Stay at Home Mom?

Tamyra - posted on 07/28/2011

I was a stay at home mom about 17 years ago with my first child and then went to work after my second child was 6 weeks out of necessity. I worked 15 years and then about 2 years ago when I became pregnant I had to quit working. My husband (I remarried) really wanted me to stay home with her. At first I was upset because I was use to working. Then I remembered how much of my 2nd child's milestones I missed. I loved seeing my first child walk for the first time. I have also recently learned our 17 month old has a speech delay and some sensory issues. I am thankful I am able to stay at home with her so I can give her the attention she needs right now. Maybe once she starts school I can work part time. I don't regret staying at home and my time will come when I can work again.

Minon - posted on 07/28/2011

I am a stay at home mom to six kids, and have been mostly since my oldest was born. He is now 15. I think it is the best thing I could have done for myself and my kids. There is no use going to work so you can pay someone else to raise your kids. Everyone's situation is different, but I am thankful I have stayed home with them.

Candyce - posted on 07/28/2011

I can see being a SAHM until my son graduates from highschool (I'm homeschooling him). Anything after that would be a stay at home wife, which I'm not really interested in doing, since it doesn't make sense to me. I didn't ever really WANT to be a sahm, and it took a little over a year to just get used to it, but this past year, I've started enjoying it more, especially as I've seen my son grow so much right in front of my eyes. I'll never have to miss a major milestone and I'll always be here when he needs me. I was at work when my baby took his first steps, so instead of walking to Mommy, he walked to my aunt.... better than a sitter or daycare worker, but still.

Stifler's - posted on 07/26/2011

I have to ask, what do you mean by always be stay at home mums. Like until the end of time and never go back to work?

Gabrielle - posted on 07/26/2011

i always wanted to be a stay at home mom but now that i am,its hard just because you dont get a paycheck and yet work so hard all day. It is a great feeling knowing your kids are with you all day but a breather is nice and the way our economy is these days it kinda stinks not having another income

Sandra - posted on 07/26/2011

Well we really can't afford for me not to work but paying for two lil ones to b in childcare was not workin out so when they start kinder I plan on workin again or sooner

Tammy - posted on 07/26/2011

In the 15 years, we've been together, my husband has afforded me the luxury of not having to work. When my daughter was born, it was like having a job and it's the best job that I'd ever had! I think though, that when she starts kindergarten in a couple of years, I might try working again part time, for the extra income. Other than that, I love not working! :)

Sandra - posted on 07/26/2011

AHello I am a kind of newbie sahm well 3 years ago I had twins so I always tell myself I am temporarily at home I will b honest it has been a real eye opener for me but I am adjusting and no I wannA work again but sometimes that seems so distant well one question to ask All sahm's do all get"lonely" cuz I sure do take care

Cathy - posted on 07/26/2011

i have been a SAHM since my first child was born 7 years ago. I graduated from college when he was 3 months old and I didn't begin a career because I opted to stay home and raise him instead. Then in 2007 we added another child to our family, followed by another in 2009. I will remain at home with them until they are all in school full time. I wouldn't trade my time at home with them for anything! They are only little once and once that time is gone you can never get it back. You can always get a job, but you can never recapture the time lost by not spending time with your children when they are small.

Sherri - posted on 07/26/2011

I have always wanted to be a SAHM and managed my dream when my oldest was 3 and my middle son was 18mo's.

I have now been a SAHM for the past 11yrs. I still love it as much as I did then.

Stifler's - posted on 07/26/2011

After we had Logan we did go away for the weekend and go out for dinner etc. Renae is only 2 months now so we probably will do all those things again but I'm just so tired right now that the future looks bleak lol. I want to finish my bachelor of nursing but in the meantime applying for a job at the drug testing place looks like fun.

Kelina - posted on 07/26/2011

I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom and now that i am i miss adult conversation sooooo much. I struggle with the household chores, we have no dishwasher and my family is the opposite of supportive. I'm going back to school in the fall but if I have my way, that won't last more than a year. My way of keeping my sanity will be farming. I love animals, You can talk to them and they don't talk back(my two year olds big word right now is NO) and to have animals you have to have space. I have two dogs. in order to walk them without having them yank me in two, they need to be run first. Anyone have bad aim? mine's terrible. I can't count how many balls i've thrown into the neighbors yard cause my aims so bad. I hit my hubby in the chest once. the sad part is i was aiming for the tree 6 feet to the right of him. I love my kids, and I love being a mother but it can get wearing. I do want to keep doing it though. No matter the state of my house, I love being home with my little ones!

Amber - posted on 07/26/2011

I have been a SAHM for 3 1/2 years and I love it. My husband and I had decided even before we had children that I would stay home with them as long as it was financially possible. I was put out on bed rest 5 weeks before I delivered my first child. At that point the job I had was no longer available for me to return to. My line of work is child care so it makes no sense for me to drop my kids off at a sitter so I can go watch someone else's kids. I love being the one to teach them things and see every step in their development. I love watching life happen through their eyes. Taking them to story hour, gym class and play group. When they are both in school (if I don't home school) then I will get a part time job to fill the time.

