Should i stay or be single?

Chelsie - posted on 04/01/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

23

22

2

im 20 yrs old and have been with my partner for 4 1/2 years, my daughter is only 18months.thru the 1st 6 months we were great, got on so well and were really good together. then i started having terrible panick attacks and he was great, for 2 years he helped me. his mother is insane and has caused me so much grief she sent me to a counsellor twice and she is now not allowed to see my child and i actually moved. he was like his mother parnter, he looked after her kids and brought her everything, then he moved out with me nd i refused to look after his siblings coz they are horrible. eventually i got pregnant after i was told i was infertile (i wasnt trying to fall pregnant) i broke up with him b4 i knew nd got bak with im coz i felt like i couldnt leave for some reason then found out i was havin his baby. difficult pregnancy and labour with seizures and morning sickness, lots of abuse from him (verbal not physical) and i split with him 2 times whilst pregnant. had baby, and by then we were bak together, then he left me when i told him his mother wasnt havin anything to do with my child coz she really is insane. then after a while he kinda came to grip with it, we sorted out a visitn plan for his mother (once a months for half an hour, she had to be sober of drugs nd alcohol nd not smell of ciggies nd also control her own kids) she didnt keep her end of the bargan so i completely banned her and she tried to take me to court but i within 24 hours of recieving the notic in the mail i moved towns and left "him" at the old location. he eventually woke up and sed he was moving to where i lived and wanted to try and make it work. we moved out of my siblings and got our own house. we were living together for about 2 months and he started ahving mood swings and abusing me, i assumed it was coz he was withdrawling from pot. turns out he still smokes it every now and again. then after we had lived together for about 3 months his sister broke up with her bf nd moved in with us. she is really good company and good to have a female i get along with in the house. however im suss she is reporting bak to her mother who i have banned form my kids life at this point. also i have gone on strike when it comes to house cleaning coz theyr all pigs and the hosue is constantly trashed no matter how much i try and keep it clean. when it is my childs mess i can cope but when it is also another 2 ppls over 23 thats when its jsut stupid. lately he has been making snide remarks and being really hurtful and rude in public and is worse when we are at home. wheni confront him about it he abuses me and tells me that it is all my fault and that i am mental and need help. he never owns up to what he does and has lately been putting me into tears all the time and iv had a gut ful. today we had a huge argument in a local department store. i just wanted to show him something and while we were walking into the shop he started rudely commenting that no man would ever put up with al of my bullshit. keep in mins that at every chance he gets he calls me a c*%t so as he was a busing me i turned around and said why are u treating me like this, i dont care what u say but lately you have just been a complete c*%t. he didnt like, that and went totally mental at me abusing e all the way to the car. it was quiet driving home but once we got out he started yelling at me so loudly the whole neighbour hood could hear and i was so ashamed coz i am the new avon lady and have to deal iwht these people. he got so angry i could see it in his eyes and was just w8ing for him to slap me or something. in compariseon to our old life, this is mild i used to get very physical to try and defend myslelf. i moved towns without him and was forced to grow up really quickly but he still yells at me that i need to grow up and that there is something wrong with me and i am such a child. in my opinion he needs to grow up. i am a 20 yr old girl who is stuck at home (no license yet coz of medical problems) raising his daughter nd cleaning up after his family. yeah some nights i couldnt be stuffed cooking but i would probably have more energy if he took her one morning a week so i could sleep in and be abit refreshed considering he sleeps in till about 11 every morning. he spends money on alcohol and ciggies and other stuff. but if i buy a dress and some new shoes for like $60 i will hear about it for then next yr about how i spend all the money. and u know what he was dong at my age? he was drunk all the time, somking pot with his mother and was always at the pubs with his mates. thats immature if u aske me. im not being a sook i just want to know what u think. i will try and giv feedback to your help as much as i can. thank you

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

2 Comments

View replies by

Tamara - posted on 04/01/2010

30

36

0

ok all i'm gonna say is, in a way i've been in this type of situation, and to be honest you will do a bloody better job as a single parent then in a conpletly destructive relationship. yes ok you love him but does he really love you back? and how much could you say he respects you? cos respect is a really big part of a relationship, and it doesn't sound like he does at all, sweetie i honestly would leave and start afresh and soon enough you will find someone who treats you right not wrong.

Chelsie - posted on 04/01/2010

23

22

2

Oh and i would really like to stay with him coz i love him heaps and we bothe grew up with single mothers and neither of us want our child to have that. plus i still love him coz i know how awesum and loving he can be. i just want to eradicate this arsehole side

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms