Stay at home moms.....So what do you do all day.

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2010 ( 175 moms have responded )

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Does anybody else get the question SO WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY. I hate when people ask me this. Im a mother of a very active 4 year old boy and also a 2 month old girl. So what do I do all day you ask, I will tell you.....I breastfeed, change diapers, Im a chef, a house cleaner, a laundry mat, a dishwasher, a teacher to my kids, a wife, a playmate to my kids, a driver, anything else ladies. I feel very fortunate that my husband goes to work and I get to stay at home, but that does not mean that I dont work. I have the best job in the world. Even if I dont get a wage, I am rewarded with every hug, kiss, and smile. Had to vent, I so hate being asked this haha.

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Anna - posted on 08/22/2010

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I have heard that question many times too! Even from family members. No one that has never been a stay-at-home mom understands the extremely busy and sometimes overwhelming job it can be. I am busier now than I ever was when I worked. And now, besides the cleaning, cooking, errands, managing finances, I am proud to say that I am able to be there in the mornings when my children get ready for school. They always have transportation, someone to be there for all their activities at school (I volunteer a lot). And most importantly I am there to get them in the afternoon and supervise their homework while teaching them methods to help them learn every subject they are studying. Therefore they make fabulous grades which is something they are proud of. I help them manage their time between sports and studying which will come in handy when they get to middle school and high school. All these things I took for granted before... now I can see how some of this would have fallen through the cracks if I still had a job and tried to do all of this too. It's been the best decision for me and my husband, and it has reaped countless benefits for my kids!

Elizabeth - posted on 08/27/2010

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I don't think I have ever had anyone ask me this but then again I don't have alot of adult interaction. I agree totally with we. Being a stay-at-home mom is more than a full time job and at times very difficult and stressful. I have two girls whom I sent the baby off to preschool yesterday. She will go two full days a week and our oldest daughter is in kindergarten The kick in the face for me is when my own husband asks me what I did today or at times when he is angry says I don't do anything even though later he recants his statement. To me it is still offending. Like really what did i do today. The house may not always look perfect but when you have a almost 6 and a 3.5 year old running around making a mess after what you just cleaned up-sometimes it is difficult. And yes Kelsey I agree with you totally. If our husbands could only put themselves in our shoes if even for a day. And ya know there are some days when I myself am like what did i do today. Cause when I look around and things are messy but I know I have been busy all day. But busy doing things like cleaning the fridge/freezer, cleaning out drawers and cupboards. Things you don't see visually. So ladies. Give yourself a pat on the back and tell the next person that asks you this to live a day in your shoes and then they can talk to you about what you do. Have a great day.

Ava - posted on 08/26/2010

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I agree. My fiance and his family treat me like because I have to stay at home to watch the kids so he can work, that I *don't do anything* when I'm running around the house--- picking up toys, cleaning the kitchen after cooking three times a day, steam-cleaning messes out of the carpet, vacuuming, taking the dogs out six times a day (one's a puppy), picking up toys again, keeping my daughter out of knick-knacks, giving her a bath, dressing her, changing diapers five times a day. I barely *sit down* until people get home, and then they wonder what the fuck I did! It pisses me off.

Sofia - posted on 08/23/2010

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my issue isn't other people, its my husband. You know something is wrong when your own husband askes, "so what did you do all day? nothing" . drives me crazy. i think i will also write a list, and keep it in my wallet next time he or someone else asks. The hardest thing is that i am a young SAHM with 3 children and women think i'm lazy because of my age. It takes a lot to raise your children and run a household, but i like this job. I worked before and felt guilty leaving my children at the day care, or with the nanny. this is a much more lifetime rewarding job than anything else

Jennifer - posted on 08/22/2010

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I got an email from my mother in law about this, you do have a job and your title is a Research Assistant for the Department of Child Development and Human Resources if anyone threatens you about your job again ;)

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175 Comments

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Tracy - posted on 10/25/2010

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I had to laugh when I read your post.....you have taken the words out of my mouth!!! I always get red in the face when I get asked "so...what do you do all day?".......yes, we are fortunate to be home with our kids....but we sacrifice other things..like a lunch break and not having to work weekends or after 5pm!! ha ha ha...

