other children aqay from mom and dad. They all learn from eachother and you will be amazed at what she will come up with.

Leslie - posted on 01/24/2010

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My kids loved pre-school and still talk about it fondly. I loved it too! It shouldn't be about the schooling rather the bonding and learning to be with a teacher and friends their age all doing something together.

Heather - posted on 01/24/2010

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I didn't notice anyone mention that kids need to learn there is such a thing as a schedule and a routine and an order to things. Pre-school helps kids transition from being at home to being in a school setting. I've heard teachers say that kids that went to pre-school do better in kindergarten. In pre-school they try to teach the kids to be a little more independent. Sure, pre-school looks like an expensive play date, I'll admit that but there is more going on than that. I think it's important and I'm glad I sent all 3 of my kids.

Rebecca - posted on 01/24/2010

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It's more so a social experince. But if your daughter mixes a lot with other children it is quite the same. Some kids are fine going from no pre school to school five days a week, others not. In Australia unless you are home schooled your child must go to 4 year old pre school. Love and light Rebecca from Yoga Mums "aussie yoga".

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Well, from the looks of it you have done a pretty good job, I don't think its very important, My daughter did not attend preschool I barely wanted to send her to kinder, but Now she is in 4th grade and she is superior honor roll! My 4 yr old son right now is not attending preschool and I have been told I should send him, I think as long as they get the heads up here at home they will be fine. plus after kinder they have a long way to go of school. I want to enjoy him while I can.

Amnie - posted on 01/23/2010

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I say send.... it's very important to adjust to being sent to a preschool for maybe a couple of days per week so that the child can adjust from 2 days to 5 days (kindergarten)... my 4 year old goes 3 days and he loves it... I love it. It's obviously up to you, there is some great advice above which is great, so I will keep mine short and sweet. Good luck.. Me - I would send. Even 1 - 2 days is great. Ps kindergarten is more like Yr 1 (from our day) my experience twins in 7 yr old twin girls, 4 yr ld boy and 19 month old.

Tracey - posted on 01/23/2010

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I would highly recommend pre-school just for the social and schedule aspect. It's awesome that she knows all of those things, but the risk of separation anxiety for her when she starts kindergarten will be greater if she never has that time away from you in a scheduled, structured environment. Most pre-schools do 2-3 times a week. I would think in your case, 2 times a week would be plenty...but then again, it's totally parent preference. I have a great friend who didn't put her son in pre-school and he's doing just fine in kindergarten. Good luck!!

Heather - posted on 01/23/2010

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Great question!! I struggle with the answer to this all the time. I taught daycare before becoming a SAHM and I also have a BS in Family studies.. I know a LOT about children but somedays I think my 3 yr old should be in Preschool not for the learning b/c he knows most everything he should, like colors and number etc... but for the socialization. He's outgoing and makes friends easily when we are at the park or playgroup. But I just sometimes doubt my self thinking shouldn't he be in a school like atmosphere? I think the answer is whatever you know to be right for your child! It used to be that kindergarten prepared children for school but now its said that preschool prepares children for kindergarten, really??? Expecting a 3-4 year old to learn to share and communicate properly with a room full of 20+ other children when really they just can't always and even rarely do that how stressful to be asked to wait your turn or to effectively communicate with 20 other children daily when your cognitively not capable of doing it all the time. I know children do not need preschool but I do find me doubting myself once in a while wondering if I am doing a good enough job at home. You just have trust in your self and know that your are your child first teacher and most important teacher and everything your child need to know they will learn from you first!

Beverley - posted on 01/23/2010

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My son who's now 6 went to nursery (pre-school) and it did him the world of good. It helps them in so many ways, he was very clever when it came to his letters etc but i think that it's also a great learning curve for them to bond with the other children. It helps them to mature in a way.



By taking my son to nursery it helped when he first stared primary school, he couldn't wait to run into the classroom. I was more nervous than he was!!!



I'd reccomend it to any mum to take their children to nursery, i'm looking forward to my youngest son going to nursery when he gets to that age.



It does them the world of good, i'd give it a try and see how your daughter goes on.



