Rude comments about staying a home

Crystal - posted on 02/21/2012

I would say, come over and observe...we don't sit around all day! They obviously don't know what its like to have kids demanding your attention all the time, while trying to get things done around the house, use the phone, or let alone use the restroom! lol They are in a different place in their life, so its clear they are clueless. When they get off work they have no one to care for besides themselves. I usually don't pay attention to those types of comments because in my head I'm thinking, Oh you just wait! lol Being a SAHM isn't for everyone..and those who judge, usually have never tried it.

Erin - posted on 02/21/2012

I tell them I they are lucky their jobs ends at five, I work an endless shift.

Tabitha - posted on 02/18/2009

Ok. I've stopped laughing at the "schedule".  Boy, it sounded familiar.  I have gotten a lot of comments over the years.  I've been out 12 years with my boys.  In that 12 years, I've volunteered a lot.  I've gone back to college and gotten an Associate's degree.  I've been a youth director at church.  Unless people do this job, they are clueless!!!  Most of the ladies that make the comments dont understand because they must do so little on their day offs.  They must think that every day for us is like their vacation days.  Only the ones that have done it can tell you the emotional, financial, mental and physical strain it can be at times.  You're with kids all day mostly no adult conversation.  You go without so many things that those career ladies get to have.  I certainly don't walk around with $85.00 purses or get a pedicure and manicure once a week.  Sometimes I talk adults to death when I get around them and other times I have to make myself talk because I find myself thinking.  They may not make sense but I am so quiet during the day in my thoughts with the kids at school that sometimes I forget to talk!  Geezz!  I think what hurts me the most is all the ladies that I thought I could run to lunch with never called those 12 years.  It is almost as if you get forgotten because you're not working.  I personally think they want their cake and want to eat it too but they take it out on us...lol  You have to sacrifice to stay home.  Some women just aren't up to the sacrifice.  My kids come first, then hubby, and then me.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tara - posted on 02/18/2009

Quoting Kate:

Honestly? I tell people to piss off.

You're doing what's right for you and your family. If they can't respect that then they can keep on truckin'. I'm a SAHM, too and let me tell you-it ain't easy.

SAHM work the equivalent of TWO FULL TIME JOBS. Next time some one says you don't do anything all day you can tell them your schedule:

7am: Wake up. Take shower (if lucky), dress children for school. Make breakfast, feed family.
8am: Drive children to school
9am: Go to grocery store
9:30 Bank
10am: Eat breakfast
10:30 doctor's appointment
11 get oil changed in car
11:15 convince mechanic you're not an idiot
12:15 leave to pick up kids at pre-school
1pm: arrive late at preschool because of traffic. Didn't you enjoy that 45 minutes all to yourself in the car in traffic?
1:30 snack
2 nap time! YAY!
2:30 realize the children will not nap. Give up on getting ahead on your laundry.
3pm pick up kids from school
3:30 snack
4pm homework. No, you cannot watch cartoons first.
4:30 give up on dishes and sit down to help kids with homework
4:45 stop preschooler from writing on the wall
5pm start dinner
5:45 actually start dinner after sending children to various rooms for time outs due to fights and general mischief
6pm: cry.
6:30 WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR FATHER?!
7pm serve dinner. Pizza counts
7:30 brush teeth, baths. Pajamas
8pm: Story time. No, I will not read The Lorax again tonight. Pick a different book.
8:30 finally tuck children in. Turn out the lights, close door.
8:32 "Mommy, I want a glass of water"
9pm Children are quiet. Now you can start your chores!
10 pm second load of laundry is done. Third round coming up
11pm Dishes and laundry are finally done. Take a breath
11:30 take a shower (if you can keep your eyes open)
12am go to bed.
12:03 realize the dogs haven't been fed. Get up and feed dogs
12:30 go back to bed
1am: after a half hour of laying awake making mental to do lists you finally manage to dose off.
2am: Preschooler wakes up with a bad dream. This wakes up other children
3am after sufficient consoling and convincing that no, their are no dinosaurs in your closet, children are back in bed.
3:15 fall in bed. Pass out from exhaustion.
*sleep*
7am: DO IT AGAIN! YAY!

Now, ask those career girls how their day went. :P

LMAO...Thanks for that!!!

Tabitha - posted on 02/18/2009

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!  That was hilarious!

