Struggling with being a new stay at home mom

Catalina - posted on 04/26/2012

I understand! Looks like online friends might be your salvation!! :-)

Nicki - posted on 04/26/2012

Thank you so much for all the responses and encouragement! I cant tell you how much I appreciate it....



I guess I should have added in my original post that part of the problem with being lonely stems from the fact that I live in literally the middle of farmland nowhere in Illinois. There isnt a "bigger" town for about 20 miles and there are no meet up groups or mom groups for about 35+miles. It makes things even harder to meet new people because everything is 20-30 min drive away and with only 1 person working right now we dont have the money for me to be driving that far very often :(



I'll definitely start walking with him again once the weather warms up, its gotten cold and rainy here so going outside isnt really possible most days. On the plus side, its really green and beautiful outside.

Jennifer - posted on 04/25/2012

I have been a stay at home mom for almost 4 years. Up until then, I worked 5-6 days a week, and was even a single mom for a while. I was always on the go. Here are a few things that always helped me (sorry if some of these are repeats, I didn't have time to read all the previous posts)

*Start your day out every day getting a shower and getting dressed. Even if you don't go anywhere, it amazing how just getting out of your pj's makes you feel so much better

*Make an effort to go somewhere at least 2-3 times a week, more if possible. I used to grocery shop 2x a month, but I found making it so I had to go every week worked wonders. I had no choice, we needed food/items, and I had to get out of the house to get them.

*Find a hobby that you enjoy, then search for meet up groups in your area. For me, it was couponing. I started getting into it about a year or so ago, and found a group in my area that meets once a month. That may not seem like much, but I know once a month, I get to get out with other women, and have some adult time.

* Lastly, don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. I can't tell you how many times I have taken the kids to the park or McDonalds, and just started talking to another mom there. It's kind of wierd, because I have always been a pretty shy kind of person, but it's easy looking at a baby and asking the mom how old he/she is, and let it go from there. Sure usually nothing comes of it (like a friendship), but even if it is for 10min or so, it feels good to talk to an adult for a while.

Janna - posted on 04/25/2012

Hi Nicki! I know exactly how you feel.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was put on bedrest and THEN I lost my job when I was 37 weeks pregnant. So started my full time stay at home mom status. (I'm also single and have a 4 year old son.)
I was 25 when I lost my job and I have had work since I was "legal" to work -- 14 years old. The longest I didn't have a job was 4 months due to relocation. (I was working 15 hour days, 7 days a week before I moved. Quite a switch.)
Now I find myself in the same situation as you. I'm at home with the kids all day, and I don't have an "outlet."
I was in the same routine also ... It feels as though it's never-ending.
It is a major change and it is overwhelming at times, but don't worry. It does get a little easier. I feel bad because I don't work. I've tried work from home sites and selling items on ebay and yardsales. Something to help a little.

Baby weight is difficult to shed. For some it is more difficult than others. Not being able to be active and even WALK is my downfall. I don't know what kind of area you live in, but just take the baby for a walk in the stroller. The vitamin D from the sun will do you good. :-) I always feel better after spending some time in the sun.
I feel down too... I'm pretty sure we all do. Chin up. :-) It will get better and enjoy that baby boy of yours while you can. They grow up too quick!!!

Catalina - posted on 04/25/2012

Hi Nicki,



You are so NOT alone!!



My name is Cat, I'm 25 also with an almost 12 month old son. I worked full time up until pregnancy also!



It's so so hard to change from being productive, and social to being at home with baby!



I had a really difficult time too! I started walked everywhere with my son, partly so I wasn't sitting at home loosing my mind and partially because I was also having a hard time loosing my baby weight!



I started doing every mommy and baby activity I could find! I met a ton of moms who are now some of my closest friends!



Anyway, I would love to be your friend, you can write to me on here or email me? Whatever is the easiest for you!



Best wishes,

C

Darlene - posted on 04/25/2012

Find a moms group to go too. Have you ever heard of MOPS group. I went there when my first daughter was born. It was awesome. Check it out online. Hope I was help too you.

Alison - posted on 04/25/2012

You are so right Nicki. You are not the only mom who feels this way. Look into baby stimulation programs or even breastfeeding clinics to meet other moms. You need to get out of the house, you need to get outside stimulation and you need to meet other moms who share your challenges.

Look at this as a new job. You just need to find the right strategies to make it work and to find your fulfillment in it.

While you are still working on building your network, take your baby out for a stroll, take him to the library, to a café. Try to find outside activities at least 3 times a week, even if that means your laundry sits undone for another day.

Chrystal - posted on 04/25/2012

First off hi, it's nice to meet you. My name is Chrystal I'm 26, I'm a stay at home mom of a 10 month old and 22 month. I'm here if you'd ever like to talk. The best way to get out of the new baby funk is to literally get out. Go to the park, story time at the library, YMCA activities, walks, moms groups, check out meetup.com to see what groups are in your area you might like. Just because you had baby doesn't mean you've got to be chained to the house. You took 9 months to put on that baby weight it'll take time for it to come off so don't stress over it to much. If grazing is your problem than set yourself up for success put fruits, veggies, low fat cheese, nuts, etc in your house so that when you want to mindlessly eat it's all healthy food. Something that helps me to not feel down on myself is getting dressed everyday lounge wear is not aloud it has to be real live clothes that I would go out of the house in. Your body, your hormones, and your life has all changed it's totally normal to feel a bit off center. It'll get easier and you'll find your new norm.