To all the stay at home moms do yall have dreams?

Lovis - posted on 10/14/2011 ( 118 moms have responded )

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How do you moms really feel about being a stay at home mom? Do you feel trapped sometimes because you in the house all day with the kids? Do you feel like you really have an equal say in your marriage?

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Heather - posted on 10/14/2011

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Some days are definitely harder than others. As far as an equal say, when I was with the father of my 2 girls I wasn't equal at all. He expected everything to be perfect when he came home from work. The house to be spotless dinner cooked and on the table when he walked in the door. And we only haad 1 car so I was literally stuck all day everyday sometimes 7 days a week. But we split and I have since met a man who has accepted and loves my girls as if they were his own and is ok with the fact that the house isn't spotless. He helps cook dinner, does dishes. It has changed my attitude about staying home a lot! But still miss that adult interaction

Kylie - posted on 10/14/2011

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In my house I am more or less in charge, I do most of the work, and all of the accounting. My husband likes that I am staying home to bewith the kids while they are little, but when they are at school expects me to work. The kids are my job, so I have decided that next year I will study by distance, teaching so that when they do go to school I can still be there when they are home. My dream is to have happy heathy kids who make their lives the best they can be...my job is to teach them the skills that will help them!

[deleted account]

Nicky, that comment would make me sad too. I think it can be such a confusing time for husbands and wife's. I tried to keep the conversation going a lot with my husband because I didn't want him to feel he couldn't tell me his frustrations, because he really was frustrated. I had my on and off days. Some days I felt like a superhero raising my kids and others like a looser without a job. Lot's of stuff going on.

Emily - posted on 11/30/2011

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I am a SHAm, but i don't feel trapped and I fell I work harder and longer then my DH! I don't get time off or paid vacation!
To make ends meet when money gets tight I started my own in home business. I work around my families schedule and love the people I have met. I do nothing more then buy from myself. I love my products and recommend my products to others! When I love a product I did this anyway, so why not get paid for it! I actually made a little money in my first week in business! I'm not giving up on any dreams, in fact I found a way to realize my dreams soon and make them much larger! Your life is what you make of it! For me, this is the perfect blend! I talk to adult team mates while my kids are in school or napping, as well as when we have family events! My DH loves that I am so happy and is very supportive! In fact one of my goal that i'm on track for reaching is having my DH leave his job and come work with me in 2012! Feel free to contact me if you would like to know more!

Savannah - posted on 11/02/2011

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I think all stay-at-home mommy's will agree that some days are better then others. I myself am very lucky to have a husband who is willing to help around the house when he gets home. I do think its important for our sanity that we are allowed a little time to ourselves at the end of the day...nothing big...showering alone is my big one. As far as dreams...absolutley I'm 23 almost 24 and my dream is to go to college and get my linguistics/foreign language degree. As I said I'm very blessed with a husband who loves and supports me and my boys. He's currently a student, so it'll have to wait til he graduates because I don't want to put my boys in daycare.

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Christina - posted on 06/30/2012

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I do feel trapped. I love my kids and I know that i can care for them better than any other person would or could, but I feel like me and my kids are trapped. When I lived in the city I could walk to the park, Here in the country, we don't have sidewalks, or buses so therefore while my husband is at work, we are trapped in the house due to having one working vehicle. My kids are isolated and so am I. I want to leave my DH, but I know with me being sick, i could not provide for my family on my own. I would have to depend on other people, and living with other people is alot more stress. I bought a van, but since our car broke down, and my husband procrastinates on fixing it, even when we had the money, I feel like he makes it a point that we don't have a way to get anywhere or do anything. He doesn't even let me out by myself to do grocery shopping. I am smothered by him, and it makes me depressed, and I know that it affects my state of mind as well as my children. I don't know what to do anymore and wish I knew. I want to work, Right now being pregnant, on top of having to toddler age children, not knowing anyone with transportation and not having any friends i can lean on in the state, it is very difficult.