Patty - posted on 10/19/2010

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the what do you do all day ?? is just from those that dont understand. I shock them when I say we homeschool, I get gasps, oh why, eyes rolled at me, but who cares thats what I do and love and it fits best for our family, I feel so blessed to homeschool and that our son enjoys it and we as a family can do more together.

[deleted account]

Being a stay at home mom is the hardest, most under paid payed job there is. Then again it is also the best paying job. I get paid in hugs, kisses, smiles, and I love yous. I hate it when someone tells me that I don't have a real job. Really!? You come do my "job" everyday and tell me it's not work. I have and 11 1/2yr old son who acts more like a teenager everyday. A 9yr old son who has autism and is def in one ear. He has melt downs when he gets frustrated...or like every other child, when he doesn't get what he wants. I also have a 3yr old daughter who has yet to grow out of the terrible two's. On top of that there is laundry, dishes, housework and finding time to spend with my husband.....But yeah, I don't have a real job.

Jackie - posted on 10/18/2010

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yeahh i get asked that question alot. what i do all day is clean, change diapers, feed the baby, nap when he does seeing how he is only 3 weeks old, do laundry, and much more. but it is the best job in the world. i would'nt trade it for anything : )

[deleted account]

I'm very lucky that I haven't gotten that question yet. I often get the why don't you work one though. All of my sisters are stay at home moms as well. I have found that people often ask that question when they themselves sit at home watching daytime TV when not working.

Kristi - posted on 10/18/2010

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Amen sister!!! lol, I used to work until my son turned 1. I got fired from a job of 7 years! So this was quite a change aroung for me. After numerous wasted hours of trying to find jobs that just weren't there, I decided to take online classes for Medical billing and coding. Shortly after I started school, I found out that I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with my daughter!!!! But juggling everything has been rewarding and stressful at the same time. It helps when you have a supportive husband that doesn't question what you do all day, cause lord knows he wouldn't be able to handle it as much as we do. Good luck to you.

Nikki - posted on 10/17/2010

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I feel you, Michelle! Even when a mom brings in a check from working while at home, that's still asked. It burns me up for people to assume because you're at home your in the bed, on the couch, or laying on the deck relaxing. Everything that requires the house to keep going...yep that's what I do. Going to work is much easier and routine than staying home administrating the home! When people ask me that, my response is the same...everything you don't do while you're at work. =)

Connie - posted on 10/17/2010

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I agree, we are all of the above! I have a 4 1/2 month old and i tell ya, the older they get, the more work they are! and i love it!

Tawana - posted on 10/16/2010

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me too i thought i was da only one that feels this way well at least u have a husband 2 at least help im a single parent of three 11, 16 months & 4 months but im a single mom not by choice, but god called my fiance father of my boys home & ur right i agree dis is da hardest job ever cuz it never ends its no break at all dis is a full time job i love my kids 2 death & weouldnt have it any other way, but its tireson it will all pay off when they get older though!!!!!!!

Katie - posted on 10/07/2010

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I agree! I love being a stay at home mom! It's amazing to be able to see my son learn new things every day!

Danette - posted on 10/07/2010

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I hate that too! It also drives me NUTS when people think stay at home moms have all the free time in the world! my sister was just telling me she saw a book and the title was something like Yes I'm a Stay At Home Mom,and NO I Can't Pick Your Kids Up From School. She said the book was about a lady, who was the only stay at home mom in her neighborhood, so the other moms, kept wanting her to run errands for them during the day!

Tanith - posted on 10/02/2010

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Okay...so what do you do all day? Kiddin. I'm feeling you on this one. I'm also a stay at home mom but I also work for my husband (book keeper) from home. I am never in bed before 1am, catching up on work. I am totally exhaused and we're trying for baby number 2 at the beginning of next year. Some people would say I'm insane but I LOVE IT.

