Should I give my 3 yr old back her binky after the binky fairy took it away?

Shannon - posted on 10/14/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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My 3 yr old had the binky taken away about a month ago and right around the same time she will no longer take her nap. I am struggling with the decision to possibly get another binky in hopes she will start taking her naps again. Looking for some advise please.

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Darci - posted on 10/16/2009

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My daughter was over 2 1/2 when she "gave" her binky to her new baby cousin. And, she did great without it for the rest of our vacation (about a week). Then, we came home, and I forgot to take the binky out of her bed (as that was the only place she could have her binky besides the car). So, she would wake up crying every night for at least an hour until I decided to let her have her binky back. I decided I would fight that battle later. I like the statement that the baby fairy takes away and the baby fairy can give back.

She turned 3-years old (in December) about 4 months later, and I decided I'd try another method for getting rid of the binky. We had ONE binky, and I started cutting off a sixteenth of an inch every couple days... until there was about 1/8 of an inch left... she would STILL start with it at night (it would fall out as soon as she was sleeping). Then, I cut a little more off, and she couldn't even use her teeth to hold it in... and she said, "Mommy, it's broken." I simply said, "I guess you will have to be a big girl now, your binky is broken." And, she has not asked for a binky since.

She also has a new little sister who does have a binky (as of May), and my BIG girl is not even interested in her little sister's binky.

As for naps, this same daughter went through a stage (about 2-3 months) of thinking she didn't take a nap, and I didn't make her take a nap. But, since the new baby has arrived, and the middle kid (my boy) is taking naps in the bedroom that the 2 big kids share... I NEED my 3-year old to take a nap too. And, ever since the baby arrived, in May, my 3-year old has started taking naps regularly again! I typically get the baby to sleep first. Then, the 2-year old goes down in his bed for his nap... he falls asleep. I have about 10 minutes of quiet time (usually reading books) with my 3-year old, and then I walk her to her room, and remind her of the napping rules: 1) be quiet (so she doesn't wake the boy up) 2) keep your head on your pillow (so she stays in her bed) 3) stay under your covers (because that is the key to making he sleepy). I never tell her that she has to go to sleep... she just has to follow the rules or there are consequences.

So, I would say to you... it is okay to give the binky back and fight the battle later... more on your daughter's time schedule. I think it's good that kids nap (or at least have resting time) every afternoon up until the time that they start going to school all day.

User - posted on 10/16/2009

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i swaped my baby dummy for a handbag in day time but she has it at night but fariys havent got here yet but if you say they been stick with it as the will think that when you say somethings gone she will think its only gone for a couple of weeks then mummy can magicly get it back

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Tricia - posted on 10/17/2009

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No I don't think you should give it back. You will find something that will work. It may stink for a bit at first but don't give in it will be better for the both of you in the long run. It's not a bad thing to show your child who is in charge and give them a little tough love once in awhile when they need it. Hope this helps and good luck.

Tricia - posted on 10/17/2009

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My son did the same thing. After he kept chewing his binkies I finally told him that if he chewed another one that I wasn't buying another one and I didn't and he also stopped taking naps around the same time. So what I did is I moved his bedtime up earlier (if possible depending on schudule) because he still got cranky. The bed time has still pretty much stuck to the same time. I think in 7 years (since he was 2 when I took the binky away) I have moved the bedtime up three times, a half an hour each time. He is 9 right now and his bedtime is about 830pm no later(if we can help it) and later on the weekends. But I guess it all depends on you and your child. See what works best for you.

Rebecca - posted on 10/17/2009

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Ultimately you should do what's right for you and your child- and no one know what that may be better than you- but my advice is no, don't. After a month, it should be a broken habit already. A binky is a comfort object, and older kids usually transfer that to another object, such as a blankie or stuffed animal, anyway. Perhaps quiet time will help with the napping issue...My son gave up naps at 3, and he had been broken from his paci since he was 2, so the issues may not necessarily be related.

Myra - posted on 10/16/2009

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Why not allow her to make a soothing bond with some other object? She's 3...having that comfort object isn't hurting her (many experts think it's good for children to bond with an object), but I would try to move her from a pacifier to something more for a "big girl". Maybe a blanket, a doll, or other toy would sooth her and help her feel that she can take that nap again.

My daughter never liked pacifiers, but around 8 months old (she's now 16mo old) she developed a bond with this one particular wretchedly ugly blanket. It's the only object she has a bond with...everything else, she couldn't care less if it was gone. I say as long as the child can bond with people more than objects, there's no harm in that one special thing.

Iris - posted on 10/16/2009

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Well don't give her back her binky! She is too old for it now and about the naps, when my son turned 3 he stopped taking naps . I just put him to bed earlier then before.. He use to go to bed at 9 , I put him to bed at 8 and he would sleep all night..

