The "ODASITY"!!

Amal - posted on 12/20/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )

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Stay at home moms are blamed for everything!!! we are the begining & the end..we are always between a rock and a hard place...we are seldom thanked for anything...everything we do is taken for granted while done by other working moms it suddenly becomes an acheivement!!!....but US GOD FORBIDD!! " we are lazying all day ..with all the time in the world to do things..!

i am tired of this attitude from everyone ..my 8 year old boy came home from school the other day and after the daily battle of feeding &doing homework & entertaining so as to be delightfull & pleasant he has the ODASITY to tell me " Why dont you get DOLLED UP like the teachers at schools?" HA.....well maybe if i didnt have to cook your meals, go grocery shopping, do the laundry , clean the house & waite for your majesties arrival i might be able to!!!

I think stay at home moms should stand up for themselves & declare that they are actually doing more work than working moms . like the katy perry song goes :You took my light, you drained me down
But that was then and this is now
Now look at me
This is the part of me
That you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no

LET US ALL BE STRONG!!

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Jodi - posted on 12/21/2012

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"*I think stay at home moms should stand up for themselves & declare that they are actually doing more work than working moms ."

Um, yeah, right. You do realise that working mums and SAH mums work just as hard as one another? Who do you think does the laundry, cleaning, cooking, bathing, shopping, helps with homework, gets up at night, looks after sick kids, etc, for the family in the household of a working mum. Yep, the working mum (with a bit of help from the working dad). Your high horse is a bit too high. You might want to lower it before you get hurt, honey.

This is not a war against working mums, this is your son being a totally ungrateful and insensitive little shit.

And by the way, the word is "audacity". Just thought I should point that out.

Jodi - posted on 12/23/2012

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Amanda is generalising. But no, she didn't hit a nerve at all. Not ALL working mothers miss time with their kids, and most working mothers turn the time into quality time (and we are usually only talking an hour or two after work less time if the kids are in school). I've seen SAHMs at home with their kids who don't spend time with them either. Sure, they are there, but they are not spending real time with their kids. So EITHER working mum or SAHM can miss out on time with their kids. A SAHM's time with her kids isn't all quality time.

"I think stay at home moms should stand up for themselves & declare that they are actually doing more work than working moms ."

It was actually this comment by the OP that is bullshit and honestly creates more animosity between working mothers and SAH mothers, when really, we all need to recognise that we all work hard. If her 8 year old is coming home and saying stuff like that, then maybe she needs to raise him with a little more appreciation.

When it comes down to it the answer to who works harder shouldn't be even a SAHM vs. Working mum debate. Any woman with some self-worth would recognise that she doesn't NEED to compare herself to other mothers and their choices.

Jodi - posted on 12/22/2012

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That's rubbish Amanda. I know many parents who have jobs during school hours. It's also not about quantity of time but quality. So therefore, they miss very little. Homeschooling isn't even an option for most parents - you should NEVER homeschool because YOU don't want to miss time with your kids - that's doing it for the wrong reasons (i.e. selfish ones).

Nothing makes SAHM's *better* than working mums, and I get so sick of hearing SAHMs try to claim how much better mothers they are. And it's simply bullshit. And yes I've also BEEN a SAHM for the first 7 years of my daughter's life.

Amanda - posted on 12/21/2012

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My children thank me for everything I do, the same way I thank them for what they do to help me around the house. Was he just asking the question and you got upset? Maybe he views you staying home and taking care of the house as your job and doesn't understand why the teachers get make-up on and nice clothes for their job, but you don't.

I don't compare myself to a working mom, there is no comparison. They work and miss time with their children because in most cases they HAVE to work. They leave their babies, toddlers and children in the hands of someone else and have to have faith that they will pick them up in the same condition they left them (some are not so lucky.) I take my SAHM position as a privilege. I don't know if or when I may have to go back to work, it is an honor to be able to stay at home and help them learn to grasp the intricacies of the world. If all you have left is anger and sorrow maybe you need to change the way you see the world, life and your family. View yourself as the strongest link, the person who keeps the household rolling, and you will one day will feel that way as well.