Rebekka - posted on 02/18/2009

Um....yeah....My husband actually used to be one of those people. He went to work all day and wondered why I couldn't get EVERYTHING done while he was gone (you know, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting) -- I mean, all I did was sit around and eat bon-bons all day, right? Well, then I joined a gym and he got to spend his first 2 hours at home with our son....and he found out just what a handful a baby is. It's not just sitting around all day long - you are basically like a cattle rustler, keeping the baby out of everything! Then there's the playing, the reading, the feeding, the bathing, the changing the diapers, etc. Yeah....until someone spends the day as an at-home mom, they will never fully understand just what it means to have a full-time job!

Megan - posted on 02/18/2009

Don’t worry I’m in the same boat, most of my friends are single and very career orientated. I have few friends with children and they also work but this is because they have to for financial reasons. I sometimes feel like I don’t contribute enough at home as I’m not earning anymore but at the end of the day we can afford for me not to work and I have to remind myself now and again that being a stay at home mum is the most rewarding and important thing I could be doing at the moment. I don’t know whether it’s just me but its bloody hard work. At the end of the day we can’t clock off at 5:30 and have weekends off, this job is 24 hours a day 7 days a week and anyone that judges and thinks we don’t do anything needs to have a go themselves and they will soon change their minds!

Stacy - posted on 02/17/2009

Quoting Kate:

Quoting Carolyn:

Quoting Kate:

Honestly? I tell people to piss off.

You're doing what's right for you and your family. If they can't respect that then they can keep on truckin'. I'm a SAHM, too and let me tell you-it ain't easy.

SAHM work the equivalent of TWO FULL TIME JOBS. Next time some one says you don't do anything all day you can tell them your schedule:

7am: Wake up. Take shower (if lucky), dress children for school. Make breakfast, feed family.
8am: Drive children to school
9am: Go to grocery store
9:30 Bank
10am: Eat breakfast
10:30 doctor's appointment
11 get oil changed in car
11:15 convince mechanic you're not an idiot
12:15 leave to pick up kids at pre-school
1pm: arrive late at preschool because of traffic. Didn't you enjoy that 45 minutes all to yourself in the car in traffic?
1:30 snack
2 nap time! YAY!
2:30 realize the children will not nap. Give up on getting ahead on your laundry.
3pm pick up kids from school
3:30 snack
4pm homework. No, you cannot watch cartoons first.
4:30 give up on dishes and sit down to help kids with homework
4:45 stop preschooler from writing on the wall
5pm start dinner
5:45 actually start dinner after sending children to various rooms for time outs due to fights and general mischief
6pm: cry.
6:30 WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR FATHER?!
7pm serve dinner. Pizza counts
7:30 brush teeth, baths. Pajamas
8pm: Story time. No, I will not read The Lorax again tonight. Pick a different book.
8:30 finally tuck children in. Turn out the lights, close door.
8:32 "Mommy, I want a glass of water"
9pm Children are quiet. Now you can start your chores!
10 pm second load of laundry is done. Third round coming up
11pm Dishes and laundry are finally done. Take a breath
11:30 take a shower (if you can keep your eyes open)
12am go to bed.
12:03 realize the dogs haven't been fed. Get up and feed dogs
12:30 go back to bed
1am: after a half hour of laying awake making mental to do lists you finally manage to dose off.
2am: Preschooler wakes up with a bad dream. This wakes up other children
3am after sufficient consoling and convincing that no, their are no dinosaurs in your closet, children are back in bed.
3:15 fall in bed. Pass out from exhaustion.
*sleep*
7am: DO IT AGAIN! YAY!

Now, ask those career girls how their day went. :P

Thanks Sweetie. That pretty much sums it up. I couldn't stop laughing... are you sure you're not peeking in my windows?

*checks schedule* nope, didn't have time. ;D

This is hilarious!! And almost exactly what I go thru everyday!! Thank you for giving us SAHM a reality check that life is about the same for all of us!! I know we all laughed and nodded along with this!!

Laurie - posted on 02/17/2009

Here is something for us stay at home moms....


NEW YORK — If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.

This reflected a 3 percent raise from last year's $134,121, according to Salary.com Inc, Waltham, Mass.-based compensation experts.

The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.

A mother who holds full-time job outside the home would earn an additional $85,939 for the work she does at home, Salary.com reported.

Last year she would have earned $85,876 for her at-home work, it said.

