So ALONE!

Tanysha - posted on 11/02/2012

I understand where u are coming from I am always stuck in my house if I ain't work and I am starting to hate coming home when I am at work because it's never nothing to do. I have two boys and a puppy. I feel as though my life is just work and home and everybody else's happiness.

Kim - posted on 10/30/2012

I understand where everyone is coming from. I became a SAHM 2 1/2 years ago with the adoption of our kids. Plus we were moving six states away from family and friends. If you haven't heard of it or tried it yet, check out The Mommies Network (themommiesnetwork.com). They saved my sanity after our move. They have 85 chapters around the US and have online forums for support and get togethers/play dates all the time. It takes time to meet and make new friends, just put yourself out there and keep trying.

Yelena - posted on 10/23/2012

I can relate very much with you ladies. Staying at home is very taxing! Very lonely. I have done it for seven years now. Is anyone near Marion, Indiana? I also have no family nearby and limited friends. Sometimes, I feel alone even when my husband is here. He constantly has more of an outside life than I do and I don't feel he sees it. It is discouraging. I am not new to this. But this year has been devastating to my soul. I miss my youth. I miss friends. I miss having someone to talk to.

Sharon - posted on 10/20/2012

I feel the same it help when I do events. I am the president of my block club I do monthly events it's hard cause I need a team. I am downtown Buffalo my next big event is Christmas Seniors Party and our children Holloween Party. You are welcome

Sarah - posted on 10/05/2012

I know exactly how you feel. My friends i had have all stopped talking to me or have moved. The people in my town are so snobby its rediculous. Like ill take my daughter for a walk and ill just say hi and they will completely ignore me. So i have literally noone to talk to what so ever. It feels like im going crazy. I do love being home with my daughter, she is my world but it would be so great for her to be able to socialize and me aswell.

Kimberly - posted on 09/29/2012

I am sorry you are lonely, I am in the same boat.

I am in Inverness Florida if anyone is near me and would like to get together for playdates or just to not be alone.



Kimberly (42) & Maddie (15 Months)

Central Florida

Shyann - posted on 09/29/2012

Where do you live ?

Patty - posted on 09/17/2012

anyone live in glen burnie, MD looking to make new friends and for my 2 girls to have some one to play with..

Reyna - posted on 09/17/2012

Check out MOPS. It stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. It is for moms with children birth to kindergarden age. They have groups all over. My family is relocating, so I have to leave my current group. However I have already made contact with the local MOPS group in our new town. Great group of women!

Dana - posted on 09/14/2012

I think all SAHM'S have been right where You are, its a transition that takes at least a year to settle into.

I was a Realtor working 60-70 hours a week my mom lived with us to help because my husband travels for work a.d is home 2 or 3 days a week. I didn't know my kids at all I look back now and think OMG I was a horrible motherem. Well one night my mom went into her room and had a stroke and unfortunately she didn't survive.

I was devastated!!!! I didn't think I could live through it #1 I lost my best friend and biggest fan #2 I had to actively raise my kids the sane kids I hardly knew.

it was a major shock!

Long story short, we sold our house and moved to a community where we knew no one. I spent the first year in a deep depression for the loss of my mom the loss of my career and the loss of income it was HARD but my kids were flourishing doing better in school making nicer friends and just being happier.

I guess I'm trying to say give it a little time, Rome wasn't built in a day.

I've made some great new friends just volunteering at the school and going to baseball practice. Keep a positive attitude and iitll get better.

Angelina - posted on 09/03/2012

I live in Ontario Oregon. If any of you are close message me and maybe we can get the kids together and make regular play dates.

Sara - posted on 09/02/2012

Check this post out. I think it will give you some ideas of what you can do.



http://www.circleofmoms.com/stay-at-home...

Helena - posted on 08/29/2012

I feel exactly the same way!!! Your not alone, where r u from?

Elizabeth - posted on 08/28/2012

I know the feeling! I do MOPS, but never get invited to do things out of the meetings. I'm so tired of sitting home with the kids and not interacting with other adults my age

Miranda - posted on 08/23/2012

yeah i get what you mean it sucks i need to get out

Patty - posted on 08/17/2012

anyone in the glen burnie, maryland area? would like to make new friends i got to girls 1year old and a 9 year old.. my fiancee is overseas :/

Princess - posted on 08/16/2012

i know just how you feel.....am about to lose my mind......