Cory - posted on 12/07/2011

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Being a SAHM can be quite challenging w/ having baby/toddlers all day & not feeling a sense of "self-worth" in the home. Since you aren't working it may seem like you don't have a "voice" in the home. In reality you have the hardest job you'll ever LOVE ! While it doesn't pay monetarly the rewards you reap will be 10 fold with spending the time with your children to watch them learn, grow & thrive! I stayed at home exclusively for the first few years. We were engaged in many activities & play. Maybe making some "mommy friends" would help w/ the boredom. Also, there's many of enriching programs offered in many cities through the library system for you & your kids. I suggest getting out of the house as much as you can. The kids are only an age 1x so make the most of it ! As far as having a voice in the home. You should be an = regardless of monetary contribution. *I now work part-time about 25-30 hrs. a week it helps me get out of the house & make money towards the bills. Maybe that might help.. Good LUck

Callie - posted on 12/06/2011

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This video about what do stay at home moms do all day is really funny! Being a stay at home mom is the hardest job, it is much easier going to work and having a break.

But who is going to take as great care of your children except your family. I am a stay at home mother and very proud of it!

Nicky - posted on 12/01/2011

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Sometimes YES!!! I feel trapped and kinda like a dork because when my husband comes home all I have to talk about is, "Hey I vacumed lol" I want to do something have a career once my daughter isnt a baby anymore but I dont even know what I like! Thats sad....I once was told when I asked my Hubby to take the garbage out that "When I start splitting bills, He will start splitting chores!" That really pissed me off seeing as though that is the ONLY thing I ever have asked him to do in the house! Sent me into a crying depressed pity party...not a pretty site lol One day Ill get back to ME but for now being my daughters role model & teacher is pretty great.

[deleted account]

I just had this conversation yesterday. There are some moms that are completely fulfilled being stay at home moms. Awesome. There are some moms that are fulfilled working full time. There are some moms that need something in between. Having dreams does not mean you are feeling trapped. It just means you need more than you are getting right now and it does not make you a bad mom. What eventually makes you a bitter person is when you don't recognize and take care of your dreams.

Jennifer - posted on 11/25/2011

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I do have an equal say in my marriage, no question. I love being a stay at home mom, but there are times I want a job so bad and want out of this house. I have two college degrees and would love to use them

Jodie - posted on 11/25/2011

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I love being a stay at home but I have a dream of making movies, I have written lots of screenplays but breaking into the movie business is near impossible. I have just set up my own business entertaining children.

Selena - posted on 11/22/2011

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I really, honestly and truly love it. My daughter has just turned 3 and it went by so quickly. I am so glad that I have been here for all her milestones and to see so much of her day-to-day growth and changes. I had a great job in the IT field, with great pay and benefits, but I made the conscious decision to become a mother with the full knowledge that I would stay home with her. There are rare times when I miss my professional life, but I do contract work, on occasion, so that helps take care of that need. I joined a playgroup before my daughter was even born and when that one closed, I started a new one with a group of friends. Having an active playgroup has been a lifesaver, because it provides daily activity options and has given me the opportunity to develop wonderful friendships with other mothers. As for the marriage end of things, I think I have a fairly equal say in how things go, because we both made the decision for me to stay home. I saved up most of my money during the last couple of years that I worked, so I'm basically paying myself to stay home. I don't know how long I will stay home, but my daughter has severe food allergies, so it will probably be another 2-3 years, at least.

[deleted account]

I think the feelings of being trapped are normal. Going from working to staying home is a big transition and suits some more than others. There are some SAHM that have no intention of ever going back to work and are absolutely fulfilled by what they do. There are other moms that are half and half, love staying at home but miss a lot of aspects about work. I don't think one size fits all. Mostly, feel your feelings, acknowledge your feelings and don't beat yourself up about it. Trust that when the time comes to make a change, you will make a change.

Raechil - posted on 11/21/2011

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My dream always was to be a stay at home mom. But its like anything... its not meant for everyone. I feel stuck at home but thats only because I dont have a car during the day. And I am the homemaker so I make the decisions at home unless its something big that we both need to put in our input on it so I do believe our relationship is equal... He makes the money and relaxes after work and I budget and keep the house running lol. But different things work for everyone... You just have to find where you want to be.

