Think i have failed as a mom

Brittney - posted on 08/01/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )

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I am pretty sure i have failed as a mother. My kids 7, 4, and 2 are so disrespectful. They do not listen at all especially my 7 and 4 year olds. Bed time is a nightmare with all three of them but the two youngest are the worst. my four year old swears up a storm, screams like he is be possessed by something evil, and beat the crap out of his brother and sister...and this all happens mulitple times a day with him. I am at my wits end and am not sure what to do. I know that i have caused this craziness in one way or another, but i need help trying to figure out how to fix it. I find myself not really wanting to be around them....how awful is that. They have such sweet souls, but the wildness is all that is being shown right now. I love the to pieces, just want to be able to enjoy them more.

To make matters worse i start nursing school at the end of the month. If i am this exhausted and stressed out at home, what is going back to school going to do to me. HELP HELP HELP

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Kate CP - posted on 08/01/2009

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Some people think I'm crazy for doing things this way, but it seems to work so here's my philosophy.

Raising kids is a lot like training a new puppy. Training a new puppy requires a person to think more simply, almost like a dog. In packs of dogs in the wild (NOT WOLVES they are a different species!) there is an "alpha" and a "beta" member and then the rest of the pack kind of sets up their own pecking order. The "alpha" or pack leader is always in charge; always calm and never loses control. The moment the pack leader starts fights or get aggressive is when they lose their position as pack leader. All a good pack leader needs to stay in control of their pack is confidence and persistence. Now, how does this equate to child rearing? For example:

Lets say that Billy sees his younger brother, Joey, playing with his toy or in his room. Billy is obviously angry and begins a confrontation which can start with "Hey, jerk face that's mine!" and escalate from there. It's the pack leader's job to step in and remain calm and in control. Never raise your voice, and rarely (if EVER) spank. Those are both clues to your pack that you've lost control...which means it's up for grabs. A good way to deal with the above situation is to walk directly over to the children put a hand on each of their shoulders and speak calmly: "If you do not want to share this toy or take turns I will take it away. You will not see it again. Neither of you will be allowed to play with it. I will set a timer and when it rings it will be Joey's turn to play with the toy. Then I will set the timer again and when it rings it will be Billy's turn again." If they object take away the toy. One shot, one warning, no "but Mom!" You set the rules and you must enforce them. It's tough to be a mom. It's really tough to be a mom to more than one kid. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you have a friend, husband, mother, sister or whomever available to help you with the kids then don't feel bad asking for help. Just be sure everyone is on the same page and knows the rules.

Jennifer - posted on 08/01/2009

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Brittney, take heart we all feel this way at sometime or another! Especially since we are home all day with our kids. I have a 7 and 4 year old, and sometimes they go at each other like you wouldn't believe! That's when I have to take a deep breath, and remember how blessed I am to have them! There are so many women who aren't able to have kids. Now about your "problem" lol... I have found that the times my kids act up it's either because they are bored, or want my attention. Also mine will act like this after too much tv/video games ( I know I'm bad). Just today my 4 year old was all over the place and aggrevating his sister, and I stopped what I was doing to read him a book, and then my litttle angel was back to normal! I also did a bible study last year by Lisa Welchel called Creative Correction... Great study! It gives you all kinds of helpful tips on correcting our kids. Some easy ideas like good/bad jars where marbles are transferred from one jar to the other depending on kindness, acting good, etc... and when the good jar is full they get a special treat. Basically it's you putting the consequences of their behavior in their hands. Then there are bible references to show them why God does not want us to act badly. I'm not sure what your religiuos beliefs are, but I do know God wants us to help each other and be encouraged by others. Some days are harder than others, but you have to remain strong in your discipline, even when you feel like screaming and losing it! Take a break if ya gotta... Go outside and have a "scream" break! I wish you the best, and wish I had more advice for ya... I'll be praying for you to get wisdom on how to help your little munchkins!!!!

