Giving your child a public spanking... acceptable?

Sherry - posted on 09/02/2009 ( 193 moms have responded )

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Is it ok.. for instance to spank your child if they are not following the rules?? If you warned them, asked them, negotiated....then what comes next?? Do you spank in public? Is it worse to swat their hinney's or just let the behavior go??

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Elisha - posted on 09/04/2009

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I think if the child is misbehaving go for it. My daughter is very well behaved but she does try to push the buttons every once in awhile, and a small swat on the butt lets you know that its not accetiable. and that im the one in charge and she needs to listen to me, thankfully though i rarely have to use a spanking.

Megan - posted on 09/04/2009

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I totally agree with you on that, it should be the last resort except when dealing with a danger situation.

Ashley - posted on 09/04/2009

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I don't think I would spank in public, but if I were to see someone else do it, if the child actually earned that spanking lol... then it wouldn't bother me.

Megan - posted on 09/04/2009

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I am a mom of three boys also and I totally understand what you have to deal with. I am sure all three of yours also deal with things differently so what works for one doesn't for another and we sometimes have to adjust our discipline to each child. You are a great mom and do not worry about the dirty looks from others, it will happen.

Megan - posted on 09/04/2009

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I do agree with the distraction technique in most circumstances but whether you spank a child or not, the child's wrong actions do need to be dealt with at that time whether you are in public or not. I had had to deal with other parents lack of disciplining their children at parks and when that affects my kids I get involved. All children need discipline but no child needs abuse. The problem is that all the parents who do not discipline their children in fear of embarrassing them end up raising little monsters that other people have to then deal with. I will usually mind my own business unless somebody's kid hurts my kid and they do nothing to stop them, then I will get involved.

Rachel - posted on 09/04/2009

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For me, I try not to spank at all. I warn and then put my child on the naughty step. If we are out I carry a set of reins and I either put them on the reins place of the naughty step or I find an available blank wall and use that for the naughty step. Personally I think it would be confusing to a child if they get spanked at home and not when they're out. I know that my son would work this out and misbehave more when we were out cos he'd know he could get away with it. Whatever you do at home, you should do when you're out. Consistency is key. Having said THAT, it's now illegal to spank your child here (Britain) and if someone saw you spanking your child, or if it was caught on cameras you could be referred to the council and the council could prosecute you for child abuse. Some councils have a no tolerance policy whereas others assess the situation individually so you might need to do a bit of research as to what the implications of spanking could be.

Jennifer - posted on 09/04/2009

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I am old fashioned. I would definitly spank them. If you do it at home, then you need to be consistant. Sometimes it would prob be best if you went somewhere out of public if you were worried about what other people might do if they saw you spank. If you just let the behavior go, then they will get the message that its ok to do that in public. Or they might get confused on what to do and what not to do.



I definitely would try to do other things like you stated, but you definitely need to be consistant with whatever you do.

Shae - posted on 09/04/2009

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There's a difference in spanking your child and swatting them to get their attention.

Sure you wouldnt spank an adult...but how many adults do u know that throw screaming tatrums bc they don't get their way. If you're child is being bad & you've tried talking and "threatening" them and you can't afford to just pick them up and walk out-you've got to get their attention some way to let them know they aren't in control and they have to listen to you. Some ppl will just throw down on their kids in the middle of a store-obviously that's wrong-but a simple swatt or two-especially if they're still wearing a diaper-isn't a crime,it's your right as the parent to make a point

Jessica - posted on 09/04/2009

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When you give rewards to children for not acting out- they find ways around that. My 6 year old had charts, stickers, if he had so many stickers he got to go to chuckecheese. Then he would act out and negotiate his chart stickers, then he would negotiate not going to chuckecheese but to go to an inflatable place. Finally I did what I had resisted to do for so many years and I spanked my child. (at home) and then he'd test me out in the stores and I'd spank him there.. not to mention for his tantrums he'd have to apologize to everyone in the store if they heard him or not. yes a child should be treated with respect like an adult- but adults were trained not to act in this manner as a child from their parents or gaurdians.. And we were taught, some of us anyways, that when we were out of line in what we said or did that a pop on the toosh was needed.

Some children dont need spankings.. others, others learn best with having a warning like popping on the butt. It doesnt make us bad parents. I honestly feel its worst giving a child what they want to get them to calm down then to tell them no, and after all attempts of explaining why have failed then popping them on the butt.