Don't let what other people think keep you down. They aren't your thoughts, they're theirs and you shouldn't live your life worrying, fretting, seething, or crying over what others think. There will always be someone who wants to feel more important and will offer up words that are not appreciated or appreciative.

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13 Comments

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Tami - posted on 03/25/2013

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You sound very unhappy and frustrated. Have you thought about seeing a counselor or taking antidepressants? Sometimes it's a way to see life through different perspectives that will get you through the day without being so mad. I have done both the 40-hours a week working mom (while going to college) and SAHM, both are stressful, and rewarding. I don't know why it has to be such a battle. Life's too short to let it get you down.

Evelyn - posted on 01/02/2013

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This set of comments this lady has made irritates me a bit.

1) I was a stay at home mom off and on when my kids were little. When I worked and stayed home, I did all of it....the household chores, care of the kids, and then some. My now ex husband never did help all that much when I was working. To him, I needed to work to help support the family but the household chores and such were a woman's work too. So not only did I put in 8 hours at work, I would come home and try to put another 8 hours in at home in four or less and still try to have quality time with kids.

2)My kids never treated me like this 8 year old treats his mother. They always said thank you and please. THey would even come help me do the chores. It did not matter what we did, we had time together doing something together.

3) All moms work hard. SAHM's are not an exception to the rule here. Some of us have extra when we take on a job but we had to do so or chose it.

4) After my divorce, I was able to finally get a job that allowed me to be off most all holidays my kids were off and work the same schedule they were in school. I did not miss anything. And I did not see my kids that often....custody thing.

5) I have to be a working mom now. I have no choice in the matter. If I do not work, I won't have a place to live, food, or a car.

I think you took this a bit too far. SAHM's do have a hard job but so do the rest of us. When it comes to kids we can all agree if we are mom's that care, our kids are first and foremost the things we cherish in our lives.

Elfrieda - posted on 12/23/2012

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@Jodi
Obviously this has struck a nerve with you, but I don't think Amanda's point is "rubbish". I do know plenty of women who feel upset that they need to (to keep the family afloat or to keep from sinking her career) leave their children and go back to work.

Jodi - posted on 12/22/2012

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There's nothing wrong with either option if that is what works for the family and the children. That's my point. By coming in here and bragging how SAHMs work harder than working mums, the OP is JUST AS BAD as those who put down SAHMs. Stop making it a comparison about who is the better mum. Who fucking cares! Working mums STILL DO all the things SAHMs do. The OP asks about the "ODASITY", and then goes on to say how SAHMs work harder than working mums? Get over yourself. ALL MUMS WORK HARD.

Cleaver - posted on 12/22/2012

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i like my son at daycare a few days a week he gets to socialise with kids his own age i see nothing wrong with that

Amanda - posted on 12/22/2012

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They still miss time because they have to work. I don't think school negates that fact, and there's always homeschool ;). If they are very fortunate they can find a job with hours during school with weekends off... most are not that lucky.

Jodi - posted on 12/21/2012

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"They work and miss time with their children because in most cases they HAVE to work."

Actually, no, that isn't necessarily the case. If the kids are at school all day, what are they missing? The kid would be at school whether mum was home or not at home.

Dove - posted on 12/20/2012

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*I think stay at home moms should stand up for themselves & declare that they are actually doing more work than working moms .

A comment like that will just continue to fuel the fire between the working and the stay-at-home moms and fire is not what any of us women need.

Sounds like your 8 year old could stand a little dose of reality by you NOT doing for him everything you normally do. He's old enough to start doing laundry and making himself a few sandwiches. ;)

Michelle - posted on 12/20/2012

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I feel that you allow people to treat you a certain way. My children would never say anything like that to me. They thank me for the things I do for them and so does my husband. I also don't do everything for them. We all live together and make a mess so it's everyone's responsibility to clean the mess. Yes, even my 2.5yo has to clean up.

My husband has never once came home and asked what I have done all day, he has instead come home and helped with the dishes or washing. I also don't have to battle over feeding and homework as the children know what I expect and what they will go without if it isn't done or eaten.

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