silent miscarriage at 11 weeks

Ashley - posted on 12/01/2012

I went through a miscarriage and had to have a D&C too. I ended up having a blighted ovum after 13 weeks of pregnancy. Don't ever blame yourself for the loss. It isn't your fault. Keep in mind that over 60-80% of women go on to carry a healthy full term baby after a miscarriage. It is painful and having family and friends to talk to really helps. Sites like this help a lot too. Don't bottle it up. Let yourself deal with the grief and pain and you will be ok... Good Luck when you try again. I got pregnant 2 months after my D&C and I am now 38 weeks along with a healthy baby boy.

Kristin - posted on 11/28/2012

Well I wish you the best stay positive and if its meant to be it will be

Veronica - posted on 11/28/2012

thank you, i cant adopt, not at my age, agencies prefer younger couples, but I am trying again, hopefully everything will work out this time.

Kristin - posted on 11/22/2012

I am very sorry for your loss. I myself have never gone through a miscarriage but one of my gf was pregnant with twins and one died and assimilated into the other. She did wind up having a healthy baby. My other gf had 4 miscarriages in a row and they were sad because one miscarriage she was 6 months pregnant and had to carry the dead child within her for a few months and got through induced labor. Her next pregnancncy she was pregnant with twins and she carried them full term, unfortunately both babies died within an hour of being born, She finally did have one healthy child who is their greatest blessing. No one knows why miscarriages or stillborns happen, I truly believe that it is Gods way of telling us that certain tings are not meant to be at that time. I know it is difficult but you can not blame yourself or play the what if games, everything happens for a reason and have faith that if you are meant to have another child you will.. Keep in mind having a baby over the age of 36 is extremely risky and not usually something the doctors urge a person to do. I had my first son at 16 and thought he was a stillborn but he wasnt than i had my other son 9 years later and i wanted a daughter and 5 years after my middle child was born i had my darling daughter. SO keep trying and having faith and stay positive. Everything happens for a reason and we may not understand the reasons but God had a master plan for us all. Have faith that if God wants you to have another child than he will give you one. Another option for you is to maybe think about adopting a baby. I give you a ton of kudos for wanting a baby at 43, i had a hard enough time having my last baby at age 31 lol and at 43 i think i will have grandchildren that i will love to death. Good luck to you and i will keep you in my prayers

Veronica - posted on 11/12/2012

I just went in for more blood work to see if my HCG levels have gone down yet....they were at a 7 last week.....something I just thought about that is troubling me, I was having my HCG levels tested every week when I was pregnant & every week they would rise within normal limits.....but why when I had my ultrasound they said the baby had passed at least 2 weeks prior? how can a baby die with still rising HCG??? he/she had a strong heart beat at 7 weeks but 11 weeks he/she was already passed away.....none of this is making any sense to me & the more I think about it the more frustrated I become.....I keep going over it in my mind thinking I should of demanded another US before the D & C and maybe a vaginal US wouldve shown better??? they said they couldnt even see a baby but they did before? the baby cant just disappear???

Samantha - posted on 11/01/2012

im sorry for your loss, i had 3 miscarriages before i had my second child i lost one at 6 weeks, 10 weeks which i gave birth too myself at home and 12 weeks i had to have that one removed i never fought id eva have anotha one but i did and i think that all the ones i lost is in the one ive got now i never fought id get over them but my exc helped me abit but didnt really understand my pain so i spoke to other wumen who went threw the same thing to help me cope its been a few years now i still think of them all the time but im moving on for my kids sake and know deep dwn there with me foreva now cus of my second child, u will have more kids but ull never forget them so dnt feel bad for moving on abit xx good lookx

Keli - posted on 10/30/2012

so sorry for your Loss. emotions are normal... Pregnancy is the most nerve racking thing. if it's meant too be it will carry on,i know dozens of people who had miscarraiges and end up having helthy pregnancies after.just try and have faith and take it one day at a time!

Rachel - posted on 10/30/2012

So sorry for your loss.

I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It was so hard and I was scared with the three other pregnancies I had after, that it would happen again but it didn't and all three of my babies were born healthy.

I doubt the miscarriage had anything to do with you or anything you did. Sometimes, they just happen and we don't know why.

Christina - posted on 10/30/2012

I had the same thing at 11 weeks as well. I do understand the emotional roller-coaster you are on. It is just one of those things that happen, I am sorry to say. I think it is something like 25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. You do the best you can to morn and try again if you are up to it. That one was my second miscarriage and the next pregnancy resulted in my beautiful 8 year old boy, good luck!!!