Christen - posted on 10/16/2009

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OMG!!!!! No don't give in, I also waited until my son was 3yr when we took his away, you go back an your word now it sets a pattern. Stick wtih your gun! The child WILL learn and it is a learned thing so be patient and be proud of yourself for being strong hang in there. Replace with a new sense of security for the little one, stuffed friend or blanky maybe.

Vanessa - posted on 10/16/2009

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Hello, I woulden't give it back, once its gone i'd keep telling my little one that you are a big girl now & big girls don't need to have a binky. She may get upset for a time & she may not. Just praise her & tell her what a big girl she being & how proud you are of her. Giving it back may cause more trouble then the 1st time when it comes to taking it away for the 2ed. time. Good luck & hang in there, it will bet easyer. :)

Jane - posted on 10/15/2009

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NOOOOOOOOO! she's at the age where she's giving up naps. introduce something else at that time of day, reading or drawing or have her help you w/putting clothes away, etc. then get her to bed earlier w/a bath-book-bed routine. things will smooth out.

Julie - posted on 10/15/2009

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I would definatly NOT give it back to her! You both would have to go through giving it up all over again! Maybe she's just at that age where she doesnt need a nap anymore. My daughter is 2yrs old and she's in between napping. Some days she will and somedays she wont. I took her binki at the beginning of summer and it was rough! She didnt sleep as much at night and had a hard time napping too. Now she does good! I just have to watch because she has some toy binkis for her babies that I've seen in her mouth!

Gloria - posted on 10/15/2009

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i wouldnt give it back to her. try to make her more tired.read to her if u dont already.or just make it a movie with her blanket.she might just go to sleep.

Arwen - posted on 10/15/2009

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Don't give it back! Go for "quiet time" instead of nap time. Buy a copy of Bambie, and make her lay there to watch it. She'll be out in 15 minutes.



She might also be getting enough sleep at night and not need a nap. I think 10-12 hours a day is recommended.

[deleted account]

don't do it! lol. I took mine away at 1 year old, and it was tough, but I did it. she adjusted eventually. Dont' worry.. it'll work. What worked for my little girl to help her get over needing something, is I fill her sippie cup less than 1/4 full of water, and give her that when I layed her down. That took care of the initial Sucking fixation, and she'd get a drink, but not so much that she was sleeping with a bunch of water in her stomach. it was just long enough to get her to settle intot he idea of a nap, and eventually the cup became the comfort instead of the binki, even though she only got a few sips from it.

Carollida - posted on 10/15/2009

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No dont give it back. It is horrible for their teeth. They should be off it by 2 at the latest for that reason. Around 3 they stop taking naps anyways. Some stop at 2 and some hold out until 4. Why is it so important for her to take a nap? She could perhaps do quiet time with a movie or something.

Pamela Jo (pj) - posted on 10/14/2009

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u can't make a kid feel 2 safe. binky fairy can take away and binky fairy can give back. your 3 year old will give up binky when she's ready. trust me...there is plenty of time for your daughter to grow up...

Nicole - posted on 10/14/2009

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Absolutely not! You did well by taking it away from her...it'll be hard to not give in, but don't do it. Eventually, she will forget about it completely and you'll never have to deal with it again:)

Kiaya - posted on 10/14/2009

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NO NO NO! It will mess up her teeth so much and how bad would it be to try to get it away from her again when she starts school.

Alison - posted on 10/14/2009

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NO WAY!!!! Aim for the "Quiet time" she may not fall asleep but a little time without noise or activity may be all she needs. Just rememmber once you take something away and give it back your kids will always think thats an option, that if they scream or act up enough they can have what they want. Just give it time she will find a new way to sooth herself.

Jessica - posted on 10/14/2009

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NO!! By two my daughter had no bink. She is three now and only naps some of the time. I encourage my daughter to still rest in her bed and read books. It is hard as a parent to give up nap time, but I think your daughter is probly ready to give up both.

Stephanie - posted on 10/14/2009

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OH NO ! Don't do that your luckey you where able to take it away i'm still stuggling to take the binky away and i would give up nap time in order to get rid of that binky . my son is going to be three but is satrting pre school and I can take anything away from him but not that binky it be hareder then potty training lol don't give in

E - posted on 10/14/2009

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Don't get another binky!!!!!!!!! don't do it, if you give her another one she will never want to give it up, my daughter and her little friend both gave them up at 3 and it did take some adjusting to it but you have to be strong... also the nap thing, my daughter gave up her naps before she turned three... so it could just be that your daughter is ready to go thru the day with no naps, that too will take some adjusting.... just be strong!!!!! NO MORE BINKYS!!!! good luck!

[deleted account]

no dont give in and give it back! if you do, the addiction to the binky will continue and you dont want that.DONT GIVE IN.You did good by taking it away.I will soon be in your shoes with this binky issue.Oh how i dread it!

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