Should I stop potty training and try again later?

Alicia - posted on 07/27/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I'm frustrated and confused. Our oldest trained when he was almost 3, he's a very A type personality though so once he decided he was ready there was no holding him back, and no turning back.

Then came #2... He's 38 months old and is due to start pre-kindergarten September 1st (today is July 27th) due to a severe speech & language delay. (that's how they do it in Canada) Now, I'm trying to get him potty trained before then as those are the rules. He will go pee every time I put him on the potty ( I set a timer and take him every 45 minutes) but will not go into the bathroom on his own. I have both potty chairs and little potty seats that go on the big potty in each bathroom.

First we tried Pull ups, then I thought maybe they were too confusing because it's too much like a diaper so we put on big boy underpants but it doesn't matter what I do he'll just go in his pants, or on the floor if I leave him naked, thank goodness for hardwood floors! If I ask where his poop and/or pee goes he'll say the potty; however, I'm now starting to wonder if he actually knows/understands when he has to poop or pee. Am I wrong to continue training him? Is he just playing me or could this be another developmental delay? Should I back off and keep him home another year, which would be a really bad idea because he'll get soooo much help from the school in terms speech & language help or keep plugging away (which is frustrating for both of us) and get him trained before September?

ps: Cognition is not the problem,our doctor just saw him and told me that he understands complex questions & requests. HELP!

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Jennifer - posted on 07/27/2011

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It may be that he is afraid of the bathroom. My 3rd child was. I brought his potty chair out to a spot just inside the kitchen (living room is carpet, so didn't want it in there), so he could see in the living room and kitchen. That really helped, but the thing that got him to care about not having accidents, was that I got a reward if I had to clean up his accidents. I would always give him 1 piece of fruit snack (his favorite candy) every time he peed in the potty, but if I had to clean him and the floor from an accident, I got to eat a fruit snack. He really didn't want me eating any of his fruit snacks, so he started caring. I think I only ever got to eat 1 fruit snack before he was completely potty trained.

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