Should we circumsize our son?

Chelsey - posted on 02/16/2009

I don't think that sexual pleasure should be taken into too much consideration really. My son was circumsised. m grandfather had an emergency one at age 40! that I think is far more painful and embarassing. I also workrd at a nursing home as an aide and from what i saw there I was determined to get my sons done.

Crystal - posted on 02/16/2009

Jenna you are lucky if the doctor used anesthesia on your sons, because most doctors do not.

Both my boys received nothing but tylenol for pain afterwards and received no anesthesia during, as it is not common practice too.

I don't understand why you wouldn't want to help your young children with hygiene, you are their mother and that IS your job....young children aren't always capable of having good hygiene until 6-7 years old. My 4 1/2 year old still needs me to wipe his butt because he cannot possibly get all the poop off himself and I don't want him getting infection by allowing him to do it himself, just like I also help him in his baths/showers because he doesn't have the ability to make sure everything is clean yet. I'll do this until he can show me he is capable of doing it all himself. That's what you're supposed to do, I'm sorry that you feel inconvenienced by it.

Jenna - posted on 02/16/2009

And I wanted to add that I really don't care about their futue sexual pleasure, I think that's a very silly reason to base the decision on.  Life is not all about sex and sexual pleasure and I don't want my boys growing up thinking it is.

Jenna - posted on 02/16/2009

I have 3 sons and they are all circumcized and my husband was the one who encouraged it.  The biggest reasons people give for not doing it are that it doesn't make any differences healthwise and it causes the baby pain.  My boys were all circumcized by different doctors, having been born in 3 different places, and the only one who cried at all was my oldest because he didn't like being strapped down.  But they were all given anasthesia, and they healed from it quickly.  I personally dont see how people can say that "all you have to do is teach your boy the proper way to clean it" because I have a very hard time just getting them to wash their hands before dinner without having to actually march them into the bathroom and turn the water on for them, wipe their own butts when they use the toilet (my oldest was almost 5 before he FINALLY stopped asking for help with this because I absolutely REFUSED to help), and any other forms of personal hygiene without standing over them and practically doing it for them.  So I don't know how these other moms get their 2-1/2 year old potty trained sons to handle that, they must do it for them, and I wouldn't want to.

My own personal opinion.  And I don't think any of my boys are any worse off than if they had remained intact.  They'll never know a difference.

Cheryl - posted on 02/16/2009

In regards to sexual benefits, I watched a PBS special about circumcision and it said the uncircumcised male would have greater sexual pleasure because of the nerves in the foreskin. I can't remember exactly how many nerves are present since I watched this about 8 years ago, but I remembered being surprised at the number. That is another reason I decided against circumcision. And my son will thank me one day, I'm sure! :-)

Hayley - posted on 02/16/2009

How does it have sexual benefits? I had an ex boyfriend who was circumsised when he was a baby ( his mum thought it would be easier) Because it was exposed all the time it was hardly sensitive at all and he had problems climaxing. He told me that it was horribly embarrasing for him and that his mother , being a woman could not have possibly understood how her decision to have his foreskin removed had affected him in such a way. Im not saying that this is the case everytime, but I do think maybe you should put your question to Fathers/Men instead of women simply because they would know what they were talking about.

Pam - posted on 02/15/2009

That was a concern for me as well when I was pregnant with my son. It is a tough decision to make especially when some fathers feel their sons should 'match'. My partner and I asked questions to the public health nurse conducting a prenatal class we attended. I realized that the possibility of health issues would infact increase with babies who are circumsized, when considering the possibility of infection when healing. However there is also the possibility of complications later in life. I think it is mainly important to learn how to properly keep it clean and teach boys how to properly clean themselves. So ultimately I left the decision up to his father, and we decided not to circumsize. I fully supported the decision. Even when friends and family questioned our decision. Because there may be people in your life who will advise you one way or another. In the end, he's your son and the decision is a family decision. There is lots of information out there to answer any health questions you may have, so you can make the best decision for your son.

Kimberly - posted on 02/15/2009

I had my son circumsized.  My reasons were fairly simple.  It's easier to keep clean, and from what I've been told it has sexual benefits when he's married.  But it's a personal choice and others will feel strongly against it.

Jolene - posted on 02/15/2009

I don't have a son, but if I did I would not have this done. As long as you make sure it is cleaned properly, and teach him how to do so when he gets older it should be no problem. The way I see it...they were born with it for a reason!

Mindy - posted on 02/15/2009

It is a personal decision.  We did not circumcise our son.  If you practice good hygiene, you will have no problems.  We feel if you are born with it, that is how you are supposed to be.  I would be more afraid of a complication from the surgery than from leaving your son the way he was born.  Our pediatrician comments all the time on how happy she is to see so many more people choosing to not circumcise their sons.  Speak with your pediatrician and see what they say.

Crystal - posted on 02/15/2009

I circumsized my boys and I would suggest against it. My youngest had to have a phaloplasty at 8 months of age because they screwed his up. If we have any more boys they will not be circumsized.

Carolyn - posted on 02/15/2009

Everyone has given excellent advice.