Bev x

LeAnne - posted on 01/23/2010

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She doesn't sound like she would really benefit from it, unless, you just want her to have the experience.

Giseli - posted on 01/23/2010

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Def preschool,for sure!!My daughter loves it,it's a great social and academic experience for kids.Better than stay @ home watching tv all day:)

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Really it is just a primer for school. It will get her used to going to school and being away from you. It will teach her how to interact with other peers away from parents. It is good for socialization and will help her transition to a more independent day without her mom or dad being with her all of the time.

I think it is good if you can find one that is part time and will allow you to try it out to see if you even like it. Just because you did not go does not mean she shouldn't and vice versa... it may be best for her and the only way to know is to try. If she hates it or you don't like it... no big deal, take her out, on the other hand she may love it and you get a few free days to yourself... win/win!

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I think the social interaction is good for the kids, my oldest daughter is still friends with some of the kids she went to pre-school with. at the end of the day it's up to you

Jodi - posted on 01/22/2010

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I did not go to preschool, I do not plan on sending my daughter to preschool. I really don't think it's that important. For socialization there are playgroups and you can always make playdates, preschool is not the only way to socialize your child! I personally feel like we expect too much from children at too early of an age, such as being expected to perform in a school setting at 3 or 4 years old...they should be active and playing, not sitting on their bums being taught. They should learn while they play and the best way to do that is one on one interaction with a parent! I think you're doing the absolutely right thing! I had no problem leaving my mother for kindergarden, nor did any of my non-preschool attending sisters! We could sit and listen just fine for the length of time demanded by us and I honestly think it's not a learned behavior, but comes with age and just being able to! Do what you're doing and what you think is best for your child!

I was reading by the time I entered kindergarden and knew most of the things my peers were learning, I was often put in a corner with a book or 1st grade homework to work by myself...not fun or social for a 5 year old (almost 6!) I would say keep teaching her as it sounds like you're doing an excellent job by yourself! Or if you decide to send her to preschool/kindergarden, make sure they have some sort of plan for children who already know the information that is better than sitting in a corner! Best of luck!

Deb - posted on 01/22/2010

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The social aspect is just as important. Working into an easy separation for you and for your child makes the transition to Kindergarten so much easier. Practicing sitting and listening in a group is tough for little ones so this just helps them get ready for school too. And it's usually only on hour or two a couple of days a week. My twins loved having that many more kids to play with. Co-ops give you an opportunity to participate too.

Felicia - posted on 01/22/2010

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My daughter is the same way. She knows more than the kids in her class. The only reason I put her in preschool was because she's very shy. My opinion is to send her to preschool. Get her used to her being away from you for a while. This way when she goes to school she won't have that anxiety when you drop her off, like some kids do. I think it'll be good for her!

Dana - posted on 01/22/2010

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I am not sure my daughter will go to pre-school. Can't afford it out here in the "Seattle area". We make too much to qualify for head start but not enough to pay tuition. The local school system has a free preschool but they take the low income, military or disabled before they take any other kids.

She needs pre-school for the social aspect. She has a problem with sitting down and being quite and following directions.

Ciara - posted on 01/22/2010

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It would be nice to put her in preschool so she can be aroung other children and get the feel what its like to be in school now that she is small.

Crystal - posted on 01/22/2010

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Our son is 20 months and we've already decided that we aren't sending him to preschool. Neither one of us went, and we always have done just fine. We're already teaching him colors, and he already can say and recognize up to 5, red, blue, yellow, and green. He loves being read to, loves books, so we don't feel there will really be a need, especially since I'm home with him to teach him.

As another poster said, we're not for putting him into school at 4. Let him be a little kid.

As for socialization, there are lots of kids around where we live who are around his age now. He has 2 older boy cousins who adore him and have no issues about taking "the baby" around with them (6 and 4). The biggest problem with them is the 6 year old wanting to hold him all the time! And we plan on enrolling him in the local YMCA gymnastics. And if he wants, the same hap ki do school his daddy attended, or the Y's karate classes. So he'll get plenty of social time with the Y classes, the playgrounds we go to all the time, and his cousins.