Erin - posted on 11/19/2011

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We struggled at first with deciding on what we each should do in our marriage and what we expect of ourselves vs what we expect of each other. I'm a stay at home mom too... I am in charge of the finances and budget. I cook and clean and basically in charge of all the household chores, including childcare. My husband works 14+ hours per day 6 days a week. We have family time on our days off. I feel like I have equal say in my marriage, we make all the big decisions together, However I let him have the final say in almost everything. I feel like he listens to and trusts my judgment on everything. In the beginning I did feel trapped and isolated. I just had to pull myself out of it. I do have a car, but if we only had one I could walk to the park and grocery store. There is also a bus and light-rail very close to our house. My husband and I have been together almost 4 years and have 2 kids. I have goals and dreams. Most of them wouldn't be possible unless I was a stay at home mom.

Susan - posted on 11/18/2011

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It can be a constant balancing act and I think most stay at home mums feel they work harder (we definitely do longer hours than our partners/husbands in most cases. I look after my 18month old full time, I had a small online business as an artist but since bub was born I have been working on the same painting for over a year here and there where it used to take me 8 - 10 hours over 2 days to get a painting done. It definitely feels somewhat frustrating at times not being able to work as much on my creativity which is what I have always done and is who I am, but since having our little one a lot has changed! Sometimes I feel so run down because I am actually a pretty quiet sort of perosn more of an introvert and the constant demands of a toddler can be exhausting and to think my parents want us to have more!! I already have very minimal time for me. We dont have parents that live close. I have one sister that helps minimally but she has not babysat for us yet even though she said that she would. :( Its a little depressing to feel my life is on ho9ld sometimes but we did decide to have a child so we have to do the best we can for our bubb too. Id like to hear what other mums feel about topic too, as sometimes it helps to have a new perspective.

Crystal - posted on 11/18/2011

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I have now been on both sides of the fence, and there are times I miss working full time, but when I think about returning to work, my heart sinks. As much as my boys drive me up a wall at times, I treasure the fact that I get to see them grow and learn everyday. I currently homeschool my oldest son as well. Plus my husband works from home, so I'm also with him a good bit as well. I do feel that for the most part I have an equal say in our marriage, but that's because my husband respects my position as a homemaker, teacher, and mother.

Candhl - posted on 11/18/2011

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I absolutely love being a SAHM. I have been since my son was born and he just turned 5. He goes to Preschool on tuesdays & thursday for 5 hours, which even though some days it's nice, I really miss him while he's in school. I plan to start volunteering at a homeless shelter soon while he is in school. My dream is to help people, in any way I can even if I don't get paid for it, it's not about the money. I take care of everything that needs done to make our home run smoothly. From the cleaning,cooking and laundry, to errands,bills and everything in between. My husband does normally help me grocery shop, which is nice! He works 5 days a week (6 days in the summer) and his job mainly consists of outside manual labor work. He hardly ever works less than 50 hours. When he comes home I don't want him to have to do anything,because everything in our home is my job and I am fine with that. He does help with taking the trash out and replacing light bulbs, things I can't (or won't) do, but that's it. I do have a equal say, but even more so usually I make the decisions myself because my husband trusts me to. He makes the money and I spend it, usually on bills and if he or I want something we buy it. I think you have to have respect on both ends to truly be able to enjoy being a SAHM.

Chesnie - posted on 11/18/2011

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Well, I too have a new car, a 2 yr old daughter, get to stay home, my daughter goes to MDO once a week and my mom is at home on disability and can watch our daughter anytime I want to go do something by myself. I want to finish school and get my child psychology degree, almost halfway there but money is holding me back from doing that. I love staying home but i miss making my own money where i have some control over what i do with it, i do some now but my husband can see on my bank statement where i spend my visa card at..lol..and questions me!! ha

Anne - posted on 11/17/2011

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I don't think anyone should "leave their dreams" or put them on hold. Our children learn through action, not through what we say. They will never know how to appreciate the "sacrifice" because quite honestly it's just an excuse to hold you back from your dreams.
If you are angry it's at yourself, plenty of people have kids and follow their dreams still! I'm finally realizing I was in my own way! I'm glad I'm a SAHM because it gave me the time to really work on myself and realize that I was blaming everyone else for having "no life". That just wasn't true! I was afraid!