Teisha - posted on 09/30/2010

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i agree with u!! my daughter is 5 months old, im a single mother and her father always goes on about me stayin home he always reckons he has it hard workin 9 hrs a day 5 days a week and he reckons i get to sleep 3,4 times a day.... like i always say to him i dont get to rest til i go to bed, i dont get lunch breaks or even a 10 min shower... and i cant call up sick when i am feelin like crap unlike him he can do all that stuff... alot of ppl dont realise what its like for mums to stay at home all day lookin after a child its tirin but also makes u think if this is ur life ( i know sometimes i feel like im goin a lil insane not havin an adult around me to talk to)

Lauren - posted on 09/29/2010

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I hate when poeple assume that we just sit in a chair all day and do absolutely nothing. Like HELLO?! I have twin girls of course I am busy all day with household duties, mommy duties anything and everything they try to cram in at the end of their work day.

Tara - posted on 09/28/2010

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oh man, if we got paid for all the salaries think about it: nurse, teacher, tutor, chaffeur, councilor, chef, maid, secretary, mediator, judge, ext ext we would be MILLIONAIRES!

Rachel - posted on 09/28/2010

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I think I got more sleep and "me time" when I was working 12 hour days at a factory.... I have an 18 month old and he runs around all day tearing things appart... or clinging to me... I tend to take 20 minutes a day to put on an episode of super why on to the tv so I can sit and hope that my son will be enthralled for the whole 20 min.... (rarely works). most of the time the house is a disaster because I have to stop half way through everything in order to stop my son from trying to kill himself in some new way/eating something/falling/needing the diaper changed that I just changed 5 minutes ago because he decided to have an epic poop and it is going everywhere. then my husband comes home wondering what I did all day.... dinner is not done (havn't had a moment to think about what i am going to make, then when I try to get him to help with the baby so I can make dinner.... well I tend to be trying to make dinner with a son who is crying and wanting to be picked up ... and all I want is to get some sleep... waking up 2 or more times a night .... sorry had to vent a bit too :P I do love staying at home with my darling but really I am on call 24/7 and I can't leave him with family for a weekend because he is still nursing...

Laura - posted on 09/28/2010

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I'm finding being a SAHM a little easier now my son is walking and climbing and entertaining himself a bit more... even with the housework and cooking that goes along with it... in saying that I have a second baby on the way so I guess I better enjoy it now because next year it's going to be hectic!!! :)

DIANA - posted on 09/27/2010

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My brother asked me once "So what do u do, BUY GROCERIES ALL THE TIME" Oh yeah I said I do !!!

Nikki - posted on 08/27/2010

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Tell them to walk a mile in your shoes. I have 4 boys and I constantly have to do dishes and laundry to keep up. Not to mention all the cleaning, chauffering, shopping, homework assistance, yard care, and many more things that I'm too tired to think of. The hugs I get make it so worthwhile. No matter what I have to do this is the best time of my life. I think there are some people who are jealous. Im not sure why they would even care, they should examine their own lives not yours.

Yasmin - posted on 08/27/2010

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You go Girl. Being a Stay at Home parent is one of the most challenging and rewarding rolls. We are experts at multi tasking, and very rarely give ourselves, or have for ourselves a moment of rest as there is always something that has to be done.I am a mother of 4, and although at times i feel i would love to quit, when the night is morning and i have my coffee and see my babies smile....there is nowhere else i would rather be. Yasmin :)

[deleted account]

i get asked that frequently by a male friend who has no kids and is not married... he's not actually challenging me or being rude, he just seriously is in awe of the fact that there could be so much to do as a stay at home mum! I never really quite know how to answer him, i just tell him, its full on, and I love it. It's hard to explain what I "do" since its not like a 9-5 job, every day is different... he still asks me next time he sees me, not because he's a smart alec, but because he is actually extremely curious and intrigued hahaha.