Maria - posted on 01/22/2010

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I asked my PAT the same question, tough call, I am in the same situation, but he is the last of 5 so....
How does she do in social situations with her peers? That would be my only concern. Social interaction is more importand than all the other stuff.
My 11 yr old was super smart, which sounds like your daughters achievments have proven, but he has social issues.
So my 3 yr old, we have not pushed academic stuff and are focused more on social skills.
Live and learn, go with your heart!

Samantha - posted on 01/22/2010

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When you put your kids in preschool, the very first day--the very first thing the teacher says to you is "They don't teach social skills". If you are putting your kids in school for socialization please think about all the other opportunities you have at hand to give your children interaction with peers and the community. Schools are not a very good place to let your children learn such vital skills.



Preschools are a waste of time and money in my opinion--but then, I am a homeschooler, so I might be a wee bit biased.

Maria - posted on 01/21/2010

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I think preschool is a good idea, mainly so she gets some social interaction out in the world, aside from her family and comfort zone. It's good to get out of the house. And preschool is only part-time.

However, I went to full-time pre-school when I was four, and I'm still a bit socially awkward! Hah!

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I don't think it is! we sent my son to 4-k because it was offered first come/first served free through our school district, half days. 5k is mandatory all day here, and i thought it would be a good way to ease him into things. Also, he's an only child and we don't have any family near us so the social interaction was a plus. If your daughter is already getting some social interaction with other children, I'd say skip it if that's what you're leaning to. She'll be in school all day soon enough.

Sarah - posted on 01/21/2010

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I did not put my children in preschool. I don't think it is at all necessary for a child that is learning at home what they would learn in preschool. The word socialize is extremely over used, in my opinion. I definitely agree with a previous post, let them be children. You only have them 18 years, enjoy every moment you can. Preschool is a lot of play time and that's great. But I just can't see paying for my children to go away from me for hours a day to learn and play things they can do at home. You know what's best for you and your children. I don't believe a child is going to be harmed going to preschool or not going to preschool. They have the rest of their lives to be in school....do what you feel is best and your child will be fine, either way.

Robyn - posted on 01/21/2010

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i definitally think it is a very good idea. its not about teaching them letter and colors shapes. not jsut taht. its the interaction of other toddlers there own age that they dont get when there at home. like moms we want to get out once in a while cuz being confined at home with kids all the time wears us down. same as kids it wears them down being at home with us everyday and letting them do playschool give them that away time they need.

Robyn - posted on 01/21/2010

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Definitally Put into preschool. my son loves it and would go everyday if he could. and hes only just turning 4. definitally a good way for him to interact with other kids his own age. teaches good materials. i love it.

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My daughter was the same. I chose to put her just because of the social interaction. I am glad I did. She didn't learn anything but gained alot. If that makes any sense.

Sierra - posted on 01/21/2010

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I too did not go to preschool but heres my experience with my 3 & 5 year olds. They both attend Head Start, which is basiclly a preschool and have really grown & changed this year. It has helped prepare my kids for school by learning how to follow directions, figure out social sharing type things, listing to adults (not just parents). It has also given them a sense of day, week hour, ect. I think that if your daughter already knows much of the fundements it can still be a great stepping stone.

Angela - posted on 01/21/2010

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Preschool is more than learning her abcs and 123s. It socializing before she starts kindergarten. It is preparing her to be on her own thru the school day with out her mom. Its not life or death but if your child has separation anxiety or problems leaving you I think it is a good idea. All three of my kids went to some form of preschool so when they started school full day they were use to it and LOVED it! Good luck. Only you know what to do with your own child. Putting her in preschool does not make you a bad mom.

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Three of my five children went to preschool. Only one really needed to because he has special needs. If you have her at home, she gets to play with other children her age, and she would be ready for Kindergarten next year then don't worry about it. Enjoy her and let her enjoy too!