Kim - posted on 10/29/2012

With my first child, I was 12 weeks pregnant, but my baby's heart stopped beating somewhere around 8 weeks, and had to have a DNC. I remember thinking, if it was meant for me to lose my child, why couldn't I have lost my child naturally? I still struggle with the closure of not seeing my child, but I did contact my doctors office and asked them to send me a copy of the last ultrasound I had of my child, which they did. It's been 2 years since my little angel passed, and now, I am blessed to have a gorgeous 14 month old daughter .



Six years prior to my child passing, my nephew passed the day before he was scheduled to be born. He was one of the most beautiful babies I have ever laid my eyes on. We have no clue as to why he passed.



I believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and though we don't always understand what the reason is, there is a meaning behind it all. Even though we aren't able to physically hold and love our children does not mean that we don't. We were meant to love the children we lost, and to keep them in our hearts forever. Those two tiny life's still mean the world to me, and they have been such a blessing in my life. Not a day goes by that I don't think of them, and every night before I go to sleep, I blow each of them a kiss and tell them how much I love them.



I wish you the best of luck with your recovery. If you ever need a friend to talk to, please feel free to message me. Just remember, you are never alone.



Kim

Angela - posted on 10/27/2012

maybe wait 2 cycles...a compromise, just incase it was due to infection. i went nuts and waited anywhere between 2-5 years between mine..lol. like i said i was really scared it would happen again. (not helped by the 1st 2 asking where's the baby, why did it die...etc) we never told anyone until i was 6 months gone with Charlie, just to make sure. shows how much i saw people and how little i did as i start noticeably showing from 4 months.

i truly wish you the best on trying again, make sure the worst of your grieving is over, the less stress you have the best it will be for you and baby! i don't pray, but you have the closest thing from me. good luck honey.

Veronica - posted on 10/27/2012

Thank You very much! I just went to the Doctors yesterday, he did blood work to see if my hormones went down yet? he said they should be but might not be normal yet.....not sure how long that takes? He said once I have a period I can try to conceive then, he usually recommends waiting 3 months but he says most couple dont listen and conceive just fine....so Im thinking of just waiting the one cycle. he put me on more antibiotics since I had some pain & is worried about possible infection, I get re-checked on the 5th....praying all is well!

Angela - posted on 10/27/2012

my condolences for your loss, i understand it hurts just as much as it would if you had been further on.

i miscarried twice after my 1st, 2 children, they both ended about the same time as yours did. i got my emotional support from giving my bf emotional support, it isn't his body, but they were his babies too and he hurt just as much as i did. my 5th pregnancy wen't well, even though it felt just the same as it had with babies 3 and 4, i was so scared through my 5th pregnancy that i did as little as possible, stressed out about only the pregnancy itself, now i have such a intelligent little man from it. sometimes the baby has no chance, be it through illness or incompatibility with your womb. it will never be your fault, nor the babies...there will be very little (unless you live the life of a drunken, drugged up, adrenaline and pain, junkie) you can do to stop it from happening again, and you are going to be scared to be pregnant again, but if it is mean't to be...it will be. you can get through it...i'm proof of that honey. good luck.

Beth - posted on 10/21/2012

My one and only miscarriage, after I had my first, normal and healthy son, was very similar to this. I went in for my first appointment at 10 weeks, and the fetus had no heartbeat and was only measuring 8 weeks. They assured me it was the far too common first trimester miscarriage, just sometimes our bodies know to get things moving and sometimes they don't. I was given the option of taking medication to expel the tissue or to have a D&C and I opted for the meds. Nine months later I was pregnant again and had a happy healthy baby boy. Miscarriages sadly are very common, I'm sure you will be able to go on to have a baby. So sorry to hear of your loss, and best wishes for the future.

Sandra - posted on 10/21/2012

I'm so sorry to hear about your baby when I was 17 I got pregnant and I was forced to get an abortion I was 12weeks and all I could do is think about it and then I got pregnant a few months later didn't tell anyone but my man ofcourse.after my son was born I keep thinking what it would have been like if I got to keep the other one

Veronica - posted on 10/19/2012

Lisa, Thank You! Ive had two miscarriages, 1 at 5 weeks then this last one which was like 2 since I lost the first twin early on then the other at 11 weeks. I really want to try again, the waiting is like forever, I wish I could just try now but I want to make sure Im healthy first. Im so glad you had a baby, its the most wonderful blessing in the world. sorry for all you had to go through but knowing that the end result was your precious bundle of joy gives me hope that I will too have another one again, Thank You so much for sharing! having people who have had similar experiences as me helps me to know that Im not alone & that there is hope, which I really felt hopeless and so depressed that I thought I did something wrong and I needed the answers to help me cope. my friends and family told me this was a sign to not have anymore & that the next time could be worse, but now reading so many stories on here I do believe there is hope, Thank You all so much!