Salary.com compiled the online responses of 26,000 stay-at-home mothers and 14,000 mothers who also work outside the home.

Julie - posted on 02/17/2009

ask them to swap places with you for 2 weeks then see if they feel the same

Laura - posted on 02/17/2009

Maybe you should give your friends a relaxing weekend looking after you children. It sounds like they need time sitting around doing nothing!!!!  

Rebecca - posted on 02/17/2009

I tell them look you chose your career as a business woman, I chose my career to be a mom and wife. You get the sense of accomplishment from a nice corner office and a promotion, I get mine when my son shares a big smile and a I did it mom!! from something I have taught him to do on his own. And not having to work I don't miss the school events, football games, tee ball games, and he knows that I will always be there to support him no matter what he is doing, he will always find my face in the crowd with a big smile just for him. As for all the time in the world, he is my world and I will go on 4 hours of sleep from staying up all night getting grass stains out of his uniforms, and sewing his costumes for the school play, and cheking his homework, so I know that he is taken care of the way my husband and I want him taken care of.

Candi - posted on 02/16/2009

Just start naming off all the things that you have to do. I am sure they do not realize how hard and how time consuming being a stay at home mom is. I have never worked so hard in my life. It is the only 24/7 job out there, remind them of that.

Donielle - posted on 02/16/2009

Quoting Kate:

Honestly? I tell people to piss off.

You're doing what's right for you and your family. If they can't respect that then they can keep on truckin'. I'm a SAHM, too and let me tell you-it ain't easy.

SAHM work the equivalent of TWO FULL TIME JOBS. Next time some one says you don't do anything all day you can tell them your schedule:

7am: Wake up. Take shower (if lucky), dress children for school. Make breakfast, feed family.
8am: Drive children to school
9am: Go to grocery store
9:30 Bank
10am: Eat breakfast
10:30 doctor's appointment
11 get oil changed in car
11:15 convince mechanic you're not an idiot
12:15 leave to pick up kids at pre-school
1pm: arrive late at preschool because of traffic. Didn't you enjoy that 45 minutes all to yourself in the car in traffic?
1:30 snack
2 nap time! YAY!
2:30 realize the children will not nap. Give up on getting ahead on your laundry.
3pm pick up kids from school
3:30 snack
4pm homework. No, you cannot watch cartoons first.
4:30 give up on dishes and sit down to help kids with homework
4:45 stop preschooler from writing on the wall
5pm start dinner
5:45 actually start dinner after sending children to various rooms for time outs due to fights and general mischief
6pm: cry.
6:30 WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR FATHER?!
7pm serve dinner. Pizza counts
7:30 brush teeth, baths. Pajamas
8pm: Story time. No, I will not read The Lorax again tonight. Pick a different book.
8:30 finally tuck children in. Turn out the lights, close door.
8:32 "Mommy, I want a glass of water"
9pm Children are quiet. Now you can start your chores!
10 pm second load of laundry is done. Third round coming up
11pm Dishes and laundry are finally done. Take a breath
11:30 take a shower (if you can keep your eyes open)
12am go to bed.
12:03 realize the dogs haven't been fed. Get up and feed dogs
12:30 go back to bed
1am: after a half hour of laying awake making mental to do lists you finally manage to dose off.
2am: Preschooler wakes up with a bad dream. This wakes up other children
3am after sufficient consoling and convincing that no, their are no dinosaurs in your closet, children are back in bed.
3:15 fall in bed. Pass out from exhaustion.
*sleep*
7am: DO IT AGAIN! YAY!

Now, ask those career girls how their day went. :P

I couldn't have said it better...loved it! You can add.... trying to catch a naked 2 year old that escaped after using the potty while feeding the baby and making the daily telephone calls....lol!

Maggie - posted on 02/16/2009

I was reading at article today relaxing in the evenings and making time for "you"
and I was wondering
Does anyone here sit in front of their computer in the evening and have a glass of wine to relax?
and (to the stay at home mothers") have you ever found urself smiling in front of the tv watching dr phil and drinking coffee?

i remember years ago over listening to a conversation bout how stay at home parents sit in front of the tv all day and watch soapies and talk shows and drink coffee.

Maggie - posted on 02/16/2009

at the mo, i have been having people presure me to get a job. my son is turning 4.. so its not as though hes at school already. and its doing my head in.
I had decided for new years resolution i am to be myself and not let anyone change me to their standards..
i am feeling a bit of a pinch.
trying to keep the house work under control is hard. i see why people who work full time have a nice house.. theres no body there to mess it up!