Brittany - posted on 11/16/2011

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I deffinitly get cabin fever quite a bit. Im the adventurous type. I love to travel. I want to just get in the car and go on a road trip to see new things just about every day. My dream is to become a musician and travel the world doing what I love to do. It gets hard putting things on hold but Il get to those things in the future. I have plenty of time. for now Il just enjoy my little adventure here at home :)

Wendi - posted on 11/15/2011

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I love being a stay at home mom. I have my husband home with me of a morning and early afternoon and my daughter home from school to help with her little brother of an afternoon. If I need to get away and work on my home business/hobby I simply tell them watch him for a little bit I have work to do and of an evening that's never a problem cause he adores his big sister. ((She is 17)) I have a teleclass I take once a week that gets me 2 1/2 hours mommy time for 5 weeks every few weeks. I am a bit of a recluse anyways but have started getting out with friends once a month.

I would say I have a very equal voice in the money issues and such as that I run most of the errands either with various members the family or by my self. We are trying to start our own business so I take care of a lot of the research work for that as well as take care of two aged parents who thank goodness can still live on their own for now and just need a little help.

I worked outside of the home before with my daughter but not till she was at least 12 and while I loved the job I HATED how much it took me away from her and what all I missed.

Katherine - posted on 11/14/2011

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i do it all and i dont mind. My husband is a mine worker so his hours are crazy . staying home is a choice. I like being homwith my baby and with my older kids. We go for drives and go out of town to give me abreak every now and then. I have family and friends come over and I am not stuck in this house 24/7 either I visit family and friends and take care of errons. I dont feel trapped, I feel like an equal in my marriage and my husband would nt know what to do with out me either probably because i cook and clean and make sure he has a hot dinner and a happy home to home to after a long day or night at work. I love it. :)

Eschelle - posted on 11/13/2011

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I am always struggling with this... at the end of the day I want to be more than "mom" something all to myself that no one else has. I know how you feel, I think the important thing is to always keep dreaming and do all the little things you can the more little things you accomplish the more open you become to pursuing the BIG ones. Dreams are ever changing aswell.

Saria - posted on 11/12/2011

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Tricky question. Every one is different, me personally I go both ways. I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel trapped and just want to escape. Sometimes I'm fine and don't mind being home. My husband works 6 days a week so I pretty much dictate a lot of things in the house and when he comes home he normally just wants to play video games or watch a movies and "veg" for an hr or 2. Which is perfectly fine till that hr or 2 becomes like 4-5 hrs then I get mad and turn it off on him. But I try to volunteer at the local animal shelter to get myself out of the house and for a good cause. I feel like I am constantly stressed out and it takes it's toll me sometimes but I get by :)

Katie - posted on 11/11/2011

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Of course! I want to work with children at risk and with special needs. I suppouse I stay home in the sense that I'm with my son more than that the normal mother, but I do work as a nanny and he comes a long. Attending pre K three days a week. I will be starting school back up again to be a special needs teacher at an elementary level. I take pride in caring for my son, my two other kids, there home, and my own!

Charlotte - posted on 11/10/2011

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I love being home while my kids are young. No, I don't feel I get an equal say in my marriage and it drives me crazy some days. There are days I wish I felt I contributed financially. But I think that comes from how I was raised. I don't speak up because I didn't see my mom speak up about money (or much for that matter) with my dad. She was a stay at home mom as well. But I'm working on being a better communicator in that department because my husband has always been and does care about how I feel. So it's my own doing if that makes sense. But I still wouldn't trade being home. My husband & I both had stay at home mom's and i feel the benefits of it are more important to me than the benefits of a second income.