Lisa - posted on 10/19/2012

I m/c at 8 weeks with my first, than had dd1, after dd1 had a molar pregnancy which we found out at 13 weeks, so instead of a featus we had a bunch of tumors, had to wait a yr be4 trying incase it grows back, tried again as soon as the 12 mths was up and fell pregnanct straight away, had an ulstrasound at 9 weeks to find 2 heartbeats, went for 12 week ultrasound and found we lost 1 at 11 weeks. On the 8/8 gave birth to the other twin and very greatful to have her in my arms. Miscarridges are common espcially with multiple pregnancies and there is nothing anyone can do to prevent them. They do hurt emotionally and make pregnancy a stressful time but the end result makes it all worth it and the moment u finally get to hold ur bundle of joy takes all ur worries away. good luck with ttc again and wish u all the best

Veronica - posted on 10/16/2012

Thank You Shelly...I am going to try again but I will wait to recover first, just very nervous.

Shelly - posted on 10/16/2012

Miscarriages are far more common than people realize. I've heard statistics that say that as many as half of all conceptions fail. Chances are, with the majority of these, the parents didn't even realize that there was a pregnancy. There is usually nothing that you could have done differently to have a different outcome. And having one miscarriage apparently has no increased risk of having another one. I had a very early miscarriage; my period was a week late, so I went in to my doctor, who confirmed a pregnancy. Three days later I miscarried; it was not really different from a normal period. If I had waited a few more days before seeing my doctor, I would never have even known. And then, two weeks later, without intending to, I conceived again, and my son was born 9 months later. It left me with a very strong feeling that God meant for him to be. If the first pregnancy had been normal, I would never have had my son.

Jo - posted on 10/15/2012

WHEN I HAD MY MISCARRIAGE, I ASKED MY DOCTOR WHAT CAUSES MISCARRIAGES.



i WAS TOLD THAT A MISCAARIAGE HAPPENS WHEN THERE IS OMETHING WRONG WITH THE BABY, WHEN THE SPERM AND EGG DON'T FERTILISE PROPERLY.



FIND OUT FROM YOUR DOCTOR AND SEE WHAT HE/SHE HAS TO SAY.



IT IS THEONLY WAY YOU'LL COME TO TERMS WILL IT.



I HOPE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HELP YOU IN SOME WAY.

Veronica - posted on 10/15/2012

Comis, at first I was offered the pill but then they said there was just too much inside that I would be high risk for hemorrhage & that the pain would be intense, so I choose the D & C since it seemed the Doctor kept pushing for it. I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I am thinking of waiting for my cycle to return then trying again....very frightened though!

Veronica - posted on 10/15/2012

at Christina, I also had a miscarriage at 5 weeks, had it at home & the doctor tried to call it a chemical pregnancy, but then after that I had my son, but then I tried once more & then this happens....I thought my first miscarriage being so early was just "one of those things" but then to have a second one and further along really scared me especially since we saw a heartbeat at 7 weeks, Im 43 yrs old & wondering if my age has something to do with it? my family keeps telling me its a sign to quit, but of course I dont want to hear that......trying to make sense of it all???

Veronica - posted on 10/14/2012

Holly, Thank You so much!!!

Holly - posted on 10/14/2012

It's very normal sadly. Sadly twins makes it even more likely to have a early miscarriage. I'm so sorry it happened. It's called a missed miscarriage and I don't know the statistic but from all the support groups I've been to I'd say that missed miscarriages are about half of what people are dealing with. Usually they resolve without a D & C but in my experience that might take weeks. It's just easier to get the D & C plus there is a risk of infection till you pass the baby so doctors usually insist you get a D & C rather than wait for your body to realize it's a missed miscarriage and start the process.



That said beings miscarriages in general are extremely common. Depending on which source you are reading it's between 1 in 3 or 1 in 4 pregnancies end this way. Typically it was something wrong with the fetus from chromosomal abnormalities all the way to poor implantation. The odds of it being a problem with you especially if you've already had babies is greatly decreased.



I'm really sorry this happened to you. You have to remember NOTHING you did caused this. Nothing you could have done would have stopped this. I'd follow my doctors advice then try again when you are both physically and emotionally ready. I've had 5 miscarriages but also 3 live births. I can tell you that every pregnancy after a miscarriage is hard and the more time between pregnancies and miscarriages the less stressful and upset you are though. Time is the only thing I've found that helps and also support groups can be wonderful. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

COMIS - posted on 10/14/2012

I am so sorry for your loss. I too just recently miscarried. The baby passed at 10 weeks 5 days and I had to take the cytotec pill to expell everything. Ended up bleeding heavily and went to the ER just to make sure things were okay. I thankfully didn't need a blood transfusion and I got to go home. Now am just taking weekly blood tests to make sure my hormones are going down. My husband and I have been surprised by how emotional this has been. Women don't really talk about their miscarriages so we feel like we're learning a whole different side to pregnancy that is very sad. I too am scared to try again. We will definitely wait the 2 months the doctor recommended but I'm not sure I will even be ready after 2 months. I think it's normal to be scared, though, but you won't know why you miscarried unless you had tests done. Sometimes it is just the body doing "it's job." We also have a healthy, almost 2 year old son, so we know we can conceive and carry full-term and that's what we've chosen to focus on. If it happens again, we will definitely get tests done and I recommend that for you as well. Praying for you and know you are not alone!