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Suzanne - posted on 11/02/2009

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i'm sorry to hear this brittney, i feel the same as hannah nanny 911 you should try having reward charts and rewards at the end of the week even if it's the kid with the most smiley faces or stickers gets to pick a movie on a friday night, time outs are the best thing, i have a son 5 and 4 and i put them on the notty step they stopped for a bit but started miss behaving again tried the notty step but that never worked i took away their best toy and that never worked i was at my whits end then i tried putting them in the corner facing the wall for 4 or 5 minutes and it works i give them a warning then a very firm warning then a final warning they know that if they over step the mark what will happen, i have'nt had to put them in the corner for a long time. I hope what ever you try works out for you all the best take care, let me know how you get on :)



just know you have NOT!! failed as a mum stop telling yourself that stop beating yourself up and if the kids feel you're stressed they will react on it, try the calm approach

Shahala - posted on 08/10/2009

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You have not failed as mom!!! That can not be said enough! I think the key word is CONSISTENCY!! with whatever you decide....you have been given some great advice...just stay consistent. I read the book "kids, parents and power struggles" (I hope thats right) by mary kurcinka, and it helped me soo much. Good luck and hugs

Sarah - posted on 08/10/2009

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You have not failed as a mom. I can tell by the way you talk about them. You can't even finish a sentence about them without making it at least a little positive. I heard someone say to me, "You train people around how to act by what you allow to happen." for example, if you don't like swearing or smoking or whatever, the people closest to you probably know that and don't do it around you (if they are true friends). I don't know if I am being confusing or not, but what it comes down to is that you need to set up a list of rules like on the show Nanny 911. You need to make them clear and enforce them as often as you need. Have a family meeting and explain how things are going to be different. We had to do that for my 7 year old and 5 year old for the behavior they have in church. They were really hard to deal with and so tonight, actually, we had a discussion about what we expected out of them. I hope this works eventually. It will probably take a little while to sink in, but it's worth it. Good luck.

Brandi - posted on 08/10/2009

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Everyone has given great advice but I just wanted to add structure in the day as a suggestion.

Lauren - posted on 08/10/2009

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You have not failed until you give up. I am pretty sure all mothers feel that one at least once but you just have to keep going. :)

Jennifer - posted on 08/06/2009

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If you are a failure as a mom then half the mothers out there are too. And I just cant believe that. lol. I have a 4 yr old boy who is the exact same way. Disrespectful to me and can throw a tantrum like no other I have seen. I have found that if I talk to him calmly and tell him I wont listen until HE calms down it helps alot. When he gets real bad I start taking things away from him. On the flip side when he is actually being GOOD for a change I make sure to do things with him. Play whatever game he wants or watch any movie he wants with him. A kind of reward for being good that isnt real bribery.
But whatever you find that works for you. Stick with it. If you arent consistent in discipline then it wont work. The best of luck to you.. and I promise you aren not a failure as a mom.

Jamie - posted on 08/04/2009

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My son is almost 5 and went through such a horrible stage. He went as far as punching me in the face! What helped me is that Austin's father stepped up and started helping me with the issues Austin and I were having. Second, was I started being so strict that he didn't get away with anything. I can't tell you what will work for your child; you will have to find what bothers them the most; like taking away his computer, TV etc. Austin has his own TV in his room and he likes having it to go to sleep. When he does something wrong major enough it is taken away and it just about kills him. I don't take them away for everything he does because it will be less effective for the major misbehavior. Another good thing to do is keep them busy doing things they enjoy and direct their attention and positive things. If they get bored it seems they act out a bit more. Get them on a schedule on daily activities and that will help.

Mishalla - posted on 08/04/2009

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i had the same problem with my 3 year old and i realized it was due to the argueing he had seen from his father and i so we atopped it if we have a disagreement it's behind closed doors.I also started time outs a minute for each year of the childs age also put up a stars board they automatically start out with 3 stars but then when they act up they loose a star if they loose all 3 stars they loose their favorite toy or a privlege they have to be good to get back there stars no stars earned back no privlege or toy back...this worked wonders for me.....

