Stay at home or work to be happier at eod for my kids?

Jana - posted on 07/10/2017 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I've stayed at home with my kids the past 8 years. I'm just fried and not a happy mom. This fall I'll have two kids in school full time and my 3 yr old could start some preschool. I've been offered a part time job teaching preschool at my kids private school. This would force my youngest into 5 day morning instead of the two day morning I would have chosen for her, and not give me any kid free time. I worked for 10 years in a corporate environment prior to having kids and I do miss work. My question is do I take this opportunity to work part time and still be available for my kids, or pass it up and instead have a few short hours each week for the first time in 8 years for myself or to peacefully run an errand?

If I don't take this position i would also need to change my two older kids to public school because we decided we cannot pay for three kids in private.

At the end of the day, I'm burned out and want to be a better, happier mom for my kids. My husband does not help me ever with kids or household so I don't get any breaks or outlets. I wonder if teaching preschool part time would give me an outlet or make me feel even worse off than I already do.

Advice?

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Juni - posted on 07/12/2017

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After more than ten years staying with my two kids at home, I know that I need to go outside and start my social life again. When I was offered a part-time job at the old school where children went, I immediately took it. The reasons were I still could see my kids at school, I could pay attention to their friends and what they were up to at school, I became familiar with the school system, I could give some opinions about things that school could improve, and I could meet teachers and parents at that half day school time. Through this process, I felt better about myself since I gave my productive time for people. Feeling accomplishment made me think differently about life too. Also, my paycheck helped with the tuition which was a big deal.
It made my house empty for a half day which meant a less messy room that I need to clean later on that evening. In my case, I was happy to take that part-time job.
But it is back to you to decide, whether you want to work with children or adults. Teaching is a not only a profession but also a calling. Only you know your heart. If you love kids, love being with children, have a bountiful capacity of the patient, maybe you can give it a shot. I hope you get a peaceful mind in making this decision.

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Pam - posted on 07/15/2017

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Wow, 8 years of investing in your kids is awesome. I tried to be a stay at home mom and lasted three months. I needed the challenge of work. While no one can make this decision for you, I suggest trying the part time job. You may find it rewarding. As for the husband helping, if it's not a situation where he is unavailable, perhaps talk with him about watching the kids while you shop, get a quick nap, get a haircut, etc. Maybe mention how important he is to the kids and that investing time in them will help them grow into better adults. He could get the opportunity to learn their likes/dislikes. If he's nervous about it, maybe they could play Interview, where he asks questions about their favorite food, movies, hobbies, friends, etc. Prayers for finding balance in all of your lives.

Michelle - posted on 07/11/2017

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Only you can make that decision.
Have you spoken to your husband about helping out? I view marriage as a partnership and that means in everyday life as well. He helped create the children so he can actually help look after them. He also makes a mess in the house that he can help clean.
Back to your question about working, it depends if you actually want a break from children or not. Have you looked around to see if there are any part time jobs in retail or hospitality? Even the industry where you used to work?
The longest I stayed home with any of my children was 18 months but is that time I did have my own party plan business and also was on the P&C and ran the uniform shop at school. I was so ready to go back to work to have some adult conversation and be a better Mum for my kids. I felt having some time away made us appreciate each other more.

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