The screaming has got to stop!! please help...

Britney - posted on 01/01/2010

Oh, my! Screaming. I lucked out and neither of my boys were screamers. One of my girlfriends, on the other hand, has a screamer. She puts her in her crib everytime that she starts. At first it seemed to be rather unsuccessful, but her baby seems to have caught on. Everytime she starts to scream, she goes to her bed. It does seem to be less and less now, as, obviously, she does not enjoy the time out.



I run a dayhome myself and have recently taken on a little one that screams everytime I leave his sight. He's fine so long as a he is the one to walk away, but if I should leave his sight before he is ready, all hell breaks loose. I have just been ignoring him. I carry on as I normally would and let him scream if he needs to. Slowly, it is becoming less and less, but it's still enough to drive me crazy. I have put him in a time out in the play pen for it (only for a few minutes) and that does seem to be working.



I think it is important to let a child know that their behavior (ex. screaming) is unacceptable. Be persistent with whatever it is that you choose to do. It might not seem like it is working at first, but give it a good try!!



Good luck! And all the best to you and your family!!

Judi - posted on 01/01/2010

I have 6 yr old twins (b/g) and my daughter was a screamer! She still has her moments, when she doesn't get her way, but now I can tell her to go to her room so we don't have to listen to it. She goes off and composes herself and returns.....so, unfortunately it never really ends..... But I remember those days of not being able to do anything to keep her quiet! We just wrote her off as a stubborn, strong-willed baby girl. and at 6yrs she doesn't let anyone push her around. I hope she keeps a little of her stubbornness as she grows up!
Hang in there! ......and, meds for mommy don't hurt either

Carla - posted on 12/30/2009

THANKS maybe i should look into that! and we have done and do still do the small taps on the mouth...it doesnt hurt her but does break her lil heart! i think it works the best...i just wish i didnt have to do that ya know!

Shandy - posted on 12/29/2009

Prozac! LOL Believe me, my baby just turned one today and is a screamer!! I mean a screamer!! Her 2 yr old sister even looks at her wrong and shes having a melt down, and she doesnt say much so it frustrating to her when we don't know what she wants! I called my OB and told them I needed help I'm at my max. He called in celexa(its on wal-marts $4 rx list). It took a week for me to notice a change, but OMG what a difference! Now I have the patients to work with my SCREAMER and how to get her to stop. I think you need to take care of you before you can take care of you kiddos. Hope this helps you. I'm working on time outs and taps on the mouth to get her to stop screaming. I mean TAPS like pat-a-cake. Small love taps!

I was also told to step away for a sec and take a time out for your self. I'm a stay at home mama too and its hard. Good luck and MSG me anytime :)

Carla - posted on 12/29/2009

well trista we are in one heck of a situation!!! when kaisley screams shes not crying shes just screaming! does your lil one crying at the same time! by dinner time i usually have a headache from all the screaming! i agree to young for pointing games at one and we cant always be calm about it cuz by 6pm i just cant take aymore esp in the car! it drives me crazy!! come on moms give us suggestions!

Trista - posted on 12/28/2009

we have the same thing over here with our little one (She will be one in January as well) We have no idea what to do there is no way we can sing to here while on the phone with the doctor for an hour. cooking dinner or driving. We spend A LOT of time playing with her and we dont always give in to what she wants. She is not old enough to play any pointing games and there is no way that every time she screams i can be nice about it. The tips are good but really my little one screams so much that i put her in her bed untell she stops.... (i dont think its helping) but i dont know what else to do. : (

Carla - posted on 12/28/2009

thanks everyone for your suggestions! keep them coming...i have been doing a lil of both, ignoring and correcting with saying what she should say in a calm voice. nothing is working!!! as for the deaf comment she is not becuz when i say her name and no she looks at me like huh? lol so that is not the case but thanks

Mary - posted on 12/27/2009

I agree with Jody. Get some good solid ear plugs and ignore it until she can ask quieter.
One year olds can learn this very quickly. I mean hey, she learned how quick she can make YOU jump when she screams, right? ;) So she's a smart little cookie.
My now 18 year old had what I refer to as her "whistle-scream" when she was this age. It was physically painful and I believed could break glass.
The first day of it or so will be hard, but worth it in the long run.
It will be especially hard if she is a strong willed child. They tend to cling to THEIR idea of manipulations longer instead or trying a new idea by you. Not sure why.

Go get those big fat wads of wax-type ear plugs. You will need them if you really want to get this under control!!

Good luck friend!!
Mary~

Jodi - posted on 12/27/2009

I had a daycare kid who was like this and I understand your agony! Honestly, I ignored him. The first few times I would plainly, in a normal (not yelling over his yelling) calm voice let him know that when he was ready to let me know what he wanted I could help him, but that screaming didn't tell me what the problem was. I would tell him that once and completely ignore the fact that he was screaming until he asked for whatever he wanted. When he finally asked for it, I would say thank you and tell him how nice it was that he asked so nicely and praise him up and down for asking and not yelling and promptly get whatever it is he was asking for. It was hard, I almost went crazy and thought it would never end and would never work...but it did in the end! He even started saying please without being prompted! Best of luck!

Heidi - posted on 12/27/2009

sounds weird but my nephew is deaf.. have you had her hearing checked? My nephew would scream like that but now we know it was cuz he couldnt hear himself to know how loud he was being.. Just a thought I hope shes not

Kimberley - posted on 12/27/2009

I don't have a screamer to this degree, but my son is a huge whiner when he doesn't get what he wants. I normally hug him tight to settle him and sing him a song or talk softly. I let him know that I know it's hard to communicate everything right now at your age, but it's important to talk with your words or hands (we use sign language at home also-no one's deaf, just an effective way for kids to communicate those quick needs). I let him know I'm ready to listen and that what he has to say is important. Sometimes, my husband says I talk to much, but it normally works well to calm him down and stop the whining that could go into full tantrum mode. Hope this is helpful.

Jessica - posted on 12/27/2009

have you tried calming her, and speaking to her in a mono tone about what she would like? maybe do a pointing game to what she wants so she finds it fun and gets the hang of it?!



I think alot of kids think screaming is just easier to get what they want, when they cant communicate with us properly and they scream they know we will find what they want faster!! lol it much be pretty frustrating for them too, but i do understand your frustration also, my niece was the same horrible!!! but i did the same with her, would calm her down, speak to her quietly and in mono and try and make an upset situation into something fun for her.



hope this helps, good luck =))