Katherine - posted on 02/16/2009

to ppl like that * I meant not know lols sry got confused and I get snippy to the ones who tell me what to do with my childre b/c I'm young they assume I don't know anything I can't stand that gesture either.

Katherine - posted on 02/16/2009

I've gotten some of those comments too and after a while I have a bad habbit of being a smart alec lol so I don't think I'll tell you how to respond I'm not a good role model with that one lol I get annoyed very easily to ppl who think they know.

Tammy - posted on 02/16/2009

I get a lot of flack from my old co workers, they act like they are joking, but to me its hurtful. I used to be a work horse. I worked as a server up until 12 hours before I went into labor. I decided to stay home, because we could afford it. All my old friends are always saying stupid stuff. I even have friends who are moms who are working and working to pay for daycare, I dont want to work my butt off so I have to pay for day care when its cheaper to stay home. Taking care of a baby is twice as hard as serving was. Its like working 2 jobs. I feel ya, so I just shrug it off. They will never know until they have a child themselves...

Anne - posted on 02/16/2009

I have stayed home to raise 3 kids,  and  I tell you it irks Me when people act like I do nothing.  I rarely got a chance to sit around and take a break, let a lone do nothing. 

Maggie - posted on 02/16/2009

with.. you have my kids for a week.. and get back to me and tell me again. :)

Beth - posted on 02/16/2009

I really wouldn't worry about all the rude comments. I would highly suggest you surround yourself with other SAHM. Find a playgroup or meetup so you can meet together with other SAHM during the week. It's amazing what just a few hours a week with ladies who go through the same things as you will do for your sanity!!

Beth - posted on 02/16/2009

Quoting Kate:

Honestly? I tell people to piss off.

You're doing what's right for you and your family. If they can't respect that then they can keep on truckin'. I'm a SAHM, too and let me tell you-it ain't easy.

SAHM work the equivalent of TWO FULL TIME JOBS. Next time some one says you don't do anything all day you can tell them your schedule:

7am: Wake up. Take shower (if lucky), dress children for school. Make breakfast, feed family.
8am: Drive children to school
9am: Go to grocery store
9:30 Bank
10am: Eat breakfast
10:30 doctor's appointment
11 get oil changed in car
11:15 convince mechanic you're not an idiot
12:15 leave to pick up kids at pre-school
1pm: arrive late at preschool because of traffic. Didn't you enjoy that 45 minutes all to yourself in the car in traffic?
1:30 snack
2 nap time! YAY!
2:30 realize the children will not nap. Give up on getting ahead on your laundry.
3pm pick up kids from school
3:30 snack
4pm homework. No, you cannot watch cartoons first.
4:30 give up on dishes and sit down to help kids with homework
4:45 stop preschooler from writing on the wall
5pm start dinner
5:45 actually start dinner after sending children to various rooms for time outs due to fights and general mischief
6pm: cry.
6:30 WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR FATHER?!
7pm serve dinner. Pizza counts
7:30 brush teeth, baths. Pajamas
8pm: Story time. No, I will not read The Lorax again tonight. Pick a different book.
8:30 finally tuck children in. Turn out the lights, close door.
8:32 "Mommy, I want a glass of water"
9pm Children are quiet. Now you can start your chores!
10 pm second load of laundry is done. Third round coming up
11pm Dishes and laundry are finally done. Take a breath
11:30 take a shower (if you can keep your eyes open)
12am go to bed.
12:03 realize the dogs haven't been fed. Get up and feed dogs
12:30 go back to bed
1am: after a half hour of laying awake making mental to do lists you finally manage to dose off.
2am: Preschooler wakes up with a bad dream. This wakes up other children
3am after sufficient consoling and convincing that no, their are no dinosaurs in your closet, children are back in bed.
3:15 fall in bed. Pass out from exhaustion.
*sleep*
7am: DO IT AGAIN! YAY!

Now, ask those career girls how their day went. :P

Kate, I loved this!!!  It's amazing how the little things take up so much of the day!