Kim - posted on 11/09/2011

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The decision to say at home was solidified when I was talking to my husband about stay home and he said "I would stay home if you made the most money." Then I knew that one of us being here with our kids was important to him to. We look at this as a team. We are both working toward the same goals...well rounded kids, smoothly run household, and of course money to pay the bills. Our teams works better with me at home and him making money. He still helps out when he comes home. I am not the maid or cook (even though I do those things). he helps when he can. But, we had to discuss those things BEFORE I quit my job. There is always a learning curve to any situation. As far as feeling trapped...try planning a different activity everyday or get involved in a local group. Being at home is a good decision, you can't get this time back. You will look back and be happy you got to see every moment of your child's development.

Amanda - posted on 11/07/2011

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Sometimes it sucks big time, of course we all have dreams and goals we wish to achieve. I would love to go to school to become a doula (midwife) or to start up my own Woman's Self Defense classes. I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, use to run my own school back home.
And yes i feel trapped sometimes by all the responsibilities, the child, bills, cleaning, cooking, house problems that arise, my husband is currently working in Man, In the last 3 months ive seen him maybe for 16 days out of 90, and will continue like this till April. So all my responsibilities have doubled since i have taken over my husbands as well. I havent had a full day to myself, without my son, in over a year. So im a wee bit burnt out right now. On top of that i run a babysitting business, so add two or three more kids on top of everything. As for equal say, yes i do have that, i told my husband right off the bat that i will be his partner, his equal in every aspect of this marriage, if that was'nt ok with him, i would never have married him.

Marcie - posted on 11/02/2011

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Don't get me wrong being a stay at home mom can be rewarding but it can also have you going a little crazy to at times.I would like to get my GED one day hoppfully sooner then later and in time become a pediatrician but that is hard to do when you have 1 out of the two only going to school and not to mention not have a drivers license to and oh lets not forget i got a hubby that works night shift and he sleeps most of the day so that leaves me with um idk mainly taking care of kids and cleaning house all day long.But he has been encourageing me to do everything i want to try and accomplish but i get nervous when i practice driving for some weird reason.But since becoming a stay at home mommy i have discovered hidden talents,i can sew,i can cross stitch and i can also crochet to and i am getting the hang of this thing called tatting(not tattoos some other kinda crafts)but lets face it that won't get me where i want to be in life.I know what needs to be done but it seems like i am at a big fat HULT until my youngest is in school which won't be till next year,so i do know your pain :-) and trust me you are not alone either :-)

Danielle - posted on 11/01/2011

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Some times I can feel trappedd, like other have said (weather). I do have my own car, and 3 kids to tote around, 4, 2, and 3 months. My husband is up and down, he likes to make my feel like he does all the work because he makes all the money, and I do resent him for it! I dont think he truly knows what goes into raising 3 kids, and they were all planed, and me being a sahm was a decision we both made! But he likes to be in control of everything in his life. I wanted my kids first and my career second. And am starting my first novel, but I have not told any of my family, including my husband. Just because I dont want to put any pressure on myslef. If i finish it in months or years, its me who will decide when to publish it. I do get out of the house when we have the extra income. I know our marriage needs work, and we are both trying to better ourselves, and the relationship. We have our ups and downs, but I know we will work it out, and be better ppl for it!

Lynnette - posted on 10/31/2011

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I agree with mom-Sarah. I have a car. I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old and one on the way. We get out whenever we can weather permitting and we don't have to spend money to do it. We go visit friends or playground or picnic. This is a blessed life for us. If I ever feel like a trapped person, I will make time to untrap myself. My marriage feels very equal. Maybe it's because I'm an older mom (in my 40's) and have already lived out my dreams before kids and marriage? But I love my life. I work hard to keep it happy. :)