Jennifer - posted on 08/04/2009

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I want to thank you for sharing your story because the way you think is the same way that I think because my four year old constently beats up his sister. The only thing that I can posibly help you with is the bed time if they share the same room put one to sleep in you bed the second one in his/her room and the and the last one in another room or in the living room and when you go to bed move every one to their beds this works for me.

Michelle - posted on 08/04/2009

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I am not sure I can't give you any different advice then what everyone else has given you. As mother's we all seem to go through this "phase", I think it is part of our jobs as mothers. Somedays, I wish the kids would come with manuals but of course they don't. The only thing we can do is set the rules, the boundaries, and the consequences. Along with showing/giving our children the love and direction they need to grow into fine young adults. There is no "easy" way to raising kids. We do our best, learn from our mistakes, and try something new until we find what works. I was always told God doesn't give us more than we can handle. God gave you those wonderful children, because he knew you could handle it. Now it is our job, as mothers, to figure out how God wanted us to handle ANY situation that may arise.
I have found that, sometimes, it is easier to send the kids to their room by telling them that MOM needs a time out...most times, we all need that time out. But at the same time it gives me time to "calm" down, as well as the kids. Then we are able to deal with the situation on a more "civil" level.
I am not sure if any of this will help. Just remember, you are NEVER alone. Please keep us posted on how things are going and what you find that works for you. Good Luck

Sabrina - posted on 08/04/2009

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I can totally relate to you..I have 2 boys 7 & 4..They love each other deeply. But there are times that they beat the crap out of each other. I have days where they are at it all day as well. But I take a mommy break in my bedroom. I tell them that mommy is on break in my room. Make sure the house is safe. Then, I lock myself in for 5 mins to cool down. I love what Jennifer Sweeney said. My kids act up when they are bored, had too much TV. Things like that. When it gets to the point that I am having to tell them constantly about their behavior. That's when I go out for a drive. They have no idea where we are going. I tell them we are going out for a ride and to get ready. They love it. I make it a game, like a mystery adventure. If they act up in the car. I find somewhere safe and pull over. I tell them that I am going to stay here til they are ready to behave. If they don't act up, I take them somewhere fun. Never tell them that you are planning this. Cause if they know, they'll behave just long enough to get the prize. I had to explain to them that you have to show me that you can behave all the time. Give them jobs around the house. Keep them busy any way you can. I have gotten very creative, especially in the winter here. When it gets so bad, and I can't get out of the house cause of the weather. I tape quarters on their feet and let them dance on the hardwood floors. They think that's the greatest. It's noisy, but a fun kind of noisy. I hope this helps a little.....Take care.....Keep us posted:)

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Try being extra nice and doing fun things with them. You will notice a difference instantly. I have the same problem with my kids, and this always works. When I am in a bad mood they are.

Heather - posted on 08/04/2009

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my advice to you is have you thought of going to the doctors and get some counciling for you all. find out why it is all going to shit. i am a mum of 4 and to be honest life is no bed of roses. i have 3 sons and a daughter, ages being 9, 7, 3 and 2. i find my kids are great when we are doing everything for them, but when it is time to do things that need to be done i.e shopping for food, payin the bills ect,all the boring things in life, they soon change, they go from bein lovely little people to nothing but stressing out. feeling the need to wonting everything then when being told no, witch is the worst word you can use in there opinion. my eldest swears at me when he hears something he doesnt wont to, and then you have his younger brother copying him cause he looks up to his older brother and my youngests son lennon told me to fut off the other day, i felt realy hurt, but then i picked myself up and told myself that i am doing my best, i dont feel that i am doing anything to cause it. dont get me wrong they have all seen there fair share of naughty arguments between me and there dad. i have decided that life isnt like a story book with some big happy ending, we have just got to do our best as mothers and try to produce decent peoplle, but i am thinkin myself about going to the doctors myself, or helf visitor to see if they cant help me to find out why my kids change so quickly, nice to just plain nastey. i realy dont think we have failed though, i say motherhood is no easy job. good luck xxxxxx