Stefanie - posted on 01/20/2010

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I put my 2 1/2 yr. old daughter in preschool and she loves it. But, only recently has she been reluctant to go. So I am on the fence about this one. But, I am sticking to my guns about it. She needs preschool to socialize and learn how to interact with other children besides adults. So I think preschool is a good thing.

Christine - posted on 01/20/2010

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Unfortunately only you know what is best for your child. I personally will be sending my daughter to preschool simply for the socialization aspect and learning to share and listen to a teacher, and whatnot. She is staying at home with me, and has since birth, so I think this stuff will be very important for her to work on. Good luck with your decision!

Medic - posted on 01/20/2010

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I sent my son because he wanted to go to school. He is 3 now and goes 2 days a week and next year he will go 3 days. I think its great for him because he is an only child(for a few more days anyways) and he is smart but he needs to be around other kids more. He loves it and gets upset when they don't have school due to breaks.

Melissa - posted on 01/20/2010

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I am not sure if preschool is that important, but my son went. My daughter who is only 2 years 5 months will be starting early head start in feb. I wanted to give my kids the best out of life and that was making sure they got social interaction with other kids and not just me. I want my kids to be happy and loved so much that I wanted to make sure they had all the schooling they needed. Even though my nieces did not or are not going to preschool I wanted to get my daughter used to the idea of getting up and going to school.

Jackie - posted on 01/20/2010

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I will say this I do plan on putting my toddler in preschool when he turns 3 mainly for the social interaction. My mother had me go to preschool for the social interaction but I was very shy and I don't think it really changed my shyness as a child all that much. I am an introvert as an adult. I think it's good to try to get your child to socialize but I don't think it's ok to force it because your child is who they are no matter if they go to preschool or not. Every child's personality is different and I think it's important to respect that, to not force them to be someone they're not. They may feel a lot more secure within themselves if you do.

Celina - posted on 01/20/2010

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NO PRESCHOOL, sorry i'm dead set on that one, i have worked in a creche, and worked in a kindy, i sent my son to a kindy and it was the worst thing i have ever done. He got punched, strangled, urinated on and told by the head teacher that he was stupid (he is top of his class at school). When i complained they brushed it under the carpet. I can tell you now, working in both a creche and kindy i have seen what goes on behind closed doors. My daughter will not be going. I'm sure there must be good creches and kindys but i have seen enough to not take that risk again. It took me months to get my sons confidence back, he had nightmares, bruises, total fear, clinging and crying, begging me not to take him. You can teach them more at home than they will ever learn at kindy. It's not important, better off without it.

Rebekah - posted on 01/20/2010

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I didn't really have a choice, my son who is 10 now was diagnosed with autism at 2 almost 3 years old. He received therapy from the Childrens Hospital close to my home, and they also required him to be in a special pre-school through my local public elementary. He is in the fourth grade now, and being integrated into general ed. with minimal special education. I credit the progress that he's made both due to my stubborn pushy nature, and the specialized pre-school that he received. Under normal circumstances with a normally developing child I don't know that I would put my child in pre-school for academic purposes, but the psycho-social development that they can receive in this environment is something that can't be provided for in most homes.

Sarah - posted on 01/20/2010

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My 2 year old goes once a week to a group called Wee Twos... it is an hour long and they play, do a craft, have snack and sing :) I think that it is great for kids to learn stuff at an early age but the best thing they can learn is socialization.... and my older daughter goes to school so alot of times the little one is home with just me and no other kids... i think its a good idea...

Martha - posted on 01/20/2010

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I agree, it is your decision. My daughter went to preschool off and on. She enjoyed the socialization, but I also worked. My son who is 3 is not going because I stay at home because he is autistic. He has been denied school services and they feel he needs to go to daycare for the social skills, but that is exactly what he needs to be taught by professionals that deal with this type of disorder. If he was not autistic, I would be working and he would be going to preschool just to be around other children. Even a mother's day out program that is only a few hours a week would be good. Most day cares will not take him because of his autism. The school even went as far as telling me not to tell them anything was wrong with him. Ultimately, it is up to you and what you feel would be good foe her and if you feel she is doing good at home, then I think she will be just fine. Good Luck.

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