Sahms .. Do you have any help or you do it all by yourself??

Lisa - posted on 05/01/2011

I don't have any help. In the winter if hubby is traveling out of town for work, MIL does come out and watch the kids for an hour in the morning and an hour at night so I can go out to the barn and do chores.

Kylie - posted on 04/20/2011

Wow, you are a very lucky woman. I have a three year old son and a 4 month old daughter, my husband deployed to Iraq 6 months ago and I don't have a strong family support system so I'm pretty much on my own. My son "helps" me out the best he can, like getting diapers and wipes or completely destroying his room, lol. Make sure you appreciate what you, many arent as fortunate.

√v^√v^√♥ - posted on 04/18/2011

HAHAHAHA wow you are SO lucky. I have muscle spasms and am 4 months pregnant, taking care of my 6 month old son....... all by myself. Even though I cannot lift him without cramping, I hurt so bad I can barely do any house work... its aweful. And my friend went through the same thing during her entire pregnancy and did it ALL alone. Yep, us poorer SAHM eat it up and move on :) Also when my second one comes I'm going to have to move back in with my parents while my boyfriend works, in order to get enough help just to survive. Enjoy your life, you'll soon have #2, heal and you have way more help than most people have it seems :) Good luck, hope it all goes well!

Pamela - posted on 04/18/2011

Let me just say this: IT GETS EASIER! Mine are 20 mo. apart and in the beginning it's a lot. Meal times are the worst. Then you fall into a schedule (around 3 or 4 mo) and things get better. Right now it's survival mode- buy some baby einstein movies or toddler tv shows to help when you're caring for the baby and cannot attend to your toddler (bath time etc), and try go easy on yourself. Whenever things get crazy just think, this too shall pass. I swear it gets easier. My husband travels a lot so sometimes for weeks at a time I'd have no help. It was hard, but it wasn't the end of the world.

Sarah - posted on 04/04/2011

i do everything myself with two kids and i even get my hubby things like water milk sandwich and cookies what ever he needs. i bearly get a break they are 3 and 18 months. i was in the same situaction that you are in but we were moving too and i was in and out of my parents house becuase my doctors was by there house and we lives about 1.5 hours away from them. Best answer is rest when ur baby takes a nap or make him lay down and you lay down. thats what i had to do wiht my oldest girl.
sarah

Amanda - posted on 04/02/2011

I never need any help when I was pregnant with my son. I was a single mom and I handled it just fine. When I got pregnant with my daughter I was married to a man that had two children from a previous relationship, plus my son! I handled it just fine again. I think it depends on the pregnancy. I had really easy pregnancy's and I never needed any help!! I think you should appreciate all the help you get!! I hope all went well on your delivery!!

Amanda - posted on 04/02/2011

I never need any help when I was pregnant with my son. I was a single mom and I handled it just fine. When I got pregnant with my daughter I was married to a man that had two children from a previous relationship, plus my son! I handled it just fine again. I think it depends on the pregnancy. I had really easy pregnancy's and I never needed any help!! I think you should appreciate all the help you get!! I hope all went well on your delivery!!

Tifani - posted on 03/24/2011

I am a mother of 3 and I am a sahm, I do everything from getting my 9 yr old to school on time, to caring for my 2 and 4 yr old throughout the day. Clenaing the house and attempting to keep it that way so that my husband can come home to it clean. Cooking meals for the children all day and then of course dinner for my husband and I or family meal depending on what I am making. And yes I do it all alone. And I did it alone when I was pregnant with all of them, and was a working mom when pregnant with my first. Also I have been a Navy Wife since getting pregnant with my last 2 children and had to literally do everything by myself while pregnant with my third baby because my husband was deployed until I was 9 months pregnant... I even packed my entire house at 7 months pregnant in order to have us moved to a larger house before he came home for deployment for 6 months. I have to say though that you are a lucky lady to be getting the help you do. Some days I would literally like to pull my hair out...

Katrina - posted on 03/21/2011

I get no help and I am now pregnant with my third. My husband is military and seems to think that I should do everything around the house. I do wish that he helped me out more but I know that he grew up this way which makes it hard for him to understand how I feel. You do get a lot of help and I would say that you are lucky with how much help you do get. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy and the new baby.

