So why did you decide to stay home?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tracy - posted on 02/14/2010

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1 reason was because it was cost-effective, i was working just 2 pay the daycare. But once my daughter started 1st grade, we were going 2 have 2 have some1 put her on the bus in the morning cause my job started @ 6am & my husband started @ 730, her bus comes @ 830 & personally i don't feel comfortable having a stranger in my home taking care of my children. plus it has been very exciting staying home w/my 5yr old son, i really am loving every minute of it, i didn't think i would cause i'm not the stay home mom type, i like to help provide 4 r children but this is an experience i would not give up now.

C - posted on 02/12/2010

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They are my children and my responsibility to raise them. They deserve to have their mommy as much as possible and being a SAHM is possible for me. I love the time we spend together and will never regret my choice.

Jaclyn - posted on 02/12/2010

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I wanted my kids to be raised by their parents not someone they don't know or some family member. I worked at a daycare. I raised most of those kids. along with my own. Its not fair to the kid to not be around their parents as much as they should. that's my opinion..

Elizabeth - posted on 02/08/2010

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I always wanted to be a homemaker and stay at home mom, ever since I was a little girl. I couldn't bear to be one of those moms who has to hear about her child's first words or first steps from a babysitter/daycare worker. I want to be the one teaching and raising my children. Why have 'em if your not going to spend time with them? besides the fact that childcare is ridiculously expensive and many times kids get hurt/abused by their caretakers.

[deleted account]

Because leaving my kid in daycare all day to go play civil engineer was pretty much the most soul-crushing thing ever. No amount of money is worth these years. I can go build bridges anytime. I can't get back my kids' childhoods.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

172 Comments

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Adrienne - posted on 09/21/2011

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I want to be at home for the first 2 years of my kids life so that I can give them a strong foundation. I also want to experience their first words, their first steps, their potty training etc. Here in Montreal, we get a year of maternity benefits and quite frankly, there's nothing wrong with downsizing your lifestyle for a few years so that your kids have a strong bond with you. (Especially since I'm breastfeeding exclusively, I don't have to pump every day)

Fiona - posted on 02/17/2010

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I was raised by my dad because my mum had died when I was 2 so he relied on child minders so he could go to work and I was such a shy child and hated them, also some of them were clearly just in it for the money so I decided that if I didn't have to work I wouldn't and my husband agreed.

Nitesha - posted on 02/16/2010

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i decided to stay home because i want to be the one to raise my 6 children not a nanny or the tv or the cpu or some random person, i want to help them with their home work, school projects, and whatever else they are in need of when they are in need of it,and btw have you seen or heard about the cost of daycare it my mortgage payment plus my water, and cable bill for 1 mont it is like aroud 1300 .

Hope - posted on 02/16/2010

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For my family it wasn't something we decided. It was always said b4 kids that when we have kid that I will stay at home. They are now 6 and 4 and have only went to a sitter (grandparents) a few times. I feel that as being a parent the kids should come first. I also would not ever want to miss out on all the 1st and am so happy with the bond that I have with both my boys. My husband thinks its wonderful because he doesn't have to worry about some stranger watching our children.

Stephanie - posted on 02/15/2010

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A few reasons, as a teacher's aide I wasn't making enough to cover daycare. My fiance also runs his own business and it was getting to be too much for him to handle alone. Now I stay home with our kids and help to run his business. It is proving to be a much better system :)

Liliana - posted on 02/15/2010

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I decided to become a stay at home mom when I got pregnant with my second baby. My husband makes enough money to where we can do without the second income comfortably. Plus I have never been okay with day cares there are too many accidents happening there. I love being at home with my two munchkins. My babies are 2yrs and 3mnths. They grow up so fast and do the darnest things at these ages that I couldn't miss it for the world. I'll be back out in the real world when my babies start school!

Liliana - posted on 02/15/2010

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I decided to become a stay at home mom when I got pregnant with my second baby. My husband makes enough money to where we can do without the second income comfortably. Plus I have never been okay with day cares there are too many accidents happening there. I love being at home with my two munchkins. My babies are 2yrs and 3mnths. They grow up so fast and do the darnest things at these ages that I couldn't miss it for the world. I'll be back out in the real world when my babies start school!