Jennifer - posted on 08/04/2009

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You are not a failure! Believe it or not, I have been there. Let me do two things. First, go out and buy a book called "Creative Corrections" This is not a self-help, you're a bad parent book. It offers parenting tips in short bursts (which is all I have time for.) My 7 yr son is very hyper and yelling, spanking etc, never helped. I got this book and the tips helped. The first thing to remember is that you are the mom. The second is that being calm is the best way to start. When your 4 yr old screams and yells, pick him up Quietly, without saying a word. He will fight and scream, etc. Don't respond. Then put him in his room and clese the door. Do all of this without saying a word. If you have to, hold the door closed But Don't Say Anything!. Just keep him in his room until he calms down. Be warned, he may destroy his room. If he is in danger of hurting himself, go in, but otherwise leave him alone. This sounds crazy but what he is trying to do is get a reaction out of you. The more you yell, the more he is controlling you. By reacting calmly to his behavior, you remove that control. When he is calmed down, wait a few minutes and go in, Talk quietly and calmly to him about his behavior and why he was sent to his room. If he did destroy his room, don't react. If he starts yelling again, walk out and close the door.

The key is to stay calm. If you have too, let your other kids watch tv or send them to their rooms for quiet time. By seperating your kids and you from the tension filled situation, you can calm down. I did this with my son when he was 4 andit took about 12 times before he realized that I wasn't going to react like I use to. By toning myself down, I was able to get him calmed down. Now when he gets hyper or angry or stressed, all I need to do is ask him if he needs quiet time. Sometimes he says yes, sometimes he stops the behavior and sometimes I have to stop him. But I feel more in control and so does he. I know this is long but I really hope it helps. It can work for all your kids because they become responsible for their own actions.

Cami - posted on 08/04/2009

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Try some old fashion methods. Put them to work. Give them chores, my 17 month old picks up her toys and puts her dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and can clean up her mess after she eats. All kids can have chores, no matter what age. Dont do soap in the mouth, its actually illegal in some states and can cause stomach problems later in life from what i heard. You are not a failed mother, you are just struggling, but what mom isnt. At least you can see what the problems are, and you arent completly ignoring them, thats even worse. You are a good mom by trying to better them and their futures by trying to fix their problems, and by going back to school. You are a strong woman to be taking on three kids and going back to school. Good for you!!! And Good Luck!!!!

Gillian - posted on 08/04/2009

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Sounds like some behavior modification is in order. I'm sure you have NOT failed as a mom; some kids just have "difficult" personalities, a lot of energy, and are unknowingly enabled or encouraged by their parents because of inappropriate positive or negative reinforcement. You need to extinguish the behavior, which may require help from a counselor and a heart and will of steel. Remember though that when you try to change behavior it will get worse before it gets better. Also try contacting supernanny!!

Krystal - posted on 08/04/2009

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I have a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and a 9 mth old. My two oldest argue all the time. When it gets to the point where all they do is argue (which is often), I make my 7 yr old read a book and my 4 yr old practice writing her alphabets. It keeps them quiet and calms them down. I got that advice from my mom cause that's what my siblings and I had to do.

Molly - posted on 08/03/2009

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As for the swearing- He is probably extremely frustrated about situations and has learned this from someone- pay attention to the amount of swearing from others around him is it pretty regular? If so start there- Have a heart to heart with him about how it is not appropriate for anyone to use those words and give him some alternatives such as darn it or fooey or Barnacles- Words that can act as a release, but are not so inappropriate for a four year old.