Krystin - posted on 03/21/2011

I have two children, they are just under 2 yrs apart, so I was once in your same postion. Your tired, heavy, swollen, your toddler is crazy and its really exhausting. Its hard but its doable. Ive done it by myself, with the exception of my husband, whose in the military so leaves anywhere from 2 wks to 7 months at a time. I think if you want to do it on your own, you can and should. Most SAHM do not have the help you do, but that doesnt mean we wouldnt like it. Take as much help as you can now, because you never know when you may not have it anymore.

Laural - posted on 03/20/2011

Wow. You have it made! I did it all myself and I had preemie twins that were very fragile for their first year at home.

Nicole - posted on 03/20/2011

I Don't have any help. My Husband is a truck driver and only home 2-3 days a week. I do everything, matian the house balance the budget raise our 3yr old son and care for my aging mother in law. When my husband is home he will help a little but its the stuff I can't do such as change the brakes in my car. We would rather have the time together to enjoy as a family and with friends. I think very few sahm have the kind of help you do. I wouldn't know what to do with all of that.

Theresa - posted on 03/19/2011

i do it by
my self

Stifler's - posted on 03/19/2011

Are you serious Kim I would kick his and her ass.

Kim - posted on 03/19/2011

wow you are lucky. I get NO help. I have a 3 yr old and a 4 yr old and I have no help from family or friends. It has been that way from the beginning. I was 8 months preg while on hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor while my husband and stepdaughter watched tv in other room. When my husband comes home from work he sits in front of tv while I carry on with my 24 hr job. He works hard and pays the bills. So I would quit complaining.

Rachel - posted on 03/18/2011

Hi =) my son is almost 3, I am due the end of April. I pretty well do it all. My hubby is great help, sometimes I have to ask sometimes not. My family works, inlaws are 3 tenths of a mile down the road. I want to do it all, lol i am anal. All i ever wanted was to be a momma so i feel its my and hubbys responsibility. My son goes to inlaws for 2-3hrs once a week, thats the most i am usually away from him. But, he is a wonderful kid and helps me out ( best he can) he likes to do stuff with me. I have been cooking up a storm freezing stuff for when the baby comes. I'm sure that will help =)
You got it good though, just havin someone cook is AMAZING!! =)

Dannii - posted on 03/18/2011

EXACTLY Emma!! I thought the same thing myself. And also with all that outside help,in-laws,hired help AND hubby what does she actually do for herself??????

Stifler's - posted on 03/17/2011

I'm curious but what do they actually DO for 15 hours a week?!

Julie - posted on 03/17/2011

Rather than hire - learn to let things go... as it will only increase.
How fortunate you are to have in-laws who enjoy helping. I was far from any family and did it alone ... even when my 5th came along -

Tracey - posted on 03/17/2011

i to am a sahm with a 21 month old son and #2 due in 6 weeks... Everyone copes differently and learns to cope with what help they have. My parents and inlaws are 7 and 3 hours away, so help from them is rare, when they come to visit it's more for a holiday (for them!) than to help me, we moved just before our son was born, I have slowly built up a friendship group in our new town, but it has taken time - I don't ask for a lot of help from friends but find the social aspect of friends with kids helpful. I think I have made lots of compromises with house work - what doesn't get done, just doesn't get done. My husband baths our son at night, but that is about all the help I get fom him... It all sounds like a bit of a sob story really - I am very aware of the fact that I chose to be a sahm, so can't afford to have hired help - and that's fine! Don't feel bad about the amount of help you need/have, each situation is different as each pregnancy is different - luckily mine has been a breeze, and each toddler is different. Enjoy being a mum of one for the next few weeks, because its just going to get harder!

Connie - posted on 03/17/2011

My husband is also a great Dad and husband and helps out as soon as he gets home. Granted he gets his free time before he gets home - he goes to the gym almost everyday and so he doesn't even get home until after the kids have eaten dinner. but he always steps up. WE ARE SO LUCKY!!! Congrats on the new baby and I hope they continue to help you out so much. DO NOT feel guilty about the help. It's the way things used to be and the way I wish they still were. Family takes care of family. :)

Michele - posted on 03/17/2011

Hi, its been 14 years plus when I had my son. I did most of it on my own but if I needed sleep my Mother in law was always available to help...either at her place or mine...she would take care of our son and let me sleep as long as I needed...then she would give us dinner... she was wonderful...but most I did on my own. I also babysat in my home during the week most times

Julie - posted on 03/17/2011

i'm a sahm to my 3 & 1 yrold. My husbands job requires about 70 hrs. A week plus commuting so anytime he gets with the kids is usually playtime. When he has time off then he will help with the chores. We have no family in the area and couldn't afford help even if I needed it. (and sometimes I sure could =) so I do everything from start to finish outside of going to a job. It's not easy and if you have help available to you I don't see why you shouldn't take advantage of it especially if it's gonna help keep everybody especially you as sane as possible. Hopefully you will feel more up to everything in a couple months when baby is here and settled in and you are more of yourself again. I believe most sahm don't have much help at all but there is nothing wrong with having someone help with the cleaning and cooking so you get more peaceful play time with your little ones!