Victoria - posted on 02/15/2010

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I have always wanted to stay at home with my kids I was to very young when I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom also with the cost of daycare these days its just not worht me working right now although when he starts school I do see myself going back to work I do see daycare as a good thing but who else is better then to rasie your child but yourself.

E - posted on 02/15/2010

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After going around looking for baby care center that were safe and approved by health department and social services, plus the cost of it. We decided that it was smarter to stay at home mom and take care of our children. After all your kids are better develop with you than other people. Nevertheless, nobody will give them the same love and attention that they need than yourself.

Mandi - posted on 02/15/2010

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I started out going back to work. I worked for 2 months, and in that two months my twin girls were sick like 2 weeks. It came down to the fact that we lost LESS money if I stayed home with the girls full time then trying to put them both in day care, and then the loss of income from me staying home. It also didn't help that I was going to be fired if I had to take any more time off of work to stay home with my kids. As my income was less then my husbands we decided to forgo my income and i stayed home with my baby girls. It was the best decision ever. Yes Money is Extreamly tight, and some times i don't know how we make it, and i think i need to go out and find some sort of part time job, but then they do something awsome and I just can't stand it, and we make it work! I had ever intention of working the whole time, but now i can't imagin doing that and missing all this cool stuff with them.

Cassandra - posted on 02/15/2010

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I had to drop out my 12th grade year because I got pregnant with my son and was planning on going to finish but i had no one so i decided to stay home and I really have a hard time trusting people with my son, he is my world, and now I can't see my self working until my son and excepting baby are in elementary school.

Susan - posted on 02/14/2010

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i worked during both my first two kids first years so when i had my last one i swore i was going to stay home and not miss a second! now that shes 7 im thinking of going back to work but i wouldnt have traded that time for anything! i only wish id done it for all 3!

Jodi - posted on 02/14/2010

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My mom was a SAHM and I always admired her for it and have such a great relationship with her! I just knew that I always wanted to be a mommy and a stay at home mommy to boot! Just no other choice for me!

Jessica - posted on 02/14/2010

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We moved to a differnt town an hour away from where I worked then I couldn't find another job and decided to go back to school and then shortly after became pregnant with baby number 2 and now i have been a stay at home mom since august I love it!

Kati - posted on 02/14/2010

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My husband & I always joked about me being a stay at home mom, but I'm not sure I believed it would happen. I thought it would be a good idea, but wasn't sure I could handle going from a full time job w/ a very nice salary to a house wife completely dependent on my husband. I also was afraid that I would go completely insane from the lack of daily adult interaction. In truth, my job was a high stress, frustrating position & I often came home complaining about whatever had happened that day. My son is almost 4 months old & I officially quit my job a week ago. I truly can't imagine going back to it now that I've been home with him. My husband says I'm a different person. He gets home & I am smiling & telling him about all the silly or fun things I did with the baby instead of bitching about work. Why wouldn't I stay home???

I still worry about being home 24/7 with a baby, but when he smiles at me & does something cute I can't imagine being anywhere else. I also agree that the cost of child care is insane & I refuse to work only to give damn near all my money to that person. I can raise my son & be there to see all the milestones & teach him things, so why not? I'll be broke either way. It is still a little scary since this is my first child, but we plan to have more kids & I want to be there for all of them.

My son just started mimicking me & it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. He is learning to sputter his lips like I do when I want to distract him from something. I'm not sure I could go back & give this up even if I wanted to at this point. I love being with him. It's that simple.

Josselyne - posted on 02/14/2010

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I dont trust anyone else with my daughter..that really is the bottom line. In addition, If I could get a years maternity leave..then i would consider going bk.. but since I cant, I would rather stay home and raise her etc

Janice - posted on 02/14/2010

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I became a stay at home mom due to the expense of child care for three kids. I did open a in home daycare tho to help support my family. I have loved every minute of the last 5 years i have spent devoting my all to my kids.

