should i let my 16 year old daughters boyfriend move in to her bedroom to live at my house

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Tiffany - posted on 11/07/2009

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I DONT THINK THAT IS A WISE IDEA. WHEN I WAS 16 ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS SEX AND HOW ALL MY FRIENDS WERE DOING IT. THEN I DECIDED TO JOIN THE CROWD AND BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I MAY HAVE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH NOT TO END UP PREGNANT BUT IM 20 NOW AND HAVE A BABY THAT I WASNT READY FOR. I WOULDNT CHANGE IT NOW BECAUSE I LOVE MY SON MORE THAN ANYTHING BUT I WAS NOT READY TO BE A MOM BEFORE IT HAPPENED. HIS DAD IS THE FIRST GUY I EVER MOVED IN WITH AFTER BEING WITH HIM ONLY A YEAR. IF YOU END UP DECIDING TO LET HIM STAY WITH HER A WISE CHOICE WOULD BE TO MAKE SURE SHE IS ON A GOOD BIRTH CONTROL (THE SHOT WOULD BE THE BEST ONE BECAUSE YOU CAN BRING HER GET IT AND KNOW SHE GETS IT DONE) AND ALSO HAS AND KNOWS HOW TO USE CONDOMS. IF SHE ENDS UP PREGNANT HER BOYFRIEND MAY NOT STICK AROUND AND HELP HER AND THEN SHE COULD END UP DEPRESSED AND CAN HAVE OTHER PROBLEMS AFRTERWARDS. THINK ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTERS FUTURE BEFORE MAKING THAT CHOICE. I HOPE I HELPED.

Brenda - posted on 11/10/2009

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If you don't have problems...Don't go looking for them.. Your first responability is your daughter not another boy.. Go to the bible and look for answers there and try to talk to her.. if she don't listen then be the parent and lay down the law.. spare the rod spoil the child..if you give them a inch they will take a mile..

Rachel - posted on 11/08/2009

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When I was a teenager my Dad and Mom let my boyfriend move in with me. He didn't stay in the same room with me and I didn't get pregnant but it is something today that I don't understand how a parent can let happen. Although I didn't get pregnant I was put in a situation to where I lost my virginity to him, and he also became very abusive to me after things changed. It made my school life,my social life and my home life a living nightmare because we were together all the time! It was even worse when my parents weren't home. This is such a bad idea for your daughter!! That is not a normal relationship for someone her age to have, especially her boyfriend moving in to her room!What are you both going to do when she ends up pregnant and the boyfriend moves out after he has used you both! When your daughter grows up she will question why you made such a horrible decision for her.Please take to heart everyone's comments posted!!!

Chantelle - posted on 11/08/2009

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I cant beleive some of these replys!!! youve come on here for help yet your getting ridiculed SOD all these so called mums that are giving you down the banks without knowing anything but a question a simple NO would do fine. Im 21 and ive been with my boyfriend since i was 15 years old. NO we didnt do the live in thing as my parents didnt allow it and to be honest i didnt want it i was far too young and the days spent together where better for it :) I dont think you should allow it for many reasons and maybe youve asked on here because friends you hyave dont have the hearts to speak openly with you about this. All i can say is good luck and i hope everything works out for you and your daughter. And as for everyone saying about becoming pregnant NOT all of us are that stupid but accidents can happen. Theres loads i could put on here about where else she going to do it and how much trust you have withing your relationship. Basicly do what you know is best and always have your daughters wellbeing before her happiness coz us young girls inlove sometimes happiness in our eyes leads to alot of misery that we cant see. Best of luck x

Kristel - posted on 11/07/2009

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OMG! I dont think so! And how old is this boyfriend? This would just be condoning sex as a minor & teen-pregnancy! Make your house rules clear & don't back down! Maybe you can remember when you were that age & what did YOU or other teens your age do!Good luck! :)

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Mila - posted on 06/05/2011

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That would depend on a few things, are you ready for that. Is she pregnant? why would he be moving in?

Eunice - posted on 06/05/2011

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Why is this a question. 16 year old boys only think about sex and more sex. But not knowing the entire situation I believe you will be a granny real soon after he moves in. Not a good idea

[deleted account]

Noway! If my stepson asked that question i'd knock his head threeways from weds with reasons why not and he's over 18. not to meantion if you have other kids do you really want their "partners" moving in. that can start to be ALOT of ppl when they aren't old enough to know if its love or lust.