Samantha - posted on 02/16/2009

i am a mum of 3 and also a stay @ home mum, we do the hardest job of all, but without the pay, without the days off, even when we r ill we have keep going without the choice, i would love t go out t work but @ this moment in time it is not visable financially or otherwise my kids r 8, 4 n 3 yrs old, im 26 and when they in school f/t i will wrk but only the hours they in school, whilst i have no grievences wi working mums in my eyes i brought my children in t the world, therefore it should be me to raise them and adapt my life around them, my sister is a working mum and does pretty well 4 herself, my niece is 5 and so well educated, the benefit of childcare,

so you see there is no right or wrong way of raising a family weather yr a stay @ home mum or a working mum, it is what suits each family,

and if anyone can pull a mother up for "sitting around all day, or its not like your doing anything " then they have no idea,

i have been up since 6 this morning with my lil devils and only got sat down 4 a bit of me time @10.30 this evening, thats more hrs than any job in a day, hold yr head high, as yr friends will become parents one day and realise

Laurie - posted on 02/16/2009

*our

Laurie - posted on 02/16/2009

stay at home mom is the hardest job in the world and if  we ever were to get paid out salary would average out  to be about 150,000 year!! and anyone who disagrees, see how fast they turn u down when u tell them " go ahead take my place for a day"!! lol

Leslie - posted on 02/16/2009

You just have to take it with a grain of salt. Until you have kids you dont realize how much work it is. Even then, I get similar comments from my working mom friends. One commented last week that she needed to hire me part time to keep up with her facebook page. Yes, because I have time for that!

They also make comments that we never could! I recently started a business with a friend (http://www.lazymoms.com). When I try to describe it to my working friends they don't view it as a real business. They just think it's a "fun little website" and say things like "it looks like you are having fun". Or they didn't bother to even read the welcome page on the site and then ask basic questions that are answered there.

They say, it's great that you have time to do that. And we are not supposed to take offense. However if we were to say to them, "too bad you couldn't go to your child's valentine party at school since you were at work." that would be considered offensive.

Just take the high road and smile in return. One day they will have children of their own and will realize how rude they were to you.

Cheryl - posted on 02/16/2009

Take no notice of people who make these comments because basically they havent got a clue. The only time they will is when they at home all the time with kids of there own. I have a two year old daughter and i have been at home from day one and it hasnt been easy mentally exhausting at times especially when they toddlers. I often think it would be easier to go to work. 

Maria - posted on 02/16/2009

Ask them if they want to stay with your child.  I too am at home with my baby, and I'm 26.  It's so funny how people have no idea what it takes to raise a child.  If your baby is anything like mine, then she is probably great for everyone but you, then it might be hard to let them see exactly what we go through.  No matter what people think, you have to believe that you are performing the most important job in the world, shaping the mind and spirit of our future.  If your friends don't understand now, one day they will....and they will let you know!  Stay strong for both you and your baby!

Katie - posted on 02/16/2009

I usually just laugh at people who say I sit on my butt all day. Then I ask them if they'd like to babysit for me for a weekend and see if they'll make that comment to me again. Especially now that my daughter is crawling. I look forward to when it's time to feed her because that is usually the only time I really get to sit down for a few minutes.

Jenna - posted on 02/16/2009

I usually just grin and bear it and ignore it.  They really don't know what they're talking about.  Sometimes I just laugh.  I have 4 kids under the age of 6, I don't get to do much "sitting around".

Lisa - posted on 02/16/2009

I always respond by laughing then asking if they would like to come over for a day and share my experience! It's usually brings up the questions and I answer honestly. Diapers, breakfast, change their clothes, brush teeth, go outside and play, lunch, naps, clean the house while their napping, change diapers, play play play. Then my "friends" sympathize and those who continue to think it's just a big play date for me is probably not a true friend. Some people won't understand until they become parents themselves. Life is all about experiences right!!!!!

Liana - posted on 02/16/2009

I just laugh at them and tell them they really have no idea.  Just ask them what other job there is where you have to be a dr a nurse a cleaner a cook a teacher an artist a scientist a toy technichian a computer expert the list goes on it really shuts them up especially if you follow it up with I'd love to do your job just for a break occaisionally it really pisses them off :)

Kate CP - posted on 02/15/2009

Quoting Carolyn:

Quoting Kate:

Honestly? I tell people to piss off.

You're doing what's right for you and your family. If they can't respect that then they can keep on truckin'. I'm a SAHM, too and let me tell you-it ain't easy.