Kelsey - posted on 08/27/2010

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i hate being asked that My husband asks me that everyday.. that and when i say can you change your sons diaper i get the I just Got home from work You change him... When do SAHM get to say that.. oh wait we dont, when i ask him to do anything really he says i Work all Day. And what You think i sit here and watch the kids make a mess and they feed themselfs. I have a 21 month old and a almost 3 month old.. so i have lots of Diapers and im potty training YAY..potty Training and breatfeeding dont mix well lol. i love staying at home with my kids but some day i think he would understand more if he stayed home with them for a week.. He would go crazy he would be phoneing me every 5 mins saying HELP!!! lol

Sinead - posted on 08/27/2010

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I don't agree that the Working mums have the same amount to do as the stay at home mums.. Most daycare's i know feed the kids at lunch possibly even dinner and breaky. Also by having your child in daycare you are not running after them checking on everything they are doing or cleaning up after them every night because they are not home during the day to make a mess!!!
Some mums love going out to work and talking to adults yes they may get the guilt feeling but they have Adult conversations during the day!
Neither work harder then the other But each has its pros and cons.

Jennifer - posted on 08/27/2010

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amen to that sister but dont you ever find yourslef rippin your hair out cuz your sick of looking at the same shit day after day

Giovanna - posted on 08/26/2010

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i TOTALLY get you!everyone thinks i exaggerate when i tell them all i do is clean and look after my baby.i rarely have time for myself!even my husband says i have it easy=/ it's frustrating how some people don't get what stay at home mom's go through...they think all we do is sit around and watch tv all day or something!lol.it's very frustrating at times,since my husband works outta town for two months at a time,but i LOVE it!&& i love how much my mother-in-law complains on how active and tiring my 15 mo. old is.did she think i was exaggerating?lol

Charlena - posted on 08/26/2010

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That question wouldnt bother me if i didnt have any kids and was just sitting around the house all day , but its like i have a 3year old and im 9 months pregnant so wtf do you think i do all day is what i will say ! LOL

Ashleigh Edmond - posted on 08/26/2010

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My husband seems to thing being a SAHM, I get to sit around and do nothing. Well being a mother of a 7-month old daughter. I left exactly what I did all day on the front door step just so he could see. Around 14-15 wet/dirty diapers, and a couple of empty jars of baby food. Plus, the house was spotless & dinner on the table. I believe he has a new-found respect for me now..

Marissa - posted on 08/26/2010

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i agree 120%!! i love being a stay at home mom. its the best job in the world!

Melanie - posted on 08/26/2010

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I think that people with children that work outside the home don't realize that a SAHM has at least one child getting toys out at all times. We hand make every meal. When one goes to work and drops off their child they come home to a place that has been free of new spills, dishes and dirty diapers and so on, for the last 8 hours! And it's pretty close to bed time. They obviously still wash dishes and laundry etc. but not to the extent a SAHM does. My answer to "So what do you do all day?" is "Have more time, control and patience for my child and what she learns than I would if I exhausted myself on something less important than my future for 8 hours a day." Because our children are our legacy. They are going to be the last part of you that is still here when you are gone.

Heather - posted on 08/26/2010

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Yeah my MIL has said that (in not so many words) keeping the house clean is important enough to neglect my child... huh?

Zoii - posted on 08/26/2010

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my partner told me that i sat on my ass all day and did nothing .. so the next day i did just that .. oh i fed the children and supervised when needed .. but he came home to a mess and didnt like it ..he asked me what i had been doing and i said i was sitting on my ass all day like you think i do ... he now doesnt say it when he comes home to a clean house

Diane - posted on 08/26/2010

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I always tell people I do the same thing as the hard-working nanny you praise about. They are speechless after that.

Denyse - posted on 08/26/2010

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House cleaning, cooking, keeping an eye on my kid, to keep her out of trouble. She loves to go grocery shopping, which I think is funny. I read books to her, or play games to help her learn her numbers and the alphabet. We would fly a kite or play baseball, or blow bubbles. Having a four year old keeps you on your toes.

Amanda - posted on 08/26/2010

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I agree with you! i hate getting asked that question also. just because we stay home does not mean that we just sit around and not do anything! i also have a 4 year old and a 2 month old. i do the samething every day and most of the time by the end of the day my living room and her room looks like i havent even touched it! it really gets on my nerves. i wish that we could all just have alittle break every once in awhile!