Sandy - posted on 08/15/2012

Angelina I understand what you are feeling like and have been in this situation many times in the past with my first baby. I had moved out of state and far away from my old friends and my family, (husbands idea). Try to find some sort of support group in your area, do as much research as you can in order to find groups of mother's. Is their a church group that you could attend? I don't know what your religious affiliation is or if you are affiliated with a religious group but churches who have playgroups do not care which church you go to. There may be exceptions to that but in general these groups are welcoming people. There is also a group in my area called MOPS or Mothers of Preschoolers and I believe they have regularly scheduled play dates. Try to get some information about these various groups online for your area. If for any reason you would prefer to spend some time away from your children maybe you could find someone to watch your kids during the day in order to get out of the house and have some time to reenergize yourself. If this is not possible financially then maybe you could suggest a child care co-op with another mother or a small group of mothers where each of you takes a turn watching one anothers kids while one of you gets out of the house for awhile. I know how claustrophobic being home alone all day with kids can be no matter how much you love your kids and enjoy being a full time mommy. There should be some way you can make a connection with other moms in either a play group or other arrangement. If the mother's in the other groups you attended act "snooty" and unfriendly then they are not the kind of people you want to be around anyway. Keep searching honey, you will find something, it's just a matter of doing some research. If for any reason you find yourself feeling depressed please seek out the help of a councilor to talk with and in addition to being a support they will also be able to suggest ways to alleviate your situation. What you are experiencing is very common and was even more common when I was a new mother because at that time there were no playgroups or groups such as MOPS. Try to have a cup of coffee with a friend every now and then even if you have no other choice sometimes other than to do this with your kids there. Stay connected. Hope tthis helps.

Jean - posted on 08/15/2012

I'm so sorry. I can relate. Most of my family lives a state away, and none of us have money to travel. The loneliness makes me crazy sometimes....

HappyMommy - posted on 08/14/2012

No not too much to ask for at all.... Some people are just stubborn and wake up on the wrong side of the bed.... Have u tried Gymboree or any tiger childrenss groups the moms there are usually looking for friends too

Jean - posted on 08/14/2012

I was 21 when I had my first, and the town I lived in had most moms at 35 having their one and only child.....we were really different in most common interests and views about life, and I never really did make friends. I still don't really have any. I wish I could be best friends w/ my spouse, but he would rather read sports articles or watch TV than have a meaningful conversation w/ me. I have a younger sister who has three young boys that I text with from time to time, which helps.....I don't know exactly what your personality is like, hopefully you fit better w/ folks than I do, but I am really odd, I don't like TV or movies- I don't watch it and I limit my kids to less than 2 hrs a day.... I like rock music, and I exercise an hour a day. I drink alcohol on occasion, am non religious, and I hate politics. I like reading, health, fitness, nutrition, being outdoors, I really fit better w/ kids than adults anyhow.....sometimes I get depressed cause I really do need adult interaction, but I try to just ignore it. Now that I am 31 and have five children, ages almost ten down to 21 months, I'm pretty busy, and that helps. I also learned how to do new things, like make bread from scratch, and I play lots of games like tag and uno with my kids. We go for lots of walks and bike rides.....being active has kept me sane, and getting on fb and reading my 'friends lives makes me kinda feel like I'm involved, but I don't really relate to anyone...... being on circle of moms can help too, things like reading posts like your and folks responses.....or sometimes that's just depressing. Depends on the subject matter..... :s. I'm really sorry you feel this way. I love being a stay at home mom, I always have, but I can relate to the loneliness, and no, i don't think wanting friendship is too much to ask.....

Victoria - posted on 08/05/2012

I hear that! I feel so alone too. And my friends that don't have kids, seriously do not understand. Even if they are stay-at-home military wives and have pets who they claim are their "children." F***. My 8 month old son's best friend is our friends dog and my best friend has become the xbox. :|

Lisa - posted on 07/24/2012

I know exactly how you feel; I"ve BEEN in your shoes; my daughter is 8 now ;but; when i had her i used to take her to the park also;{ i have no family nearby}; only my hubbys; next time your at the park try talking to one of the other moms; try for just small talk; even ask where-about they live; etc; one mom might suprise you & strike up a conversation; just put yourself there; even if it seems hard- plus; as your child grows- trust me it"ll go fast; you can exchange phone numbers with other moms; thats what i did; and i did end up making a few new friends; to this day she still has sleepovers or playdates with a few she met when she was 2; and 3. but some just faded away. just put youself out there- 1 nice mom may suprise you:) besides; i dont know the age of your child; but; when kindergarden starts; oh just wait- there WILL be friends coming out of the woodwork- really. good luck to you:).

