should i let my 16 year old daughters boyfriend move in to her bedroom to live at my house

Leyna - posted on 11/10/2009

I think that some of these people are overreacting... is your daughter responsible? unless there's a reason (pregnant, kicked out, job, college...) then the answer should be a no. but if there is a liable reason, and your daughter is responsible, then why not? i'm currently 17 years old, with an 8 month old son. My boyfriend lives with me at my mother's house & he's not even the babies father. It works out great actually... my boyfriend gives me rides to & from school and helps watch the baby while i'm gone. Just make sure the boyfriend actually is a somebody and not someone your going to have to provide for.

Tandy - posted on 11/10/2009

NO, NO, NO....that is just asking for all kinds of trouble and what happens if they break up.. what will you do then?

Tandy - posted on 11/10/2009

NO, NO, NO....that is just asking for all kinds of trouble and what happens if they break up.. what will you do then?

Margaret - posted on 11/10/2009

I moved into my boyfriends families home (long story) at that age and lived with them for 3 years and it was fine, I just became another member of the family.

Keri - posted on 11/10/2009

No.

Raquel - posted on 11/10/2009

The fact that you even had to ask this question begs to question what type of parent you are in the first place. I hate to place judgement, but if you expect your daughter to be a responsible, decent adult; then you should be teaching her to be a respectable, decent youth. Decency begins at home, show her that you view her as a decent young lady and just say "NO"!

Melissa - posted on 11/10/2009

No. If you feel you need to help him, mentor him in becoming self-sufficient. He may be young, but he can live with room-mates and have a job to support himself. There are plenty of young people who have had it hard and who have come out fine on the other end. If you let him move in with you, you are enabling his situation and now have another child to raise. Not to mention the pressure on your daughter should she want to "break up" with him -as at that age, things do not last forever. You will then be forced to ask him to leave and potentially put him right back to where he is now - now only YOU are to blame... Give him $100.00 and challenge him to turn it into $1,000. If he is smart and motivated to better his own situation -rather than looking for a handout - he will succeed. You are putting your whole family at risk by considering this - especially your daughter - who is legally still a child - and him, because if she does end up pregnant, he has now broken the law and could face jail time. Best advice is to love him for who he is - and help him best you can - from a distance.

Shannon - posted on 11/10/2009

Oh and in RE: To Amanda White's comment ...I was VERY educated and came from a strong Cicilian /catholic family whom my grandfather was a very high up attorney/member of the House in D.C. and so Being raised up and uneducated is just a poor choice of words ,That does not matter ..I was Raised up VERY well and when a young girl is" IN LOVE" or thinks she is ,things CAN and mostly do happen ..Now a days teens are even more OPEN about things like this ..Its very sad but true !!

Shannon - posted on 11/10/2009

uhhhh NO!!! LOL...IMy parents kicked me out of the house when I was 17 and I moved into my boyfriends house and had my "Own room" and was NOT suppose to stay downstairs in my boyfriends but umm yah well put it this way Within 3 months I was pregnent ..ALL we did was have sex ..ALL THE TIME !! LOL He is my husband now and julie is nine but I have two daughters and that will NEVER go down over here ..

Shelly - posted on 11/10/2009

No that is not something a sixteen year old is capable of handling at all. That is setting up a perfect situation to become a statistic and it won't be a good one.

Brenda - posted on 11/10/2009

If you don't have problems...Don't go looking for them.. Your first responability is your daughter not another boy.. Go to the bible and look for answers there and try to talk to her.. if she don't listen then be the parent and lay down the law.. spare the rod spoil the child..if you give them a inch they will take a mile..

Maryann - posted on 11/10/2009

no! this is a bad idea these kids are not even old enough to date yet in my eyes! good luck.

Erica - posted on 11/10/2009

omg no...thats how I got pregnant at 16

Carrie - posted on 11/10/2009

I cannot belive you would even ask a question like that......where are your morals to teach your daughter???? She is only 16 and still your baby.....