If the wildness is constant think about getting into a routine- especially at bedtime- have consistent time you begin to get ready 8:00pm is pretty common. Give them a time warning- For example You have 10 min to continue with what you are doing and then it will time to get ready for bed. at 5 min give the next warning and 2 min. Then at bed time say" it is time to get ready for bed, you need to stop what you are doing(or you need to clean up what you are playing with) and do what ever the first part of your bedtime routine is( such as brushing his or her teeth). Do this consistently.



Depending on how severe the behavior is there may be more steps you need to take if fit throwing is dangerous to you, your other children or other things then I recommend a restraint technique called the bear hug- approach your child from behind and wrap your arms around him holding his arms tight- if needed bring him to his knees with you still behind him as you talk calmly in his ear- Explain that when he calms down you will talk to him- when he calms explain what he is supposed to do- tell him that when he agrees to do what he is supposed to do you let him go. Be sure to praise him for responding appropriately!



Also- if you would describe any or all of your children as strong willed- I highly recommend you read the book Raising Your Spirited Child!!! This book will give you all the help you need. Read it Start to finish!



You are not a failure- Moms who fail are those that do not try! I commend you for seeking help.



-Sincerely Molly Thayer

-BA in elementary education

- Mother of four- ages 6, 4, 2, and 1

Jennifer - posted on 08/03/2009

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Hang in there! It's so nice to know that a lot of us have tough days like this and feel this way. I know I do. What's been more helpful to me than anything, like someone else said, is offering my kids more positive attention and activities. If I'm not careful, I can spend a lot more time on the computer or spacing out or shopping than playing with my kids. That's when I notice more of the attention getting behavior.

Be good to yourself. I also agree with the fact that God knew what he was doing when he gave us our kids, and that God has a great sense of humor sometimes!!

Laura - posted on 08/02/2009

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We've started a point-based behavior chart for DD, age 5 1/2. We picked four behaviors for her to work on (listening, staying with parents, cleaning room, and clearing spot). Each behavior has an assigned point value and there different rewards are worth different points (stickers, coloring sheets, small toys, larger toys...all from the dollar store).

We also state what we want to happen, give one warning including the consequence if she doesn't follow through, then follow through if necessary. We typically use time out, but also lose of privileges if warranted (no tv, computer, etc.). Any physical violence is an automatic time out.

As for bedtime, DD is allowed to read books in her bed if she isn't tired. If she isn't quiet, we take out all of her toys.

Diana - posted on 08/02/2009

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School is going to be a GREAT time to have a break!!! You'll learn more stuff about yourself having yourself time even though it will be work you'll be able to reflect more on yourself. You should take everything away toys they enjoy tv out of there room, game systems, the second they whine, swear, anything you put them in the corner. When they are good they slowly get the stuff they enjoy back. Kids need and love structure, you should see a difference as soon as they know that your serious that your not putting up w/ there behaviors anymore.

Alicia - posted on 08/02/2009

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I only have one child, 15 months, who is just starting to push his limits but hasn't driven me crazy yet!!!. So I can only offer my thoughts from what I have seen second hand with other people....My sister is a full time SAHM and homeschooler of 5 and 7 year old boys. They have the sweetest hearts and can be so loving and fun. But what is most often seen is a disrespectful, out of control side of them. The 5 year old will do anything and everything to push the limits. They talk back like I have never seen kids talk back. They don't listen. They yell at their parents. They demand constant attention or flip out, and they fight bed time like nobody I know. My sister is at wits end and she also feels like she has totally failed as a mother. I have told her, as I tell you, countless times that she is NOT a failure. Perhaps there are some things that could have been done differently and can be changed but I have her ask herself this: Do you show your boys how much you love them and do they show you how much they love you? The boys are surrounded by love and really do know how to be loving, and because of that she has succeeded.
Her thought, and that of those who have watched the boys, is that part of their issue might be having had too much control. It is never "put your shoes on so we can go out." Rather it is "do you want to put your shoes on?" And that is how it is for most everything--she thinks there has not enough parental control and too much child-lead decision making. To an extent that is nice because you want the kids to feel like their opinions matter BUT the problem is that it is hard for them to understand that sometimes they have a choice and other times they just have to do as they are told.

