spanking study

Christina - posted on 02/08/2012 ( 18 moms have responded )

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http://health.yahoo.net/news/s/nm/spanki...

my only comment is I personally noticed a link between lack of punishment to lack of respect for authority... I am not saying everyone every were needs to beat there kids but after working with kids I am much more for stricter parenting. Only a parent knows their kid well enough to know the best punishment for them, but I think the outlawing spanking your disrespectful, rude, mean, brat is wrong. Then studies sayin staying specifically American children are arrogant and have high entitlement issues because of to much positive feed back and the whole everyones a winner thing... there seems to be no happy medium studies like this come out then more laws come out and next thing you know your once toddler that didnt respond to time out is standing in F_*$ YOU, MAKE ME, OUR NOT MY BOSS! At a whole 10 yrs old making a seen that embarrasses everyone...

Just wondering what yall think about it I guess do the benifits out way the risks, and what form of punishment or rewards do you use, do you use different things for each kid an if so why?

I spank on occasion when the situation is extreme and nothing else has worked, my son never has really responded well to time outs but my daughter has so she gets less spankings. We do use rewards for potty training in the form of stickers which has worked wonders for my son, but thats the only reward system we have used and that has stuck

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Janice - posted on 02/08/2012

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The article clearly states that there is no reason for controversy the data is solid. You can absolutely be strict and discipline your child with out hitting them. Spanking is a form of discipline that only teaches children to be fearful after they do something wrong and doesn't teach them what is right.



Arrogant, entitled children are created by parents who give in to their child's every request and don't take the time to teach their child how to behave.

Tracie - posted on 02/10/2012

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Proper discipline (which literally means "teaching") requires absolutely no hitting. We have decades of proof to support this. As far as I'm concerned, this "debate" ended years ago. Anyone who still hits their child is either lazy or ignorant. Educate yourselves. Science doesn't lie. I have two children (10 & 7) and have never laid a finger on them. However, I am a very strict disciplinarian. They are polite, responsible, respectful people. My oldest was even awarded "Citizen of the YEAR" at her private school. See? No hitting needed to properly teach.

Bernadette - posted on 02/11/2012

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here we go again.....The topic no one is EVER going to agree on, and yet everyone insists on starting it over yet again. It always ends up with people insulting each other, doing the whole "you're a bad parent", "my parenting is better than yours", "I'm better than you", and then the thread gets locked because it's turned too nasty, but then it just starts again elsewhere. Please, can we just let this one go and agree to disagree?

[deleted account]

There is a very definite line between spanking and beating, but hundreds of studies have shown that BOTH are detrimental to a child's well being, and NEITHER are good discipline techniques.

A spanking does not have to be a full blow beating to hurt a child and cause future issues and behavior problems.



Read pages 13-16 of this paper.

http://www.phoenixchildrens.com/PDFs/pri...



Children who are physically disciplined (not beaten, just spanked, usually with some brief discussion about why the just got spanked) are at higher risk for impaired mental health (depression, anxiety, addiction, and general psychological maladjustment). They suffer through poor parent-child relationships and are less open and forthcoming towards their parents. They are at higher risk of being physically and verbally abusive as adults.



All resources are cited at the end of the paper if you wish to look at individual parameters for the studies used.

Rene - posted on 02/14/2012

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Here's a thought ladies each child is diffrent just like each of us is diffrent. Raising your child is like having sex with your husband nobody eles should tell you how to do it. Why would a strangers input tell you something you don't know about an child you carried, gave birth to, and loved everyday of its life. Any good parent dose what they belive is best for there child and guess what it is what's best its their kid. We all want affrimation that we are doing right. Thats not on here look at your kids and you'll know.

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Stacy - posted on 02/20/2012

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We were spanked as children I only a few times and same with my sisters we all turned out fine... My husband and his sister actually spanked with a spoon and both are totally fine... Our main source is taking away things and time out but sometimes a spanking is necessary for some kids not all... I finding a variety of punishment istead of one or the other is best... But sometime timeout isn't enough... I'm 25 and me and my husband are expecting our 3rd... My kids behave most everywhere we go... kids need structure as number 1 especially those little boys:) always stick to what you say and don't give in... If they have a fit cuz they don't get something don't give it to them just let them have a fit most parents understand and look at you as a better parent by not giving into their tantrum... I believe in spankings but studies can't always be correct there are too many factors of each child WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT CAN NEVER BE PUT IN A CATAGORY WHO KNOWS WHAT LIFE EXPERIENCE MADE THSES CHILDREN GREAT KIDS OR HORRIBLE ONES WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS GEEZ PEOPLE... I've had issues in my life as well as millions of others and I can tell you the result was NOT from being spanked... BEST ADIVICE I CAN GIVE LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR MOTHERLY INSTICTS AND DO WHAT U THINK IS WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE NOT WHAT AN ARTICLE OR SOMEONE TELLS U!