Barby - posted on 11/10/2009

It amazes me that everyone is going on and on about condoning sex. Whether they are under the same roof or not, if they wanna have sex they will. There are lots of places to have a quickie whether Mom approves or not. It's almost 2010 folks!

Barby - posted on 11/10/2009

I don't know the situation and will not judge you but I can say that when I was 14 my mom let my 18 yr old boyfriend stay with us in a separate room 2 levels up from mine and it was ok but it didn't last long. Our bf/gf relationship ended up feeling like we were brother and sister and we needed more time and space away from each other. I, at 14, thought it was "cool" and didn't see anything wrong with it but looking back I realize that it wasn't a wise choice. Then again when I was 16 my Mom allowed my much older bf (21) to move in with us and I thought it was fabulous of course. I was head over heels in love with him and no one could have changed my mind about dating him. We ended up getting our own place a few months later and then I became pregnant at 17. We then dated on and off for 8 years and looking back I wish my Mom would have put her foot down because I would have been able to experience much more youthful events rather than becoming and adult way too fast. But, then again, I don't think she could have stopped me from dating him, but at least not living together. I'm glad that I have my son who is now nearly 11, but if I could take back time I would have not made that decision to live with a bf at such a young age. Once we broke up it was nothing but heartache and struggle. He abandoned my son and didn't pay child support. Ultimately, I had his rights terminated. I wish I could go back and do things differently and but everything happens for a reason. I know you didn't mention pregnancy but it his much more likely to happen when the couple are living under the same roof.



You can never take those teenage years back. But all situations are different. I know a couple that got pregnant at 15 and the parents let the boy move in and they had their baby, got married at 18 and now have 2 more kids and have been married for 10 years. Trust your gut instinct and think about how you will feel down the road looking back and if you would still think you made the right decision. And remember ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE YOU!

Qurasha - posted on 11/10/2009

NO WAYS......she should be thinking about finishing school,and getting an education because she will need that to survive in this world that we live in.As a mum we all want whats best for our children and i think you should not have to even think about this.STRAIGHT OUT NO!!!!!!

Kimberly - posted on 11/09/2009

No way! Especially not in her room!! The only reason you should be letting that boy live in your house is if he was kicked out and/or abandoned and he doesn't have any relatives or friends he could crash with. Even if she says she hates you, she really does love you, and she will be thankful later on down the road when she realizes that it wasn't love, it was all about sex and they will both respect you for standing your ground.

Jessica - posted on 11/09/2009

only if you WANT your daughter to end up a mom as well. im 20 so its not hard for me to think back to when i was 16, and if my mom had let my boyfriend move into my room, i can promise you, we would have gone crazy with the freedom of it. shes your daughter and its your decision, but you should be aware of the possibilities.

Kristal - posted on 11/09/2009

Not unless you want to be a grandma sometime soon!

Mary - posted on 11/09/2009

Hi I'm new to this circle of mom thing. But I have a 13 year old step-daughter and If i was you I wouldn't do that unless u want to become a grand-mother early. That's a BAD IDEA!!!!

Amanda - posted on 11/09/2009

NO NO NO!!!!!

User - posted on 11/09/2009

NO!!!!!

Kelly - posted on 11/09/2009

ok....i was 16 when i got pregnant and i was ever aloud to have my boyfriend stay the night or live with me or relaly be in my bedroom alone with him...... there was always his house or the car or outside..... NO you should not let your daughters boyfriend move in... but why does she want him to move in??its asking for trouble.... and you as a WOMAN should know that.theres an agenda there other than "can he move in" and she will try and weasle her way around the real answer of why she wants him in there like hes having trouble at home or blah blah..... if that is the case than say well then he can stay in the basement if he has some trouble or on the couch but good GOD not in her bed!!!

Marie - posted on 11/09/2009

No..this should not even be a question. What kind of life do you start when a 16 year girl or boy is allowed to have a boyfriend live with them? Are we condoning sex. I dont know the whole situation but it's not a healthy situation for a family setting.