Keri - posted on 07/22/2012

Sometimes just going somewhere helps. Take your kid(s) to the library, the park, if your mall has a play area, anywhere there would be other kids and parents. Once you see your kid(s) playing and getting along with other kids, watch to see what parents react, then strike up a conversation with them ("I see my son and yours are having a blast together on the swings!") If the kids seem sad to part ways, try to get contact information, or make a playdate to meet at the same place some other time. I think as long as YOU stay friendly and open and nonjudgemental about a parent's age, and don't make a big issue out of feeling ignored, it won't matter the age of the parent. It's true in today's world "strangers" are meant to be avoided at all costs, but that's how kids make friends, they talk to those "strangers". Adults should feel confident enough to talk to people they don't know either. Sometimes it's the only way to make a connection.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/21/2012

Ur response hit the nail on the head girl! Too bad we didn't live near each other , we could make our own mom group ;)

Gina - posted on 07/21/2012

I honestly don't think age or looking young has anything to do with it. Unfortunately I just feel that's the way society has become. Most people walk around avoiding each other and it's rare if they even make eye contact let alone greet others and smile. I tried attending a "Mommy and Me" group and decided not to return because it felt like the moms there where either cold and distant or had their own little clicks and didn't want to bother mingling with the rest of the moms. I have come to the conclusion that it's just a fact of life that as we get older we loose friends and it becomes tougher to gain new ones if your a SAHM. Most people who have "friends" have kept in touch with their old High School buddies or hang out with current co-workers, so if we are not working or have kept in touch with those old friends it's very unlikely that we'll make new ones.
So I don't have a solution I can think of, other than make an EXTRA effort to smile and start conversations with people at the park, library etc. and be honest and upfront about it, tell them that you are new in town and looking to start a "playgroup/meet up group" and would like their e-mail address so you can send them an invite. I know that I'm shy so I probably wouldn't say this to someone, but if someone said it to me I would be delighted to join them. So I guess we have to get over our shyness/ self conscious ways if we want to make friends.

Angelina - posted on 07/20/2012

Yea it does seem that like all the moms already have cliques and act all annoyed when I try to join a conversation. And i dont think age matters unless the moms act like the ones here do. They all have husbands and work and their own friends so they act like they dont have time and we are in different situations so we dont relate that well. Its just hard. And its not that I dont try cuz I do. It just never works out for me.

Julie - posted on 07/20/2012

I had the opposite problem. Most of the moms in the groups I joined are younger moms and seem to already have set up clicks. I would just say to keep trying and join more groups.

Krystel - posted on 07/18/2012

nope, ive done the same. infact what i have been trying to do is connect with former classmates of mine that have children and setting playdates. its easier because we are relatively the same age, and our children can play with each other. Unfortunately only one other mom and i committed to the group. However we take our kids to the park, the library, the pool. public places where they can play with other children as well, while we chat sometimes, and occasionally some other moms, (some older and younger) would join our conversations. But it is frustrating, wanting to get out there and socialize. No one likes to be cooped up forever, its kinda too dull.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/18/2012

I think she is just talking about being lonely which i can relate.I'm grateful being able to stay at home but its very lonely.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/18/2012

hey girl, im totally with ya on this. i have a 6 m old boy and am so depressed latley.i use to go on baby center but all those girls where bitches so i hope this place is better.i dont have much family support,my sisters live a hour away and my mom works like crazy and what has been pissing me the f off about her is that every single weekend she is doing something,ya,i get it,u have a life,but i have asked her if she could take beau(son) 1 night so i can rest..and she NEVER CAN,always busy,and i am starting to resent her for that,most people have family around to help,not us.my bf parents live in la,us sacrament,ca so its really only us all the time,my bff who has 2 kids,10 and 2,is mia.her man lost his job,they are broke but she hangs out with her other bff constantly and has no time for me,and her other bff buys her shit,lends her money,or will let her work the loans off by cleaning her house.sorry this is so long,but i feel alone,i dont know how to make new friends at 32,i know u said ur a young momma,but i dont think age matters too much(unless they act old fart pants),anyways,i thought when i had my baby,and staying at home,i thought its be fun,hanging out with my bff,but no,im alone daily,no one to hang out with,sad cuz my man works long hours,so,did u try mom groups? was it hard to meet new people? are the clique-ish and all that?i imaginge itd be weird/hard coming into a group where they all already know each other...ahhhhh,i dont know what to do either,thanks for letting me vent,sorry its so long honey! liz in ca

Kimberly - posted on 07/18/2012

I feel your pain. I am at home as well with my 1 year old. I moved here to Florida Last August. and still cannot find work. As a result, I had to sell my only vehicle to help support my daughter as I have no income. I did try to join the Mom's Club in my area.. I signed up via email and a few days later received a "decline" email. With no explanation as to why. I am 41 years old and I sit here day after day after day with my daughter. I love her but man I need some adult time.