SAHM work the equivalent of TWO FULL TIME JOBS. Next time some one says you don't do anything all day you can tell them your schedule:

7am: Wake up. Take shower (if lucky), dress children for school. Make breakfast, feed family.
8am: Drive children to school
9am: Go to grocery store
9:30 Bank
10am: Eat breakfast
10:30 doctor's appointment
11 get oil changed in car
11:15 convince mechanic you're not an idiot
12:15 leave to pick up kids at pre-school
1pm: arrive late at preschool because of traffic. Didn't you enjoy that 45 minutes all to yourself in the car in traffic?
1:30 snack
2 nap time! YAY!
2:30 realize the children will not nap. Give up on getting ahead on your laundry.
3pm pick up kids from school
3:30 snack
4pm homework. No, you cannot watch cartoons first.
4:30 give up on dishes and sit down to help kids with homework
4:45 stop preschooler from writing on the wall
5pm start dinner
5:45 actually start dinner after sending children to various rooms for time outs due to fights and general mischief
6pm: cry.
6:30 WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR FATHER?!
7pm serve dinner. Pizza counts
7:30 brush teeth, baths. Pajamas
8pm: Story time. No, I will not read The Lorax again tonight. Pick a different book.
8:30 finally tuck children in. Turn out the lights, close door.
8:32 "Mommy, I want a glass of water"
9pm Children are quiet. Now you can start your chores!
10 pm second load of laundry is done. Third round coming up
11pm Dishes and laundry are finally done. Take a breath
11:30 take a shower (if you can keep your eyes open)
12am go to bed.
12:03 realize the dogs haven't been fed. Get up and feed dogs
12:30 go back to bed
1am: after a half hour of laying awake making mental to do lists you finally manage to dose off.
2am: Preschooler wakes up with a bad dream. This wakes up other children
3am after sufficient consoling and convincing that no, their are no dinosaurs in your closet, children are back in bed.
3:15 fall in bed. Pass out from exhaustion.
*sleep*
7am: DO IT AGAIN! YAY!

Now, ask those career girls how their day went. :P

Thanks Sweetie. That pretty much sums it up. I couldn't stop laughing... are you sure you're not peeking in my windows?

*checks schedule* nope, didn't have time. ;D

Jeny McKinsey- - posted on 02/15/2009

You really don't want to hear what I have to say about those comments!!! LOL One day they will know that you are one of the lucky ones!!!

Annie - posted on 02/15/2009

Quoting Kathryn:

I just laugh and say, yeah it's pretty fun. But secretly I am thinking about how when my kids are grown they will just be having kids. They will be working their butts of at home and I will be doing nothing all day! And I'm not babysiting for them!

ha! cheers to that!  :)

Annie - posted on 02/15/2009

i can't stand how people think sahm's are somehow missing out on the "real" world... our job is THE most important job out there... why in the world would i have kids and then send them to someone else 80% of the time??? i feel soooo lucky and blessed to be able to stay at home, and i truly feel sorry for those who can't, or for those who don't just bc they think having a career is more important. honestly, women are the loving, nurturing mothers for a reason! that's what we are programed for... loving our kids!!! one of my friends who works and has one kid said something to me once about, she just didn't know what she would do with all that free time, if she were able to stay home, she would just be bored to death!! i secretly wanted to strangle her, but i just said something like, it's definately not boring! and i was saying how i didn't have a lot of time to keep my house mopped ( i have 3 kids) and she put off the attitude like, what else do you do with all that spare time! oh man that was annoying! but, i'm just glad i have the blessing to know what a wonderful job i have, and know i would never want anything else. seriously, if you offered me my dream job that paid tons, had nannies, cleaners, cooks, etc... i would not take it, bc i value sooo much that i get to watch my kids grow up. that's what we were put on earth to do. :)

Carolyn - posted on 02/15/2009

Quoting Kate:

Honestly? I tell people to piss off.

You're doing what's right for you and your family. If they can't respect that then they can keep on truckin'. I'm a SAHM, too and let me tell you-it ain't easy.