Natasha - posted on 02/14/2010

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i choose to stay at home because i beleive being martins mommy is the most important job i could ever do! i want to be the one to raise him how i want him raised and teach him new things. i would hate to miss any of his firsts. i know that some mommys have to work outside of the home, but i thank God and my husband that i am blessed with staying home with my lil monster! plus id much rather my son be taken care of by someone who loves him more than anything in the world than to be taken care of by someone who is paid to.

[deleted account]

I decided to stay at home mainly because I wanted to be the one to raise my children, to experience all their milestones, irritations and be there for them. When I was pregnant with my first, my husband and I crunched the numbers and found out I'd bring home maybe $500 a year if I went back to work. It wasn't worth it. Nearly 12 years later, I'm still at home with my 3, ages 5, 8 and 11. I volunteer at their schools, I'm a girl scout leader, on the PTO board, and very active at their schools. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Granted, I think I've slowly gone insane, but my kids know I'm home and waiting for them when they get out of school. They only grow up once, and I wasn't about to let someone else experience their young lives instead of me.

Lisa - posted on 02/14/2010

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There were lots of reason, I already had another child who was at nursery so trying to juggle this and the fact that my pay wouldnt have been enough for a child minder. The child minder i trusted was also full. The thing that was the biggest reason was i wanted to pick my daughter up when she started school so she could tell me what she had been up to and give me a hug and kiss. I stayed a home untill my son started full time school and it was the best thing i could have done for both my children.

Lizzie - posted on 02/14/2010

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i have always wanted to b a mother, i had ciaran (4 in may) when i was 40 and my mother had 6 kids and she never worked when she became a mother and i wanted to be just like her my mum is a kool mother iluv her with all my heart we have heaps of fun together we go to the park and have seesaws i always say i will never have a seesaw again when she gone we dont live in the same town now and i miss her heaps. i love to stay at home with ciaran we go to music and movement on a thhursday morning and have fun singing and dancing we both love to sing and dance ciaran loves mama mia and sings it all the time he loves christmas music which we here everyday still, ciaran is the best gift that god gave me jason and i love him to bits ciaran does go to kin dy 4 mornings a week he a very boy. hope this is helpful go the stay at home mums we are the luckies mothers alive why have kids if ur not going to look after them

[deleted account]

I believe it is our resposibility to raise our children, we cannot expect them to learn our values and our beliefs if they are not with us. We are our kids first and best examples of how we want them to be as adults but if they spend more time with others how can we do this. I want my kids to know that they are important and the best way to do this is to become the biggest part of their lives. I also believe if we get used to that second income, it wont be easy to do without it. We have managed for 12 years now and I am so blessed to be with them all day everyday. I learn so much from them and enjoy their company. I have heard many people who do not spend alot of time with their kids comment about not being able to tollerate being around them, they cant wait to get away from them. Its sad. I know kids can be loud and annoying and needy , but the more you are around them, the more you get used to it, and actually begin to enjoy it.



"Dont have them if you dont want to raise them" Dr. Laura

even a dog deserves more time than most people spend with their kids.



I now also homeschool for the last 2 years which has opened up a whole new world for us, want to know more?

Lyndsey - posted on 02/13/2010

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When I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to stay home for the first few months but thought I would go to work at some point. The minute my son was born and he was handed to me I knew I never wanted to leave him. Plus, my son was born with clubfeet and I never wanted him to wonder where I was when he was in pain from his casts or braces. I wanted to be the one to raise my child with our morals and values. Money is tight...we could buy a lot more things if I worked, but it doesnt matter. There is no monetary value in getting to spend every day watching my son grow and change. I absolutely love being a SAHM!

Julia - posted on 02/13/2010

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My son got really sick a couple of days before I was about to go to work so we took him to the dr and found out that he needed surgery to remove a toumer around his heart. so when he came my husband and i decided that I would stay home so he would get better and weigh more. now that he weighs almost 20 pounds, i would not give up staying home with him and helping him become that child that he can be...its the best!