Carol - posted on 02/14/2012

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I think Rene hit it right on the nose. No one should tell you how to raise your kids, their kids may be diffrent. A family with one child may look at a family with more and go ' oh we don't spank' and the mom/dad with more than one kid would be thinking ' your kids a complete brat, if that was my kid and he did yadda yadda, he's get punished.' Each parent and person veiws their child diffrently. I was like Gabrielle as a kid, no problems, got good grades, I got a c once and grounded myself. My sisters, druggies, had sex in their teens called CPS on my mom over stupid things and grew into druggie adults and one whose almost 40 still hasn't gotten her life together. I was in the army, and now im in collage and i graduated high school at 17, neither sister did that. The diffrence? I respected my parents, my sisters did not. We all where spanked me more so than my sisters who would be grounded and my mom would at times fake spank them when I got the real thing. Now, both my husband and I give our kids plenty of chances. We tell them no, we move things, we do time outs and if they still go after something, we send them to bed and they will still come back for that thing, spanking is a last resort. While my husband would like to cut to the chase, i pretty much force him to give them multiple chances to stop. If that dosen't work, what other option do I have? his mom, who agrees with the multiple option even said, we where doing it right. Give them a chance to do something else and if they just don't want to, then spank them. Things such as running out into the road, spank them right then and let them know they did something wrong. THats how we parent, chances and then last resort.

Alice - posted on 02/14/2012

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people are saying on here that if you choose NOT to spank' then your dont disiplining, do it ur way but dont judge those that do. but the one that really gets me is that if we smack our kids we are BEATING on them!!! thats insane! there is a huge difference between BEATING your kids and smacking them!!

Dudeation - posted on 02/14/2012

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my family is probably a perfect example of no matter what u do u never really know how ur kids are going to turn out i have a brother and a sister. i am poster child, never did anything really bad got 1 detention in my whole life (and that was only for being talkative) , did well at school , was respectful to everybody i met and generaly a really good kid. i know live with my long term partner with our 2 year old.

my brother has been in trouble a few times ranging from fights to truancy, didnt do well in school, hardly ever went to school, is a very angry young man and has the capasity to do very bad things if he wanted to but he doesnt. YET. he is 20 with 2 children that he never sees and makes no effort to.

then comes my sister EVIL expelled from 1 school for stealing from a charity then expelled from a further 4 for being unruley and generaly EVIL , she tortured me as a child even if i am older than her! she has beaten my mother black and blue aswell as 90% of the poor folk that lived near us and was bought home by the police ATLEAST twice a week from the age of 10 . she got so bad and made us all so miserable she was put into care at 13. she started contracting sexualy tranmited diseases at 12. she was so bad she hit me with a hammer once when i was in a wheelchair!!!!! shes now 19 with 2 children by 2 fathers (the eldest lives with the childsfather as he was deamed more stable than she) and is divoring her husband she married the day she turned 18.

NOW I ASK YOU TELL ME WHO OF THESE CHILDREN WERE HIT AND WHO WERENT? THE ANSWER ALL OF THEM. you cannot determin what a child is going to do with their lives or how hitting might affect their lives but in my opinion id rather not chance it. NO TO HITTING (ive tapped my daughters hands a few times when she is going to hurt them ie touch fire or when she smacks me in the face!)

User - posted on 02/14/2012

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I normally ground my five year old when she does something she is not allowed to do. That means no tv or video games, and no desserts and snacks. I also have her put her nose in the corner. When she really does something she isn't suppose to do that could be dangerous or mean than she gets a spanking. Only on the bottom and never anywhere else. My child respects me and loves me just as any other because for her the system works. She isn't fearful or any nonsense. She knows she did wrong and she learns very well from her mistakes. On the other hand I have a boy who will be two in April. He is already starting terrible twos and is harder to discipline. We have tried spanking, but it really doesn't do us any good. So, our method with him is nose in the corner, as best as we can make him do it, and taking him to his room and sitting him on his bed when he wants to thrown a fit. Our best thing for him is consistency, we don't give into his bad behavior and we don't coddle him in anyway when he has been bad and crying over the punishment. We still give spankings to him when he does things that are dangerous to him or if he is being mean, but like I said only on his bottom and never anywhere else. My kids a pretty well behaved children and get along really well together, so it is very rare that we need to discipline them.