Kelly - posted on 07/26/2011

One of the great perks about being a sahm is that we get to do what we want whenever we want to do it--if you miss the elders from work, take you kids to visit a nursing home, or volunteer for meals-on-wheels. They love to see the young kids, and it teaches the kids how to give back to the elders and the community.

Don't do the things you don't like to do (except cooking and cleaning, hard to skip out on those, though I do know how much you miss the housekeeper & cook). Don't watch TV--It was sucking the life out of me to sit there watching the crap that was on. So now, we have no TV, but I have tons more time, and an extra $200 each month for fun stuff :) --you could use the extra $200 on a part-time housekeep service.

Why can't you go away for the weekend, drink, or talk about different things? My husband & I do all of those things...in fact, now that I'm a sahm we do them more. When I worked, weekends were spent in a mad dash catching up on chores and shopping--there was no time (or energy) for weekend getaways or wild nights. All we had to talk about was work and how stressed we were--we couldn't even talk much about J because we weren't there, his nanny was. His nanny still sits for us if we want to go out for a date or drinking with friends, but we see him much more than she does these days.

Hope I'm not prying, I'm just curious about your perspective :) Sometimes I do feel like my life is passing by at an alarming rate and I'm not really accomplishing anything....but I felt that way working too, so I'm not sure that is the answer either. Are you going back to uni? I will be working on my degree too--I think I will do a BS in sociology or psychology, then do post graduate study in family law. But I'm not completely decided yet.

Stifler's - posted on 07/25/2011

I was a nursing student and did in home care work for old people. I loved it and hated it but I much rather it to staying home with the kids, watching tv, eating, playgroup, cleaning and playing with play dough. I liked getting paid, people asking how uni was going, talking about different things, drinking and going away for the weekend. This is sad but I find that I don't have any interests, I'm not into scrapbooking and I'm not good at taking photos and I hate sport and cooking and cleaning I just want to go back to work and uni and going out on the weekend but I can't.

Kelly - posted on 07/25/2011

I do have to admit, Emma, it took me 3 tries to finally become a sahm--I kept giving up and going back to work!

What kind of work do you do? I would love to have a job that I loved so much I could not wait to return to it. I'm in the US, most of us only get 3 months maternity leave, some only get 6 weeks!

The sahm job is kind of like that for me because I get to fill my time with things that I am passionate about. It would be boring if I focused ALL of my time and energy on J (and J would be a mess!), so I fill my time with other interesting things--I am never at a loss for something to talk about at dinner!

Stifler's - posted on 07/25/2011

I am the opposite Kelly. I don't find being a SAHM fulfilling at all. I want to go back to work when Renae is 1 or even a bit younger just to do something for myself. I do not enjoy being a SAHM like I should. I don't feel important or smart or interesting when everyone else has funny stories to tell over dinner and I have "oh my kids did this... then went for a nap then I hung out washing...".

Kelly - posted on 07/25/2011

I have only been a sahm for 3 years, but I plan to continue until my son graduates high school.
I will pursue a career, albeit a small one in law or social services, afterwards.

Why? Well, I have a lot of reasons--so many it is difficult to decide where to start.

First, I guess, the obvious: I like to be available to raise my kids. When I worked, even with a nanny, housekeeper/cook, landscapers, and laundress, there was little time left for family--the day to day chores took up time, work often spilled over, and life (for us, not everyone) was just overall less rewarding. As a sahm, I have time to get my chores done before John gets home and evenings and weekends are completely devoted to family time--we feel like more than just room-mates with a common responsibility now.

Second, I never found work very fulfilling. The $$ was nice, I did pretty well financially, especially for a college drop out, but the work was just work--a means to an end. I started the businesses to pay for college and medical bills, not because I was passionate about what I was doing. As a sahm I have the freedom to do what I am passionate about--I work with underprivileged kids, and I feel like I actually impact our society in a positive way. Volunteering gives me the flexibility to manage my family while still making a valuable contribution to my community outside my home.

Third, I feel that my son needs a strong parental presence in his life, especially as he gets older. As a kid, I didn't have that, and I often had no one to ask or go to with situations and questions when I needed guidance. I also felt very unimportant--when parents miss special events in favor of work, it can make even the most hard won achievements feel insignificant. By the time I was an adult, I felt that no matter how much I did, the result would be insignificant, unimportant.

That's the tip of the iceberg. Sorry to stop abruptly, but that's all the time I have at the moment.

Just curious, what are your views on the subject?

Brianna - posted on 07/25/2011

im a stay at home mom and i have a 20 month old daughter. i havent worked since i was about 1 month pregnant (i quit me job and then found out i was pregnant a week later! then was very sick and unable to return to work while pregnannt) i love being a stay at home mom and want to remain one because i wanna be the one raising my kids not someone else. i dont wanna miss out on anything my daughter does.