Nicole - posted on 10/31/2011

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I find it is equal in my marriage. I wouldn't trade being a stay at home mother for the world. However, my husband (when he has the time) and myself are currently writing a series of novels that we hope to have published one day. I choose to be a SAHM, and I am charge of the housework, dinner. We share my daughter's weekend "home-work". She's in kindergarten. On the weekends, he will get up with her and let me sleep in. Of course, there are days where I would give my left-leg for some adult communication. I find emails and face-book to be absolutely a god-send for that between when the house-work is finished and when dinner's cooking and picking my child up from school. :)

Nicole - posted on 10/31/2011

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I am fortunate that I love being a stay at home mom. I get me time, even if I'm folding laundry I watch a show while doing it. I do volunteer things through the school, parish or community and get to be at all of my kids activities, even if they aren't good at it. I have time to cook or bake and get some reading in that I love. I joined a MOPS group just for me and love it and I belong to a book group that meets every 6 weeks. While life isn't perfect by any means, I do feel that I have it good, my husband acknowledges that I work just as hard if not harder than him and that what I do is more important that what he does and he saves lives!!
I figure I can go back to work if and when I'm ready but feel fortunate that we can afford for me to stay home with my kids. It's worth it!!

Cheri - posted on 10/31/2011

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I had dreams of doing modeling. I've had the largest modeling companies in the world wanting me but I would never leave my kids. I love being a stay at home mom but at the same time it sucks. I rearly see or talk to other adults and look at the same 4 wall 24/7 a day for the last 6yrs. For equal say I kind of have most of the say with everything. He works, I clean, cook, pay the bills, buy all the clothes, do all the school stuff, after school stuff and so on. I do everything and he works 3 days a week and then sits at home. All the stress is on me!

Rachelle - posted on 10/31/2011

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I actually love being able to stay at home. I am currently pregant and I stay at home with my step daughter. Sometimes I feel trapped at home when I have to stay here all day. Yes i freel like have an equal say in my marriage. It was both my husband and my idea for me to stay home. I am currently going to school and since i have 3 years left of online school to become a nurse I'm going to stay home. When I finally get done with nurseing school my step daughter will be 7 and my daughter who i'm currently pregant with will be 3 years old.

Sarah - posted on 10/30/2011

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No, not really i mean i have my own car i can go when i please take the kids to the park, got to lunch etc. i LOVE being a SAHM!:)

Sherry - posted on 10/29/2011

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I have been a stay at home mom for a while. A couple of years ago I began cleaning houses to earn a little extra money, but that will probably end when my daughter is old enough to start school (I will be homeschooling her). I do need to get out of the house at times, and my daughter needs the social interaction that the outings provide. When I feel a little unhappy/bored/trapped, I watch the video clip about Stephanie Nielson on the Oprah website. She has scarring left on 80% of her body after a plane crash. She struggles to do the smallest things.I posted the link below.

I try to remember how blessed I truly am. I am healthy. My daughter is healthy. We have a home and food to eat. My husband has a good job. I know I am blessed. Earning money from a job shouldn't be the qualification for having a say in your marriage.


http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Blogg...

Dana - posted on 10/28/2011

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Yes on the equal say part, maybe I have the most say, but as for the rest of your question I've wondered the same thing. If other ppl feel this way. From time to time I do feel "stuck". We only leave the house for dr.s appts, grocery stores,ect. I do have dreams, and I know that one day when my youngest 2 kids are older I'll have plenty of time to do my thing(whatever it is). These feelings come and go, sometimes when you get too bogged down you need to leave your house, get a sitter, and just have fun. If you don't you'll go crazy.

Crystal - posted on 10/28/2011

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I have to say I'm lucky. My husband has never said... what do you do ALL day?. That being said, I'm at the point that I hate it.



Don't get me wrong I love my kids. But they are 8 and 9. My daughter has ADHD and ODD. She is in 4th grade. My son Has ADHD and Aspergers. He is in 3rd grade.



One would think that at their age I would have more time for a job. But I'm on call for the school ALL the time. So I'm home by my self till they do. And I hate it.



I just keep reminding my self that one day I can have a job. Thats my dream. lol Not the most elaborate dream but it works for me. In the mean time I'm looking into on-line collage.



