stay at home mom w/ depression

Crystal - posted on 03/29/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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i am a stay at home mom w/ depression and anxiety. i have been on 2 different medications for 4 yrs. it helps a little. i have 3 girls and my fiance (their father) works 7 days a week.. my only contact with the outside world is really my tv and computer.. my mom moved away and i have no friends.. does anyone have any suggestions? easy fun activities... ANYTHING :)

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Emma - posted on 04/02/2010

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Hay, Crystal
I was in a similar situation a little while ago excluding the meds.
We where living in a Flat in a bad part of town with no garden, All my friends had drifted away when i had kids and my sister who is my best friend had to move for her hubby's new job, My hubby was working all the hours he could as we where broke, i had no transport and was really house bound as did not feel safe walking anywhere with two small kids in that area.
I was alone everyday all day with no grown up interaction except my hubby who was so tired when he would get home due to the hours he was working was not really in much of a chatting mood.
My life saver was this group and face book as i made lots of online friends and would have a standing morning Coffey chat with another stay @ home mom in OZ.
My situation has changed a bit now we managed to move out of the bad area and have a nice house with a garden, i still don't have any friends really but i feel better about things and hoping to make friends with some of my new naboughers who also have kids.
So if you want a friend to have a morning coffee chat with just let me know :-)

Grace - posted on 03/29/2010

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Ah yes, you may be misdiagnosed. I was as well. I suffered severe depression and anxiety for a good portion of my life. Then I was diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder (almost bipolar). I was on meds for the anxiety, but I didn't like how they affected me. My anxiety went away when I got an emotional support dog, and so did most of the depression.

I also don't have many friends at all where I live right now. My husband is Navy and so we move a lot. I'm alone most of the time with the baby and it sucks. But I go to the park almost everyday now that it's nicer out. I am currently planting a garden. Starting the seeds inside first and I'm going to wait until the end of April to put anything in the ground outside. That is something the kids could help out with too. It's so much fun to watch things grow! Art projects with the kids would be fun. My husband and I recently painted our daughter's feet with watercolors and made footprints on paper which I made into greeting cards to send to our family in CA.

Most of my contact is also just through the computer.

Stephanie - posted on 03/29/2010

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Hi Crystal! I'm assuming you must be seeing a doctor since you are taking medications. Are they sure you have depression? I was diagnosed many years ago with depression but once I switched doctors, I was diagnosed with bipolar and they immediately changed my meds. It made a huge difference. Is it possible that you could be misdiagnosed? There should be better meds out there. Are you having problems going out because of your anxiety? I feel for you with your fiance being gone. My husband has been in Iraq for the past 4 years so it is really hard. Have you tried just taking walks? You could see if there are Mommy and Me classes in your area. Is it possible to have someone watch your girls for a few hours during the week? It's really important that you have some alone time. You would be surprised how much that can help! I hope you feel better soon and if any issues come up, please let us know!!!

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You could find out if there are any mother and baby groups in your area. I live in the UK and SureStart funds loads of groups where you can meet other mums =]

Alina - posted on 03/29/2010

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Hey Crystal. I completely understand your feelings. I had severe post-partum depression with both my babies and remember feeling so alone. And we'd just moved to a new state, and I had no family, friends or a home of my own when I had our daughter. My husband didn't even start a new job until the day after I found out I was pregnant with her. I do the simplest of things, but it helps me. I go to church, read my Bible, listen to praise/worship music, dance (Country music is the best!), take walks, stand outside on the patio, sew and read. My husband was working doubles for months, so I'd see him a total of maybe four hours a week, which his hard to handle with a newborn and surgery! If your girls are old enough, taking them outside and running around or drawing with sidewalk chalk is fun and easy. Playing with the kids is a mood booster b/c it's just for fun and you can't be serious when you're playing. I find that I have to surround myself with things that put a smile on my face and make me laugh. I can't watch news too much or watch/read lots of dramas, anything too deep and serious that will weigh me down. I love listening to (and reading!) Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar and John Hagee. I make myself see things in a different way and change my way of thinking, too. I hope I don't sound preachy. I just know what depression is like and really care about you feeling better. Hope something helps soon. Sending you a cyber hug :)

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