Bridgett - posted on 01/25/2010

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you were a teen once...i know that you know they are lieing machines...they say they wont but they will....i had my first child when i was 16 because my dad let my boyfriend move in and i was a virgin and within a month that boy was in my pants and a month later i was pregnant...he had me lieing and sneaking around like crazy.....and looking back on it i resent my dad a bit for it also.....because i feel he should have been more of a father than trying to be my friend...

Samantha - posted on 01/25/2010

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None of us on here know you're situation, but I also advice against it. My parenst actually allowed my younger sister's boyfriend to move in with her. She was already pregnant, but the displays of affection they showed around my much younger siblings, including her straddling his lap in the living room, really upset me. If your daughter wants to have sex, she eventually will, with or without your allowing her bf to move in. But that will trap her and it could only get worse from there. She may end up getting into something else he is hiding, mainly because she feels pressured with him so close so often. If possible, give him another option in your house, or help him find somewhere else to live. Also I advice speaking to his parents. If he is too old to be living with his parents, say over the age of 23 or 24, I advice to not give into her teen hormones and have a few other important talks with her and him as well. A teen girl is far to vulnerable to peer pressure to allow it so close and possibly overcome her completely.

Ashley - posted on 01/25/2010

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ok this question is bugging me ... I say do what you think is best if this boy has no wheres else to go at all you and your daughter may be able to work out something where he stays in the basement or a spare room til he can find other places to stay ... why does everyone jump to this is about sex... yes it very well could be but you people are talking like if this boy moves in they will be having sex ... even if the boy doesnt they could still be having sex .... at least you can keep a closer eye and know whats going on at all times ... have a good talk with your daughter and if you decide to let this boy move in outline clear details of what you expect .. good luck ...

Erica - posted on 12/01/2009

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I would have to say that you should say no, im not gonna belittle you over it, but it is a bad idea. Good luck with your decision! Hopefully you listen to everyone on here that is telling you its a horrible idea.

Brittany - posted on 12/01/2009

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as long as she is on birth control. I was not allowed to stay the night with guys until i was 18 and i still had sex when i was 16.

Sarah - posted on 11/16/2009

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My brother's g/f moved in and within a month she was pregnant. They got married they had only been together two months at this point when she found out and it turned into a total nightmare for us and our whole family. Please do not let him move in it will not end well!!

Laura - posted on 11/14/2009

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I'm also wondering if this is a real question! After reading all the replies, I thought here would be some elaboration.

My gut says NO!

[deleted account]

Never especially if you have younger kids living in the same house.The only way I would have to say its ok is if she is already pregnant by him and he plans on sticking around to help and is working and going to school. But even than I would say No if I have Younger kids in the house.

Kellie - posted on 11/13/2009

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i was 15 when my boyfriend moved in with us, i was pregnant 2 months later, i have grown up and am taking care of my responsabilities on my own. he left when she was 7months old saying that he was to younge for it all, now he tells everyone that i am a bitch and they why he dont bother with her she is 10 yrs old and i love her to bits and i would not change her but it has not been easy. i recommend that you say no to your daughter to protect her in the long run, but if they are having sex they will do it wether they in your house or not. good luck.

Monique - posted on 11/13/2009

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sorry but hell no its like you saying if you want to have sex go ahead you might ass well get a gun and shoot your self you will be sorry if you do that

Linda - posted on 11/13/2009

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i know everyone is harping on you about this but i was 17 and lived with my BF we werent "allowed" to have sex regardless we did it anyways but i didnt end up pregnant from that situation and never had an STD, teach your daughter ALL about sex and use your instinct, mothers have it for a reason trust your thoughts. also you need to think about your daughter as a person, does she seem promoscuious? how long have they been together etc. good luck hon

Lauren - posted on 11/13/2009

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honesty if there having sex there having sex wheather or not you let them sleep in the same bed. and its gonna happen if he is in a basement or a different room. if it is a situation where he has to have a place to stay i dont see why he cant. if she is gonna end up pregnant its gonna happen at night or not. smartest idea buy her some condoms and get her on some bc. or she will end up pregnant. just be open with her. it will make things easier.

Angela - posted on 11/13/2009

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I would say this is easy, No not in her room. I think a kid should be a kid and granted they will have sex regardless if they want to but why would you put then in a postion that will make it easy? Life is hard enough as a teen with out the added pressure of being a "wife" to your BF.

Also why is it that no details were provided here? I think this question was asked to start a big ole debate.

Wendy - posted on 11/13/2009

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i dont think you should but on the other hand would they go and find somewhere else to do anything...

and if you fully trust your daughter and her bf and they will come talk to you about whats going on on their lives then trust them to do the right thing.