Kimberly

Karianne - posted on 07/17/2012

REALLY??!! You are complaining????!!!! You really need to be grateful that you are in a situation where you are able to stay at home with your daughter. You never miss anything with her! Other people are not so lucky! My son is 5 and I am a single mother who HAS to work 40 hours a week. Try having to drop your child off when they are telling you they want to stay home with you. Enjoy every second with your daughter and be grateful. You are an adult go find something to do with her and if you go to the same kid areas (ie the park, library, community pool, church, etc) you will meet people. Maybe the other moms are looking at you like that because you are putting off a vibe. Go up and talk to them!!!!

Lorraine - posted on 07/14/2012

Okay maybe I should give u my number and we can meet up maybe for coffee with kids let Me^ know

Lorraine - posted on 07/14/2012

I'm from America just moved to Canada Mississauga had my 9 month old I'n this country don't have friends with kids here need to meet some mothers with kids so I can let my son hang out with other children so let's meet n greet

Silvia - posted on 07/14/2012

Hello friend!! Well we are two now, I become stay mom home 8 months ago when I lost my job, and is not been easy, it is nice to be at home but after a while I got tired and I felt like my life is going away doing nothing, I have two step sons, right now they out schoolso they here with me, we have only one car so I am stuck in the house while husband is working so that make it worse, so right now I have to be patience untill this situation get better, so if you need someone to talk to I am here or share any ideas!!!

Samantha - posted on 07/14/2012

I feel the exact same way. I'm 20 years old and pregnant with my second child. Many people give me the same looks so I just tend to stay at home. I too need some advice in the area :)

Corinne - posted on 07/14/2012

Sorry, not read all the replys, just had a thought. Could you take out an ad in your local newspaper? Say you're a SAHM looking for people for play dates etc and get them to send their details to the newspaper office. You could then invite a few people at a time to meet at the park or soft play place, get to know them that way?

Fran - posted on 07/13/2012

I agree with the previous poster about the library. They usually have story time, crafts & snacks 2 or 3 x's a week. I myself am an older Mom (45) of 2 young children. I seem to find just the opposite, that most Moms are much younger (in their 20's). Try the library. I look online and see what times each town around me has their activities. (and it's free too)! Also look into your parks & recreation dept. They usually have lots for younger children & their parents. My kids have done tumble tots, and the summer day camp. Don't be affraid to talk to other parents, you would be surprised in what you really do have in common. (young children). Good Luck!

Mallory - posted on 07/13/2012

It is really nice to know that I am not the only one that feels this way! Honestly I don't have much for suggestions, but I know how you feel!

Danyale - posted on 07/13/2012

Same here

Louise - posted on 07/12/2012

Things will change dramatically when your child starts playgroup as all mums stand together to collect their child from playgroup and chat. It is then that you will get the opportunity to make friends for yourself and your child. The early years are lonely years for a lot of mums. Keep looking for clubs in your area. Normally the local groups are run by the church although not religious meetings. Don't give up there are a lot of lonely mums out there!

Amie - posted on 07/12/2012

I have a young face too, I am 24 years old and people all the time think I'm 19. I hate that cause I used to work as a stylist and just cause I looked young the women didn't trust or think I could do their hair and they either walked out or requested my manager who was the same age and everything, it made me feel so bad and this was when i was pregnant... I tried to get moms together and none showed, and the ladies at church with babies same age as mine were older and didnt seem interested at all in me.
When my son turned one I invited all the moms I knew and bought party favor boxes for all the kids and not one of them showed up. I was very disappointed I wasted all that time planning my sons birthday. I think for his second birthday I will take him to chuckie cheese so he can play and have fun. Everyone I come across loves my son and thinks hes so cute and I like that. If what you are needing is a mom to talk to I am here, you can talk to me. Seems we have very similar thing going on. I honestly cant answer this for you cause I still am alone with just my boyfriend to talk to and hes busy with his own things.

Amanda - posted on 07/12/2012

ik what u mean i have noone lol and its just me and willow alllll day lol all i want is someone 2 talk 2 and its like pulling teeth lol idk what els 2 do HELP!