I would just like to add that in the vast, vast majority of cases, circumcision is purely an ideological or cultural process i.e. there is no valid medical reason for circumcision. Even depending on your religious orientation (if you have one), there are reasons for and against circumcision (I'm Catholic, and there's a currently a very vocal anti-circumcision movement arguing that circumcision, unless medically indicated, is an unnessecary amputation [prohibited by Church law], and that it is contrary to several teachings by St. Paul the Apostle stating that baptism has replaced circumcision).

However, you need to do what you are most comfortable with. In the end, you will choose what is best for you and your family. :)

Hayley - posted on 02/15/2009

Unless there is a problem and it needs to be removed......then it should be left alone. Boys are born with a foreskin after all.

Bethany - posted on 02/15/2009

Hi Maryann. That seems to be a difficult decision these days. The biggest con that people seem to think of is that it's unnecessary and only causes your son pain.

I don't have a son yet, but he will be circumsized if I ever do. My reason is based on a study done several years ago, about men in war (in Vietnam, I believe it was). Anyway, the mortality rate for uncircumsized men was substantially higher than that for circumsized men, because the uncircumsized men kept getting infections due to unsanitary conditions.

In a developed country, there really is no difference. But, if my son ever went to war, or became a missionary, or was in a place where it was difficult for him to keep clean, he would be safer if he was circumsized.

However, if you're concerned about his safety during the procedure, I would highly suggest NOT getting it done at the hospital just after delivery. Doctors tend to make "mistakes," and have severely damaged or actually castrated baby boys. I'm not Jewish, but a Jewish mohel would be the safest way to go. Their job is to circumsize, and that's pretty much all they do. And, they'll do it on the 8th(ish) day after birth, when the bleeding and pain is at the lowest.

Anyway, those are my reasons to circumsize and not get it done at the hospital. :) Congrats on your baby boy!

Loren - posted on 02/15/2009

Hello Maryann,

There are many different schools of thought on the subject both from the male and female perspective.  I have one son and chose to have him circumsized; however, my son and daughter-in-law chose not to have my grandson done.

The reason that I had my son done was because I believed that it was a healthier decision to do so.  I felt that it would be far simpler to keep the penis clean and make it easier for my son to keep it clean as he became older and more independant.  I still believe this to be so as I personally find it difficult and uncomfortable for both myself and my grandson when I change his diapers.

You will hear many different stories and opinions and I am sure that they will all conflict making the decision that much harder; however, ultimately the decision is yours to make.  The best thing to do is to make sure you have as much information on the procedure as you can so that you can make an informed decision.  I do think it is important to let you know that despite the pain the baby experiences at the time of the procedure.....let me assure you that if the child decides later in life to have it done it is a much, much, much more painful recovery as for some reason the older you get I find the longer it takes a person to recover from any form of surgery, then again...maybe it's just me.

I hope this gives some help and I wish you all the best.

God Bless you both

Caramiaplus3

Nikki - posted on 02/15/2009

It really is a personal decision, but one of my sons was circumcised, but it wasn't done effectively because he was so small. Well, I wasn't going to worry about it, but he himself started to notice he was "different". I told him he was fine and instructed him on what he needed to do to clean himself. Well, one day when he was about 5 he came to me and said, "Mommy can you fix this?" LOL That was enough for me to know that it was going to be an issue later. So, we got it taken care of during a surgery that he had to have done on his bladder a few months later. And, I saw his confidence level go up. He wasn't afraid to use the bathroom in front of his brothers or at school anymore. He literally use to hold it as long as he could.

Cheryl - posted on 02/15/2009

I'm no physician, but quite frankly I don't see the need to circumcise. I have two boys and I did not circumcise either one of them. Prior to their birth I sought advice from close male friends and family members who were also uncircumcised. Each one repeatedly offered the same advice-DON"T do it! They all said that if you teach your child to clean themselves properly it's unlikely they would get any infections. My oldest son is seven and he has never had a problem resulting from not being circumcised. I just have to constantly remind him to pull pack the foreskin when using the bathroom. Ultimately it's your choice to make regardless of the opinions of others. Circumcised or not, he'll love you either way. And if you choose not to he can do it later on in life. I had a friend who did that too but it was quite painful.

Wendy - posted on 02/15/2009

I think it is a personal decision that only you and your family can make. We had our son circumsized because my husband is and I didn't want my son thinking he was "different".

My cousin was not circumsized. Just as long as you teach your son how to clean himself if he is not circumsized, it will not become a health issue.

Kerri - posted on 02/15/2009

You are going to hear both pros and cons for circumcision. 

I had 3 brothers, none of which were no circumcised at birth.  However, when they hit puberty, they started having problems.  They also had frequent infections as children.  But every male is different.  It all depends on how careful they are and the exact anatomy of their genitalia.  Long story short - each brother went through surgical procedures as adult men to have the circumcision and it was excrutiating for them.  My oldest brother decided to have the circumcision because he was having significant problems during intercourse with his wife.  I also have a male friend who was not circumcised at birth and he had significant problems as a young boy.  He had several procedures as a child to fix problems with foreskin, etc. and his wife has frequent urinary tract infections which her gynecologist correlates to him not being circumcised. 

I do have friends who did not get their sons circumcised and they have had no problems.  I had my son circumcised at birth because of the problems I had seen my brothers deal with.