SAHM work the equivalent of TWO FULL TIME JOBS. Next time some one says you don't do anything all day you can tell them your schedule:

7am: Wake up. Take shower (if lucky), dress children for school. Make breakfast, feed family.
8am: Drive children to school
9am: Go to grocery store
9:30 Bank
10am: Eat breakfast
10:30 doctor's appointment
11 get oil changed in car
11:15 convince mechanic you're not an idiot
12:15 leave to pick up kids at pre-school
1pm: arrive late at preschool because of traffic. Didn't you enjoy that 45 minutes all to yourself in the car in traffic?
1:30 snack
2 nap time! YAY!
2:30 realize the children will not nap. Give up on getting ahead on your laundry.
3pm pick up kids from school
3:30 snack
4pm homework. No, you cannot watch cartoons first.
4:30 give up on dishes and sit down to help kids with homework
4:45 stop preschooler from writing on the wall
5pm start dinner
5:45 actually start dinner after sending children to various rooms for time outs due to fights and general mischief
6pm: cry.
6:30 WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR FATHER?!
7pm serve dinner. Pizza counts
7:30 brush teeth, baths. Pajamas
8pm: Story time. No, I will not read The Lorax again tonight. Pick a different book.
8:30 finally tuck children in. Turn out the lights, close door.
8:32 "Mommy, I want a glass of water"
9pm Children are quiet. Now you can start your chores!
10 pm second load of laundry is done. Third round coming up
11pm Dishes and laundry are finally done. Take a breath
11:30 take a shower (if you can keep your eyes open)
12am go to bed.
12:03 realize the dogs haven't been fed. Get up and feed dogs
12:30 go back to bed
1am: after a half hour of laying awake making mental to do lists you finally manage to dose off.
2am: Preschooler wakes up with a bad dream. This wakes up other children
3am after sufficient consoling and convincing that no, their are no dinosaurs in your closet, children are back in bed.
3:15 fall in bed. Pass out from exhaustion.
*sleep*
7am: DO IT AGAIN! YAY!

Now, ask those career girls how their day went. :P

Thanks Sweetie. That pretty much sums it up. I couldn't stop laughing... are you sure you're not peeking in my windows?

Emily - posted on 02/15/2009

I hear ya' my own family has said things like this to me! One of my uncle's asked me "so, what are you going to do while Lenny works all day?" I wanted to smack him. He has 5 kids of his own, he should know at least a little bit of what goes on during the day. I just ignore the comments now. If they can't see that I'm raising a polite, responsible little girl than they just go to heck.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/15/2009

i don't know why they think that we sit around the house i wish i had the time, i'm a mother of 5, 4 are in school and my new baby at home with me, thats when i'm at home.I'm busy cleaning house getting groceries and cooking and also on the P A at school and school leadership member. All this and taking care of a new 3 mth old, but we sit at home, yeah right.

A'Myah - posted on 02/15/2009

hello ladies..i am a newbie to the group but just wanted to jump in on this one...i am a sahm of 5 kids ages 9 yrs -20 mths....when anyone tells me that i do nothing all day i ask them if they would like to trade for a day and also i tell them about the news special they did on CNN that actually broke down what a sahm mom of 2 kids would get paid if they were "working" in the business world...ummm lets say it was almost 200k a year!! so dont let it bother you...and remember you are doing what is best for your kids...i bet most people would love to be able to stay at home w/ their kids!

Tricia - posted on 02/15/2009

I feel that same way as the rest of you. I tell all my friends that it's not as fun as people make it out to be! Most of my friends have kids that are all grown up or are teenagers and they totally agree with me and tell me that they NEVER could have been a SAHM as they woulda went crazy!  Somedays the monontinous (sp?) of doing the same thing day after day after day after starts to get to me but I do enjoy being a SAHM! I keep trying to convince my hubby that I never get a day off but until he does it one day he won't realize it. Hubby is otr truck driver so when he's home sometimes it's like adding another kid in the mix and adding more chores to my day! Yippee!! More chores just what I like to add to my list of stuff that never gets done!

Kate, I gotta say I love how you put your schedule!!! Gave me a good laugh!!

Cat - posted on 02/15/2009

ha. my working mum friends are constantly impressed at the behaviour of my 2 year old, and that he gets to bed on time, and that he's generally just a good kid. cant they see its because im at home all day with him and he's calmer because of it.

yay for stay at home mums. i wish there were more of us!

Kathryn - posted on 02/15/2009

I just laugh and say, yeah it's pretty fun. But secretly I am thinking about how when my kids are grown they will just be having kids. They will be working their butts of at home and I will be doing nothing all day! And I'm not babysiting for them!