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i try not to spank my children... but i tell you what. with a 5 yr old, a 3 yr old, and a 2 yr old, its not always easy. I will try time out first. or go play and get out of my face. But being all boys they dont always listen with the snap of a finger. so whether we are in public or at home if it is need be that i spank my kids, they will get spanked. im trying my best to be a great mommy... but at the same time my kids will not be allowed to just push me around and run the show.

[deleted account]

i dont spank and dont think it is acceotable to spank in public.. is it right for a child to get spanked because they are bored silly/ tired.. ect.. maybe a hug and a kiss.. hold the child for a moment.. there really is no need to spank. IMHO whenever i have seen parents spanking their child it hads just made them worse. not saying its the same for everyone.. just what i have seen. my children are well behaved most of the time but my oldest occasionally has a tantrum in town so i just tell him if he carries on he will be punnished and that usually works.. as my 11 month gets bigger i will just use hugs or redirection as i did with my oldest. no it did not always work but i'd rather that then spanking.. would just like to clarify that i am not in no way shape or form putting down spankers. each to their own.. :)

Christy - posted on 09/04/2009

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Sherry, I believe you should not spank in public. My reasons are based on the fact that you never know if someone in the crowd works for DHR or any other child related business and if they will turn a parent in for child abuse. I understand that spanking is not child abuse. For me a maximum of 3 spanks are enough. If someone spanked a child say 5 or 50 times, to me thats child abuse. A parent should be able to get their point across without spanking alot of times. In this day and time the line between spanking being disipline or child abuse is a gray area for some people. So you just never know who is watching you out in public and may turn you over to the authorities.

Helen - posted on 09/04/2009

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Definitely not in public, but yes do give them the look in public .. and without spanking or other.... do the punishment..

Sherry - posted on 09/04/2009

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In today's time, this is a difficult situation. In my opinion, if it is at all possible, try to remove you and your child from wherever the misbehavior is taking place, and disipline them out of sight of others. Bad behavior has to be addressed, but better out of the public's view. It will save all of you from some embarassment, and judgement. You may be at your witts end, but walking/carrying your child out of the environment, even though they are screaming, gives you time to try to calm down some too. I hope this helps. Good luck!

[deleted account]

You can just as easy discipline your child without spanking, you just have to think up a punishment that isn't physical such as confiscating one of their toys or no tv or something like that. There's really no need to resort to spanking.

[deleted account]

Quoting Tracy:

I do spank my daughter in public if I have to. The bigger fear for her is for all the people to see her getting a spanking for being bad. I will even ask her "Do you need a spanking in front of all these people ?" And she will start behaving just at the thought of it.

*I worked in a clothing store for about 10 years and some children should feel embarrassed for running a around acting like maniacs and not listening to their parents, as well as their parents.

In my group of friends we have a wide array of different disciplining techniques, and from a outsiders point of view the mothers and fathers that only talk to there children about why that was wrong, seem to be walked all over. Those children are the worse behave children I've been around. I even stopped babysitting for them because the youngest will not stop biting other children. And no I will not spank other people kids so my child just had to deal with this kid. Then what did he get as a punishment from his parents " That was not very nice of you." " Would you like that if someone did that to you?"

Then per other moms comments on here we should now tell him if your good tomorrow I will give you a prize. hummmmmm No! Doesn't quite sound right.

Child abusers beat there children. They make them bleed and leave bruises. A quick swat on a pant cover behind isn't abuse. It is helping your child with boundaries and letting them know how to respect you and other people.

I my opinion being from a family where 2 other siblings and I were spanked and one not spanked, I have the perfect view of how it effects children the way they respect there parents and other people, and the way they function in society as adults. Let me simply say I will keep my children in line, with a spanking if I have to.

If you choose not to spank your kids that's fine by me, I may not agree but that your choice.
I do spank mine, that's my choice. I made mine just like you made yours.


I could not have said better myself



 



* I've worked at a well respected retail store and there was one lady who had twin boys, these boys brought new meaning to hyperactive. Whenever she came into the store, she would forget about her twin boys and do shopping, mean while these two little sh*ts would run havock, play in the changing rooms, play in between the clothing racks, yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs.. I nearly tripped over them a few times- and I was  heavily pregnant. Some of the customers got to know these boys, and as soon as these boys were in the shop, our customers would leave.