Theresa - posted on 02/13/2010

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We had been trying to have children for a number of years. When it finally happened -- twins -- my husband and I knew right away that the best thing for our family would be for me to stay at home and raise them. The cost of daycare was staggering. So I did return to work for three weeks while my husband and mother took care of the kids. The first week back I gave my two week notice, and have not regretted it at all. My children are now 9 years old and I work from home, and I love it. I always wanted to be a mom, and this is the hardest, but most worthwhile, job I have ever had.

Cindy - posted on 02/13/2010

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I stayed because I could not find a nanny or sitter or day care to take the pace of me,their mother. I loved being at home and raising my 9 children. I also home schooled them.

Lisa - posted on 02/12/2010

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It has always been my dream to stay home with my children....I couldn't with my first and hated it every time I had to leave her....my husband and I planned that when the next one came we would make it work and that was 5 yrs. ago. I now have 3 and it is the best thing I have ever done for my family. If I go back to work now, we would be paying an arm and a leg for daycare and besides I don't want some stranger to care for my kids. I love my job of being a full time mommy/wife.

Alicia - posted on 02/12/2010

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What's the point of having kids if you're not even going to be there for them? You only get so many sick days, vacation days, and personal days from work. If your kids get sick, you have to make a choice. Plus the pay for daycare is ludicrous.

Suzie - posted on 02/12/2010

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it was money and travel my job was 35 min away from home and the cost of daycare and milage would have made my monthly take home like 200 bucks and that was only with 2 in school and one in daycare i was pregnant too so i actually would have been makin no money period... not worth it im soooo much happier being home with my kids. i miss my job cuz i was really good at it but i love being with my girls

Emma - posted on 02/12/2010

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I AM SO LUCKY AND BLESSED TO FINALLY BE AT HOME WID MY 3 BOYS WE CAN FINALLY AFFORD IT. I WORKED 4 YEARS IN DAYCARE AND PROMISED ID NEVER PUT MY KIDS IN ONE!!! ALSO MY MUM STAYED HOME 4 YEARS AND I LOVED IT BUT WEN I WAS OLDER SHE RETURNED I HATED IT AND FELT HOME WASNT HOME UNTIL MOM WAS HOME. Y HAVE KIDS 4 SUM1 ELSE TO REAR WEN ITS YOUR JOB.? I SAW KIDS COME TO CRECHE 4 OVER 50 HRS A WEEK DATS NUTS POOR THINGS.

Donna - posted on 02/12/2010

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I had the opportunity to work at home, so I took that opportunity so I could be the one to raise my baby. Im SO glad I did, because I would have missed alot - Now I know what hes doing day to day and watching him grow

Kirsten - posted on 02/12/2010

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because I want my kids to be my top priority and have occasional moments to really 'be in the moment' with their childhood - which is already flying by (my babies are now 3 and 6)... I can get back on my career path later but only get one chance to be home with them before they're off to school....

Rebecca - posted on 02/12/2010

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One was because it wasn't worth the headacke of after i worked all day and then came home to my second job of being a mom.trying to fit in supper and baths and homework and time to relax, i was just tired and when i found out i was preg. with my third, my husband told me he wanted me at home. and so thats what i did. at first I worried that i would miss working. but i tell you being a stay at home is the HARDEST job there is. you do no get to leave at 5 and leave it all there. It with you from the time you get up til the time you go to bed and even then. and there is no one you can leave them with just to run to the store. but i wouldn't change it for the world i know my kids are safe and i don't have to worry about what kind of person is taking care of them today wihile they were at daycare. and it has also made my marrage alot better too.

Bonita - posted on 02/12/2010

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I had an absent mother when i was a child n my dad worked very hard to take care of me and my sister, that drove me even more to wanna be a SAHM , i want to give my son something i didnt have, a mommy, it means so much to me to be with him every second of the day not missing anything, and teaching him to grow up to be a good person. i wouldnt change it for nuthin.

Amanda - posted on 02/12/2010

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I wanted to see my girls grow and didnt want anyone else to do it plus we move alot being th earmy so it was the best for our family. But now have a home day care but i am still rasing my girls and wont go work out the home till they are in school

Monica - posted on 02/12/2010

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I feel very blessed to be home with the kids and that other people are not raising them. It was tough to walk away from a career, but this is definitely where God wants me. It is challenging at times, but my husband loves it that I am the one giving him the "firsts" and the update of the day firsthand instead of reporting what happened at daycare.