Like I said I love them. But I do not drive... My husband works 7 days a week. So it seams like I know more about cartoons then how to talk to adults. There are times when months will go by and I have not said one word to another adult other then my hubby.



When this happens I fill trapped. Like I'm not a person JUST a mom. A friend will call and say what have you been doing and I can't answer. What am I going to say? Cleaning?



But till my kids are grown and MY son is able to handle it. Mom will be there. Be it 2 more years or 20.

Tara - posted on 10/27/2011

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I have a 3 year old boy and a 3 1/2 month old girl. For the most part I enjoy being a stay at home mom and sometimes feel lucky that I can be. I was always afraid of day homes/cares and it's nice to be able to raise my children 100% and know that they are safe and paid attention to! Sometimes I do feel trapped. My husband's passion is hockey so he plays ball and ice hockey plus has season tickets to the Calgary Flames hockey games. I feel like I never really have me time. I definitely do not blame my husband as he has no issues with me doing whatever but its just hard sometimes to work around his schedule. Just recently I started up a mommy time group! just a group of the mommy friends I have plus anyone else they wish to invite (this way I meet some new moms too!). Its more of a commitment this way too. I do feel I have an equal say. We have a good marriage and he knows how hard it is staying home with the little ones is. He has a hard time with a couple of hours on his own lol. He is great ! he has never ever said I don't do enough and never has any expectation of me. If he did I would leave him with the kids for a full day or two to do the daily routines plus cook/clean/laundry haha. The only part that I find hard since no longer working and bringing in my 'own' money as it just feels odd needing to ask about money/for money etc. (he is self employed) but it isn't a problem with him.

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"Dont get me wrong I love being a stay at home mom. I just want to be able to do more then stay at home. I just want to be able to do more with myself then just clean up a house all day long."

May I ask, what is stopping you from doing more with yourself WHILE being a sahm? Why do some sahm's feel that once they become sahm's all they are allowed to do is clean and watch the kid?

What is stopping you (general you) from going out and doing something? Have brunch with friends, volunteer with one of the thousands of non-profits who need help, go for walks, join a book club, join a team sport; there are literally millions of opportunities out there, but it seems no one thinks they are worth doing unless they come with a pay check. Creating an ad campaign for a local food bank or delivering meals to the elderly with your kids is no less important than cleaning your house--if you finish cleaning and need something to do, get out there!

Jamie - posted on 10/27/2011

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I do have dreams as a stay at home mom. That dream is that my kids will have the happiest and best childhood possible. I want to help form them into being the best people they can be so they can have the best lives possible from childhood into adulthood and so on. I want to help provide that for them as much as possible. The fact is that a parent is the most influential person in a childs life. I want to influence my child first hand. I had to work part of the time while being a mom, so I know people have to do it and that's fine. But, my dreams are for my kids to be happy and I want to help them have the brightest future possible. That's my biggest dream. And heck yes I have an equal say in my marriage. I have a wonderful husband. I am preganant and have been really sick. My husband works full time, he is working extra days now to save up for Christmas, he makes dinner, cleans house, gets kids ready for bed, takes kids to school. etc. He is amazing and so supportive and helpful. He simply adores me and the kids. I do get burnt out of seeing the house scene all day sometimes. But, those are the days we go out. We go to the park, we go for a walk etc. We usually go out daily.

Synquis - posted on 10/26/2011

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I feel trapped a lot. Honestly I never get to do things that I enjoy or even need. I do have a equal say in my marriage. but I did just found out today that my family has little respect for me because I am a stay at home mom. They think my life is easy and that I don't have to lift a finger. It really hurt my feelings, but o well. People are mean...

Kacey - posted on 10/25/2011

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As a stay at home mom and a wife, I already am living one of my dreams. Even if you work at home, doesn't mean you're "trapped". All you really need is a couple walks outside with the kids to feel refreshed. You should be greatful to be able to be there for your children. Before the feminist movement 30 years ago, women for thousands of years have been homemakers. It's something you should take pride in. Raising a family is one of the most important things as a woman you could do.