Danielle - posted on 03/17/2011

Get tougher skin girl! I understand most people have some family around to help out here and there, but honestly being a military family that is NOT the norm. I've always done it all, whether being a working mom or SAHM. I currently have 3 out of our 4 kids at home all day. 4, 2, and 11mos. old. I do everything all day and get some relief from my hubby in the evenings, even if it's only 2hrs. a night. I've known more SAHM's feeling like single parents vs. actual single parents! A lot of them get entire weekends off, aren't home all day, since they do need to work(yes, part of me would rather be back to work, much easier!) and spend maybe 4 hrs. a night w/ their child on the weekdays. Their life isn't super easy either, than again, they get a breather usually to get back on the horse. I'm very thankful I can stay home w/ our youngest kids right now, as hard as it is. I could probably afford a housekeeper twice a month and a steady sitter etc...I choose not to because I feel it's my job and take pride in that. They'll be off to school before I know it, so that keeps me going and enjoying these times while they last. They grow up so fast. Take care

Anne - posted on 03/17/2011

I don't get any outside help. My son is 15 months old, and into everything. My husband helps out with the house a bit, but really, he is out working all day, and is a PhD student as well. Usually we take turns doing the dishes and getting the kitchen cleaned up after dinner while the other plays with our son. My husband also cleans the bathrooms on the weekends. I think you're very lucky to get the help that you have. :)

Anastasia - posted on 03/17/2011

I did it by myself and worse I had a husband (my ex now) who wouldn't help or give me money or take me to my doctors. So I had to walk with my 2 yr old to my docs. You are very lucky. It never ends so just relax and enjoy the help you are getting.

Mindee - posted on 03/17/2011

I do it all by myself, and it's never done. lol I wish I had help! good for you! =)

Lisa Jo - posted on 03/17/2011

Wow! I remember being 38 weeks pregnant and too was exhausted. I have no help here at all. My husband leaves between 8 - 9 in the morning and gets home from 9-9 in the evenings. My 6 month old daughter and I are all alone, and my family is 2 hours away. We do have cleaning ladies come every other Friday to clean the house really good, including the floors. I would love for them to come once a week, but trying to save some money.

Debbie - posted on 03/17/2011

I have 4 kids- 12, 10, 4 and 2 1/2 and have no help. If I have a school function, my mom or sister will come by in a pinch but I do it all. My husband sometimes doesn't get home till 9/930. I completely understand feeling exhausted but you're very fortunate because I worked during all my pregnancies. However, that being said, my husband has offered a cleaning woman once a week, getting a mothers helper during summertime but I'm not comfortable with it. Try to remember that they're just little people and that the best thing to TRY to do is to keep things in perspective. I wouldn't complain about things to others though because they will think you're over the top.

Suzanne - posted on 03/16/2011

Is your husband only helping because you are pregnant or does he usually help out when he gets home? I think that being 38 weeks pregnant and having a toddler is going to make you feel overwhelmed just getting out of bed :) I think that if other SAHMs had the means and opportunity to get a cleaner in to help around the house they would. And you're right some people that dont have kids dont really understand how much of your day is devoted to them :) I try to clean up after my 16 month old daughter and it seems like she follows me around and pulls out whatever i put away :) Dont worry about what anyone else thinks... Do what is right and easiest for you. If you need help or if anyone is willing to help you then i say take them up on it. You need to be relaxing anyway to focus on getting that baby out :) Good luck with everything :)

Petra - posted on 03/16/2011

Eve, I don't think you should be feeling guilty by what all the other moms are saying. I definately think you have a good plan going to save your own sanity. I have 2 children (10 & 11) and this is the first year that both are in school (I did home school my son). I still have a house keeper 2x a week, lawn care and snow removal (seasonally). I have no family in this country. Last spring I hired (hourly) a professional organizer to help me in my craft space. You may also like to do the same. I say congratulations for knowing what you need. We are all different but most women won't admit that they need extra help or are too shy to accept it.