Lisa - posted on 02/12/2010

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I love all the answers everyone has! And my answer is similar to so many: I always dreamed of staying home to raise my kids instead of having them in daycare. Thanks to my home based business I have been living that dream since my first child was born 3 1/2 years ago. It's definitely the hardest job you could ever have... and the most rewarding!! Three Cheers for SAHM's!!!

Christine - posted on 02/12/2010

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I became a stay home mom after my son Anthony was born. This was agreed about with my husband before I even got pregnant. Anthony is my third child, I have two older children from a previous marriage and it was always very painful for me to leave them and be a working mom. I didn't have any choice in that marriage! I've done it both ways and I know for a fact that I am truely blessed and so are my children to be a stay at home mom. I get to cook better, clean better, play better and just be a happier mommy!

Maria - posted on 02/12/2010

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I was totally, completely, and thoroughly burnt out on my job. Also, daycare cost so much, and I made so little money (if I don't include the fully subsidized health insurance), it would nearly have been a wash. So, why bother? I couldn't bring myself to pay someone else to raise my child when it wouldn't benefit any of us, in the long run.



I'm glad I did, because I had time to work on myself and make a plan for my life. Now my hubby stays home with our daughter, and I am going to school to pursue my dream!

[deleted account]

well I wanted to stay home until my son was 3 months, but then he was so clingy and he was breastfeeding it was hard, so I decided that I would wait until he turned 1, but then found out that I needed to be earning a lot of money for daycare as it was very expensive for fulltime care. For me, only the cost of daycare put a pause on working again otherwise I would be back into it in a shot

Alma - posted on 02/11/2010

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I still don't know if its the right or wrong decision for my family. I've always known though that's what I wanted when I had kids. My mom was a single mother with three children, and had to work her butt off. We were always with different babysitters, daycare, or someones relative. I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to leave your children with people you barely know. Financially we are not as stable as we would like, we could use the extra income. I just don't know if in the end it'd be worth it.

Sharon - posted on 02/11/2010

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Well I didn't at first. I lost my job and then I was at home. My husband had started a business and I took over the marketing, paperwork, and employee stuff. Then he was diagnosed with cancer and I started homeschooling our child (4 at the time). Staying at home with him has been wonderful. His vocabulary is unreal, he is a small adult. He loves to play and help me. He has been through alot with his daddy sick but we are a team. I wouldn't change the situation for anything. It is my chance to make a difference in his life. When we see all the things that happen in schools, I can't image him being there.

Veronique - posted on 02/11/2010

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I always say that i made children to raise them not to let other people raise them but then, i am lucky to be able to stay at home and not every moms are that lucky. I feel bad of just thinking about not being home and miss everything in their lives! I love being a stay at home mom and see all the things they do, and when they cry, mommy is there to comfort them and when they're happy, mommy is there to share the happiness with them. First smiles, first steps brings tears to my eyes and for me to not be able to see that would break my heart. I want to be the one to comfort my kids, to see them smile, see them laugh.

Wandalee - posted on 02/11/2010

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cost too much to have two kids in daycare. i would be working just to pay for it.

Wandalee - posted on 02/11/2010

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cost too much to have two kids in daycare. i would be working just to pay for it.

Wandalee - posted on 02/11/2010

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cost too much to have two kids in daycare. i would be working just to pay for it.

Wandalee - posted on 02/11/2010

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cost too much to have two kids in daycare. i would be working just to pay for it.

Toni - posted on 02/11/2010

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i didnt want to be, i wanted to work. but my husband wanted me to stay home. now i do both work from home. nothing better. my son at the time was a foster child and had been returned to birth mom and back to me again. he was drama tised. so btwn him and a pregancy that wouldnt let me work. i stayed at home. i like having time w/ my kids. but i never get anything done. i think i got more house work done when i worked full time. of course we werent all here messing it up. also i have not seen a money difference really. its worth it

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