Putting 9 month old to bed Help!

Amanda - posted on 03/01/2010

My daughter is almost 11 mos old and we still rock her to sleep. It's our special snuggle time. She's such a busy girl when she's awake and my husband and I enjoy the quietness of snuggling her to sleep (oftentimes we'll find ourselves dozing off depending on the kind of day we've had!). It's relaxing for everyone involved..... most of the time. :) There are the times that she fights and doesn't want to go to sleep right away. That's usually when we just put her in her crib with a stuffed animal or two and let her play quietly, in the dark (she uses a nightlight). When she starts to cry out in a way that we know means she's had enough and is ready to settle down, my husband or I will go in and start the snuggling routine again. We do have a regular bedtime routine that starts at the same time every night, no matter what - I am a self-proclaimed Sleep Nazi! :p

I do agree with the advice on finding a method that you and your spouse are comfortable with. We've figured out our method and it works great for us. I hope that you are able to find something that respects the needs of every member of your family.

Chantelle - posted on 03/01/2010

Hi Lisa,
9mnths old and still cradeling her to sleep thats more trouble for you then her. have you herd of controlled crying?
try it it works wonders its hard very hard when you start with it you must put her in her cot with bottle or just after her bottle when she it tired, tell her its bed time and kiss her and walk out she will play games and throw tantrums alsorts as she has you wrapped around every finger so be strong go back in after 3 mins lay her down pat her DO NOT PICK HER UP!!! once she is calmed tell her its bed time walk out (she will keep this up for a while) wait 6mins and do same thing repeat this cycle but leave it longer between going back into her each time, this will tell her that your not coming in when she wants you to and shell soon get the picture.it takes them 3 days to learn something and one day to get out of the routine so you will have to stay at home for 3 days and persist it will be harder for u as you have left it at a stage that she knows more now and milks everything but remember it will work it took me 3 days to get my daughter to go to sleep on her own and now sleeps perfectly if i hadnt of done this i would of gone mental lol.. i really hope this helps you. the key is to be persistant you will prob cry and get angry at her just breath and 3 days you should have a baby girl who doesnt need you to put her to sleep. good luck let us know how you go.

Dina - posted on 01/25/2009

You could try to do a routine at night. A bath,jammies, a story, then down for the night. When you put her in the crib put on some sleepy time music. Classical music, or lullaby music (or which ever you prefer). We learned the hard way with my first. I held, rocked or nursed him to sleep. It was hard to break him out of it. When we had my daughter, I made sure I put her to bed the same way every night. It REALLY helps. She rarely cried. We now have a thrid, and we do the same with him. Another thing I did was, put a basket with toys in it where he can reach them. (I attached it to the side of the crib) If he isn't tired right away, he gets his toys and plays with them. I put soft toys so that he doesn't hurt himself when he does fall asleep. Then I go in and clean up before I go to bed. Good luck with getting her to sleep on her own. I hope you find something that helps.

Julie - posted on 01/25/2009

I think that you need to go with your gut. If letting her cry it out feels wrong or bothers you then don't do it. If you feel ok with it, and your partner supports it, then give it a try. I have figured out that what is ok for some moms isn't ok with others. I have tried to let my baby cry it out, but she freaks out right away, and I just can't do it. I felt really bad at first, but then I got the no cry sleep solution, and it has helped a lot.

One of the big things to do is routine. We do supper, bath, book and bed, at pretty much the same time every night. We use the aveeno lavender and vanilla bath. I don't know if it really works, but I figure it can't hurt. We read some books in the living room, and at this point, the tv is off, the lights are down. After the books I put on some soft music, and walk around for a few minutes with her in my arms (Ifor about 5 minutes) At first she used to fight me a bit on this, but now she puts her down on my shoulder, start yawning. It's her clue that it's bedtime. Now sometimes she will fall asleep in my arms and I can put her in her crib no problem. Other times she won't go right down, but is sleepy enough that if I start to nurse her she goes right out. We've been doing this for about a month now, and it is working great. She is almost always in bed by 7:30.

Laura - posted on 01/25/2009

My daughter is 8 months and i've never let her "cry it out".  I think there are other solutions that won't jrisk jeopardizing her trust in me.  I still can't just put her in her crib while she's awake and leave, but our bedtime routine is very relaxing and takes about 30-45 minutes.  she and i lay in my bed, dim lights and soft music, i read a few books, then just lay with her while she rolls around until she eventually falls asleep.  soon I'll be able to set her in her crib because she'll have learned to sooth herself to sleep without all that stressful, anxiety producing crying.

Wendy - posted on 01/25/2009

I agree that letting her cry it out is the only way to go. It will be hard, but definetly effective. It is also very important that you have some kind of bedtime routine. Keep the routine consistant so that your daughter knows that "bedtime" is coming.

Lauren - posted on 01/25/2009

Read a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution." It is great. I personally was never able to let my children cry it out. I felt horrible and always ended up picking them up out of bed. My now 19 month old would cause himself to throw up. This book is great. You first chart what it is they do and then slowly try the methods they suggest. It really helped me.

I also play music when my toddler falls asleep. I have since he was born. I use a cd called Heartbeat Therapy. It is a cd filled with nursery rhymes and in the background there is a steady heartbeat. It sounds just like your own.

Make sure that you are creating a bedtime routine as well. I use the bedtime bath and or lotion....get him changed and all the while am saying "night night time". This way he knows what we are doing. Try to keep every night the same and she will eventually catch on to what is going on.

Hope this helps.

Jade - posted on 01/25/2009

Although i dont normaly agree with letting babies cry it out kinda thing, iu think at the mmoment to get her used to going to bed at a certain time and what not you might have no choice to let her cry it out till she learns when bedtime is and that it is in fact time to go to sleep. like Lady said they are very smart and they know how to use you haha. My daughter is one month old and has me wrapped around her little finger haha

Lady Mary E.A. McNamara - posted on 01/25/2009

9 months old?!  Put her in her crib and let her cry it out.  You should've done this about 5 or 6 months ago.  Even babies are VERY smart.  If they can manipulate you, they will.  She has you wrapped around her finger.  I have several children.  When each one was around 3 months old, I fed them, rocked them, and put them to bed.  I sat outside their door while they cried themselves to sleep.  My children spit up a lot even though I breastfed so I always snuck in to check on them, but I didn't pick them up.  It usually only took one night.  But I'm including nap times too.  Sometimes a second night.  I usually cried with them - it was very hard on me, but then they were golden and I got to sleep through the night.