Jacqui - posted on 02/15/2009

I wouldn't let them bother you.  You know exactly what you do all day.  The most difficult job in the world is being a mom.  It's a 24hr a day job, 365 days a year.  You get no sick days, no paid vacation, no time to yourself on a break to get a way from it all.  Heck, your work will probably follow you right into the bathroom every time you have to go.  There is also no job that is as rewarding as this job.  When was the last time their bosses gave them a hug and said thank you and meant it.  Do you think their bosses ever said I love you, just because.  Someday, they will find out what it really is that you do.  Someday, when they are on a day off, invite them over, and let them see you in action, believe me, they will be happy to get back to their 9-5 job, and will never say you sit around and do nothing.  Remember, you made a choice to stay home and raise your children because you wanted to be the one to raise them, not pay someone else to do it.  I know there are people who don't have a choice but to put their children in childcare, and I am not saying their is anything wrong with it.  However, if you have a choice, then this is the greatest choice you can make.  Don't let others bother you, be proud of what you are doing.

Kate CP - posted on 02/14/2009

Honestly? I tell people to piss off.

You're doing what's right for you and your family. If they can't respect that then they can keep on truckin'. I'm a SAHM, too and let me tell you-it ain't easy.

SAHM work the equivalent of TWO FULL TIME JOBS. Next time some one says you don't do anything all day you can tell them your schedule:

7am: Wake up. Take shower (if lucky), dress children for school. Make breakfast, feed family.
8am: Drive children to school
9am: Go to grocery store
9:30 Bank
10am: Eat breakfast
10:30 doctor's appointment
11 get oil changed in car
11:15 convince mechanic you're not an idiot
12:15 leave to pick up kids at pre-school
1pm: arrive late at preschool because of traffic. Didn't you enjoy that 45 minutes all to yourself in the car in traffic?
1:30 snack
2 nap time! YAY!
2:30 realize the children will not nap. Give up on getting ahead on your laundry.
3pm pick up kids from school
3:30 snack
4pm homework. No, you cannot watch cartoons first.
4:30 give up on dishes and sit down to help kids with homework
4:45 stop preschooler from writing on the wall
5pm start dinner
5:45 actually start dinner after sending children to various rooms for time outs due to fights and general mischief
6pm: cry.
6:30 WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR FATHER?!
7pm serve dinner. Pizza counts
7:30 brush teeth, baths. Pajamas
8pm: Story time. No, I will not read The Lorax again tonight. Pick a different book.
8:30 finally tuck children in. Turn out the lights, close door.
8:32 "Mommy, I want a glass of water"
9pm Children are quiet. Now you can start your chores!
10 pm second load of laundry is done. Third round coming up
11pm Dishes and laundry are finally done. Take a breath
11:30 take a shower (if you can keep your eyes open)
12am go to bed.
12:03 realize the dogs haven't been fed. Get up and feed dogs
12:30 go back to bed
1am: after a half hour of laying awake making mental to do lists you finally manage to dose off.
2am: Preschooler wakes up with a bad dream. This wakes up other children
3am after sufficient consoling and convincing that no, their are no dinosaurs in your closet, children are back in bed.
3:15 fall in bed. Pass out from exhaustion.
*sleep*
7am: DO IT AGAIN! YAY!

Now, ask those career girls how their day went. :P

Brandie - posted on 02/14/2009

Well... I have successfully made it work for 12 years now... after 4 kids! I am currently looking for my first full-time job in 12 years!

I have a few thoughts: I tell poeple... "I didn't have my kids so someone else could raise them" I think we rely on childcare so much in our country... but do caregivers have the same morals & values as I want for my kids?

My other thought... I say " I have 4 kids, which equals 4 FULL-TIME JOBS!" The money I have saved on childcare is phenominal & my kids are so gratefull that I have always been able to be there.

It has been a  struggle for financial and emotional reasons from time to time... but I WOULDN'T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD.

Don't be ashamed... feel privileged instead!

Rachel - posted on 02/14/2009

I just laugh when people say that I do nothing all day. Seriously, I don't even get a chance to sit down until after I do the dinner dishes, then not too long after that is bath time, then getting the kids ready for bed.....you all know the routine. lol. Yup, we just sit around and do absolutely nothing all day!

Crystal - posted on 02/14/2009

I would ask them exactly what do they think your child does all day so that you can do "nothing".

But I'm rude like that.

Monica - posted on 02/14/2009

It's a common misconception that we have nothing to do all day and all the time in the world. Ha! We have a harder job than they do! Especially when your children are infants or toddlers. They should try walking a mile in our shoes sometime!