Jessica - posted on 10/25/2011

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Before I got Pregnant I was a nurse but my pregnancy was hard and I had a lot of complications so my Doctor told me that I had to quit my job. I have been off work a year in January. I hated it then and always talked about "I cant wait to go back to work". Now that she's here I would be upset if I had to give up my time with her. I'm so thankful that I was blessed with being a stay at home mom. I get to see my daughters first everything and a lot of working parents miss out on those precious moments. I do miss the social aspect of working but I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything because I'm right where I wanna be. I'm not married but my boyfriend and I live together. He feels like he does more than I do but never holds it against me. He is happy to be able to take care of us. He feels that we are equal and so do I. Being a full time mom is a lot of work.. That's coming from someone who only has one child. I believe a stay at home mom does her part in taking care of the family!

Elaine - posted on 10/25/2011

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i feel trapped sometimes. For the non-stop work i do at home, and hubby thinks staying at home is the easier than the outside working world coz he said house work is fixed, and we stay-at-home mum has no meetings to attend. I feel trapped when no one(hubby) appreciate my effort at home, when i was working, i always get compliments frm clients, bosses...lunch treats, sense of achivement... now, all i hear everyday is from my hubby about how ppl praise him,.....he gets to go overseas for work (he likes it).. i feel that i have begin to lose myself.... my identity now is juz a mum, a wife, where is ME??

Jonelle - posted on 10/24/2011

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equal what i say goes and he knows that. he goes to work and earns the money but the reason i'm home because of the kids. it drives me insane sometimes but wouldn't swap my kids for nothing

Jill - posted on 10/24/2011

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sometimes when i've had a hard day, kids not listening, house a mess and the phone wont stop ringing, etc, my husband could easily come around the corner and ask me to make him a sandwich. those days, i feel like i could run away and not come back. but what has been the most successful for me is to communicate with my husband. i try not to huff and puff and make him miserable, just because i had a rough day. once i started talking to my husband and letting him know what's going on in my head, he starts pitching in when it's obvious i need help. even though my husband brings in the main paycheck, we BOTH earn it and with that understanding, we BOTH make equal decisions about our family and finances. but above all, deciding to stay home with the kids has been the best decision i could have ever made. i always say, "a bad day at home is far better than a good day at the office." kids are young only once and for a very short time. i feel very blessed that i am able to stay home and raise my kids. it's what i've always wanted to do.

whatever you decide, keep communication open and get a circle of friends you can talk to. Being a mom is not easy, otherwise, everyone would be a mom.

Brandy - posted on 10/24/2011

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I definitely have dreams of going back to work as a Paralegal like i used to be, i am trying to start my own business from home but everything seems to get in the way! I have 5 kids and my fiance does not help out around the house at all, except for the heavy things like fixing and taking care of the vehicles. I am broke and depend on him for money which is so unlike me at all! I am so used to being independent and making my own choices but with all of the kids it's too hard. For example, i slept through his alarm today and the whole house woke up late and he was late for work, my day has just gone down hill from there! I feel cooped up and my only time out is to go food shopping!! There has got to be something better than this!

Amanda - posted on 10/24/2011

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i definatly feel equal in our marriage...my husband helps out whenever he can...sometimes not as much as i would like but for the most part he is there...i sometimes feel stuck in need for other hobbies and past times and adult conversation because i am home all the time but i manage to find the time to try and get out for a while with just me or just me and a friend so my husband stays home with the kids but i love being a sahm and wouldn't change it...its tuff, there are good and bad days but i love it

Angela - posted on 10/24/2011

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no I do not feel trapped as a sahm, I am not in the house all day however. I tend to have most the say in this house, I am the queen!

Juli - posted on 10/23/2011

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I love being a stay at home mom!! I now have 2 beautifull babies a 22month old daughter and 1 week old son, I am on disability and my husband is unable to find work so we are both stay at home, I try for both of us to have equal say although he leaved the decisions up to me. he does house work while I do the mommy thing and he helps with the tough times and double duty times. I am real blessed to be able to have him to help out.

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