Since her realization that things have gotten out of control, here is what my sister has done--totally reset the entire way the house runs. She has set all new ground rules on obedience and discipline from the moment they wake until they are back in bed. No more nonsense at bedtime, much less discussion about who feels like doing what and when. It is totally exhausting and she is spent but is doing her all to be consistent with the new "rules." She is so tough and does not give in and every disrespectful action results in time-out or lost toys, etc. It seems harsh but she is working so hard to regain control and get things back in order. Certainly once they re-learn who is in control, things will relax again but until then she is trying her best to stick to things and not waver. We have all noticed a change.
Hang in there. Be strong. Don't doubt yourself and your authority as their mother. It is likely going to be an exhausting effort for you, especially with nursing school and all the other responsibilities of motherhood, but know that it will not last forever and it is for the good of all of you. And ask for help. Perhaps your mother or in-laws or siblings or friends...someone else who can come and be the disciplinarian and authority with you and for you when you need a break.

Liz - posted on 08/02/2009

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Hi, I can easily relate to what you are going through. I have a 4,3,and 2 year old and the one thing they are really good at is irritating mum. They have gone as far as hitting and even biting at one stage. I found they best solution was to seperate the kids into seperate rooms, that is usually enough to calm them down as they find seperate things to occupie themselves with.

I now it can sometimes be hard but try to spend a bit of one on one time with them, even if it only for 5 min a day.

As for my nerves I decided that I needed help and put my oldest two in a daycare for 3 hours, one day a week. As my youngest is still napping during the day this gives me at least 2hours to really relax, or some one on one time with her.

I have also tried the time out option, but not for them, for me. If they get to much then I will pickup my book or make a coffee and go outside. Leave them to it. They normally calm down pretty quick when mum doesn't react. Of course mothers instinct kicks in then and I can still hear everything that happens.

Just remember that kids usually reflect what is happening around them. If you are stressed out and irritable then so are they. Hang in there, from the sounds of it you have 3 very healthy and active children, and they are testing their boundries.

Rae - posted on 08/01/2009

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i have an 9 year old and a 6 3/4 year old they are not sweetest kids ever and they are disrespectful to me too. Have you tried something like a reward chart? I did that and started taking things away, They made me really mad so i went and flatten the bike tires so they lost those. You can do something like on reward chat put marbles in if they listen take them out if they don't after somany marbles they get a sticker on a chart and after so many stickers then they get to do something that they really like not material items, but like swimming, going bowling things like that they can have some time with you, I also have a job chart no t.v or phone or friends till they are done and they are not hard but one gets bathrooms and bedroom, the other one get livingroom and kitchen but not the dishes. I put vinagar in my 3 year olds mouth for saying bad things that helped. i put mine in time out my friend gave me that idea to have them squat against the wall like they are sitting in a chair but they have to hold themselves with their legs. These are just some ideas hope it helps. Mine have started listening.
Might be the age also i have been told for mine. good luck!

Kimberly - posted on 08/01/2009

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You have not failed as a mom iam pretty shur thats impossible, but i do understand the crazness of 3 kiddos i have a 6yr 3yr and 2yr old and wow, and mine kinda do the same things yours are going throw,it is such a handfull at times but its worth it after they are all alseep, i stay up late just to the quite time to my self, i knw u dont knw me but i just started this thing and i saw what u wrote, so i hope things work out for ya and if u want to vent it out to someone well i hear.

Jeannette - posted on 08/01/2009

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Dear Brittney: U r not the only who feels this way..... believe me when I tell you that most moms... feel we have failed in one way or another... I also have 3 little ones... and even though I adore them and have loved at times being a stay home mom. I myself have wondered if they would be better without me. I've been so tired at times that I want to run out the door and abandon my family. Sounds awful huh? We all have wondered if we are spending quality time each day with each child... we wonder if he have played enough, listened, enjoyed, talked, read... etc... etc...
We feel guilty ALL THE TIME... and we are Stay at home moms... when I used to work I felt guilty for leaving my first born with someone else. The list never ends.