She was a lovely lady but her boys were well sh*ts. She never disaplined them (I tell you we were tempted many times but thats not our place), only told them to stop. They didn't take notice of what she said.



We had on another occaision where a customer left her son in our store so she could go to a store opposite ours. She came back to get him and he was gone, She happened to come across our Assistant manager and asked her where her son was, our 2ic replied "I haven't seen him" the lady then said "and You call yourself a sales assistant? yeah right" the 2ic said "I'm not a babysitter".



The other thing that used to piss me off, i used to work at a department store and we had a toy department. The amount of parents who leave there kids in the toy department in unreal! kids literally turn the department upside down and when their parents come to collect thier kids 99% of parents don't make thier kids clean up their mess. And they wonder why we get shitty when we see the bomb shell!

Hannah - posted on 09/04/2009

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I think that all kids should be disciplined. They have to know their boundry.There is a time and place to do so. I think if the child is throwing a fit. Either take the child to the bathroom to be disciplined or just leave. You can never know how some people will react these days. My parents disciplined me growing up. I didn't like it but it kept me from getting into trouble. Hannah

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Quoting Anna:

I don't believe in hitting kids at all myself. The word 'spanking' makes it sound innocent but it means the same thing as hitting. My son is still a baby though and too young to be disciplined so I can't say I know anything about how to deal with misbehaving children. I understand why you would want to. But the reason I say it's not ok is from my experience as a child. It really made me hate my mother when she did it to me even though she thinks what she did was harmless. I didn't respect her for it because it was a sign she was losing control of herself. I would want to teach my children it's not ok to use violence against other people but you can't teach them that if you use it yourself. Maybe you could try a behaviour chart where your kids earn stars for being good and lose them for being bad. When they earn a reward, it doesn't have to be expensive, it could just be doing something fun with them.
In New Zealand we just had a national vote on the subject of whether parents should be allowed to hit their hits and 90% thought yes!


Yes and I was among that 90% of  people.



Who are goverment to tell me how to dissapline my child?



And not all forms of disapline works for every child!



I was smacked as a child and also emotionally abused, I don't agree with the way my parents raised me but I will be "spanking" my son if he refuses to listen.



I don't believe that spanking my son will make him be a violent person and grow up to assault people.



My parnter, too was raised with spankings, his father walked out on him, his brother and his mother. He was spanked growing up but was also taught to respect women etc.

Amanda - posted on 09/04/2009

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I am a first time mom and my daughter recently turned two years old. I'm doing my best as a parent, especially since my mom and my mother in law have both passed away...both prior to my daughter being born. Growing up, I did get a very few spankings, three to be exact, and I still remember what they were for. My parents were very good, loving people who believed that you try what you can and if the child refuses to listen, ignores you and continues with the wrong behavior..then yes, you get a spanking. I am a very well adjusted person, I grew up with a definate sense of right and wrong and of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. I intend for my daughter to be raised the same way. If she is seriously misbehaving in public, I would try what I could and if as a last resort we had to go to the bathroom or to the car for discipline, then so be it. People these days have nothing better to do than to stick their noses in where they don't belong, unless it is painfully obvious that abuse is occuring (and you can tell a difference between abuse and discipline), then stay out of it. A lot of what is wrong these days is that everyone is trying to be politcally correct, you know, the system wasn't broken before, don't try to fix it now! If time outs work, if talking works, if reward systems work for you, by all means..continue with it. But, everyone is different, children are different and therefore, discipline needs to be appropriate for the child and the situation. Just my opinion ladies, good luck to one and all and God Bless!!

Hollee - posted on 09/03/2009

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When we're out, no matter where, our form of discipline is time out. I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old and whenever we ask them if they want to go to timeout they usually straighten up pretty fast. If not, we tell them to go and they do (when we're out we obviously go with them or take them to the restroom for a 'behavior talk'). After a couple minutes we ask them if they're ready to get out and be good. Every child is different though. I've seen parents out in public try just about every trick in the book to get their kids quiet but sometimes they can be stubborn and a little smack on the tush is the only thing that might work. I don't think it's right to grab kids and jerk them around while raising your voice at them though...I've seen some people do that and as much as you might not want to butt in, it's hard not too. Basically, I see no problems with it as long as it's not over the line.