Crystal - posted on 11/13/2009

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Sorry to be straight forward but are you Serious!!? No way Jose!! She is too young.. Unless you want a grandchild soon from her then thats you but she has her whole life ahead of her before getting too serious and living with her boyfriend she has now and then later on get frustrated and tired of him cause they moved in too soon.. Think about it.. Your smart you know what decisions to make. Don't let your kids make it for you..

Irene - posted on 11/13/2009

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Ahhhhh let me think about that. Um NO NO and NO! No offense but just by the mere fact that you are asking makes me question who might make decisions in your house. Not even negotiable!

Kimisha - posted on 11/13/2009

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i don't care if that boy is homeless! find him a nice comfortable shelter and let them visit or something

[deleted account]

Absolutely not! If you dont want your daughter to be a teen mom, then I would say NO.....He should not even live in the same home in my opinion...you can't watch over them 24/7.....

Michelle - posted on 11/13/2009

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No, definatly not! So many parents of teenagers feel such presure to "go along with others". But in the end you have to realize no matter how much your child beggs and pleads with you to let her do the things you know in your heart is wrong, deep down she wants limits or at least know she needs them. Kids, even teenagers wants to know you care enough to set limits and standards for them. Also in the end no matter what the rest of the world is letting their kids do, that is your daughter and you (not the world) is responspible for her wellbeing. I think you know in your heart what to do anyway, you just wanted support from someone.

Marcy - posted on 11/13/2009

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if she does happen to get prego dont ever kick her out. shes ur child and u shouldnt ever abandon ur kids esp for getting pregnant.

Marcy - posted on 11/13/2009

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if they have been together for a while and u know the boy well enough then sure why not. my dad let my boyfriend stay with us when we were 16. just make sure u trust them and that there useing protection.

Shannon - posted on 11/13/2009

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If you feel that she is old enough to live on her own, take care of herself then give her a pack of birth control pills, have the sex talk with her. With all of that plus a lot of in your face supervision, sure. Then IF she gets prego you have the grounds to kick her out and tell her I said no.

Sommer - posted on 11/13/2009

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NO NO NO NO, are you crazy? You are a MOTHER, not a friend. You are opening up all kinds of issues with that. If you do allow this to happen, do not get mad when she ends up pregnant.

Tina - posted on 11/13/2009

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Neighbor did it a few years ago and you know what happened their daughter got pregnant and they now have a grandchild. Boyfriend is now gone but the daughter and the grandchild live with them still a year later. Besides that the teenager never finished high school. I hope all these replies help you...

[deleted account]

um... I would say no Cause she is 16, and will probably end up pregnant and I don't think she is ready for that yet. She has the rest of her life ahead of her and if she gets pregnant and has a baby she will miss out on everything in Highschool. Or she will be apart of it and you will be raising your grandchild. Is there any special reason that her boyfriend needs to move in?? And how old is he? And if he is 16 then why is he not wanting to live with his parents?

Heather - posted on 11/13/2009

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Just because they live together does not mean she will have sex and get preggo.. My cousin's boyfriend lived with her since she was 16.. In a room in the basement tho. But anyways they are now 26 and been married for 6 years. Guess what tho all that time they lived together they just now had a baby.



It doesn't matter if they live together or not if they want to have sex they will...



Anyways, I won't let my boys live with a girl at that age only because that is just me.



We don't know the situation and she should not be called a bad parent or anything for asking an opinion..

Caroline - posted on 11/13/2009

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no its not a good idea maybe if you let him stay one night a week or something on the couch but she is too young to have that kind of relashonship usless you think she is ready for it dont do somthing you will regret forever like if she gets pregnant or something

Leslie - posted on 11/13/2009

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I can not believe you even asked this question. There is no way my daughters boyfriend is moving in to my house or my son's girlfriend for that matter. If the boy has no where to go than I will find him a place to live, but it's not at my house.There will be no staying the night either.

Angela - posted on 11/12/2009

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Absolutely not! Do you want to be a grandma? That's just asking for trouble honey! You need to say NO and firmly, she will get pissed buy eventually understand you...she needs to know NO!

