Second time mother... to have a baby shower or not?

Tamika - posted on 01/31/2010 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I'm a mum of 1 (6 months) and preggers (20 weeks) with the second.

I've been asked if I am going to have a baby shower for this little one and my answer as always yes without even hesitating figure it's another baby and i'm celebrating bubs coming into my life.

and then i got thinking... do I have another baby shower or not??

I've been reading forums where people think it's rude to throw a shower yourself (I have no one else to rely on) and others thinking it's just rude to ask for more presents.

BUT..... I don't see things that way... I'm not asking for presents (although always welcomed :) ) I like the chance to celebrate with my friends and family about my impending birth.

I'm curious as to what others think if you say yes or no.. and if your for another shower can you post ideas on the types of things you've been to, held or would do for yourself.

Thanks heaps

Honesty is always appreciated :)

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Victoria - posted on 02/02/2010

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When I was pregnant with my second, we had what we called a "Big Sister Celebration". It was just like a baby shower, only it wasn't about the mommy and daddy to be. It was about the big sister (or brother). We had a bunch of little kids and they did the games. We had a cake and she opened the presents. Alot of people thought we shouldn't do it and that it was rude. But we didn't do it just for us. We wanted our daughter to be as much a part of the pregnancy as possible so she wouldn't feel left out. This was just one of the ways we did that. It might be a little different with your situation, though. Our daughter was 2 and understood what was going on. It's completely up to you. Wanting to celebrate doesn't mean go all-out but have fun with it. Hope this helps you.

[deleted account]

How about a "meet the baby" opposed to a baby shower? It's definitely not rude to invite people to come and meet your little bundle! Don't mention anything about gifts. I always bring a little something even if it's not expected.

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Tamika - posted on 02/06/2010

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Thank you everyone, for your opinions and helpful suggestions... as It turns out i'm having a little girl :) so i'll be throwing a little baby shower for her, I live all the hype and the party... for my first one I had games and everyone that came I gave them a gift to say thank you. I also want pictures for her scrapbook and someone said that when they look back she will not feel any less important because she didn't have a shower... (or something to that effect)

So thank you all again :)

Tiffany - posted on 02/03/2010

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Absolutely have another shower. Every child deserves to be celebrated. Granted showers are quite different with second children but that is okay. With my second child I had a diaper shower and everyone brought diapers and wipes mainly. Even if my friends hadn't brought gifts I would have been happy. It's about getting together and celebrating a new life that is coming into the world. Don't let anyone make you feel bad, it is perfectly okay. Another reason to have one for me was I didn't want my other children to look back at baby books and see that my eldest had a big "party" with everyone we love when they are no less important. :)

Felicia - posted on 02/02/2010

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I don't see no reason not to have another baby shower. It supposed to be a celebration of an upcomming birth. I say go ahead and have one!

Caitlin - posted on 02/02/2010

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I honestly have never heard of people not having a baby shower no matter what number of children this child would make. Every baby needs to feel celebrated. Think about 10-15 years down the road when the younger one is looking at their old sibling's baby book and sees pictures from their baby shower and then realize that Mommy didnt have one for them. To me I think it would make the child's heart break and make them feel like nobody was as excited about their arrival as they were their old brother/sister's.

Rachelle - posted on 02/02/2010

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i had a shower for each of my kids but i never hosted my own. (if you dont have anyone to rely on then who's going to come?) i think it's great to celebrate every birth and you can always put "no gifts please" or have a diapers and wipes shower if you have everything you need. i read somewhere- if you want to be proper- that its ok to have a baby shower for a second if its the opposite sex or if you have a baby more than 5 years after the pervious one. and congrats!

[deleted account]

I think the only time it would be appropriate to have a baby shower for a second baby is if they are opposite genders. I also would never DREAM of throwing a baby shower for myself. A friend of mine did that, and I thought it was extremely tacky (plus, it was for his 4th kid, same gender as the other 3, which is why I didn't plan the thing myself).

I did not have a baby shower for my second one, although my kids are 5 years apart in age, and opposite genders. We definitely planned to do an informal dinner thing for just my husband's platoon to come over and meet the baby when he was a few weeks old, but then we came down on orders, and were too consumed with preparing to move cross country to manage putting the party together.