Christina - posted on 10/14/2012

i had a miscarriage at 5 and a half weeks it was hard to deal with but ive also had 3 healthy babies since then with no compliciations withthe exception of my last one who was 6 wks early

Veronica - posted on 10/13/2012

thanks Tanya, I also dont want to wait three months either, I actually want to try again right away! im just so scared to...but it makes me feel better knowing it worked out for you, Thank You!...Thank You to everyone, your kind words help me alot!

Tanya - posted on 10/13/2012

Im very sorry for the loss of your little angel. I would like to share my story with you in hopes that it will give you comfort and hope. In 2011 we got pregnant. It was our first and we wereexcited. I felt great and at 8 weeks i started slightly bleeding i went to doctor and he told i was miscarrying! After bleeding whole night i miscarried our little angel. It was the most difficult time for us. Next morning at the hospital ultra sound showed nothing there. My doctor told me we gotta wait 3 months and can try again. I was bleeding for a week after. 10 days past and no blood at all. I felt on physicly but not emotionally. We wanted baby so bad. I said you know what im not going to listen to my doctor because i will listen to my body and mind which told me that i am ready ! I remember it was two weeks past my miscarriage and i had follow up with my obgyn i went in and told him that i think im pregnant and check me. He told me its ok sweetie its too soon those are probably just hormones after the first. I got pisses and left the room found new good obgyn and immidiatly made an aptmnt. And tada!! My hwart was right i was preggo!! New doc was worried that it was soon we did all tests possible to make sure i am ok. 4 months of horrible morning sickness and 9 months later beautiful healthy 8.15lb baby girl. Dont give up! Next time evrything will be ok:)

Veronica - posted on 10/13/2012

Thank You! I will try again I think after the new year & I pray everything works out this time, if not I dont think I want to go through this again, so this will be it, praying for a healthy baby!

Jamilah - posted on 10/12/2012

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby, I pray that you find comfort with loved ones and peace of mind with a trusted physician. Best of luck

Michelle - posted on 10/12/2012

My first pregnancy was the same. I was supposed to be 11 weeks but the amniotic sac was only the size of a 7 week gestation and they couldn't find the fetus. I had a D&C and ended up pregnant again 4 months later. I was so scared that it would happen again but I went on to have 3 healthy babies.



Most of the time they don't know why a miscarriage happens.

Veronica - posted on 10/12/2012

Im glad I found this site to be able to talk about this because I really have no-one to talk to, so thank you for listening.

Veronica - posted on 10/12/2012

Thank you all very much, I really want to try again, maybe after the new year, but I am afraid of course of going through this. I am waiting for the test results on the fetus for congenital defects, praying it was just one of those things and the doctor will tell me I should be fine....this is just so scary & depressing!

Tracy - posted on 10/12/2012

I've never had a miscarriage, but a few of my friends have (some have had more than ANYONE should ever go through). What I have learned from them is that you almost never know WHY it happens. It just does. A friend of mine, 17 years later, still blames herself for being in a hot tub before she knew she was pregnant. But that's just her blaming herself and not fact. I can only imagine how bad the not knowing part is. My heart is with you. This will always be with you, but try not to analyze what could have gone wrong (unless you get medical information to the contrary). It is what it is and finding fault won't help anything. That's the best advice I can give you.

Carrie - posted on 10/12/2012

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think not everybody can understand the pain that a woman goes through after a miscarriage. I, too, lost a baby. I also had to go through the DNC. I think I would have never recovered the loss of a child without the help of my BF. He was very caring to me and consoled me in my grief even though he was also very sad about the miscarriage. It was after 2 years that I got pregnant again. I still think that it was the baby I lost, but now "returned" to me at the right time. I hope you can soon accept the loss and move forward. God has plans for everyone and when the right time comes, He will give you children again.

Jessica - posted on 10/12/2012

I first pg was like this, the only symptoms I had were pretty much a lack of pg symptoms, never even got to see the heartbeat. Had to induce labor w/ D&C. And my body did not resume its natural cycle on its own, had to jump start it w/ BC.

It took me a few years to get pg again, but I was holding on to a lot of emotional baggage. As soon as I let that go I became pg w/ DD1. I now have two beautiful little girls. Ages 5 & 20 mo.