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2010

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I used to be afraid of this question,especially when it comes from a working mother,until it came to me one day while i was in between folding laundry,answering the phone,doing the dishes,cleaning house,organizing things,cooking for the kids and taking them outside to play,going grocery shopping(with all the kids)running errands and trying to remember where I put my cup of coffee that,I'm not lazy,I'm very busy with living my life and caring for my children.things change on a daily and I couldn't be happier

DIANA - posted on 08/26/2010

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Oh yes, even my sister in law says. "Well sahm have it easy". AHHH want to scream at her face so bad. Exactly she could not tolerate staying at home. I

Kayla - posted on 08/26/2010

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I am a stay at home mom and whenever someone saying something like that has upset me, my fiance tells me not to worry, cause when he is at work he spends half the day sitting around with nothing to do lol and he isn't the only one with not enough work to keep him busy. SAHM however ALWAYS have something to do!

Michelle - posted on 08/26/2010

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My ex-husband never realized that being a sahm is work too. But my fiancée does, in fact I had a job at the beginning of the year (before I got pregnant) and he stayed at home with my daughter.

He fully (thank goodness) understands what it takes to be a stay at home parent.

Heather - posted on 08/26/2010

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I wish my husband knew how hard I work all day. He says, that all I do all day is change a couple of diapers!!!???

Annaleigh - posted on 08/26/2010

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I was a single stay at home mom for a year before becoming a fiance/expectant stay at home mom. cleaning up after him is more work than 2 kids!! he knows better than to ask me what I do, and now with 3 kids most people know I have my hands full and are more polite. plus, with school on top of hose, kids, hubby...I really have my hands full!

Melissa - posted on 08/26/2010

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my husband asks me that question at least twice a week, and i ask him if he'd like to trade the answer is always the same a flat no! plus with all the work we do the hugs and kisses make it all worth it.

Bridgette - posted on 08/26/2010

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I tell him i eat bon bons. I am the everything here. Anything needs doing I am expected to get it done. Lawn, roof, oil changes for cars, laundry, dinner, whatever it is its my job and now im supposed to get a handle on the finances too. Along with keeping my autistic son when hes home from being agressive with his sister. Feeding the cats, and dog etc.

Alice - posted on 08/26/2010

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I love it when people ask me that!! I just say:

I provide a safe and healthy environment for my 4 girls, husband, and myself.
I tend our cattle, chickens, guineas, orchard, and gardens. (we have a farm)
I home-school my oldest two daughters, tutor two high school students, and occasionally tutor and babysit for others.
I make specialty cakes, maintain an ebay store where we sell jewelry & recycled stuff, work on assignments from my dad (we have a website design business), spend 2 to 4 hours a day working my online coaching business (my main income maker), and manage to sneak a few minutes here and there for writing (I'm also a published author).
Plus, if it's one of the kid's bowling league, softball, or dance days, I tack that on too. Then I finish with...
"What did you do all day?"
Usually, they can't close their mouth to respond. lol!

Lori - posted on 08/26/2010

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I have to say...I am on board with what you have to say about it...I've been a stay at home mom for many years and it is very rewarding! It wasn't until my kids all got married and moved out that I looked for something to do to make money and still have the freedom lifestyle to play with my kids and grandkids now :-)

Marcie - posted on 08/26/2010

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I know how you feel, it is a blessing and yet can be somewhat of stressful at times.lol, people think oh that's nothing or that's so easy but no not whenever you are like me or in your case you. I have one girl who is 3 and a boy who is 2 and trust me it aint the easiest thing in the world especially whenever grandma comes home they think they can get anything they want.lol but like you said it never goes unrewarded, we get the pleasures of seeing how much they learn from us through being their and we get the pleasures of watching them learn new words and grow up and ect. Sure i could do with out all the dishes and cleaning and laundry and all but that is just what it takes. Glad to have caught this posting it makes me feel like i am a great mother to 8-D

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