I definitely think a meet the baby party is far preferable to a baby shower for the second one. Most people will bring gifts anyhow, just small stuff, but at least it's not implied, like at a baby shower.

Emilie - posted on 02/02/2010

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My mom through me a baby shower for my first child (a boy), for my second (a girl) my in-laws and my grandmother each through me a shower. My husband knew I wanted a shower so he got his family to give me one. My grandmother through me a second baby shower when my daughter was about 2 weeks old and of course alot of peole came because they all wanted to see her. My first baby shower for my daughter was about a month before she was born. The first one we had a meal at my mother in laws house, the whole family was there, we had all kinds of food and cake and drinks, it was a good chance for people to talk and visit with each other and eat and I got alot of presents, such as diapers, bath products, blankets clothes ect. I had enough diapers to last a while, I don't think I actually had to use my own money to buy diapers until she was about 2 months old.

LauraBeth - posted on 02/02/2010

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I think it is fine to have one or throw one for yourself.



I will not be haveing a second one though, I didnt like the first one I had either but I dont like things to be all about me, Me and my husband have everything we need for our second child and We have the diapers, and new clothes undercontrol.



We like to have a comeing home from the hospital party/Birthday party for our little ones instead that way our family will get to meet our perfect little bundle of joy

Tiffany - posted on 02/02/2010

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I think it is ok to have a second shower. I agree that it is a nice idea to have it after the baby is born that way everyone can meet your new little one. I just had my second child in December and his shower was held in January. My friends and family were excited to come celebrate and have fun with the little man. It's more about the celebration then the gifts. In the end everyone ended up bringing my son a gift to the shower even though they didn't have to.

Jennifer - posted on 02/02/2010

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Go for it! Also, since you probably already have a lot of baby items, you can throw a freezer party. That is where everyone brings one dish that is able to go in the freezer instead of a baby gift, and after the baby is born, and you don't have time to cook, then you have all sorts of meals that are ready to go

Sheree - posted on 02/02/2010

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I didnt have a baby shower with my 1st, so i wont be planning one with any others i have. Its a personal opinion of mine, i also dont believe in Bridal showers or Kitchen Teas when you get married.

Erin - posted on 01/31/2010

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I threw my own baby shower. And if people get offended then seriously they need to grow a brain! I have lots of photos from my baby shower and am planning to put them on the photo board at James' 21st. it'd be unfair to your seccond bub not to have that chance. Just say that to anyone who makes a scene.

Trina - posted on 01/31/2010

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i have three children and preggers with my forth, althought my family has been the one to throw my showers for each, i don't think it is rude to throw a baby shower yourself!!! we have a baby shower for each baby of the family, it is no different really then throwing a birthday party each yr for your lil ones!!!! this is just their actual very first b-day party so to say, it is to celebrate the new come of a baby, it wouldn't be fair to to it for one child and not the other!!!!! go for it and don't worry about what others think, worry about what you would feel is right for the new baby and yourself!!! if people bring presents/ gifts it's on their own account, it would be more rude, and offending not to except their gifts!!! well good luck!!! if you'd like some ideas mail me i have tons, "big family and alotta babies", lol!!!!!

Monica - posted on 01/31/2010

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your second baby shower is called a "sprinkle", and generally people are suppesed to bring baby neccesedies like diapers, and formula :)

Liane - posted on 01/31/2010

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I certainly don't think it's inappropriate to have a shower for your new, little one! After all, each child is special, unique and deserves to be celebrated individually :) I really like Britney's idea about changing the "tone" of the party with Meet the Baby. I have three children and actually had several baby showers. With my first born I actually had two showers thrown for me (one from friends/family the other from my co-workers). I also had showers for my second and third child. With my first two, I had pretty traditional showers... women only, cute little snacks with baby themes and silly shower games. With my third child we opted to have a cookout/swim party. Families were invited instead of just women/kids. It wound up being a really fun party (even the men liked it). We did have some baby themed snacks and decor but overall we just enjoyed each others company and celebrated the coming of our son! Some people brought gifts, some did not but it wasn't about the presents... just the celebrating! Sure hope this helps! In my opinion, it would be wrong to NOT celebrate this joyous, new bundle of love that has been sent to you! Congratulations :)

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