So Brittney....if you think yourself as a failure.... ask if your mom was too, or the women who you admire are? Not everyone admits it; specially when we are trying to pretend we have everything under control... and we are super moms.
What I can tell you; that has help me along the way and cope with motherhood.... is this: YOU WERE CHOSEN BY GOD TO BECOME THE PERFECT MOM YOUR KIDS WILL EVER HAVE... THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN GIVE THEM THE AMOUNT OF LOVE AND CARE EACH ONE OF THEM NEED. HE IS THE ONE THAT KNOWS EXACTLY HOW U R, WHO U R, YOUR FAULTS AND SUCCESS... HE COULD OF CHOOSE ANOTHER MOM TO DO THE JOB WITH UR 3 LITTLE ANGELS, BUT HE PICKED U. THEY WILL NEVER HAVE OR WANT ANYONE ELSE BUT U. BECAUSE NO ONE IN THE WORLD WILL GIVE THEM THE LOVE THAT ONLY U CAN GIVE THEM...

So... there u go.... enjoy your season.... it will soon fade away in a few years... I know it's hard.... but what has helped me is the help I get from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ... his Word gives me wisdom, prayer keeps me peaceful; and I can always rest on Him when I can't handle the load.
The closer I get to Him; the better care I can provide to my family.... I take them to church.... and prayerfully ask for them to learn how to behave and love God above all things. I don't know about you or your faith.... but I don't know how I could off done without Him holding my hand when I gave birth to my 3 children. Mom of two boys and a girl 6, 4 & 2.

I Sincerely hope my comment helps in your journey to feel successful in your motherhood. Read Proverbs each day of the month...

Shannon - posted on 08/01/2009

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Whatever form of discipline you find to use, the most important thing is to be consistent! It will be dreadful for several days or so, but what have you got to lose? You're already miserable and tired, so what's a few more days of being exhausted to a mom? Bedtime is one of the most important areas to correct. It's not only about the quantity of sleep your children are getting, but also the quality. If your children have a difficult time getting to sleep, that could be interrupting the natural sleep pattern we all need to feel energized and well-rested. Use the techniques on Super Nanny (it is really a very informative and interesting program) and stick to them. Do not deviate for even a single day. Eventually, your children will slip into the routine you set forth for them, and everyone will be so much happier. Just make sure everyone involved in the lives of your children also follow the routine. Consistency can make life so much better. Good luck!!!

Alisha - posted on 08/01/2009

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I have been going through similar stuff with my 3 aged almost 8,7 and 6. please do not think of yourself as a failure as a mum. god knows it's really hard work and at the end of the day most of mum's have thought the same thing. i think personally that our children like to push our buttons to see what kind of a response they get out of us. have you noticed that when someone else looks after them they turn into different children. i think that you will find when you do return to nursing school, you will see a difference in them. At the end of the day nobody knows your kids better than you do but every mum needs help some time. you need to look after yourself to be able to look after them and maybe even a couple of hours here and there would help.
you're not alone and that at one point or another every other mum has gone through it.
hope i have helped.

Hannah - posted on 08/01/2009

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mine are only 19mnthss and 9 mnths, so i cant relate to some of those things. but when our oldest started hitting and taking toys away from the baby we took an idea from a show we saw. i cant remember if it was super nanny or nanny 911. they showed the time out pad with the timer and lights. it has worked wonders for our lil one. i think i would try their ideas. they always get the kids on the show to go to sleep and be nice. i am a strong believer that being a lil harsh is good for them in the end. do something wrong after a warning, you get timeout or punishment. hopefully they will learn that being nice and following the rules is a better option. dont forget to get out and have some time to yourself. even a few minutes makes a big difference. you cant be a good mom until you are good. dont think you have failed, i think kids can pick up on how you feel. good luck!!

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