Bethany - posted on 09/03/2009

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I spank for rebellious behavior, not just childish behavior. I would suggest taking them to an empty room, your car, somewhere private in order to discipline. If you spank in public people tend to freak out and you may get CPS called on you, even though spanking (not the abusive kind) is completely legal. Also, I would avoid spanking in front of others because it humiliates the child, especially those slightly older, which is not healthy for your relationship with him or her.

My husband and I work very hard on making sure our daughter obeys at home, so we don't tend to have very many scenes in public and don't generally have to worry about it.

Samantha - posted on 09/03/2009

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i agree but then again i dont because i'm 21 almost 22 and my mother use to disipline us and if she wasnt home then my dad would tell us wait till your mother gets home and the she'd get on to us but i was spanked by my mother and I listen and respecter her more than my dad but i show respect towards my elders like my mother taught us girls and my niece i will do the same with my daughter just have my husband in the disipline role too but ican talk to my mom about anything and know i'm not going to get into trouble for it my mother always told us girls you can always come to me and tell me anything just rememeber for every action there is always a conceqence and i belive in that to the fullest

Angela - posted on 09/03/2009

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I guess I don't care what other people think...if i need to do something to get my sons attention, i'll do what I have to do to make him understand. But never ever beat, obviously. :)

Sabrina - posted on 09/03/2009

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Before I worked in childcare I didn't believe in spanking a child. Now that I have seen what happens when a child is allowed to run the house I see how important it is to use different techniques based upon each individual child. My daughter...she sometimes needed a little swat on her tooshie to get her attention. Now that she's 4 she rarely needs it. A good stern look and a firm voice gets her attention in public. NEVER negotiate with a child. Obedience is NOT optional no matter what setting you are in. You must be consistent and they will understand their boundaries. So whether you spank, use time out, or whatever...do it with love and respect and communicate with them what the problem is and they will behave more appropriately :)

Tabitha - posted on 09/03/2009

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i take my kids into the bathroom so now when they are bad i just say do you need me to take you to the bathroom. and they stop doing what ever it is they were doing. don't listen when ppl say not to spank the bible says to and later in life your kids will be good and theirs won't most wild kids were never spanked just don't beat them

Samantha - posted on 09/03/2009

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you dont know me but I belive that if your child doesnt follow your rules then they should be disiplined right then and there cause if you wait till you get home or let it go then that teaches them that when they are out in public or somewhere that its okay because you're not willing to disipline them then or they may even forget what they are in trouble for if you wait till you get home

Kris - posted on 09/03/2009

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Spanking my child in public..No way...Never done that and wont ever. Even at home I never spank them, I think talking to them nicely and having good relationship with them is the best way to let them listen and follow your rules.

Brittany - posted on 09/03/2009

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If you spank your child or not is up to you. According to the law in Ohio, where I live, it is only legal to spank your child three times on the rear with your hand. Any other situation is considered abuse. Then again when most of the moms here were children we got swatted at little things no matter who was around. I would never let the behavior go on, if you let them misbehave in public then the will also misbehave in private.

Kerensa - posted on 09/03/2009

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I spank my children if they need it. I have smacked hands and given a swat in public and thankfully have never encountered anyone who accused me of abusing my kids. They do have to push it pretty far to have a spanking in public especially since I will try to give them a warning and deny a priveledge first. My kids sometimes get over-excited and I cannot calm them down enough to focus and listen to me when I warn them. Usually several other people have looked at me to see what I am going to do next. I let the situation determine the discipline that is doled out. I do not frown upon others who do spank their children. I believe that most mothers do it as a last resort. I feel that I give my kids the opportunity to do the right thing before I spank. That is their chance to act like an "adult". However, they are not adults and in my opinion should not be treated like adults. I am trying to teach them how to become responsible adults and in order to do that there must be consequences that they understand. I ask myself what kind of person do I want them to turn out to be? A whiner who gets what they want or a person who has respect for other people (including me) and shows it.

[deleted account]

I personally spank my children when needed. If we are in public I kind of whisper in my daughters ear about how her behavior is wrong and that I will spank her if she keeps being bad. If that doesn't get her to calm down I will lightly spank her hand in public. But, do it in a way so that it affects her. I think children are more afraid of the "spank" and not afraid of how hard you do it. Just the motion of it!