Samantha - posted on 02/12/2012

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There is clear line between a small, simple spank to the bottom and beating your child's ass for his/her wrong doing. I will admit, I have spanked my son but he always had a diaper on or clothes on. Never has it been bare skin, unless it was a light slap to his hand for hitting me. Other than his hand, there is always something for padding from my hand. He fussies a bit after and he only gets it if time out has failed 3 times in a row.

Liz - posted on 02/12/2012

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Discipline does not equal spanking. Kids need discipline, absolutely, but they do not need spanking. It is perfectly possible to discipline using other methods.

Alice - posted on 02/12/2012

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when i yell at my son not to do something and he does it anyway ill give him a little smack on the hand and say u dont do that because....... but if he is doing something that is dangerous and he doesnt listen to me when i tell him to get down or that is hot! then i will smack him i would rather him have a sore bum for a little while then in a cast for 6-8 weeks or burns.

Jenni - posted on 02/11/2012

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Or we parents who don't spank just don't agree it's an effective form of discipline....

Rene - posted on 02/11/2012

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I have 7 kids. Did I spank them? yes. However I didn't brow beat them and scream at them until they had no self-estem I am not cruel to my children even as grown ups we have a consequse for our actions. A spanking is simple and to the point. When its over its over. I have seen parents try to injure their child with words and guess what it works. Every time a kid acts up it dosen't mean they need corpral punishment. Kids on the play ground dont try to spank each other but they have learned to speak cruel words that cut deep some where. I'm sure that the kids who arent spanked there parents are some even tempered perfect people who never get frustrated or upset or maybe they have nannies.

[deleted account]

I am really fed up with the assumption that if you choose not to hit your kids you do not discipline them...my children both have solid rules, and get disciplined if they break the rules, but I have never needed to hit them! Just as I have never needed to hit any child in my care to correct misbehaviour.

[deleted account]

I totally agree with this article! My children are still young 3, 2 and 6 months but my husband and I haven't hit them. I hate when people tell me "oh you just wait...you will (hit them)!" and to be honest, we started it this way not knowing if we could stick to it. It really has nothing to do with the child. As much as some parents would love for you to believe that every disrespectful and rude child has nothing to do with the way they paerented. Displine has to do with being able to control yourself long enough to have a conversation about it and deal with the behavior accordingly. Try taking away privileges that directly corresponds with the behavior. Teach your child early on about natural consequences. Hitting just is in no way a natural consequence because every parent is teaching their children not to hit others!

Deidre - posted on 02/08/2012

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Wow, this is certainly a LOADED question. LOL

I believe Punishment and Discipline are two different things. Punishment is most relating to what's known as Corporal Punishment, what we call spanking or hitting. Discipline in my opinion is mostly teaching with lots of communication and boundaries. I am a fan of both. I have noticed the younger the child is the more "Hands on" so to speak I am. Young children have a hard time with their impulse control so I find it helpful to actually guide them with my hands to their destination. My disclaimer is this: I spanked my eldest child for just about everything when he was little. It was how my mother did it. But since then I have had two more children and I have had a remarkable response to extreme verbal communication. I enjoy being educated with Early Learning and Development. It has done WONDERS in my parenting style. I am VERY strict still, but only use a spanking when in HUGE circumstance. But now that I think of it, the spankings have come less and less because I, myself, have been really working on controlling my emotions. If I spank these days it's mostly because I have lost my temper and I am lashing out in anger. It took me a long time to actually receive this piece of knowledge. I have 3 boys. Ages 3, 5, and 12. I do discipline them differently because they are at different age levels. My new thing with my youngest is separating him from the others instead of spanking. He doesn't change his behavior until he is made to be alone. My middle one straitens up with the mere threat of a spanking. He is deathly afraid of my wrath. LOL My eldest only responds when I take away ALL of his privileges. I can't just take away one thing because it doesn't faze him a bit.Tried that and it didn't work. With all three I utilize verbal communication. Reminding them of our house rules and why it was inappropriate for them to have done whatever it was. Our household is run like a community. We all have our jobs and are expected to comply. There are clear consequences for any boundary that is crossed. Just like the real world. I am raising 3 boys who will soon be men. My job is to make sure the are Positive and Active in their community when they become men. I hope that helps, Deidre

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