Maddison - posted on 03/16/2011

I have no help at all. My husband works out of town monday to friday and comes home on weekends and even then he doesn't spend much time with our daughter as she generally wants to be with me. I am due in June and my girls will be 19 months apart. So I understand how exhausting it is!

Jodie - posted on 03/16/2011

I am 31 weeks prego with my third with my oldest almost 5 and youngest just turned 2. And nope, I have no help. I take my oldest to and from preschool three days a week, grocery shop, cook, do laundry, everything by myself. My husband also helps when he gets home, but also understands if some dishes don't get washed right away. Not that I don't want help, I just can't seem to totally justify the added expense of hiring someone right now. Between my hubby and I, what needs to get done gets done.

Jasmine - posted on 03/16/2011

I am pretty much doing it by myself i have a 9 month old son and i with him pretty much all day my husband works about 60 hours a week and around 12 hour shift and i dont have much help from family and friends, i think it would be nice to be able to get some kind of help and a lil bit more adult conversations

Dannii - posted on 03/16/2011

Is the person who asked this question actually SERIOUS!!!??? Or are you just trying to get a bite out of people?? If you are serious then I feel VERY sorry for your husband if you think he is not doing enough to help you! Most mums I know would give up a limb to have even ONE of the things you have listed here!!! When you had children you CHOSE to do the job that you are doing! He doesn't ask you to help him do his job yet he pays some1 else to help you do the job YOU are supposed to be doing??!!

Oana - posted on 03/16/2011

Never worry and don't let other people judge you!!When I had my girl I had my mum scome and stay with us for a while and hubby helped as baby was with reflux.Still, I felt totally exhausted only to find out after 7 months and a lot of criticism and emotional pain that I had hypothyroid that had left me completely drained..Babies are hard work and if you can get help, why not? Hope all goes well with your new baby.

Tiffany - posted on 03/16/2011

I do it all by myself and have since my twins were born. My husband helped me ALOT when they were babies, now we're kind of in a he-works-outside-the-home and I-work-inside-the-home routine, which works for us. My twins are now 7 yrs old, I'm a SAHM that homeschools and to me, homeschooling is a job in itself. I keep saying I need to get a housekeeper a few times a month just to help me stay on top of things, but I just haven't done it yet.

Theresa - posted on 03/16/2011

i do it by myself to i have 16yrs-13-10-4 it is not easy at all and im letting my 16teen go live with grandma because i cant do it anymore ok

Jennifer - posted on 03/15/2011

Well, I had two kids back to back 54 weeks apart. I am a full time student and full time SAHM. I also take care of my disabled veteran husband, which in itself is a full time job. I do it by myself, accept for my family that comes and babysits when I am in school. The rest of the time, I see it as my job and I just do it. Sometimes I turn into a "robot" and just do it. I do all my husbands medical, and most of the housework. I had my first son and while I was pregnant with my second son, I took care of it all. I have illnesses that I deal with, but that's me. It's not for everyone, and no one person is alike. I have learned my short cuts and quicker more efficient ways to do things. If you would like, I can stay in contact with you and give you advice based off what worked for me. That way you can use the advice or cater it to what you need. But, you are doing well...being as far as you are you are going to be tired. Just keep doing the best that you can. Things are not going to get that much easier when you have your baby, but at least you have some help. Don't give it and take the help when it is there. You will adjust and get to be a "pro".

Megan - posted on 03/15/2011

I am 30wks pregnant and have a 2yr old. I have a mother-in-law who watched her from 6pm-8pm so my husband and i can lead a bible study one night a week. And my husband helps out cooking dinner a lot (he loves to cook!) and will do other chores, but for the most part i take care of things by myself during the day, but weekends are more fairly split as far as kid and house work.

Susy - posted on 03/15/2011

I do all the house shores myself. I have an 8 month old baby girl. I try to clean the house when she is asleep and I also do my online schooling when ever I finish clean the house. When my husband gets home everything is done so he helps me with the baby.

Toni - posted on 03/15/2011

I do it 24/7 and have from day 1. I have a 7 year old, a 5 year old, and a 1 year old. All boys!! After #2 and #3 were born, my mil would come in a few times in the first week with meals to help out, but other than that, it's all me. I ask ,my husband to get up in the mornings on his day off, but he doesn't, unless he has something to do, then I have to be up anyway, to keep the kiddos. That is all fine with me though. I am the one they come to when they need a hug, or if they are hurt, and when the baby is tired, daddy wants to put him to sleep, but he doesn't know the routine, so guess who wants mommy! I think you are very lucky to have the help you have. :) Enjoy it!