Michelle - posted on 09/03/2009

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If kids do not know their are consequences for bad decisions or bad behavior they will go throuh life thinking they can get away with anything. In my opinion...those little bottoms were given extra padding so parents can paddle them when they step out of line. It is not abuse to discipline with love....public or privately it is your decision and your child.They do not come with instruction manuals so you just have to do the best you can. I personally did not negotiate. I am their mother not their friend. Have a blessed day.

Sherry - posted on 09/03/2009

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Lori, I agree to an extent. I believe in a swat on the hiney when it comes to toddlers, but I strongly disagree w/ spanking, hitting, after the age of 5 or 6..even younger in some situations. It does affect the person you are if you are "abused" meaning being spanked on a regular. But, a spanking in the toddler sense... I say, do what you have to do, but use it as a last resort.

Sherry - posted on 09/03/2009

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Sandy, I was referring more to young children, I have 2 older kids, 14 & 11 & I don't think I've had to spank them since they were 5 or 6 tops. After that age, they should be listening a little more to the rules & I use "taking things away" as my punishment. I was spanked/beaten as a child, all the way to 9th grade, It tears your kids down as beings if you take a spanking past a certain age. They loose self worth & confidence. Speaking from experience, I strongly suggest anyone not to spank past that age... I appreciate you imput.

Nicole - posted on 09/03/2009

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Yes, and I am assuming maybe you read the book "between parent and child" that teaches that style of parenting you used with your 12 year old. That is great for you, I have tried the same thing with my little one and we will see if it works she's only 19 months so she is too young to spank anyway, but I still go through and say to her calmly "I realize mommy made you mad b/c of .... but those are the rules....etc,etc. But I will say I have 5 little brothers that are from 17 to 6 years old and that approach never worked, kids are different, they would look at you like you were crazy if you used that approach and keep on doing what they were doing. It is a lot easier only having one or two, I know I have one daughter and a step-daughter. By the way, yes hitting a child b/c he or she hit is totally ignorant, that is obvious!

Lori - posted on 09/03/2009

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I raised my daughter without shouting or spanking and she is a great,well-behaved,great kid. I was raised with spanking and all it did was push me away from my parents. They now wish that they had not taken that approach. What signal does that send to your child when you hit them when they need guidelines? It escalates the stress of the situation and little is learned. They learn that you handle things by hitting...but then do you spank them for hitting others???? I did the opposite,I would remove my daughter from the situation if possible and talk to her very calmly about what I expected and why her behaviour wouldn't work. I always started it,even when she was tiny with "I know how much you like being a good girl and I am always so proud of you for being one,so this is what I want...expect..." I worked really hard on catching the behaviours that I wanted and always complimented her and would also reward really big things. She is 12 now and we are extremely close,she tells me things,that other parents don't hear about,as their children are afraid of being punished. My daughter knows that I have her best interest in mind and want to help her by discussing things that come up. She makes very good choices around me or behind my back. I would highly recommend reading up on other methods. I am not some strange mom,just one,who knew that spanking had not left me with good feelings for my parents.

Nicole - posted on 09/03/2009

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I feel that like some others, if they are in danger, I would smack, but 9 times out of ten a raised voice works. But I hate screamers, naggers etc. that is how my mom did it and I never listened to her like I did my dad. My dad was the spanker and I think I got spanked a total of 3 times by him, I agree with Lisa Moreau that it is humiliating, of course it is! That is the point, not to physically hurt them! But, dad never had trouble with me, whereas with my mom, I new I could get her to break eventually. Basically......spanking should be the last resort, but the fear of being humiliated kept me in line and I thank my dad for that because without him I could have turned into a prima donna, spoiled brat like sooooo many American kids are today! Never helping their families or others, and only do so if it benefits themselves!

Jessica - posted on 09/03/2009

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Pam very very rarely because when I tell my kids something I 99% of the time follow through with it and they know I mean business. My son is my biggest challenge so he is who has to leave most of the time. And I have left my dinner went to the van with my son or left a play group or whatever. With dinner I am usually with my husband and we usually spilt the time so no one but my son misses out on it.

Pamela - posted on 09/03/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

In my opinion if we are in public and my children can not behavior the way they are required to. Then we leave. And it doesn't matter where we are or what we are doing. And then when we get home they stand in time out. I don't find spanking very affective at all. I have 4 children and have do this with all of them. One thing I do before we leave the car is go over the rules. Even with the 20month old. And they know you break the rule you are leaving.



How often do you have to leave functions?