Crissy - posted on 11/09/2009

i was 16 when my parents let my boyfriend move in, i am now 25 and have only just had a baby.....

give her the benefit of the doubt not all kids are bad........ and trial it for 3 months if you dont like it tell him to leave

Jill - posted on 11/09/2009

R U SERIOUS???? HELL NO!!! YOUR ASKING FOR PROBLEMS IF YOU DO. I JUST HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD JOB, CAUSE UR GONNA END UP NOT ONLY SUPPORTING THOSE TWO, BUT HOWEVER MANY BABIES WILL COME OUT OF IT. DON'T U HAVE ANY MORALS????

Christina - posted on 11/09/2009

No not unless you want to be a grandma my mom let my now husband when i was 17 and I was pregnant 3 months later

Kryss - posted on 11/09/2009

why your daughters room? why not the couch or a other friend of yours why disrespect you and your household.. even in a bad situation, if the boy was homeless i d just see if a friend would house him till he found a spot:)

Miriam - posted on 11/09/2009

i have read alot of the replies and i dont understand some of you. i keep reading "if you wanna be a grandma, if you wanna take care of another baby. let me say this: i was 16 when i got pregnant and my boyfriend did not live with me and i did not live with him. and my parents or his didnt take care of her, we (me and the father) did. and we are still together after 7 years with 4 amazing kids. would i recomend it, probably not. its not that it is a horrible idea, its just she will get sick and tired of being with him 24/7. tell her not to grow up so fast. be a teenager she has the rest of her life to be an adult. but good luck in what ever you choose.

Alice - posted on 11/09/2009

NO! Period!

Alice - posted on 11/09/2009

NO! Period!

Cheryl - posted on 11/09/2009

I moved in with my bf when i was 16, NEVER got pregs , it went well, actually made me grow up having no one to be dependent on , then i realised i wanted something diff and moved out when i was 18. Only reason i moved out of home was my mum moved over seas to be with her new husband and i didnt want to go i was happy here and was still at school i didnt end up on drugs and drink and still havent done that and wont now Im 23 and now have a gorgeous husband and 2 kiddies and another on the way due april and happy and loving life and working from home. All i can say is if she is mature 16 and knows whats right and whats no go then go ahead but if she is a immature 16 yr old no way your just asking for trouble.

Megan - posted on 11/09/2009

hahaha let him move in and next they'll be making movies with your video cam who knows you might get the time she gets knocked up on video for a keepsake that would great right??? lol the answer is NOOOONOOONOONOO!!!

Carol - posted on 11/09/2009

This is going to be my shortest reply on here so far. NO! It's the same in every language!

Hayley - posted on 11/09/2009

Quoting Trish:

No!! bad idea.. Thats just asking for teen pregnacy and grandma raising the baby!

im a teen mum and i havnt dumped my baby, cant people have a bit of faith. not all teen parents are bad

Hayley - posted on 11/09/2009

Quoting Bianca:

um, NO my husbands mother let his younger brothers girlfriend move in and gess what she is preggers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bad idear
only if u want to become a granny and look after ther kid and help with money ect!!

i moved in with my boyfriends family at 17 and became pregnant

none of our parents look after the baby or pay for things. we do it all our self

Meara - posted on 11/09/2009

No-it automatically moves their relationship to a new level even if they aren't having sexual relations. This would make it hard for her to get out of the relationship

Kawona - posted on 11/09/2009

No! No! No!

Chloe - posted on 11/09/2009

wow. the amount of mothers on here that have clearly never had talks with their daughters on birth control and sex is amazing. 90% of you are all closed minded droids that will probably end up young grandmothers because you will not educate your kids. good luck with that. oh and by the way, if the childs not concieved in a bed in your house, it will probably be at school or at a park or party somewhere. kids who are too "protected" by their parents turn out alot worse then kids with parents who understand and talk about things. My mum's my best friend and she still said no to me. But only when it was the right thing to say. I knew if i got the answer no, there was something wrong with what i was asking. Your kids will most likly hate you and do EVERYTHING you say not to. Let the kid move in, pay rent, pay bills and help around the house. Include condoms in your weekly shopping cart and TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEX for god's sake.

Trish - posted on 11/09/2009

No!! bad idea.. Thats just asking for teen pregnacy and grandma raising the baby!