Tabatha - posted on 11/12/2009

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heres my opinion, at 16, shes probably already slept with him if she wants him to move in, i got with my husband at 16, now im 21 with 2birth sons and a step son, i would not change a thing, your situation isnt explained, i have had people stay with me, for granted never a boyfriend but they were guys and nothing went on, beings they are dating, for this to be a public opinion, how long have they been together, get him tested, get her tested, to cover them, get her on birth control, if she isnt already, make sure she isnt currently pregnant. tell them to be completley honest if you do make the choice. if they are wanting to just have sex, tell him the consiquences, have him keep grade up as well as look for a part time job to occupy time, this also depends on how responsible each one is and how honest. when i started having sex i didnt tell my mom, because it wasnt approved, but heres the thing, if its in your house, you can control it per say, my sister didnt get her way and left and got pregnant anyways, now 11 yrs of an unhappy marrage and 3 kids later, she still regrets it, there gonna have sex either way, its the question if you want it in your house. remember you are the mom, not the sister or friend, make sure he is imancipated also, other wise you could get in trouble for condoning it.

Tabatha - posted on 11/12/2009

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heres my opinion, at 16, shes probably already slept with him if she wants him to move in, i got with my husband at 16, now im 21 with 2birth sons and a step son, i would not change a thing, your situation isnt explained, i have had people stay with me, for granted never a boyfriend but they were guys and nothing went on, beings they are dating, for this to be a public opinion, how long have they been together, get him tested, get her tested, to cover them, get her on birth control, if she isnt already, make sure she isnt currently pregnant. tell them to be completley honest if you do make the choice. if they are wanting to just have sex, tell him the consiquences, have him keep grade up as well as look for a part time job to occupy time, this also depends on how responsible each one is and how honest. when i started having sex i didnt tell my mom, because it wasnt approved, but heres the thing, if its in your house, you can control it per say, my sister didnt get her way and left and got pregnant anyways, now 11 yrs of an unhappy marrage and 3 kids later, she still regrets it, there gonna have sex either way, its the question if you want it in your house. remember you are the mom, not the sister or friend, make sure he is imancipated also, other wise you could get in trouble for condoning it.

Christine - posted on 11/12/2009

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not into her bedroom, with kids her age now adays having babies , almost like kids having kids, not a good idea. Now If you had a spare room down the hall somewhere it was temp. for him staying there then maybe, inless the girl is pregnant and he is there to help, other than those , no mam

Tabatha - posted on 11/12/2009

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heres my opinion, at 16, shes probably already slept with him if she wants him to move in, i got with my husband at 16, now im 21 with 2birth sons and a step son, i would not change a thing, your situation isnt explained, i have had people stay with me, for granted never a boyfriend but they were guys and nothing went on, beings they are dating, for this to be a public opinion, how long have they been together, get him tested, get her tested, to cover them, get her on birth control, if she isnt already, make sure she isnt currently pregnant. tell them to be completley honest if you do make the choice. if they are wanting to just have sex, tell him the consiquences, have him keep grade up as well as look for a part time job to occupy time, this also depends on how responsible each one is and how honest. when i started having sex i didnt tell my mom, because it wasnt approved, but heres the thing, if its in your house, you can control it per say, my sister didnt get her way and left and got pregnant anyways, now 11 yrs of an unhappy marrage and 3 kids later, she still regrets it, there gonna have sex either way, its the question if you want it in your house. remember you are the mom, not the sister or friend, make sure he is imancipated also, other wise you could get in trouble for condoning it.

NaTosha - posted on 11/12/2009

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No!!! I will tell you that my mom let my boyfriend move in with me when I was 16 and I was pregnant at 17 and I just know no matter how good of a girl you are when you live together things happen. My boyfriend at the time was staying in another room and after my parents went to be he would go through my parents room to get to mine but he did it. So I would say NO!!!

Blair - posted on 11/12/2009

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i would say no not a good idea... when i was 19 my bf moved into my moms house with me and now im 21 with a son... he is now my fiance but its taken us a long time to get to this point ... in fact i didnt know if we were actually goin to make it this far and at 16 i definitely know i was no where near ready to be in this situation... even now at 21 its really tough for me to find a job... i havent worked since my son was born 5 months ago and i know that when i was 16 with no experience it was even harder to find a job so she really doenst need to be in a situation like mine with bein so young.

Misty - posted on 11/12/2009

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I agree with the people who have said we should be able to ask whatever we need to on this site. Isn't that what we are here for? I'm thinking this mom has enough common sense to know what our response was going to be. Sadly, she may have even expected to be judged and attacked for it. We do not know why she posted the question here but i think she deserves our honest opinions and advice. For whatever reason, it was us she chose to ask!! It may be that she needed all this feedback to show her daughter how universally wrong this would be. I know my kid would probably be acting like i was the only mom in the world who was not living in the 21st century. So here's my opinion, danette. By no means is this a good idea. i have known people who allowed this thinking they could control the situation, it never works out that way. PLEASE do not do this!!

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