Danielle - posted on 08/12/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )
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I LOVE my boyfriend. We have wonderful beautiful little girl, some financial stability, some kind of balance of "roles" at home and he wants to get married. I don't really know if I want to married. I'm not religious, and I don't care much of what "the law" or anyone else thinks of the status of our relationship. So I was just curious to know where other women stood on marriage. Why to do it? and Why not to do it?
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Brittany - posted on 08/20/2012
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I personally, believe marriage is extremely important. I think it shows commitment and love. I didn't have any sexual relationship with my husband prior to marriage. It was something that we both wanted.
In the legal sense, it is so much more complicated to be not married, especially when children are involved. There is a reason homosexuals want to be able to have at least a legal union. Taxes alone are a HUGE benefit. Not to mention that as boyfriend/girlfriend if you were to get sick your boyfriend couldn't take sick leave to care for you, he'd HAVE to use vacation time.
I honestly don't see a reason not to unless your afraid that the relationship will end. I can't think of a negative to getting married.
Jane - posted on 08/19/2012
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Speaking as someone who has been married and divorced twice, then lived with someone and split with them before our son was born, I actually don't think it matters one way or another if you are married or not. It does not guarantee commitment - only your feelings for each other can do that and your willingness to work through the bad stuff that life can throw at you.
The only reason I would get married now would be if my son wanted the person I married to be his 'dad' (he has no contact with the 'sperm donor' who actually fathered him!) and then it would be a quick trip down the Register office for the legal bit - sorting out the adoption of my son while we were there.
Amanda - posted on 08/12/2012
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My man and I have been together for 8.5 years. We have an almost 3 year old. We are not married; we do talk about it, and because I think our son will appreciate it when he's older, we will probably do it. As a matter of fact, if it hadn't been for our families, we probably would have gotten married years ago. What really matters is what's important to the two of you and why.
Michelle - posted on 08/12/2012
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The pros are then your daughter has parents who both have the same name as her, and legalities of what would happen to her if either of you got hurt are easier. Other than that it is just a piece of paper, I did the marriage thing lasted a bout 3 years, have been living common law with my daughters father who is 3 for the last 5 years and couldn't be happier. Will we get married maybe some day but not right now.
Katherine - posted on 08/12/2012
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It's really up to you. I've always thought of it as a piece of paper too. But it's important to some people. Does he want to marry in a church? You could always just go to the Justice of the Peace and do it and then have a reception after.....there are many ways to do it. But if YOU don't feel comfortable then don't do it, that's my opinion. I've been through two marriages. The first we went to the JOP, the second we had a church wedding. I regret both, but that's just because they ended in divorce. So I'm not saying do it or don't either way, just go with your gut.
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