Minnie - posted on 09/03/2009

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Quoting Emily:

SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD!!! Enough said...If its in the bible....it has to be true....



"If it's in the bible, it has to be true" That's a pretty loaded statement.



 



But concerning "spare the rod spoil the child" No.  That is not in the Bible.  Sorry.  It's a common misconception, but it is found in a poem called Hudibras, by Samuel Butler, on the subject of domestic discipline in the bedroom.

Minnie - posted on 09/03/2009

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Quoting Nancy:



Quoting Lisa:

"Well, considering I feel striking your child at all to be completely unacceptable, definitely not in public. I believe that children deserve every ounce of respect that adults do. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be hit by the person you most love. And in public? How shameful and embarrassing. But it seems like you believe that spanking= discipline and no spanking=no discipline."     "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. "  Luke 6:37 NIV






Lol, how does quoting the NIV prove a point?  The subject of the post is 'spanking your child in public...accetable?"  And I do not think it is, nor do I think it is any time.  It's not a matter of 'personal choice' or how you like to twist scripture to make it ok to hit your children, but a matter of human rights, and children's rights to bodily integrity.



 

Betty Jo - posted on 09/03/2009

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Just tell them if they won't be good you will and think of a toy they really like and take it away for a couple days

Kiaya - posted on 09/03/2009

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I gave up on spanking. Now I just tell my almost 2 year old that if he does knock it off I'm telling his daddy when he gets home. I used it only as a last resort but my son seriously thought it was funny when I spanked him haha. When his dad spanks him or even says he might boy howdy he listens. My husband does not hurt him at all! So please don;t get that idea I think it just has more to do with his deeper voice and he takes action at the appropriate times and then when my son calms down my husband usually appologizes for spanking him but then explains why he needed to get his attention. My son and husband are buddys so my son after not seeing his dad all day would rather play with his dad when he gets home instead of getting in trouble by his dad. In public I think if it is absolutely needed to get the childs attention then by all means, if there are other ways though that are possible to walk away from the situation then I think that approach should be taken. There are plenty of times my husband and I have left a restaurant or store just to step outside with our son and let him cool down then explain why we had to get up and out of there. I think children are exactly that children and personally I do not want my children to walk all over me for the rest of my life so they need dicipline from us as adults not bribery or gifts, and their behavior may interrupt errands or shopping but they do not have to ruin the whole day. I also think it is important to remember snacks because kids get hungry more often than us and that they are probably tired especially if you have been in and out of a car all day.

Jennifer - posted on 09/03/2009

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I believe that spanking should be a last resort unless their is immediate danger to the child. ie( running in parking lot). I think that for the most parts their are things you can try first before spanking. If your out in public it is just to risky for a situation to look the wrong way. I have spanked my kids however I think it should not be for kids under 2 and kids over 8. I understand others think that spanking is the first choice but It should be your last. Well that's my two cents.

Jackie - posted on 09/03/2009

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I have two children. My oldest I would only have to say "They have a washroom here". When she was little I would tell her that if she didn't stop I would take her to the washroom and she would get a spanking. Once she tested the theory to see if I really would. So i did and since then I only have to say that famous line.



As for my son, I have had to spank him in public for hitting and kicking me. Just one little tap on the bum and then a time out in public. When its all over and done with a talk and hug and kiss. You would be surprised the responce you get. Honestly, I have never gotten a poor responce. Most people are happy I dealt with it the way I did.



I do recommend you check the laws in your area. In Ontario Canada it is legal to spank a child between the ages of 2-12, only on a clothed butt with a hand and only by a biological parent.



I think its better to deal with the behaviour whatever way works for your child then to ever let it go. The second you start not following thru is the second they start walking all over you.

Clare - posted on 09/03/2009

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i think it depends on whats happening. if your child is determined to run in the road for example (which happened to me.) i would rather smack to stop them than have them hit by a car. the only woman to comment told me i shouldn't do it didn't even have her own children. people arround with children of their own dont even glance. i think if the child is misbehaving and wont do as they are told a smack is absolutely fine. not to often tho as it would probably not be very effective and i think that too often is wrong. they have to be doing something prety bad.