Stifler's - posted on 07/12/2012

I think you are assuming everyone is judging you for being a young mum. I'm a *young mum* and have always had older mum friends because I made the effort to go to things and talk to people rather than waiting for people to talk to me. Or maybe they're just as nervous as you about talking to people they don't know.

Kelly - posted on 07/11/2012

You don't need to pay to start a mom's club, besides, mom's clubs never really worked for me anyway--they need some component besides having kids the same age or the conversation never goes beyond "Brendon spit up all night" "Mary is talking in full sentences, how many words does your Sam know?" etc.

Btw, maybe the childless friend is not trying to exclude you, perhaps she thinks you enjoy the little breaks from motherhood and she's trying to do you a favor. Next time she offers to take your little one to the pool or park, say "That sounds awesome, I haven't been to the pool in ages!" or "That's great! I love having someone along to talk with at the park." Just like she invited both of you, or offered to come along instead of take little off your hands. Also, invite her to do stuff with you too.

Very few of my friends have kids J's age--they're not too far apart, a few years or so, so they can play, but they'll not be best friends or any thing--I chose my friends on MY relationship with them, not my kid's. I am "friendly" with the mom's of J's friends--I can do small talk with them, and discuss some current events--but no heart to hearts or effortless hours of conversation. I chose them because J liked their kids. A couple of those moms, i have actually begun to get close too. One from taekwondo I've known for 3 years, and I'm finally starting to like just chilling with her, but as her son drops taekwondo & mine continues, i'm not sure if the friendship will survive or not....

Angelina - posted on 07/11/2012

We go to church but all the moms are married and are 6-15 yrs older than me and just dont bother to get to know me or my child. My family lives in a different state. The friends i met in college just want to go out and drink and stay out late. And thats just not me. I met another girl who was great but didnt have a kid now the only time i hear from her is if she wants to take my kid to a birthday party, to the pool , or something else where she only wants my gaughter to go with her and doesnt even ask me. I went to high school in a different town in a different state and so they all just kinda i hard to get in touch with. My daughter is going to be 2 on the 26th of this month. And its not so much that im stircrazy that i dont get out of the house cuz we go to the park, we go for walks, we are taking a swim class, and i take her grocery shopping with me. I am just sick of always feeling alone. I love my boyfriend and we do things together but its not the same as having a girlfriend to talk to. Not to mention there is a large age difference between us so that makes things a bit difficult but we deal. I just want a great girlfriend i can tell anything to and wants to do things with me and my daughter. and if she has a kid so we can do play dates that would be awesome. I tried craigslist and i got nothin but creepy guys trying to get laid. the moms club ppl wanted me to start a moms club here but i just dont know..... and they want me to pay $30 usd to get the thing started. IDK i just want friends that are real true friends.

Nancy - posted on 07/11/2012

I know exactly how you feel and feel the exact same way! I am a young mom and having a baby face doesn't help either b/c ppl always assume I am like some 16 yr. old teen mom. All the older moms don't seem to want to bother with me and I just feel alone as well. I've tried mom groups and church groups and in the end it seems like everybody is too busy living their life or caring for their kids that it is really hard to make "genuine and sincere" friends. All I want is a girl friend that I can just get together with and my kids can play with hers. I feel like the only best friends I have are my girls and my mom. It seems that as you get older its harder to make trustworthy friends that you can connect with. Good luck and don't feel discouraged I am sure we will find those kind of friends.

Katherine - posted on 07/11/2012

How old is your child? If she/he is in preschool you could join MOPS, or get on the board.

Amie - posted on 07/11/2012

I know exactly how you feel, I am the same way. I wish I had a girl friend who had a kid near my kids age as well. I dont know any I can relate to or get in touch with. I crave adult time. For some reason I've always had a hard time making friends with girls, none seem interested in getting to know me or hang out.
I went to a morning service at a church with my boyfriend and they had organized their daycare into kids of the same age play together which I liked a lot and also the moms could stay in there with their kid and play and hang out... that might be a great way to get to meet moms. My gym also has a daycare so that's another option for kids to interact with each other.
I saw moms suggesting to start a mom club, like put out flyers to have a mom and kid day at the park or something, a play date. Being a stay at home mom its hard to be involved with the world we gotta make ourselves get out there and enjoy it, its rough. We get stircrazy, I recently bought a baby seat carrier for my bike so I can go on bike rides and get out and see the neighborhood. Also makes me feel like a kid again cause I hadnt rode my bike since i was a teen hah. Maybe family can be your friend, I wish I had family that was close and didnt work but none have time for me. I dont know your situation on that.