Stacey - posted on 03/15/2011

I have 2 sons, ages 5 & 4. I have been a sahm for 4 1/2 yrs. It's not always easy, but with the exception of giving birth, I have never had help. With the hours my husband works, he never helps when he gets home after 9pm every night ( I don't expect him to& am fine with it). To each his own, but wow! You have a lot of help!

Michele - posted on 03/15/2011

I am a stay at home mom but I do work at our business just get get month end sorted out and if my husband needs help. I have 3 kids aged between 3months and 5 years. I do everything from cleaning the house, doing the garden, looking after the kids, feeding them, cooking, doing homework. When I was still pregnant, we were moving house and so I painted the house, cleaned the carpets and packed up the house and the only person that helped me was my mother. And when my daughter was 2 weeks old we moved house and unpacked with just the help of my mother. My husband it useless and will not help with anything. I would love some extra help but he wont get me help and the only help I have is my mom. She is my angel.

Julie - posted on 03/15/2011

You have a LOT of help. I'm a SAHM to a 7 year old, 2year old twins, and a 6 week old baby. My husband is at work from 7 am to 10 or 11pm Monday through Friday. The only help I get is from my mother who helps take the oldest to most of his 4-5 day a week baseball practices so I don't have to drag the younger 3 to the baseball park for 2 hours every night!! You should be grateful for the help you have!!

Yaremie - posted on 03/15/2011

Being pregnant and with a toddler is rough and I understand where you are coming from. I am 26 weeks pregnant and have a 16 month old daughter but I "tough it out" and do everything on my own. Mon-Fri my hubby leaves to work at 8am (before baby wakes up), goes to school after work and gets home after 9pm (after baby is in bed for the night). Even on the weekends when he isn't working or going to school, I do everything on my own. Laundry, dinner, cleaning, taking care of the baby, cleaning up after him, etc. It gets hard, but what else can I do. If I were in your position, I'd be grateful for the help that you are receiving because there are lots of people who unfortunately don't have and/or can't have the that you have. My in-laws are 15-20 minutes away, along with his sisters who have no children, a few aunts and uncles whose kids are all grown and moved out and several cousins who don't have children. None of them offer to help and probably don't give a damn (even though I have a high risk complication and am supposed to be on pelvic rest). Also try to be positive, look at the light at the end of the tunnel, you are almost done with your pregnancy and once you have this baby, it will get better for you.

Sara - posted on 03/15/2011

I would do anything for just one of those things. I have a 15 month old and our baby boy due in 8 weeks and I'm doing absolutely everything myself. My husband has 2 days where he's not home until at least 10pm or midnight and the other days he helps a little and puts her to bed when he can. I still cook and clean all those nights. If I were you I would feel extremely blessed!!

Freedom - posted on 03/15/2011

I'm a stay at home mom of 4 kids. No help here. It's all me & my husband. We don't have any family that lives by to come & help. I didn't have any help while pregnant either. We did have a few days of help right after I got home from the hospital after having a c-section, but after that it was all me. Enjoy the help! What a treat. Take care.

Mary - posted on 03/15/2011

I do most things on my own. I have a 2 year old and 3 month old and work out of my home part time. My husband works full time and goes to school part time. He helps some when he can - meaning he might play with the kids some, occassionally helps with supper if we are in a hurry to get somewhere, and if people are coming over, he will sometimes help pick up stuff. He is gone the entire day on tuesdays, so we are for sure on our own those days. I do have a couple of people who can watch the girls if I need them too, but this doesn't happen much. My house is defintely not picture perfect - but it is standing, the people in it are fed, clean and dressed (usually - it's hard to keep clothes on a 2yo)!

If you have a helper 15 hours a week, you really shouldn't have to be doing any cleaning other than maybe a pick up in the evening or a few dishes. What areas do you think you still need help with?

Becki - posted on 03/15/2011

I am hoping that you are kidding about needing more help. I am a SAHM to 2 wonderful kids. (3 & 2) My husband works (mostly) at home but for 65 + hours a week. He may be home but is working & not able to help with the kids, meals, etc...Both my parents & in-laws live approx. 1/2 hour away. They help occasionally, but it is up to me to take care of the house/kids. etc. I have to wait until the kids are in bed at night to take a shower.
Be thankful for ALL the help you have. It seems like you have a lot of it. What I would give for someone to come in 3 days a week for 5 hours a day! I say roll up your sleeves (after the baby is born). ;)