Charity - posted on 09/02/2009

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Quoting Sherry:

Lisa, sooo true! It is hard to spank in public & not think about how everyone else will put you down and so on. Most ppl say: Who cares what ppl think? But, I care...sometimes! lol. Again, I try NOT to spank at all, but will if needed. But spanking in public....still don't think I can bring myself to do it in fear of what others may think of me. How vain is that?? LOL> I don't mean to be & chances are, I will never see them ppl again in my life, so I wonder what's stopping me....



There are so many times that I go into public and my son has a nasty tantrum where he screams, tells me no, and kicks and hits and I've tried everything to distract him and keep him happy but nothing works. I know he deserves a spanking and I would if I were at home but in public I'm scared to death that some nut will call CPS on me for spanking and call it child abuse and they will take my son away from me. I only spank as a last resort and I always tell my son that I love him afterward but he can't tell anyone that because he's just learning to speak.

Anna - posted on 09/02/2009

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I don't believe in hitting kids at all myself. The word 'spanking' makes it sound innocent but it means the same thing as hitting. My son is still a baby though and too young to be disciplined so I can't say I know anything about how to deal with misbehaving children. I understand why you would want to. But the reason I say it's not ok is from my experience as a child. It really made me hate my mother when she did it to me even though she thinks what she did was harmless. I didn't respect her for it because it was a sign she was losing control of herself. I would want to teach my children it's not ok to use violence against other people but you can't teach them that if you use it yourself. Maybe you could try a behaviour chart where your kids earn stars for being good and lose them for being bad. When they earn a reward, it doesn't have to be expensive, it could just be doing something fun with them.
In New Zealand we just had a national vote on the subject of whether parents should be allowed to hit their hits and 90% thought yes!

Leah - posted on 09/02/2009

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spanking is the easeist way to discipline a child, but by spanking do we really teach them and discipline them? if ive already warned them, asked them to behave, and explained to them why they should behave, then i think i would have give them just a little smack on the butt. not too hard, though.then i would have them my kids why i did so, so they know why.

Georgia - posted on 07/18/2011

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I'm not against public spanking if its necessary. Times have really changed though. I remember one time when I was probably about six years old, I misbehaved while Mom was out shopping. I got taken to the ladies room in the store and got the spanking of my life for being disruptive. If the other ladies in the room said anything it was simply to lend encouragement to my mother.



I don't know if you would call this public spanking, but a couple of months ago I was visiting my sister when she caught her eight year old son lying to her about where he had been playing. She took him over her knee on the spot and gave him a bare bottom spanking to the point of tears. Its not the way I expected to spend a nice afternoon visiting with my sister, but I can't say it bothered me. I know how challenging kids are to raise. I respect any parent who takes the time in this busy world to discipline. As long as they don't cross the line to physical abuse, I'm for it.

[deleted account]

Hmmm interesting thread. I see lots of suggestions on how to avoid smacking, and Sherry it looks like you have an argument for every one of them. Yet, in your original post you ask if it's okay to spank them in public. Yet you argue with everyone who says no it's not okay. What was the point of your question? If you are going to smack them anyway and you don't care what anyone else thinks and you aren't willing to try any of the suggestions offered, why did you start this thread?

Nikkole - posted on 04/23/2010

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i dont think there is any thing wrong with spanking in public. I know that some people say dont do spank them in public it's embarrassing for them. well maybe next time they wont do it.

Kristy - posted on 04/22/2010

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My 2 year old will try to throw a fit in public. I give her a swat on the backside. Usually does the trick. There is a difference between spanking and beating. I see nothing wrong with public spanking.

Rachelle - posted on 04/15/2010

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we dont do public spanking b/c of "those people" mentioned previously. i ask my children if they would like to see the restroom when they are behaving badly in public. we tell them before we leave the house that that means a spanking. it usually streightens them out. or you could use the "no dessert" threat but ALWAYS follow through EVEN if their behavior improves. warning and negotiating and asking doenst work if your not tough. they behave badly then streighten up when dessert is threatened then you give it to them= a child who will act up again. be strong the first couple time and it wont happen again, trust me.

Victoria - posted on 09/08/2009

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There is nothing wrong with spanking in public. I was at the state fair and my son had been acting up for 2 hours. I tried everything. So I spanked him right there. An old man walked up to me and said " Don't hit him again please". I told him to mind his own business. 36 hrs of labor. I make the rules. Children need boundaries. There a difference in abuse and spanking. My friend takes her daughter to the car or bathroom for the spanking. 3 warnings then a trip to the car and that's the spanking.

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