Lindsay - posted on 11/09/2009

Do you really need to ask that question? U should know the answer

Hayley - posted on 11/09/2009

Quoting Mandie:

This is crazy! She is a child.. You are suppose to protect her, Not let her live with her boyfriend! You are the mother here... The lasting damage that this could do to her is insane! Please take the time to see the DANGER In this!

there is no danger in this at all. if the both of them want to have sex they will do it no matter what. parents need to realise this. thnk back to when you was a young girl.

Hayley - posted on 11/09/2009

our baby was planned though, it dosent matter if he lives with your daughter or not, if they want to have sex then they will do it no matter you do or say

Hayley - posted on 11/09/2009

when my boyfriend used to live with his parents he slept in caravan in their back garden. when the both of us had not long turned 17 i moved into it with him. everything turned out fine. we now have our own little family and are living in our own home.

Marie - posted on 11/09/2009

"should i let my 16 year old daughters boyfriend move in to her bedroom to live at my house"



... no.

Kristi - posted on 11/09/2009

Are you kidding me?? Your job as the parent is to set limits for your kids until they are on their own, and then to be an example for them as young adults. Talk to your daughter about having respect for herself so that others will respect her too. If her friend/boyfriend or whatever the heck you want to call it is in dire straights, be a good parent to your daughter by helping him find resources for help in the community like Department of Children's and Family Services or Salvation Army. This will show her how to be responsible and be a good Samaratin at the same time. You do not need to sacrifice good parenting or to be her friend. She is 16 years old and is depending on you to say no to this bad decision and others like it. I guarantee you she will be RELIEVED at everything you have protected her from when she stops any dramatic overtones of being upset with you. You have just relieved her of the obligation to be sexually active before she is ready for that type of mental burden, nevermind the physical dangers of it. Be a big girl, please!! For your daughter's sake, and for her boyfriend's sake. No young man in his right mind will have any respect for a girl or her parents that let him doink her in their own home with their permission. Be strong for your girl!!

Amanda - posted on 11/09/2009

also i love the way everyone is just asuming that your daughter will get pregnant she wont if she is properly educated and is using protection !! and not only that like i said she could get pregnant any were trust me they will find a way to have sex !! and ive just read all the replies on here you asked for advice not to get a lecture ! people leave her alone saying things like shes trying to be a friend not a mom obviously she is trying to be a good mom other wise she wouldnt have asked for your advice !!!!! dont mind all these negative comments only you can make this decision and only you know your daughter ,and we are all different parents we all have different ways of doing things

Amanda - posted on 11/09/2009

i dont nesseasarily think this is a bad idea me and my boyfriend first met when i was 17 and he lived in england and i lived in ireland so we both use to stay for months at a time in one anothers bedroom ! and now were still together and im 23 i had my baby 2 years ago and she was planned and we are getting married in 10 months ! i think there needs to be some bounderies of course you need to really trust your daughter make sure she is protected and that she is mature enough for this ! i never disrepected my parents and i never abused there trust by getting pregnant ! lets face it she is 17 with a boyfriend she is most definitely having sex would you rather they did it in a feild or somewere ! at least youll no were she is and wat she is doing ! i understand were everyone else is coming from but your daughter should be old enough to not be stupid and get her self pregnant lets face it that could happen anywere any time not just cause you let them share a room !!

Jessica - posted on 11/09/2009

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this because no matter what you do you're taking a risk. On one hand you say no and she hates you moves out and tries to do it on her own because she feels you betrayed her somehow. On the other, you let him move in and have to deal with the fact that they are having sex under your roof and ultimately it's another person for YOU to take care of!



When I was 16 my mom let my boyfriend move in with us in my room and everything. For us it wasn't a horrible thing. It really brought all of us closer and my mom became my best friend and the one person I knew no matter what I could turn to. Looking back though, we were very lucky that the guy I was in a relationship with was so mature. He always helped around the house, with bills, and very quickly was a part of our family.



So more than anything just be VERY aware of the kind of person you are inviting into your house. Good luck!!!